Earlier this evening
I kind of said goodbye
To a person I've been friends with
And it would be a lie
*****
To pretend that I'm not out of sorts
Or just a little sad
That our friendship hasn't made it
Cos the truth is she's not bad
*****
She's a kind and gentle person
With a heart that's big and sweet
And she wants a better, nicer, world
A world where she could greet
*****
Every passing stranger
As they walked by in the street
A world where kindness lived and danger
Didn't stalk on stockinged feet
*****
But the truth is that she also
Seems to want what I can't give
And she's insecure and dependent
Wants a life that I can't live
*****
Even though we say we're friends
I know inside that she wants more
And she's angry with me now because
I've gone and shut the door
*****
I'm afraid I don't like helpless
I'm not used to "girlish" ways
And I can be a little gritty
On indecision or delays
*****
I told her I wasn't ready
For a love life in full swing
Wasn't ready for a girlfriend
Or the issues it would bring
*****
I still feel that's true and
Haven't changed my mind about the score
Even though she thinks I'm playing
Truth is I have made damn sure
*****
That my interactions have remained
Strictly on the level
I could play games but I wouldn't
I'm no saint, nor I the devil
*****
If I could see a way that
We could happily be friends
I would do it in an instant
But I suspect that this will end
*****
So I sit here contemplative
Not morose, but quietly sad
For a friendship that is shaky
For a love I never had
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