A Plain Simple Bloke!

He was just a plain simple bloke,
With a nose like a camel's hump.
His puckered up lips were no joke,
But looked like the whole used to dump!

This plain simple fellow had eyes,
One rolled up and the other down.
Like two butterflies passing by,
With one blue eye, the other brown!

One arm was a little stumpy,
With two thumbs and two short fingers.
The crown on his head was lumpy,
And he walked like toting clingers!

His left ear was tight on his head,
His nose was a foot long, or more.
His complexion was blotchy red,
And he'd shake his ass like a whore!

He and water never got close,
And soap always gave him a rash.
His aroma wasn't a Rose,
And his smell could make autos crash!

He was just a plain simple dude,
Somewhat ugly, and stinky too.
He just couldn't help being rude,
With his way of thinking askew!!