An Addict's Prayer

My heart is yours but I love another
I need you but I crave another
I can't think straight
My feelings, confused
I'm at war with myself
My body suffers
I try to block it out
But I hear that voice
Ever so little, urging me
Pushing me
I can't resist
I keep falling, I keep going back
I hate myself after
Regret and guilt wash over me
I read this, I read that
I tried this, I tried that
Did this and did that
Burnt the bridges,
Built em all up again
What can I do?
I tried all of them
They failed
I'm still here,
The gates are open but I'm stuck in my cell
I want to escape
All it took was one try and I was hooked
One more and I'm done
No! Have another
It's my last day, it won't hurt
No more, I'm changed
All lies I told myself
So many times I hurt you
Made you feel unloved, unwanted
It was never you,
I was the problem
Don't give up on me
I need to escape
I need to be free
But I can't seem to do it
I want to let go,
My hands fail me
I'm not in control
I need help, I admit it
I want salvation
This time, I'm ready
I'd take your hand
I'd follow your lead
I promise to never go back
But if I fail, promise you'd never leave
If I fall, promise you'd catch me
If I get lost, promise you'd find me
Promise you'd be with me till the end
And when I'm out of that place
When I'm finally free
I'd be truly yours and you'd be mine
This time, just you and me.