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Doctor Who?

Doctor Who
Said ‘Cor!’ not ‘Whew!’
And then to his sidekick, ‘Please come within, Miss,
You’ll now be shagged senseless, inside my Tardis.’

Billy Piper
Was already riper
For a hot transdimensional sexual bout
For her cunt was much larger inside than out.

Tom Baker
Wanted to take her
Inside the famous blue police box
That’s where she’d learnt to suck on cocks.

William Hartnell
Loved to smell
His granddaughter’s quim
Her scent satisfied him.

The very first Doctor
Knew that it shocked her
When he fingered her arse
And shot into – the past.

Davros’ creation
Shocked Terry Nation
Ever were it a dalek’s fate
To ignore its sex drive and exterminate.

But a pillbox on wheels
Can’t know how it feels
To be thoroughly poked and equally bored
By the knob of a really horny time lord.

Sylvester McCoy
Was a very bad boy.
On his frequent trips to Galifry
He oft ended up on the Master’s knee.

Jon Pertwee
Would take no fee
For travelling through time and space,
As long as he got some come on his face.

It was the fate of the cybermen
To get their condoms in packs of ten
Or more, the main reason being:
In zero G they used them for peeing.

If my words have you offended
Think but this and all is mended:
Now that these, my verses, are over
You can come out – from behind the sofa.

***********
If you thoroughly understood all the obscure references in these verses then all I can say to you is ‘Get a life.’ But I’ll be watching on Saturday.

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