Heavy, Heavy Loss

Before her first anointment
Before mine
We agreed, we promised

The tent that was our sheets
Poled by her knees
Staked by her heels digging
Timed by mattress purchase

Her tans fade and renew
My stomach flattened then grew
Who is pregnant
We shared the flu

Then tall light and handsome
Not like the fathers
That dug in gardens
Not the ice cream man

Not like anything lethal
Only all that bad stuff
That we avoid saying
Touching, smelling

Gone with the toaster,
An armpit full of dandruff
Some saltpeter and
And, and, unness

The unness of losing ones lover
To the man who eats Wendy's
Watches TV, Oprah sans sandals
Clicking sports, deftly

She was gone
Leaving cue ball shaped
Openings in my
You know where