Heavy Silence

Silence...
Reverberating through the corridors of my mind.
Echoes of nothing that once was something.
Fleeting glimpses of what could have been
But was denied, by my own permission.
Culled from a spark into a low flame.
Never given the opportunity to grow, to live.
Extinguished...
My conscience, my feelings, my emotions hound me.
Betrayed by my rationality,
By the curse of knowledge, of sensibility.
Vast wastelands of empty chambers waiting to be filled,
Waiting in vain,
Denied a chance to be free.
Guilt ridden, I have betrayed myself.
My thoughts remain my own, my words etched in lead,
An unsuitable image for all to see, for all to read,
For all to overlay their own interpretations, their own meanings.
Yet I remain, within my mind, the only recourse there is.
Never able to satisfactorily portray what remains bound within me.
Held prisoner by the very force which gives me life,
Even to myself I am a mystery.
I know neither what I do nor why I do it.
Carried along like a leaf floating in a river.
Taken to unknown lands, to unknown shores.
Held at the mercy of the wind,
Betrayed by my greatest enemy, myself.
I remain here alone, a pitiable pawn to incomprehensible forces.
Alone with my thoughts,
Unable to defend myself against myself…
I, me,
         I am.