I Will

What's the matter, baby, wife got you down?
You say she's always complainin' you're not makin' enough money, and naggin' you to take a second job
She's maxed out all your credit cards, and says she needs more space
Then there's that dinner she ruined last Wednesday
And on top of it all, she won't even give you a blowjob?
Well, I think I can solve one of your problems
'Cause if she won't suck it, I will

Let me take you over to the back of the bar
To a dark alcove in a secluded nook
Where I'll unzip your pants and kneel on my cushion
And do my best to relieve all your tensions
I have a special massage technique I think you'll like
And you won't have to wine and dine me
Hell, you don't even have to light my cigarette
I have a lot to offer
And all I ask in return is a hard dick and a little affection
'Cause if she won't suck it, I will

So ladies, if you have a good man who takes good care of you
Who's good with the kids, and doesn't abuse you
And who's even willing to eat your pussy in return
You better suck his cock, and you better suck it good
'Cause if you don't suck it, I will

--September 15, 2001