My Heart

Hello my Love, I have so much to say yet so little time.
I wish I could say this much, much sooner but the words on my heart could never reach my lips.
My heart that says take her, love her, yet so much more in a language i can not even interpret.
My love that i hold for you that beats so strong even to this day yet i know it will fade away.
My Love, I am ashamed even as i write this that we can never be together both because of my cowardliness and my hatred, not hatred for you my Love never for you, but for myself, and the demons that i entertain.
The same demons that makes me long for things i cannot and should not have, the demons that burn my heart with its exquisite pain.
My heart wishes to have you both you and the demons, but i cannot nay shall not take that offer. I know that offer will only destroy both of us so i have decided that only i should meet my destruction.
For you see these demons let me have and lust for the evilest of things, the cruelest of obsessions, the hurtful-est of lies, and i will ally with my hatred to keep my demons down even if the fruit of the labors prove fruitless.
And hence that is where my fear lies.
Fear of being alone, fear of myself, fear that i may never see you again... fear that the demons will win their meal and their acts of the outside world.
I know that i will lay on my bed rotting from the inside from where the demons be kept with their never ending acts of burning, cutting, eating, their sanguine meal.
So my love i write this to appease myself, appease the part that will love you forever even if it is the smallest part it will some through its own designs still survive even if it is just a coal from the inferno it once was.
So with my dying breath i will let this letter reach for then and only then will you be safe from me and my demons i can not let die.
So my love i do not know if you feel anything for me, or even cry for my passing, but no matter what happens let it be know it was not your fault, for you were the best any person could hope to hold, and i know this even as i write this that your love has made someone the richest person on this world, and that I implore you even with my love hurt heart that you should never stop loving.

Goodbye my Love and goodbye my love