Poets’ Corner

A few clerihews inspired by some of my favourite poets.

W. B. Yeats
Was proud of his nates;
When it came to his arse,
Anyone could make a pass.

William Wordsworth
Dreamt of the earth
Where daffodils grow;
Whilst, all the day long, he just wanted a blow.

Emily Dickinson
Couldn’t give her man a hard on.
She’d tried every trick
To harden his dick.

Vladimir Mayakovsky
Never asked ‘toss me’.
When wondering if she’d let him touch hers
He thought ‘I’m not a man, I’m a cloud in trousers’.

Walt Whitman
Was known as ‘The Dick Man’;
‘O. Captain’ to his friends
Who knew he liked whipping their ends.

Louis MacNeice
Was a not horny beast.
His poems, however,
Will turn me on forever.

William Blake
Was quite a fake.
He wrote ‘Tyger, Tyger, burning bright’
To prove his cat’s arsehole was tight.

John Milton was regularly tossed
Whilst he wrote Paradise Lost
By his girlfriend, using only one hand.
‘Ah,’ he thought, ‘Paradise Regained’.

Roger McGough
Had a very bad cough.
He expectorated out of him
Enough phlegm to nicely wet his girlfriend’s quim.

Alan Ginsberg
Usually known as a cold iceberg
Was, in secret, a very patriotic Dom.
Why then did he write ‘Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb’?

John Keats
Liked to suck on teats.
His poetry is somewhat grammary
But his real passion was mammary.

Alexander Pope
Liked soap on a rope.
He’d lather his wife’s cunt well in the shower
Then he could easily slip in and plough her.

Percy Bysshe Shelley
Was very very smelly
E’en the stench of his semen
Offended all free men.

Benjamin Zephaniah
Said ‘Hiya,
‘Even after fucking every woman in the nation,
‘I’ve (still) been listening to the rong radio station.’

PS. Check out ‘rong radio station’. Great poem, great music. Luvya Benjie!