A Broken Family

"You're not going to have sex, so don't worry. I don't appreciate you calling me stupid, either, little girl. Get out."

"Are you going to tell Alex?"

"If I see you come back into that party I will."

"You're going back?"

"Holly, I'm going to use that slut like I had planned. Your little scandal isn't getting in my way." As he spoke, a light went on in Eli's room right beside mine. "Well look at that. I don't have to tell Alex after all. I'm sure our little brother will for me."

"I can get him to stay quiet, man-whore. He and I keep many things from you guys." I opened the door, but he caught my wrist.

"You and I are not done talking about this."

"I think I am." I ripped my hand away and shut his door.

I silently slipped into the house and up the stairs. Eli was leaning against my doorframe as I got to the top of the stairs. "Where ya been?"

"Shh!" I walked closer and pulled him into my room. "Don't wake Alex up, you idiot."

"JT's going to tell him anyways."

"No he's not, and you're not going to either." I sat down on my bed and pulled off my heels.

"What do I get out of it?"

"I won't tell Alex you snuck off to experiment with weed the last week of school."

"I kept your last secret because of that!"

"Well, I guess you shouldn't have done it, huh, little brother?"

"If you keep lording it over me, I'll tell them myself." He had his arms crossed and stood in the center of my room.

"They know I'm desperate to get a guy, I just don't like to hear their lectures. You are the one who will get grounded."

He narrowed his eyes. "Guys don't like manipulative girls, Holly."

"I guess it's a good thing I'm only manipulative towards you, huh?" I smiled at him and patted the bed beside me. He sat down and I brushed his blond hair to lay flat since sleep had messed it up.

"Thank you, I wanted to be groomed," he said sarcastically, slapping my hand away. "You shouldn't go out looking like that, Holly, or guys will think the wrong thing."

"I'm getting lectured by the little one in the family now, great," I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder.

"You're actually the littlest one."

"Thanks for pointing it out."

"No problem."

"Go away."

"You going to stay in the house or do I need to shackle you to the bed?"

"Do the shackles come with a cute guy?"

"Me."

"Then I'll pass." I dropped back on my bed, pulling a blanket over my lower half. He got off the bed and turned my light out before exiting the room with a "good night."

-

I was lying on a pool chair, trying for a tan—which was unlikely for my light skin, when a body plopped down on the side of my chair. I opened an eye to see JT. "What do you want?"

"I better not catch you without underwear again."

"I sure hope you don't. That's kind of awkward."

"Drop the sarcasm."

"Don't say stupid things. It's my body; I'll clothe it the way I please."

"Holly Elizabeth, if you don't promise me right now that you'll wear panties with your skirts, I will walk in that house and tell Alex and make him deal with it."

"I'll just tell him the same thing." I felt him stand up from the chair and my eyes popped open, reaching for JT's hand. "No wait, don't. I promise."

"I just don't seem to believe you. Give me a minute and I'm sure Alex will come out here and get a real promise from you."

The door opened and Alex and Drew spilled out. "A real promise for what?"

"Holly here—" I jumped up and covered his mouth.

"Nothing at all. Don't worry about it. JT, shut up." He licked my hand and I pulled it away.

"Go change," Alex said as he looked between JT and me.

I reached over and picked up my tank top off my chair. "I've got it covered." I pulled the shirt over my head and sat back down on the chair.

"Unlike last night." I kicked a leg out at JT immediately.

"You jerk!"

"Where were you last night?" Alex asked sitting down in the chair beside me. His brown eyes were calm, but I knew I was about to get a talking to.

"In Jared's game room with a boy's tongue down her throat."

"You left that part out of the story." Eli walked out and I shot a glare at him as he took the seat on my other side.

"So I'm the only one who didn't know you went out last night?"

"Drew didn't," Eli added unhelpfully and I glared at him again.

Alex just looked at me. "Can I talk to you in the house?"

"You know, I kinda like the sun today. Plus, you'll be nicer to me in front of Drew." I closed my eyes and tilted my head towards the sun.

"Drew will you take Eli inside with you, please?" I snapped my head back up to Alex. His expression hadn't changed. Drew and Eli got up as asked and went inside. "So what happened?"

"Nothing happened. Nothing was going to happen. JT is just being a hypocritical jerk right now."

"She was wearing a short skirt without panties." I glared at JT and he just gave me a challenging look.

"Holly Elizabeth, why were you not wearing anything beneath your skirt?"

I looked back at Alex and rolled my eyes. "Like I told JT last night, I didn't want panty lines. And yes, he did tell me I could just wear a thong like normal girls. But like I also said, I will pass on the butt floss."

Alex lifted an eyebrow. "I guess you just shouldn't wear that skirt anymore."

"You know what?" I stood up, suddenly realizing how completely awkward this conversation should be. "I'm going to wear whatever I want. I'm 18. You can't ground me; I'll just move out."

I went to walk away, but Alex stood up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me back. "You're right, little girl, we can't ground you. However, do you want to try and see what happens when JT sees that you do it again?"

"You know, you've never once tried to punish me yourself, so your words don't really bother me." I didn't look at him as I said it, too busy glaring at JT. A crack went through the air and I jerked forward. "What in the hell? That hurt!" I spun around to face him, angling my backside away from them both. Alex's brown eyes were still calm, his brown hair lightly lifting in the breeze.

"I don't deal with your punishments because they will hurt. I don't mess around with forcing you into following the rules like JT. Don't talk to me in that tone again, Holly Elizabeth."

"I cannot wait to get away from this house and you three psychotic assholes." I turned back towards the house and walked straight to my room, right past the two boys who'd been spying from the kitchen window.

-

A knock came at my door a few hours later around dinner time. "Go away."

"I brought you strawberries and spaghetti," Drew spoke through the door. Sighing, I rolled off my bed and opened the door. He smiled at me and held out the plate and glass of tea.

"Thanks, Drew." I leaned up and kissed his cheek as I took the food from him.

"No problem. They were fighting over who had to face your wrath, so I figured I'd intervene for all of you guys."

"Probably a good decision," I told him, setting my cup down on my nightstand and sitting down on my bed with my food. I looked up at him in the doorway as I twirled some noodles around my fork. He was kind of cute, and I'd had a crush on him when I was younger and he still thought of me as a little kid. He'd grown a little and now topped off at 6'2" like Alex, shared the same shaggy brown hair, but differed in that he had blue eyes to Alex's brown and was slightly less bulky. "Hey, wanna go see a movie later? I want out of the house."

He looked startled and looked down the hallway. "Um... I don't think that would be a wise thing to do, Holly..."

"It's not a date, Drew. I just want to go do something."

He looked back at me and seemed torn. "Still. Alex told me not to—"

"Alex doesn't run my life. As long as you understand we're going as friends, it's not a problem."

"I can't overstep, Holly. He's my friend and I'll still need to ask him."

I just looked at him for a couple of seconds and he looked like he was ready to change his answer. "Fine. Never mind then. Thank you for the food." I reached back and grabbed my remote to turn my TV on. He stood there a moment longer before reaching in to pull my door closed and walking away.

I'd just finished eating when there was another knock on my door. I replied with my "go away", but the door was already opening to admit Eli. He walked over and lay down beside me on the bed.

"Did you suddenly lose your English skills? I said go away."

"Stop being all angry, you're prettier when you're happy." He closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head. I flicked him in the chest.

"Go away."

"I didn't do anything. I don't think I should be in the doghouse, too." He didn't open his eyes and stayed where he was. I pushed him, trying to roll him off the bed. He was only ten pounds heavier than me, the smallest of my brothers, and I had almost gotten him rolled all the way over before he smiled and rolled himself more towards the center of my bed.

"I don't like you."

"You don't have to like me to love me."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"I never claimed to make any sense."

"You're annoying. Go away."

"I'm doing my job as little brother then, so I think I'll stay."

I pushed at him again but he leaned back towards me so I couldn't move him. "You're like a beached whale. Get off my bed."

"Not until you forgive me and promise to come play a video game with me."

"I thought you didn't do anything for me to forgive?"

"I didn't. But since you're female, I'm obviously at fault for something, so I might as well ask for forgiveness."

"It's a good thing you've learned that early in life."

"If I didn't have such a princess of a sister, I might not have."

"She sounds like a lovely person."

"Not exactly. She called me a psychotic asshole earlier."

I frowned. "I mostly meant the other two. I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "It's fine, Holl. Come play with me now?"

I sighed. "Fine." He quickly rolled off my bed and held out a hand to pull me off too. We walked into the room beside mine and I grabbed a controller from under his TV before lying down on my stomach on his bed. "Alright, what am I kicking your ass at today?"

"You'll be losing at this new game I picked up. I think you'll like it." He lay down beside me and started flipping through the menus to start our game. Ten minutes later we were talking back at the screen and pressing buttons to avoid strange creatures trying to kill us.

"Who's winning?"

"We're about even right now," Eli answered JT who stood beside my side of the bed. He sat down after a moment and I scooted closer to Eli. It took another few minutes before the game ended.

"Ha! I win!" I turned my head to stick my tongue out at my little brother. "The older sibling always wins."

"Not true. I beat Alex."

I rolled my eyes and ruffled his hair. "Alex lets you win because he likes to see you happy."

"He does not," he pushed my hand away and shook his hair back into place.

"Yes he does." I pushed myself up onto my knees and slid off the bed behind JT. "I'll be in my room if you need me, Eli."

I heard JT get up behind me and follow me into my room. "Go away," I said as I sat down on my bed and pulled my Cosmo magazine over to finish reading where I'd stopped when Drew brought my food.

"How come the little one always gets your sympathy?" He lay down in front of me and I pulled my magazine up so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"I actually like Eli. He's a good brother."

"Because he lies for you."

"No because he trusts me and is there for me."

"You could've gotten raped at that party, and taking you home wasn't being there for you?"

"JT, please go away. I don't want to talk to you."

He pulled my magazine away from me. "You reading sexual magazines isn't helping you any." I ignored him and slid off my bed, slipping on my flip-flops and grabbing my keys. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to stay at Amy's tonight." I walked out of my room as he got off my bed and stepped over to Eli's room. "Hey, I have my phone if you need anything. I'll be at Amy's tonight, okay?"

"Sure; have fun," he nodded his head, his gaze intent on the game he was playing.

I turned back around and JT fell into step beside me. "You have to talk to me at some point."

"I don't have to right now." I quickly took the stairs, but he kept pace with me as I reached the front door.

"It's not my fault you get yourself into these situations."

"Exactly, so don't involve yourself." He caught the door as I tried to pull it closed behind me, and followed me to my car, opening the passenger side door and sliding in before I could lock the other doors back. "Get out of my car, JT."

"Not until you talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Then I guess I'll be joining you at Amy's."

I glared at him and slammed my door, walking back towards the house. I opened the door and yelled, "Alex! Make JT leave me alone!"

A few seconds later Alex walked out of the kitchen and towards me, looking outside to my car. "What's he doing?"

"He won't let me go to Amy's."

Alex seemed amused by this. "Why not?" He waved at JT and the latter grinned and waved back.

"Are you going to make him get out, or not?" I asked, frustrated.

"You're a big girl." He turned to walk away.

I slammed the door and started walking up the stairs. "I hate you both."

"When are you going to outgrow temper tantrums, Holly?"

"When you both stop being dicks all the time! I wish Mom and Dad were here to control you both so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit!" I heard him start on the stairs behind me and quickly took the last few steps and hurried into my room, closing the door behind me. I took my picture frame off my bedside table and curled up facing away from the door. It opened a moment later at the same time as the front door shut.

"You need to start acting your age, Holly Elizabeth. Bringing our parents up every time you're upset isn't helping anyone around here." I didn't say anything as a tear slipped down my face and my fingers pressed against the glass covering my parent's faces. I'd taken the picture outside of church one day while they were laughing at something and the sunlight made Mom's blond hair and Dad's brown hair shine and their faces glow. It was taken only a month before they'd died.

The bed sank down behind me and Alex pulled on my shoulder to make me look at him. I jerked it away from him and kept my position as I heard JT walk in. "I want to be left alone." My voice was thick and I felt JT sit down on the bed, too.

"Is she okay?" JT asked Alex.

"She'll be fine; she's just upset Mom and Dad aren't here to spoil her and take her side every time something goes wrong."

"I'm right here; don't talk about me like I'm invisible!" A few more tears flowed now as I realized they would never allow me to feel that happiness that Mom and Dad showed in their picture. "Is it so bad to actually want someone to take my side on trying to find happiness?"

"I have some news for you, Holly. Having sex doesn't make all your troubles go away. If you're unhappy before, you'll still be so after."

"I don't want just sex! I want this!" I sat up and shoved the picture in his face, the tears falling more frequently. "I want my family back and I want someone to make me that happy." JT tried to take the picture from me to see it, but I ripped it back and curled back onto my side. "Go away."

"Feeling sorry for yourself won't make things better."

"Go away!" I screamed and I felt them lift themselves off my bed.

-

It was raining when I woke up the next morning. I quickly slipped out of bed and down the stairs, my head hurting from crying myself to sleep. I stopped outside the door to check if anyone was awake, but there was no sound and the clock read seven AM so I opened the door and slipped outside. I slipped off my t-shirt, leaving me in my tank and stepped out into the rain. It was cold at first and I gasped at the contrast from the 80 degree air. I quickly got used to it though and starting turning in a circle slowly, my arms held out from my sides. I'd always loved the rain and made sure to take advantage of the soft pelting of raindrops.

I got dizzy after a few minutes and sat down on the bottom step of the porch so that I was still in the rain. I held my hands palm-up on my knees and watched the water splash there. I jumped as legs appeared beside me and Alex lowered himself beside me, his jeans already darkening from the raindrops. "Mom used to take pictures of you dancing in the rain when you were little. Dad would smile and watch you both as he sat and rocked in the swing on the porch."

I kept my eyes on my hands and felt a warm drop slide down my face. I didn't remember the same things he did, and it scared me that maybe I was forgetting all the little things. "Why are you awake?"

"I fell asleep on the couch and heard the door close."

I stood up and turned towards the door. I picked up my shirt from the ground and walked inside, Alex right behind me. JT was sitting on the stairs with two towels and got up to hand them to us. I quickly wrapped it around me, hyperaware that my tank-top was white and I'd taken my bra off in the middle of the night. "Thanks," I said quietly and walked around him to go back to my room. He took a hold of my arm and pulled me into a tight hug before letting me go up the stairs.

I'd unwrapped the towel and was rubbing it at my hair as I walked into my room. "Why do you always go out in the rain?" I jumped at the voice coming from beside my window where Eli had been looking out. I quickly rewrapped my towel around me, but not before he'd glanced down at my visible nipples.

"I just like the smell and feel of it." I slipped off my shorts from under my towel and walked to my dresser to pick out new ones. I heard him sit down on my bed as I slipped on new shorts. I dropped my towel, facing away from him and pulled my tank-top over my head before pulling on my t-shirt again. He was lying on my bed with his eyes closed, and I smiled, walking quietly over before jumping on top of him and tickling his sides.

"Holly, stop!" He smacked at my hands as his body squirmed and he laughed. He quickly flipped over and started tickling me instead.

"Okay, you win!" I said after only a few seconds. I was weak in tickle fights, my stomach telling me it couldn't handle the fuzzy feelings I got from it. He stopped and rolled back beside me. "Why are you awake?"

"JT came in about an hour ago and it woke me up."

My muscles tightened in annoyance. "He's such a hypocrite."

Eli didn't agree or disagree, always being the good brother. "I want our family back, too. But we're all we have now, Holly, so we've got to be nice to each other and stick together."

I sighed. "You're not supposed to be smarter about life things."

"You'll find a guy someday, too. Just like you told me a couple months ago when Christine broke my heart."

"But you actually have a chance. I'm not even allowed close to anyone."

"They let Drew near you. Pick out a guy you like and tell them to buddy up with me; I've got your back."

I smiled. "I don't think it'd work, but thanks, Eli."

He turned towards me and pulled me against him. "Now go back to sleep. I'm too lazy to walk back to my room." He buried his face in my neck and soon the breath I felt there slowed. I could hear soft voices down the stairs, but couldn't make out any words, and fell asleep soon after Eli.