A House Divided Ch. 01

"What do you mean by that?" she said with a slightly cross tone.

"I mean, you're a beautiful woman and you'll get hit on regularly by guys who think they can use you or who don't think women belong in the 'big jobs'. Not every workplace is as enlightened as your office in Bloomington. The further up the ladder you go, the bigger the target on you; man or woman."

"That's a cheery summary of my future. You don't have much faith in me, do you." she said with more irritating voice.

"I have lots of faith in you Jo. I'm just telling you what to expect from some of the less principled members of the profession."

"So you have a low opinion of my industry too, do you?" Now she was angry.

"I'm trying to tell you what to expect. It isn't exclusive to the advertising industry. It's a fact of life in big corporations with big marketing departments. I'm speaking from experience." I tried hard to use a conciliatory tone.

"You have no bloody idea of what our industry is about. You're just spewing the usual bullshit you see on T.V. From now on, keep your opinions to yourself." With that she rolled over, facing away from me and I knew our discussion was over. If I had been wearing boots, I would have kicked my ass downstairs for being stupid enough to start the discussion in the first place. I didn't get any medals for smooth talking tonight.

Sunday went by without further flare-up. We went about our usual routine and with the sunny warm afternoon, we had a barbeque dinner. Lindsay was unusually quiet and the conversation at dinner was limited. Everyone knew this would be our last day together for an unknown amount of time. Jo had promised that she would be home every weekend she could but I had no unrealistic expectations that there would be many of them in the near future. I promised myself we would make our last night together a loving one. I wanted her to leave realizing that she would be missed.

Indeed, we made love that night, but there was something missing and it lacked that comfort and familiarity we had become so used to. There was an air of desperation and probably neither of us felt fulfilled when it was over. I slept a troubled sleep that last night and I suspect Jo did as well. I had a feeling of foreboding that came from nothing I could identify except fear of the unknown. I was afraid for Jo, but I didn't know what I should be fearful of.

I arranged to take Jo to the airport on Monday afternoon for the short commuter flight to Chicago. We hardly talked at all while we waited for her flight to be called and when it finally was announced, I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply and with all the love I knew I felt for her. We both had tears and promised to call each other every night and then she was gone. I stood watching her walk to the gate and disappear down the boarding tunnel and then turned and headed out to the parking lot. I felt an emptiness I could never recall feeling before. It was as if she was leaving forever, rather than for some indefinite period. That empty pit in my stomach was telling me all was not well with me.

*

This is the first of a three part story which will be submitted over the next five days. As always, your comments are appreciated.