A Lecture In Sociobiology

Good morning, and thank you for the opportunity to give this paper to your esteemed symposium. I am most grateful to you. The field of socio-biology is an exciting one right now, and I have been lucky to study one of the most significant areas of impact between the developing field of ground-up genetic engineering and social behaviour. I refer, of course, to the propagation of the species floris sapiosexualis - to give it its assigned scientific name. Or, as it has become known generally; "Blue triffids", or the "Rapeflower".

Blue triffids, as you know, are one of the first entirely man-made organisms to find its way into the wild, although perhaps 'wild' misrepresenting its general habitat. The blue triffid has mainly found its way into the urban ecology, due to its peculiar and unbreakable relationship with the human species.

Next slide please, Joanne.

It is generally accepted that the blue triffids were the invention of the 'rogue' scientist, Dr Wojislav Krocek, resident five years ago in the University of South East Victoria, now on trial in the Hague for crimes against humanity. It is also generally believed, although yet to be proven in court, that Dr Krocek also took the decision to release the organism into the wild.

As an interesting diversion - Dr Krocek claims that his inspiration was to devise a unique gift for his wife. His wife is standing steadfastly by him in his trial, and his defence is - so I hear - going better than expected as a result.

I will expound on the reasons why his defence is progressing so well in due course, because they are intimately linked to the social behaviours the presence of the rapeflower is bringing about.

It is a mere 15 years since the first entirely manmade organism was created. Before that time, of course, the field of genetic engineering was progressing strongly, but on the basis of selective modifications to existing natural organisms. The field progressed by trial and error - changing a gene here, bringing a crop of plants or animals into existence, observing the effect, destroying them. Wash rinse repeat.

Thankyou Joanne.

Now, an entirely new approach is made possible by the advanced bio-modelling techniques of computer programs such as Xenomorph. The precise physiological characteristics of an organism can be decided from the get-go, and the trial-and-error has shifted to seeing how these manage to interact with and survive real-world conditions. The overwhelming majority of organisms thus created have been total failures, the bulk of the rest at least partial failures. It must be said that on a purely ecological basis, the Blue Triffid has been an astonishing success. Say what you like about Dr Krocek's morals, this man who we are now trying for great crimes is also our most accomplished bio-engineer. This is a controversial view, but it is irrefutable,

Floris sapiosexualis is now endemic to Australia and East Asia, mostly as I said, in the urban environment. Examples are found in the bush, but only near paths and other areas frequented by humans. In the cities it is fair to say that it is prolific, despite the strenuous attempts at eradication.

Based on the epidemiology of its spread from the campus of the USEV to an area now containing nearly one-sixth of the world's population, I am fairly certain that it will be a worldwide phenomenon in just a few years. Again, the reasons for this are not essentially in the plant itself, but sociological - there are too many people with an interest in ensuring the spread of this plant. Like cannabis, the opium poppy and countless other examples, attempts at eradication will ultimately fail, and I think that it is important for those of you who are here from Europe, America and Africa to understand the social changes that will occur as and when the Blue Triffid establishes itself. Already I note that there have been instances found in Canadian cities and in Turkey, although these were contained and destroyed.

First, the morphology of the Floris sapiosexualis. It is a large, ground dwelling succulent. Each individual plant has exactly one reproductive lifecycle, and produces exactly one quite enormous flower. The whole lifetime of the plant is spent producing this flower and once it is spent, the plant will die. This makes the Rapeflower quite a vulnerable organism as all its eggs are almost literally in one basket. It is not exactly inconspicuous, and it is far from immune from attack by pests and fungi. It also has the agricultural, forestry, environmental and, indeed, law enforcement agencies of the human race against it.

Given all of the above, the success of this species is highly improbable, wouldn't you think? Again - and you are sensing a theme here - the reasons for the success are sociological, not biological. And again, this has a direct bearing upon the proceedings against Dr Krocek.

Like any plant species, it dedicates itself to maximising the success of its reproductive cycle. And the reproductive cycle of the Blue Triffid is most unique. The flower is the primary sexual organ of course, but it is assisted by a number of other organs - its prehensile whip-tendrils, the gland which spits a mild opiate at its chosen target, and the primitive brain-stem which coordinates all of these. In this way the plant draws upon the techniques of naturally occurring carnivorous plants (although I stress that its behaviour is not carnivorous, just the techniques used), and it also draws somewhat upon the mythology of its namesake, I dare say, but that is just speculation as to what Dr Krocek's inspirations were.

The flower of the Floris Sapiosexualis is about 1.25 metres across and consists of 18 large blue rounded petals. The flower opens from a bud that grows to the size of a small beachball. The plant itself generally has an array of broad green ground sitting leaves, while its central stem underneath the bud can be 20 to 25 centimetres across to stabilise the weight of the bud. This leads down into the root assembly which fans out and stabilises the plant. Once the flower is ready, it opens and faces usually about 70 degrees upwards and towards the sun or sunlight, while the tendrils normally lie on the ground around the flower waiting for a sign of disturbance.

In warm and temperate climates it appears to be a perennial, but in colder climates it appears to have the ability to survive at its root base through quite harsh conditions. A magnificent achievement, really.

The Rapeflower is a unique design as it produces its seeds deep inside its stem, and pumps them out at the opportune moment. No natural plant functions like that. Generally 6-10 seeds are produced in a single flower. Its pollen is collected on the stem itself, and the flower attempts to gather foreign pollen from insects and the wind to improve the sexual diversity of its offspring plants. The seeds themselves are about the size of a tennis ball, or slightly smaller.

The Rapeflower, because it is so large, depends on its seeds being spread far from its base in order to minimise intra-species competition for soil and sunlight. Its seeds are also immature and unfertilised when extruded, and require a further period of about one month in a warm and wet environment to mature before they can survive in the soil. Once planted, they grow in-situ into adult plants over the course of three to four months.

So this is a species which is not self sufficient in its own reproductive cycle. It depends to some extent on bees and insects for part of this cycle, moving the pollen. It also depends entirely on humans - human females to be precise - for the important task of dispersing its seeds.

Thanks Joanne, skip forward two slides please.

The Blue Triffid's unique behaviour that leverages this symbiotic relationship is as follows:

The plant is brought from a dormant to an active state by disturbance on the ground. Pretty much any disturbance can awake it if it on the scale of human footprints on or near the tendrils which lie on the ground.

On these tendrils there are sensitive smell organs. The tendrils will rear up into the air and attempt to wrap around the source of the disturbance, trapping it very quickly. The tendrils are extremely flexible and can wrap around an arm or leg five or six times.

The smell glands either do or do not pick up a positive signal from the target, depending on if they are a human female or not. There have apparently been false positives recorded, where a cow or something similar has been targeted by the plant, but generally they are pretty accurate. If no positive signal is picked up, then the tendrils will loosen and fall back to the ground, giving the target a good minute or two to make their escape before the plant is again sensitised.

If a positive signal is detected, then the tendrils will tighten further, and the pads will come into play. The ends of each tendril are tipped by these pads you can see here, about 8 centimetres long and 4 centimetres wide. They are covered in a very fine serrated furry fibre, which does not really drag against skin all that much, but it can grip fabrics like a really strong velcro.

Any tendrils that are not actively holding the target will launch repeatedly at the target and drag against her, pulling and tearing clothes. This action is very strong and can tear most fabrics to shreds.

Those tendrils that are holding onto the target will simultaneously begin to manipulate her into the position which is needed by the plant. Generally, this is a kind of squatting position, facing away from the flower. The tendrils are exceptionally strong, and can and usually do hold the target slightly - a foot or so - above the ground while thus manipulating her. Whether the target is struggling or not generally makes no difference. Generally any struggling will stop anyway as the plant uses its special gland to spray its opiate at the target to calm, but not incapacitate her. Some allege that the opiate has some aphrodisiac properties, but I am dubious about this, and it speaks of hindsight I think, given what later occurs.

How the plant knows the target is appropriately positioned is a mystery that only Dr Krocek can settle, but I suspect that it is simply a sense of weight and position of the tendrils.

During this time, the metabolism of the plant will speed up in preparation for seeding, which will warm the plant, particulary the flower stem. Glands on the flower stem will start to secrete an oily sap, which will collect up all the pollen on it.

The flower stem itself is covered in a lot of these glands, and is usually about six inches in diameter, and anywhere from 18 to 26 inches long. The tip of it is a strong cartilege-like material, and has a rounded conical point to it, but this will open out to let the seeds through during seeding. The stem is accompanied by a second stem which is covered in fur, which runs parallel to it, about two inches away, about 3/4 its length. This seems to have no other purpose than to stimulate the target.

So, the target will be manipulated up until she is squatting over the flower, then she will be pulled down such that the stem begins to penetrate her vagina. The motion of the tendrils is quite slow, so it usually takes a while for the target to be pulled down, but the plant will generally pull down the target for a while until there is no further downward movement, then relax slightly. Entry of the stem into the puss ... er vagina of the target is remarkably smooth - I have been lucky enough to observe a few seedings myself, and the sap makes for a highly effective lubricant.

Once the target is sitting securely on the plant stem, then the stem itself begins to move. This appears to be purely a favour to the target on behalf of Dr Kocek, this part of the process appears to use a lot of energy while giving no discernable short-term benefit to the plant, especially how long it goes on for.

The stem has a movement gland at its base with a sort of biological hammer and piston mechanism inside it. It repeatedly pulls back and releases the plant stem, making an audible 'tap' sound as it does so. The tapping begins slowly, about one cycle per second, and speeds up very gradually.

The tapping continues and speeds up for a very long time - half an hour is typical, and up to an hour is possible. By the time the energy of the plant is spent, it may have reached up to 80 cycles per second. Ex-targets have reported some pretty extreme numbers of orgasms while in the clutches of this thing, so its movement appears to be well tuned to human physiology. During the process of this movement, the target will be held quite still, although there will be movement of the second stem across their pudenda, usually enough to touch their clitoris extensively.

When its movement energy is expended, it moves rapidly to the seeding. At this point, the target is tipped backward about 45% and pulled down firmly on the stem. The tip of the stem is very effective at finding the cervix of the target, and as the target is pulled slowly and firmly on the stem, the tip will stretch and penetrate through into their uterus. Some targets have reported excruciating pain as a result, although a surprising number report little pain, and a very strange but somewhat pleasant 'full' feeling - bear in mind that the tip is very smooth indeed, and the movement is very slow.

Once through the uterus, the pressure of the target's cervix around the stem's tip will cause the tip to open up in her womb. Then the plant will start pumping the seeds up into her, with the assistance of plenty of the sap liquid. This can be pumped in at a quite high pressure, enough to get the womb to expand to accommodate all the seeds and liquid.

As to fertilisation, the sap liquid has absorbed a lot of the pollen on the outside of the stem and it has been osmosed in and pumped up. So we think that fertilisation takes place inside the womb of the target.

As I noted, there are up to 10 seeds, and the female womb is very flexible in accommodating these. These will essentially mature inside her for about a month, after which they will start to give off hormones which mimic those that women experience around the time of labour in childbirth. This causes a mock-childbirth to happen, in which the seeds are expelled from the womb through the vagina. This can happen quite precipitously, so women who are implanted by the Rapeflower often have to squat down in awkward places to give birth to seeds.

Once the seed is expelled, it is ready to grow where it lies, providing it is on soil.

So, where was I? Yes, once the target is implanted by the flower, it's all over, really. The tendrils will loosen and the plant will be spent. It's largely up to the target female to extricate herself from the flower's stem, which can take some pulling and squirming about, and she frequently will require assistance to pull herself off it.

Now I'd like to turn to the sociological phenomena associated with this plant, starting with the time just after implantation, and then moving on to other things.

The first phenomenon I find telling. Now, it is perfectly feasible to remove the seeds from a target's womb - call her a 'victim' if you must - with a brief non-invasive surgery. What we have found is that after the initial rush of targets to hospitals in the early, panicked, days of the plant's appearance, very few actually choose to do so any more. Perhaps less than 5% of cases.

This can be explained in terms of rational behaviour of course - perhaps the effort, embarrassment and stress of even the non-invasive surgery is not seen to be worth the effort by victims. It still seems strange that so few, many of whom refer to having been 'raped' by the plant (a tad anthropomorphic I think) choose to dispense with its offspring.

Let us move on then. Most victims therefore spend a month per occasion bearing the offspring of the plant, before having to give birth to them. It is not easy to conceal this - a victim tends to have an abdomen that is distended somewhat like a five-month pregnant mother, but on close inspection the eggs form a distinct and different shape to a human fetus in its placenta - much lumpier. So there is a significant and visible proportion of the female population that has had this experience in society. Shared experiences, we know, usually create shared communities. There is indeed evidence of this, in terms of interactions between these females, and also the sudden popularity and vogueish nature of "maternity" clothes that are sized only for a 5 and not a 9-month pregnant mother. Bear in mind that these women must continue on with their everyday lives and careers while in this state.

In terms of the size of this population, you can see here that it is not inconsiderable. And this is where it starts to get interesting. Yes, these plants have proliferated and are now to be seen everywhere in cities in East Asia, and yes, with increasing numbers of plants you would expect increasing numbers of incidents. But you would also expect a point of diminishing returns when humans adapt and take precautions, and the plants approach saturation point and cannot increase their numbers much more. We have seen the latter, but the numbers of incidents is still on its straight upward path, even while botanists have determined that the number of plants has flattened out. Are human women really unable to learn to avoid tendril-laden gardens, or is there something else going on here? Remember that Dr Krocek is accused of mass rape.

I mentioned precautions, and there are certainly plenty that can be taken, even as the eradication programs are failing and being wound back to public gardens and thoroughfares only.

In the early days, protective undergarments became very rapidly available - those made from strengthened materials that cannot be removed by the plant's tendrils. Indeed, even a sturdy pair of jeans provides a fairly reliable level of protection. You would think that if the threat is as grave as it is made out to be they would be ubiquitous wouldn't you? We find that wearing these is very much the exception to the rule. Dresses are in this season, just like last. Retail figures even show that shops that specialise in inexpensive, flimsy and discardable cotton clothing are outgrowing the rest of the market.

In fact, there's a new vogue for going pantyless among young women, evidenced by papparazzi photographs every week showing the pussies of celebrities in intimate detail. Girls nowadays seem to think of their pussies as being part of their general 'look', and wear short dresses, and adorn their pussies with jewellery, tattoos, perfumes, even cosmetics - I hear the new thing is to apply lipstick to one's labia minora in a variety of colours.

Is this the behaviour of a populace terrorised by the threat of the Rapeflower? I think not.

Ladies and gentlemen, the picture I am painting for you is one where the human race has actively aided and colluded in the evolutionary (or revolutionary) success of the Floris sapiosexualis, every step of the way. That is to say, women are surrendering themselves to this plant and choosing to spread its seeds. Not a few, but tens of millions of them.

Yes, this is a highly controversial statement, and I can understand your protests, but the evidence bears it out. There is now a widespread subculture among women, of going deliberately in search of Blue Triffids for casual sexual satisfaction, or being consciously carefree in their approach to areas where the Rapeflower is present.

At the moment a strong taboo attaches to this behaviour, but that makes it no less prevalent. Some of the more censorious authorities are already sensing this, and some have threatened to prosecute and fine women who appear to be deliberitely abandoning themselves to Blue Triffids, a measure which fortunately was opposed and shouted down by feminists and civil libertarians.