A Little Bitty Tear, Let Me Down.

"No problem, run off a copy for me, Bea, and then give the original back to Miss Parsons here."

"Colette, get me the general manager of Slough Hospital ASAP." The intercom again.

Shortly the phone rang. "Hello! Yes, good, you know who I am then. I've got a question for you. How much is your hospital overspent this year. ---- Okay here's the deal. You have a patient in there by the name of Sally ... sorry, June, what name is Sally using?"

"The same as your name, Crawford," June Parson replied.

That was a surprise.

"Right, you have a patient by the name of Sally Crawford. A drug overdose case. If she survives, your hospital will receive a check from me for one million pounds. If she dies, you get squat. Do you understand? --- Good! I want no corners cut, no expense spared. Good bye."

"Surely they are doing all they can anyway," Bea commented.

"I don't trust these bloody bureaucrats running our hospitals nowadays. You hear too much about how they try to cut corners. I just wonder sometimes. Anyway flashing a million quid at them can't do any harm and I'm damn sure everything possible will be done for Sally now."

"Right. Now come on, let's go and collect my kids. I assume that's what you came here for in the first place, June."

"Well, Mrs Crawford claims that they're your children in that letter. I can see no harm in turning their care over to you for the time being at least. But you realise that, until a judge says otherwise, they are my responsibility."

"You needn't worry. They will be in good hands, and you can rely on me to keep you abreast of what is happening to them. With your permission we'll take them to my house near Swindon. There should be plenty there to keep them occupied until we find out how Sally is going to be. We can get up the motorway in an hour or so to visit her in the hospital."

"I'm pleased that you're thinking that way, Mr Crawford."

"Come on, we started this conversation with John and June. I'm sure the children will be more relaxed if we keep things that way."

The three of us made our way to the basement car park. Miss Parsons joined Bea and myself in the back of my limousine for the journey to Slough. We stopped at the hospital first to check on Sally. The doctors weren't too willing to commit themselves at what they termed as 'this early stage'.

Then June Parsons guided us to the foster home where the children were staying. Bea and I stayed in the car whilst she went in to speak to the children alone first. Ten minutes later she signalled for me to join her; Bea followed me inside.

"Kay and Heather, this is your Uncle John. He's going to look after you until your mother is feeling better," June told them.

We'd decided on the Uncle John bit, until we knew how Sally was going to be. And how the girls were going to take to me.

"Hi, girls, this is my friend Beatrice, you can call her Auntie Bea."

The two ten year olds were eyeing both Bea and myself with some suspicion.

"Until your mummy gets better, you are going to stay with your Uncle John at his home in the country. I think you'll like it there; he has horses you can ride and the house has its own swimming pool," Bea added.

"Where is our mother? Can we see her?" Kay asked.

"Is she going to die?" Heather added.

"Well, the doctors are doing their best to prevent that from happening," I volunteered. The girls were still looking distrustful. "We saw her a little while ago, but if you wish, we can stop at the hospital and you can see how hard they are working to make her well again."

"They might not let the children in to see her," June pointed out.

"They'll let these children in to see their mother, I assure you. Remember those pound signs," I replied.

We dropped June off at the station where she'd left her car when she'd travelled up to town to see me. Then we went on to the hospital. As I expected, the rules were bent to allow the girls into the ICU.

The girls didn't cry as I'd expected them to do. Actually they were a couple of tough little cookies. Oh, and Bea pointed out there was a distinct family resemblance to myself. At that point I decided to forget about the DNA tests I had planned.

The run down to Wiltshire was pretty quiet. Once they began to feel at home in the Limo, the girls played with just about everything. The idea that you could watch TV whilst travelling down the Motorway was novel to them.

It was as we turned off the Motorway that Heather turned to me and asked, "You're our father, aren't you?"

I could see no point in denying it. "Yes, I believe I am, but I have to tell you, I was unaware of that fact until today. If I had been, you would have seen a lot of me."

"We know. Mummy told us last week that she didn't tell you about us. We didn't know what she was planning to do, but she told us she had been very nasty to you and didn't tell you that you were our father. She said you believed her other husband was our dad," Heather continued.

"She was crying!" Kay added.

"That is true. Perhaps one day your mother will explain why she did what she did."

"Do you think she's going to get better then?" Kay asked

"Well, I certainly hope so."

"She doesn't want to get better. She wants to go to heaven." Heather said.

"I can't believe that, with two wonderful children like you," Bea replied.

"Mummy's tired. She works so hard and there's never enough money."

"Well, there is going to be now and she definitely won't be working anymore. There, see that little house?" The car was just entering the grounds of my estate. "When she gets better, I'm going to ask your mother if she would like to live in that house. You two will be able to ride horses here and swim in the pool up at the big house."

The two girl's eyes were open wide as they stared at the mansion the car had stopped in front of. The house staff came rushing down the steps to meet them. I knew that hurried preparations had been made for the girls' arrival. One of the guest rooms, with twin beds, had been made ready for them.

I think Bea and I were forgotten as the house staff fussed around the girls and whisked them away.

"Well, that's a turn up for the book," Bea said. "I wonder why she didn't tell you they were yours."

"Oh, Sally must have laid on quite a subterfuge to hide the fact from me that she was pregnant. You know, now I think about it, I think she must have been showing at that last meeting we had; when we signed the divorce papers. As I remember she was sitting at that table all kind of hunched over and she had a long coat on. I can remember thinking it was a very strange thing to wear on a nice day like that.

"I wonder why she hated me that much. After all, it was her that cheated on me. How else did she expect me to react when I found out she was sleeping with that arsehole?"

"You'll have to ask her. That's supposing she survives."

The children settled in very well, I thought. Getting fussed over by the house staff, they seemed to enjoy a lot. Every night I would tuck them up in bed and tell them a little more about their mother's and my life together. I stopped short of the last year.

+++++++++++++++++

It was two weeks later that I entered the room where Sally was sleeping. She'd woken in a compos mentis condition for the first time, the evening before.

I placed the letter she had left in her hand and waited for her to wake up.

I suppose I must have dozed while I waited. "Hello, John. I'm sorry!" was the first thing I heard her say. I looked over at her and saw she was staring at the letter in her hand.

"How are my girls?"

"They're fine. I left them in the swimming pool this morning. I can tell you they are wearing my staff out. They are two lovely girls, a real a credit to you. Bea is going to bring them here this afternoon."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I hid them from you. It was a silly thing that I did in anger. But once it was done, I couldn't think of a way to reverse it."

"Well, I couldn't think of a worse way than the one you chose."

"I'm sorry but I was desperate. You know I owe thousands of pounds that I just can't pay back. Robert left me with so many debts; he had me sign for everything. I think that's why he married me because he, as a bankrupt, couldn't get any credit."

"You have no debts now, Sally. I've cleared them all. And those sharks that you borrowed from are now out of business, permanently."

"Oh, you found out about them."

"That wasn't hard to do. They turned up at your flat demanding money whilst one of my staff was collecting the rest of the girls' things. He told them to come later, and, well, I think they got a bit of a surprise when they did. Rest assured they are never going to bother you again."

"Why are you being so nice to me? The last time you saw me, you...."

"That was a long time ago, Sally, and I was still hurting then. Now it's just an unhappy memory. Mind, I hurt a lot when I read your letter. I'm going to take a long time forgiving you for keeping my girls from me."

"I'm sorry. That's all I can say."

"Well, as far as the girls know, we are friends now. Tomorrow, if you agree, you are going to be moved to my house. I've got a couple of nurses lined up to look after you there. When you've fully recovered, you and the girls can live in one of the estate houses. That way I can see them often."

"You're not going to take the children from me?"

"I'm not going to take their mother away from my girls, no. They love you, possibly more than I did once. But I'll make sure you never take them away from me again."

"I'm sorry, that's all I keep saying. But I am truly sorry for all the stupid things I've done."

"There's one question that I've got to ask you, Sally. Why did you go with that bleeding creep in the first place?"

"Don't you think that's a question I've asked myself a thousand times over the last ten years? I'm not sure I have an answer. He worked on me very carefully over a long time. Oh, I know why he set out to do it. He told me when he realised the girls weren't his. That didn't take him long; they look so much like you.

"He said they couldn't sack you, something to do with their father's will. They were convinced that you had some of their father's money. They thought when you didn't have a job, you would use some of it to - I don't know - start a business of your own, I suppose. They had private detectives watching you all the time.

"Were they pissed off, when you went to Southampton and met up with Simon Johnson. Then a week later the company's four biggest contracts were cancelled; Johnson's amongst them. But you knew that was going to happen, didn't you? I think the bank foreclosing on them really took them by surprise. They hadn't expected that one.

"The next thing was the police turning up at the house. Did you know that Robert charged just about everything to the company? We had nothing, no house, car or anything. Robert and Tony were arrested for misuse of company funds. But I suspect you were behind all that."

"No, Sally, the forces of law moved along their own paths without any help from me. But Robert and Tony were on ridiculous salaries. What did they do with all their money?"

"I'm not sure. They both liked to play the stock market and Robert threw money around like water in the clubs. He wasn't averse to a little gambling as well. I think they'd squandered it all, when they came up with the idea of getting you out of the firm. They planned on you revealing where all the money was that they were convinced Henry had squirreled away."

"You still haven't explained why you went with the arsehole."

"Well, I was angry with you. You know Robert was very clever; he pulled the wool over my eyes. Every time you went away he'd make little comments. He'd let me overhear conversations that led me to believe you had girlfriends all over the place. It's hard to explain, but I'd hear him discussing with Tony expenses you'd put through for night clubs and things.

"Oh, I'm sure they were legitimate expenses. But it was the little asides he'd say to Tony on the phone; that I wasn't supposed to hear, but of course he made sure I did. You know, man talk; he'd say things like you had a new girl in New York or Rome, and you'd spent a lot money entertaining her.

"They had me convinced that when any trips came up, you wanted to go and meet up with your girlfriends."

"But if you thought I was running around on you why didn't you challenge me?"

"Because I couldn't bring myself to believe it. If I challenged you and you said it was true, what was I going to do then? I wasn't strong like you were. I don't think I could have walked away and divorced you. I would have been living in misery.

"But as time went on I was beginning to waver in that belief. And then that play came up. You knew I wanted you to take me to it. Well, Robert was sitting there when you called and said you were going to New York. He heard our conversation, and I was crying so he comforted me. Then he drove me home so I could get your bag and then to the airport.

"We didn't go back to work. Robert said I was too upset. We went down to The River at Sunnydale and sat there talking all afternoon. After that he took me for a meal and to the play that night. I think I must have had too much to drink. I know it's no excuse, but that night I went to bed with him. I'm sure I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't drunk so much. But that's easy to say now, isn't it.

"I was feeling very low and Robert made me feel good about myself that day. After all, my so-called loving husband had just flown off to meet his girlfriend. Well, so I thought!

"I still thought that until Robert walked out on me. He told me everything about how they set it up. If you hadn't come home that day, they had photographs of Robert and me together; they were going to send them to you anonymously.

"I knew it was wrong to sleep with Robert. And if it's any consolation to you, he was not very good in bed. Too selfish...."

"I don't want to know that, Sally."

"I'm sorry, but he was useless at just about everything, except hitting me. He got quite good at that towards the end. When you came back and found Robert and I together, I was angry. I'm not sure why but I felt you set me up. That bloody girl told me you weren't coming home until the Sunday. That bloody little tart...."

"Petra."

"Yes, Petra. I was sure she was your bit of stuff over there."

"Well, she wasn't!"

"Don't you think I realise that now? But I thought you set me up so that you could catch me and divorce me. That made me really angry. Oh, I suppose I was angry with myself really.

"I was going to tell you about the twins the day we signed the divorce papers. I had it planned. I'd sign the papers and then before you signed, I'd tell you about the babies. That way it wouldn't be as if I was using them to get you to change your mind and take me back. You'd have had the choice whether to sign them or not.

"But you were still angry with me. You know, I think that's when I really should have realised that you hadn't been cheating on me. If you had, you surely wouldn't have been so angry with me for doing the same thing. No, you called me a bloody slut or something and I lost my temper. I'm sorry."

"For god's sake, stop saying you're sorry. What's done is done and nothing can change it."

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"Forgive you, now that's a question. Possibly I might forgive you eventually, but there is no way I'm ever going to forget. But there are two lovely young ladies in this equation now, and I - or rather we - have to think of them. I will be civil to you at all times and I expect you to be civil in return. As far as the girls are concerned, you are their mother and I will be their loving father. Just don't bring your boyfriends around my house."

"There's never been any boyfriends and there never will be, ever."

"Ever is a long time, Sally!"

+++++++++++++++++

Sally recovered, after a fashion, and lived in the little house on the estate with the girls until they went to university. Cancer took her a couple of years ago now. I don't think she really had it in her to fight that hard. I'm convinced the drugs she took in that overdose left her with some permanent damage.

Bea and I married in the end. Do we love each other? Well, I don't think I love Beatrice in the same way I loved Sally. Bea and I are kind of soul mates. We're very fond of each other and we enjoy making love to each other. I suppose it is love but not the same kind of love.

The twins are grown and married now. They have children of their own. Bea has been designated grandma, a title I believe she thinks she's too young to hold.

Am I happy now? Yes and no! Wouldst that I could have lived my life out with the woman I loved. Now I can only put flowers on her grave.

Beatrice waits at the gate of the cemetery every Sunday whilst I do so.

Life goes on.