A Matter of Time

He came through the front door. "Honey, I'm home!"

No response. Nobody home. Well, Tiffany sometimes worked a little late.

Master bedroom empty, freshly-cleaned, sparkling, better than when he left this morning. Not that he would normally notice.

Ronk undressed and showered and shampooed and rinsed and mused on his plan. "Foolproof!" he thought. "Except, there's always some fool..."

He dismissed his negativity. Nothing could go wrong.

He dressed in casual sports clothes and loafers. He plopped on the livingroom couch and switched-on the big plasma screen to a nature show. Carnivorous cats roamed East African plains. He felt like a cheetah awaiting its prey.

Tifffany opened the front door. "Honey, I'm home!"

Professor Randy R. (for Roanoke) Ronk turned away from the screen. He beheld his beautiful wife, her honey hair in a dramatic 'do', her form-fitting business dress-suit showcasing her like a runway model, her smile brilliant. He felt his old longings... and his new disgust, and anger, and determination.

"Darling!" he called as he rushed over to embrace her. "How was your day?"

"Oh, just fine, the usual. Spent all afternoon supervising a re-indexing," she lied. "That really wore me out! You can tell me about your day after I shower and change, okay?" She kissed his cheek and pushed away.

"Yes, of course. Say, I had a rather good day. How about we go out for a nice dinner tonight? There's that new Asian-Incan fusion bistro..."

"Oooh yes, that sounds yummy! I see you're all ready already. I'll be down in just a few minutes."

Another lie. She would take at least a half-hour, maybe longer.

"I can hardly wait. And I have a BIG surprise for you! Don't be too long."

Ronk watched his wife's bubbly butt bounce enticingly as she walked to the master suite. His blood pressure and pulse rate rose. He would surely miss that... but no, no regrets. Now was the time.

He waited until he heard water running, heard splashing, heard her singing to herself in the shower. It sounded like "I Touch Myself". Typical. He pulled out his remote, activated the preset, previewed the destination -- clear at ground level -- and pressed the bright blue GO button.

An idle thought brushed his mind. "Blue button? Isn't it supposed to be a green button? Have I slipped timelines into an alternate universe? No, I probably just slipped on the display programming. I'll check that later," he promised himself.

The singing and splashing stopped after the button-press. Ronk went into the ensuite bathroom, now empty, and turned off the shower. No wasted water.

Ronk strode back to the livingroom couch. He tuned the screen on his remote to the space-time destination he sent his wife: the middle of the football field in the middle of tomorrow's big game -- stands filled with tens of thousands of hot-blooded spectators, TV cameras bringing the action to a million homes.

And Tiffany, naked and wet and not made-up, popping-out into clear view. Oh yes. What public humiliation!

But wait! What was this? Tiff was laughing! Convulsed in hysterics! Then dancing around, arms and legs wide, body spinning, head and pubic hair glowing! What? What was going on?

Ronk changed the display to a wider angle. He could see the entire stadium now -- a stadium filled with... naked people. Some running over to Tiffany. She leaned into them, licking boobs, sucking cocks, bending over, being taken from behind while a pussy was pushed into her eager face... what?!?

He looked away. The big plasma TV was now on a news show. The streamers caught his eye: NATIONAL NUDE DAY A BIG SUCCESS - MILLIONS NAKED.

National Nude Day? What, tomorrow was July 14 already? Oh shit! He paid such close attention to time, but he had missed this. Oh fuck!

Ronk punched control buttons on his remote. Text flashed: LOCKOUT. What? He could not lock-in on Tiffany! He could not transport her away! He could not punish her!

Not in this timeline, anyway.

Ronk thought quickly, decisively. He was determined. Tiffany would NOT get away with her infidelity! If not in this timeline, then in others, many others.

He reprogrammed the remote and pressed the hot red GO button repeatedly.

POOF. A new world, much like the old world. Tiffany breezed through the front door. Ronk sprayed her with metalflake green paint and pushed her out.

POOF. Another new world, also too familiar. Tiffany was in bed with various people. Ronk tossed a tear-gas grenade into the room and locked the door.

POOF. In this world, Tiffany's hair was longer, brighter; her breasts, hips and calves were more pronounced. Ronk tied her naked struggling body to a tree.

POOF. Hmmm, this was different. Tiffany looked reptilian, lizard-like. Ronk glanced in a mirror. So did he! He shrugged, and pulled off her wriggling tail.

POOF. Whew, they were both human again. But naked. And everyone else is naked; the world is naked; NATIONAL NUDE DAY has gone international.

POOF. Tiffany was back in bed with big black men sporting big black cocks. Ronk hesitated, then released a swarm of biting gnats. Hilarity ensued.

POOF. Uh oh. Ronk was in bed on his elbows and knees, with one big black cock jammed in his anus while another filled his mouth. Tiff pushed the button.

POOF. Ronk was Ronk again. Tiffany was Tiffany again. They were in bed 69ing. "What a lovely cock," she whispered, just before biting it off. Ouch.

POOF. POOF. POOF. Ronk jumped from timeline to timeline. His heart shrank. Something was wrong! Everywhere he went, everybody was naked, and Tiff was mostly enjoying herself. And the date was always July 14, National Nude Day. Nude forever and ever, amen.

Ronk had programmed himself into an endless loop. He realized the error and knew how to fix it. But every time he entered a correction code, the remote flashed LOCKOUT. He was stuck here forever. Damn.

"Oh well. Might as well make the most of it," he thought.

He dropped the remote and went looking for naked women to consort with. Maybe he would look up Leila...

HAPPY NUDE DAY!

The End?

Author's note: Some of you clever readers may have caught in-jokes in this tale. Sequels may ooze out. Implications of the Dimensional Dilator may provoke more ridiculous stories. Constructive comments are welcome. This is an entry in the NUDE DAY STORY CONTEST 2014. If you like this, stand out from the crowd and VOTE! Thank you.