A New and Delicate Balance Ch. 05

I was confused. There was the alcohol buzz. There was the pain. There was this whole mountain of mixed up, stinking shit inside me.

"I missed you," my damn traitor of a voice whispered.

"I hate you," the same voice hurried to cover up.

"I know," she said. No tears, just sorrow. "Will you listen to me? Please?"

"No," I said. "I don't want to. But I can't not listen. I guess you knew that."

She nodded.

"Yes, I did. Sorry," she said.

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There was food on the small table between us. Chinese food. Not bad, I guess. But it was just a symbol. We didn't touch it.

"How could you, Irene? You. And with me?"

She winced.

"It was the day I was there alone, on a Friday, remember? I thought I was alone. Mary had gone into the city. Ph....Phil lied that he had too. I was at the pool, tanning. Topless. Half asleep...mostly asleep, rather..."

Did I need this? Could I listen to this?

"I, eh, I thought it was a dream."

I groaned. Her eyes blinked.

"No, really, Eric. At first I thought it was a dream!"

I rose, pushing the chair back.

"If you think you can bullshit me, Irene, after all we had, please don't bother to see me again."

She grabbed my hand.

"No! I don't bullshit you. It is all true! Please stay!"

"Dammit, Irene," I said. "You lied away all we had. You lied and lied and now you tie it all together with a shining red bow of more bullshit lies! A dream, Irene! My ass!!"

I walked away from her, grabbed my coat and found the door to the street.

Her voice was in my ears.

I ignored it.