A Really Bad Day

'I'm sorry Jess, I keep forgetting but I promise I'll try harder. Having said that you're welcome to keep hold of my face.' I said with a soft smile.

'At least you're trying.' And the tinge of sadness in her voice was unmistakable.

'So do I gather that someone else didn't try?' Her eyes closed and she sighed deeply before replying 'yeah. I was engaged to a guy when I lost my hearing. He stuck it out for about 9 months but things just weren't the same after I left hospital and he broke it off. He said it had nothing to do with my deafness but I didn't believe him, especially since he hadn't really wanted to make love in all of that time and we'd had such a good sex life before.'

How could you NOT want to make love to this woman for 9 months? Her hands were still on my face and her thumbs were gently caressing my cheeks. The temptation to lean in and kiss her was almost overpowering but I didn't want to ruin the evening so I reeled myself back in and asked her what she wanted to drink instead.

I was in turmoil inside. It felt like her caresses were flirting with me and yet she'd just told me she'd been engaged to a man; the mixed signals weren't helping me work her out one little bit and unfortunately I wasn't blessed with a finely tuned gaydar!

Pulling reluctantly away from her hands I poured us both a brandy and we sat in the living room. We were both on the sofa but turned toward each other so that we could talk, our knees touching slightly if one of us moved.

We talked long into the night and occasionally her hand would land on my leg or arm as she emphasised a point, or to make me keep my face turned in her direction and every little touch seared itself into my consciousness like a hot brand.

Jessica seemed oblivious to the effect she was having on me but at times it was all I could do to concentrate on what she was saying and restrain myself from launching myself at her.

Having left the sofa to visit the bathroom, I returned to find Jessica sound asleep. She had slumped down into the cushions and I knew she was going to wake stiff and sore if I left her like that, so I tried to wake her.

Stupidly, I spent a couple of minutes crouched down next to her calling her name softly before I realised just what an idiot I was being, so I gently rocked her shoulder in an attempt to wake her.

She didn't wake but she did slip further down onto the sofa seat, so I lifted her legs so that she was stretched out, fetched a spare duvet and tucked her in tenderly. I then left a note on the coffee table telling her where everything important was in the house and inviting her to help herself if she awoke before me.

It seemed the most natural thing in the world to kiss her forehead gently before I turned off most of the lights and headed into my own room where I lay for a long time just contemplating the woman who was currently sleeping soundly on my sofa.

Eventually sleep wrapped me in it's embrace and I slept soundly until I was woken by the sounds of Saturday morning life that were drifting in through my bedroom windows. I stretched languorously and rolled onto my back, glancing at the bedside clock and thinking how wonderful it was that despite being 9.30 am, as it was the weekend I could lounge in bed for as long as I liked.

My foggy morning brain registered the fact that I was sleeping in a tee shirt, rather than naked. I then sat bolt upright in bed as memories of the night before filtered through the sleep and I remembered that I had a guest. I was dying to know if she was still there so I jumped out of bed, used the bathroom, wrapped myself in a bathrobe and crept gingerly downstairs and into the lounge.

I wasn't actually sure if I wanted her to still be there or not. I had no doubt that I found this woman attractive, both mentally and physically, however I still had no idea whether she considered me as anything other than a friend. Either way, I did know that I'd like to keep her in my life on whatever terms she would allow, so I crept over to the sofa and peered over the back.

I noticed that there was now a pile of clothes next to the sofa where she must have taken them off some time during the night and I heard a little sigh escape from my lips, knowing she was still here and was undressed.

The duvet was heaped up in such a way that it was impossible to see her at all, so I walked around the sofa and listened for any small noises, trying to tell if she was awake. Hearing nothing I bent close to where her head had been last night and started to pull the duvet down slowly, my heart beating just that little bit faster as I moved the covers as slowly and gently as I could.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when all of a sudden I heard 'Trying to sneak a peak huh?' followed by that tinkling laughter I was coming to like so much.

I looked up to find that her head was now exposed at the other end of the sofa and she was peering at me over the top of the duvet, a mischievous smile playing across her sleep rumpled face.

'Jesus Jess, you scared the crap out of me!'

'Well that serves you right for trying to take advantage of me when I was asleep!'

'I wasn't! I was just trying to wake ......' but I left the sentence hanging as I realised she was just teasing me again. 'Humph! Not my fault you migrated to the other end of the sofa during the night. So -- do you like tea or coffee in the morning?'

'Tea please; strong with 1 sugar' she called after me as I headed into the kitchen, shaking my head in mock annoyance.

How had this woman learned how to push my buttons so effectively in just a few hours? I couldn't help smiling to myself as I put the kettle on; I had a feeling that life would never be dull when Jess was around.

I turned around to find her standing right behind me and was somewhat surprised when she wrapped me in her arms and hugged me tightly, placing a little kiss on my cheek.

'Thanks for a great night last night and for making me comfortable on your sofa; I'm sorry I fell asleep on you.'

'That's ok Jess. For future reference there's a spare bedroom upstairs that's more comfortable than the sofa though.'

'Future reference huh? So are we going to do this again?'

'Absolutely!' I stated firmly 'It's my turn to pay next time remember, so we have to do it at least once more so I can get even.'

We'd spent a comfortable hour drinking tea and chatting about nothing in particular when she sighed, saying she really ought to go home and feed Jasper.

She seemed quite reluctant to go and after she'd left, having hugged me and kissed my cheek again, I thought I understood why. Despite living comfortably on my own for some years, my house now felt curiously empty and I knew that she was also going home to an empty house, apart from Jasper that is. Maybe I should get a cat now I no longer had Sarah to fill my time?

I rattled around in the house doing the usual chores but by 1pm I was finished and bored. I kept picking up my phone to text Jessica but I really had nothing to say and I didn't want to come across as pushy, so I kept putting it down again without sending the message.

I decided to go out for a ride to amuse myself, so I spent an hour riding around a few different bike shops, getting my indicator replaced and getting quotes to get the tank resprayed but by 2.30 pm I was home again and bored.

I kept glancing at my phone just in case I'd missed a text from her but there was nothing. I had the rest of the afternoon to fill and then the evening to contend with and the thought of just sitting here on my own was depressing me.

Finally I realised I had a valid reason to contact Jess, so I sent her a text telling her how much my bike was going to cost and asking if she wanted to pay or go through the insurance. I then added that I was bored and hoped she was having a more exciting day than I was.

I was thrilled when she texted straight back saying she'd pay for the damage herself, that she was also bored, so why didn't she come over and follow me to the repair shop to drop my bike off now.

Result!

She didn't waste any time and 15 minutes later there was a knock at my door. Jess stepped in as I opened it and we automatically hugged and kissed like old friends before I grabbed my crash helmet and jacket to head of to the bike shop.

Now -- I do a lot of my best thinking when I'm encased in a crash helmet and riding my bike. I don't know why but I find it conducive to de-cluttering the brain and therefore allowing for ideas and decisions to formulate more easily.

On the 20 minute ride to the bike shop my mind was a whir. Jessica was very casual and informally friendly with me, but that didn't mean anything did it?

She seemed reluctant to leave this morning but surely that was just because we got on well and she was going home to an empty house?

Surely the little touches and caresses was just the way she was with all of her friends right?

So basically I came to the decision that I was just hoping that she was attracted to me because I was definitely attracted to her; I was therefore blowing ordinary gestures out of all proportion and assigning significance to them where it wasn't justified.

Once I'd gotten that straight in my head I felt better. No, not better but more balanced somehow.

It only took a few minutes to book my bike into the repair shop and then we were back in Jess's car and heading back to my place -- or so I thought until Jess took an unexpected turn at a junction and started driving us in the opposite direction to my house.

I started to say something but instantly recognised that it was pointless as Jess couldn't hear me. We stopped at a junction and I touched her arm lightly, making her turn toward me as I started to ask where we were going.

'Sorry Chris, I need to concentrate on the road so I'm afraid I can't talk to you.' She said with a grin like a Cheshire cat.

I tried twice more to get her attention when we were stationary but she studiously ignored me, focusing all of her attention on the road and pretending she had no idea I was trying to speak to her.

Ok, so I was being kidnapped and taken on a magical mystery tour but who the hell was I to complain. I had nothing better to do and if you're going to get kidnapped it may as well be by someone as sexy as Jess! I couldn't help but smile, this woman had an incredible sense of fun and she already knew me well enough to know she would get away with whatever she had planned.

We soon pulled into a retail park and I groaned inwardly. Shopping was not something I considered fun and I was dreading being dragged around shop after shop for the remainder of the afternoon.

Jess looked over at me as she parked, laughing heartily as she saw the look of distaste on my face.

'Don't worry Hon, I just need to grab some cat food. You can wait in the car if you want to.'

Relieved, I jumped out of the car and walked across the car park with her. I could hear a commotion going on behind me and turned to see an argument going on a little way away. I was just about to turn back when I saw a car screech out of a parking space and come hurtling toward me. In the same instant I knew that Jess was in the car's path and that she wouldn't hear it coming!

I turned quickly and ran at Jess shouting in a futile manner. In 5 paces I had caught up with her, performed a clumsy rugby tackle around her middle and thrown her onto the pavement.

She went down like a sack of potatoes having had no forewarning and I heard the air leave her lungs in a whoosh as she hit the floor, but it was quickly drowned out by the sound of contorting metal.

I climbed off her and she looked up at me as if I was mad until she noticed the car that had wrapped itself around the lamppost a few feet away.

People were running to the car to see if the driver was ok but personally I didn't care. I did care about the beautiful woman on the ground with the terrified expression on her face who was struggling to get some air back into her lungs.

I crouched down next to her and hugged her head against my chest and rubbed her back until her gasps became even breaths again, then I lifted her head to look into her face before asking if she was ok.

'What the hell happened?' she asked quietly

'I'm not sure. There was an argument then the car just came speeding towards us. I'm sorry I hurt you.'

'Hurt me? By the look of that car you've just saved my life!' and the shock of what could have happened suddenly hit her and she burst into tears, hugging me for all she was worth.

I don't know who called the police but they were there within a few minutes. The policeman who took our statements was a nice, kindly man but he had a very strong regional accent which made it harder for Jess to lip read. We did ok though with me repeating everything he said to Jess.

A paramedic took a quick look at her and pronounced her ok but warned her she was going to be pretty stiff and sore soon and to take it easy.

After the formalities were over I left her sat in her car while I went and bought her cat food but by the time I came back she was crying again, getting out of the car as I approached and hugging me fiercely.

'Hey it's ok' as I stroked her hair and tried to reassure her. She pulled away from me and grabbed my face as she had the night before, her eyes boring into me as her thumbs caressed my cheeks.

'I know you were talking, I could feel the vibration.'

'Come on let's get you home, do you want me to drive?' and she handed me her keys, got into the passenger seat and gave me directions.

The journey was made in silence as I couldn't look at her but her car was an automatic, leaving my left hand mostly free to hold hers and it felt as natural as could be.

By the time we reached her house she had started to stiffen up and was starting to bruise from the force of hitting the ground. I sat her in the living room, fed Jasper who was winding himself around her legs in anticipation and went into her bathroom, where I ran her a bath with scented bubbles that I found on a shelf.

Back in the living room Jess was sat where I'd left her, still in her jacket, with Jasper purring loudly as he pummelled her lap. I crouched down in front of her and smiled, noticing the slightly wild look in her eyes. She was obviously in shock and I was starting to wish I had more knowledge of what to do in this type of situation.

'Hey, how you doing?' I asked, making sure to look right at her.

'I'm ok although I can't help think about what might have happened if you hadn't been there and knocked me out of the way. I had no idea that car was coming, it would have ploughed straight into me.'

'I was there though and it didn't. You have some scrapes and bruises but you'll be fine. Come and have a bath and soothe your muscles.' And I lifted Jasper from her lap and took her hand, leading her into the bathroom that was now filled with scented steam.

Walking into the bathroom she realised that I'd already run the bath for her and turned to look at me with slightly misty eyes 'You're so wonderfully caring'

I smiled, took her coat from her and turned to leave the bathroom but she grabbed my arm 'You're not leaving are you?'

'No Hon, I'm just going to hang your coat up, I'll be right outside if you need me. Besides -- you kidnapped me so I don't have my car here!'

'Oh yeah, so I did' and the hint of a smile played across her lips. Not the wonderful smile I knew she was capable of but just seeing her look slightly happier lifted my spirits.

I left her to undress and get into the bath while I hung her coat and started rummaging through her kitchen cupboards to distract myself from the fact that she was naked just down the hall.

I noticed a similarity to my own cupboards in that they were full of easy to cook food for one person.

I may have had Sarah in my life until yesterday (was it really only yesterday?) but we had never lived together and rarely ate a home cooked meal at my house.

The fridge was fairly well stocked but nothing in there leant itself to my limited cooking skills so I came to the conclusion that we'd be ordering a takeaway.

I gave Jess 30 minutes to soak in the tub and soothe her aching muscles before quietly listening at the door in an attempt to tell if she was out of the bath yet or not but I could only hear the unmistakeable sound of quiet crying.

I opened the bathroom door slowly, trying to give her as much advance warning of my entry as possible, before peaking my head around the door. Jess looked up at me, her body hidden by the bubbles, a small smile emerging through her tears.

'Hi, I would have knocked...' I said by way of explanation for my uninvited interruption. 'Do you need anything?'

'Yeah. I'd really like another one of those hugs you're so good at.'

Now this gave me pause for thought. Should I say she could have as many hugs as she wanted once she'd got out of the bath and was dressed or should I just bite the bullet and go hug the naked woman in the bath who set my pulse racing and just hope to god that my body didn't betray me?

The decision was made for me when Jess's arms emerged from the bubbles and opened wide in invitation. I'm only human and who was I to deny the wish of a traumatised woman -- I'd just have to cope!

Kneeling down by the side of the bath Jess wrapped her arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around her back. She lifted herself out of the bath slightly as we hugged and I was very, very aware that her wet, naked breasts were now pinned against my chest and that my hands were stroking the soft skin on her bare back.

I was still managing to cope until one of her hands made it's way to the back of my neck and started to caress gently.

I knew I couldn't speak to Jess in this position, she wouldn't hear me. I desperately wanted to pull away slightly so I could look into her face but I knew that doing so would leave her breasts exposed to my gaze and that I would come undone and lose my self control if that happened, so I was stuck. Wonderfully, amazingly, fabulously stuck.

I was just starting to get lost in the sensations of the hug; a hug that could have lasted for 3 minutes or 3 hours, I had no sense of time, when I could hear gentle crying noises again.

I started to pull back so I could say something reassuring but Jess tightened her hold on my neck and held me in place.

'I may not be able to hear you but I know you can hear me.' She breathed into my ear, sending shivers across my entire nervous system that came to rest in one very specific place. 'You like me don't you?' I hugged her a little bit tighter and nodded gently

'You like me in a way that's not just friendly don't you?' I paused slightly but I nodded again.

'I've never been with a woman before; never even considered it as a possibility before, but I can't deny that I feel differently about you to how I've felt about other women in the past. I can't help thinking about what would have happened if the car had hit you as you tried to help me. If I'd lost you just as I found you, and the thought is devastating.

I need to be sure of what I'm feeling and I don't want to lead you on. I need to know that my emotions are real and it's not just because you're being so sweet to me and that you saved my life. Will you give me some time to work this out in my own head?'

This time I did manage to pull back slightly and to my credit my eyes never travelled lower than the sparkling eyes that were staring intently into mine. I cradled the sides of her face gently, as she had done to me before, and kissed her very gently and briefly on the lips before answering 'As long as you need babe.'

I left the bathroom promptly after that conversation before I gave in to the urge to jump into the bath with her, and embarrassingly I was still doing a little happy dance around her kitchen when she emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towelling robe. Thank god she couldn't hear me singing 'I think she likes me, I think she likes me' over and over as I danced!