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Adventures of Buttman and Cuntwoman

123

[Beware the Ganja Grenades!]

[Author's notes: Warning! This is Humor and Satire story. If you need to give a lecture about faithfulness or STDs, give it to your own wife. It involves a variety of sexual activities, including same sex activities and incest. For those who don't like these themes please move along. Constructive comments are appreciated, hate speech will be deleted.]

Ben Dover and his wife Tracy are at church when the first attack is unleashed. Four Ganja Grenades are thrown simultaneously from four different sides of the octagonal worship hall. Thick green smoke envelopes the crowd of worshipers as they cough from too much smoke at once. Reaching for Tracy, Ben passes out.

"Are you OK, honey?", a masked woman in pink spandex asks him, her suit covering exactly the reverse of what a bathing suit would cover, leaving her firm 32C breasts, fire engine red pussy, and muscular fine tight ass on display. He thinks he recognizes her voice. He thinks he recognizes her long red flowing hair. He knows it's his wife, Tracy.

"Tracy?" he calls out plaintively.

"No Tracy here. I'm Cuntwoman. You're Buttman. We're a crime fighting duo. Yes, we are husband and wife, but the nature of our crime fighting powers requires us to sleep around. Just as with everyone else here in the Hall of the Sexual Justice League." She says clearly, and he knows it is true. He's sees Dickman (sheesh, he really should put that thing away before he pokes someone's eye out), a 6'6" lanky dude, about 180 pounds, with size 18 feet and a size 15 inch cock. Titwoman (is 36FF a real bra size?) is a latin / polynesian mix on a 5'6", 150 pound luxury chassis, customized with long straight dark hair. Asswoman (should have been his soulmate but they broke up in college), another latin crossbreed with at least a 42C chest on a 5'4" 180 pound very softly padded chassis and booty for days. Lezwoman (always has eyes on his wife) a dark Romanian Ashkenazi Jewish princess, checking in at a sleek 34B 5'7" 150 pounds. Ballman (how can a nutsack hang so low yet be so big and furry?), the Scotch/English mutt with a 5'11" frame, 180 pounds of man, and two solid tennis balls weighing a pound each in his nutsack, which he often ties around his cock for comfort. Clit Cat (how does one get a clit that big?), built on a petite 5'2" chassis, a real knockout at 120 pounds. Clusterfuck (five military guys of indeterminate sexuality and standard equipment), of various height close to 6', and various trim athletic figures close to 185.2734 pounds. Buttman sees the angelic Bald Virgin (able to seduce but never produce), a rare blonde with an innocent face, 5'4" and a thin 120 pounds. Bad Ass (a reformed biker with a serious bisexual bent) sides of his head shaved with piercings enough to completely frustrate a TSA search, 6'4" and 200 pounds more. Buttman sees the Flaming Cuckold, flouncing in his pink panties, at 6'2" and 195 pounds just a bit too heavy to be flouncing. Then there is his wife Shameless Slut, a voluptuous goddess built on the standardized Racquel Welch / Jayne Mansfield boner approved chassis. No non-gay male could say no to her, and she always said yes to them. At 5'7" tall enough to dominate other women, yet with 36DD breasts and a trim 150 pounds, easily spankable. There were many, many others, all well known household names. Our leader, Beaver Splitter (6'1" 250 pounds, close relative of either George Clooney or Pierce Brosnan) takes the podium.

"We have been attacked, most likely by the Moral Minority. Their repression of sex in our society must come to an end! They are undoubtedly going to escalate criminal activities to try to sell the Immoral Majority on their prurient, self serving restrictions. No more Guilt! Use your crime fighting powers to cock block their crime wave and take them down, shorts and all! All the young women cum with me! The rest of you, deploy back to your neighborhoods and monitor your police scanners. Handle each call as if the future of our country depends on it! It does!" Beaver Splitter urges us, as he ushers the young women back to his chambers, no doubt seeking to discover and develop their crime fighting powers too. Reinforcements would be a good thing in a National crisis.

We are no sooner in the car, than we get a call "Domestic disturbance, 1423 Dorothy NE". "Step on it!" Cuntwoman cries out, as I floor the accelerator on the red Prius. We are only blocks away, and are the first responders.

"You take the wife. I'll isolate the husband." Cuntwoman says, the red hair around her tight pussy glistening with arousal. This is what we do. This is what we live for. She arches her back, thrusting out her breasts, as she moves toward the yelling husband. He is an average height latino, dark and swarthy, maybe 5'7", essentially the same height as my wife, 150 to 175 lbs, maybe a little heavier than she is, dressed in a wife beater undershirt and tighty-whitety briefs. My sexray vision detects he is only about average in endowment. Cuntwoman does not hesitate. She swipes a hand down into her sweet slit, then in a beautiful circular block inserts her fingers into his open mouth. He instantly stops yelling and starts putting his best Latin lover moves on my wife. She is prepared for him, yanking down his briefs, doing a sweep kick to take his legs out, midair pommel horse dismount, as she jams his now hard cock into her tight pussy. He is grunting and thrusting inside her before their knees even touch the carpet.

I turn my attention to his wife. Luxurious 36DD breasts that are deliciously bloopy, sexray vision confirms they haven't been touched in a week. I immediately execute two outer circular blocks over her arms, bringing my hands up inside, trapping her arms against my body as I fondle her nipples, rubbing them through her faded camisole and pinching them to get her attention. She does not stop yelling, and even gets louder as she sees her beloved Marcos fucking my wife right in front of her. Well, I tried to be nice. My hands pull down her sweatpants, as they glide over her luxurious well padded ass, her 5'4" 135 pound to 150 pound frame easily overpowered by my 5'11" 200 pound torso. But the "Arooh?" look on her face when my thumbs slide into her asshole is priceless. Quiet now, I use my thumbs to pick up my ass puppet, and drop her mouth on my 8" thick cock. My fingers enter her wet cunt as my index fingers tease her clit, while my thumbs make the ass puppet suck, just enough to get me fully hard. Sexray vision confirms her asshole was virgin until my thumbs arrived, and her cunt hasn't been filled in two weeks. Neglected Harpy Syndrome (NHS), we see it all the time. My duty is clear.

Flipping my thumbs, I spiral her into the air, end over end, timing the landing to have her soft butt bounce once on my legs as I sit on their couch, only for that same soft butt to bounce off my washboard abs and drop her sweet cunt onto my cock. She hasn't felt anything like that in a long time, and she starts grinding into me, as I finger her clit. She needs a good long ride, and I intend to give it to her.

Cuntwoman has telepathic powers when it comes to fucking, and switches Marcos into a nice slow 69. Good training to help relieve NHS, if she can only remember to give him the command to do it often while he is still under the effect of her pussy hypnoslime. Seeing her giving him the nice slow blowjob I myself crave reminds me to pay more attention to my wife's clit and less to her ass, as I gladly realize that might be the key to getting more of both.

Time for the main event. I start sliding fingers into her cunt along with my cock, then out to rub her rosebud, rubbing and lubing, rubbing and inserting, rubbing and fingering, rubbing and thrusting. Then in a quick motion as my hand holds her brown star open, I simply change holes, fucking her thoroughly as she moans. My fingertips return to her clit as I slowly pick up the pace to put the boots to her. I have the strangest feeling that I know this woman, because she looks so much like the porn star Yurizan Beltran, but that thought doesn't help me at all. My self control is gone, and I am wailing on her ass, forcing her to stand and bend over to grab their coffee table, as I smash my cock into her fluffy butt, over and over until it's over. Marcos is now standing, being sucked by my wife as she reaches climax the old fashioned way – with her own fingers. Marcos is spurting into her open mouth, and fuck me, that's hot, I so seldom get to see the come as she always wants it in her cunt because then it has to be licked out again. We have all come, and peace is restored.

We leave as the police arrive, the large black male officer shaking my tainted dick in thanks, his busty blonde partner giving my wife a lip lock and fingering that just goes on and on. I'm not in a hurry, but another call has come in. Blondie slips a business card into the spandex below my wife's tits then reluctantly pats her pussy and lets her go. "Thanks, we couldn't do it without you!", the cops say in unison as they kiss hotly. My sexray vision confirms they both play for both teams.

"Bank robbery, 2100 Eubank NE" - "Quick, call for reinforcements!" I yell to Cuntwoman, who is licking her fourth finger clit radio ring to get the right frequency, occasionally moaning as the clit ring focuses the energy to her own clit instead. It is a powerful weapon, one I can only trust in her hands. I've seen her take down a charging bull dyke at fifty paces with it – a weapon truly to be feared. But she is quick, and she is good, and her licking gets to the SJL emergency frequency "Calling for backup, bank robbery at 2100 Eubank, can anyone respond with us?"

"Lezwoman here, I'll be there lickety-split!" she calls out boldly.

"Clit Cat here, I'll be there to rub them out!" she calls out bravely.

We pull up to the old ornate Bank of Fuckville, noting that neither the police or FBI are here yet. Not surprising, we were only blocks away, and there are two donut shops nearby. With their big gas guzzler Tonka Truck Humvees, they probably had to stop for gas too. The perps will be long gone by then.

We line up in front of the bank, Cuntwoman with me, Clit Cat and Lezwoman at the other entrance. "1....2.....3....Go!" We enter the bank, removing our hats and sunglasses, placing them on the rack provided.

The delay gives our old Nemesis, Overtight Ass a crucial advantage. She and her gang of Prude Asses have the drop on us. They have dildo orgasm time dilation guns trained directly on each one of us. If you have orgasmed in the past month, time only runs at 10% for five minutes. If you have orgasmed in the past week, it runs at 5% for ten minutes. If you have orgasmed in the past day, time only runs at 1% for an hour. It was their preferred weapon of choice, because it smote the fornicators most mightily.

"So, Buttman we cross paths again. You are out manned and out dicked today. In fact I will go so far as to say you are fucked." Overtight Ass brags.

"Aren't you going to tell us all the details of your secret plan? So that we know we have no hope of defeating you?" I say with a shaky voice, fucking her plan in the ass with my words.

"That's true, you can't do anything about it. First we are going to elect Republicans to Congress, and the Senate, then the White House. We will repeal every contraception right and abortion right and privacy right, putting everyone at the mercy of their employers." she brags.

"You've already done that." I note.

"See, I told you you can't stop it. Then, we will steal all your money from you, by hedge fund scams, and bailout scams, and mortgage scams, and even little old bank robberies like this one. And we will takeover all the liberal businesses and raid your pension funds, and benefits funds, and even child care funds. Then we will pass harsh anti-drug laws to send you lawless fornicators to prison, while we pass the No Fuck No Work law. Employers will be the only people who can fuck you without going to jail. You will never fuck your sweet wife again." she threatens.

"You will never get away with it! We will rise up and stop you!" Cuntwoman yells.

"Fuck 'em boys!" Overtight Ass commands, and they spray the room, greasing everyone, starting with the superheroes and even the pimple faced teenager opening an account on the wrong day.

"See, we're not opposed to sex. Hell, my husband is only gay on weekends. We're just opposed to sex we don't control. You're going to be unable to do a fucking thing about it." she gloats as she crosses the room in a blur, sliding her hand deep into Cuntwoman's cunt, then shoves her hand in my mouth. She is a blur across the room as she does the same thing to Clit Cat, and Lezwoman. Finally, she doses Cuntwoman with her own hypnoslime, noting the ring on her finger.

"What do we have here?" She says as she pulls the ring off, and twiddles it around, causing the women in the room to all double over in intensely painful climaxes. 'No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o' I can hear my wife through her telepathic powers as she falls to the floor on all fours.

"You, Clit Cat, 69 with Lezwoman, Lezwoman, do the same with her. Both give it your best effort, Eh? Yes, I may be from Alaska, but I do speak Canadian sometimes. If either of you so much as thinks about interfering with our plans, you must do exactly this, 69 with each other for an hour, before you can do anything about it. You, Cuntwoman, you will rub your little clit to an extremely intense orgasm each time you even think about interfering with our plans, and any sexual contact will make them double in intensity. You also will do that for an hour. Buttman, Buttman, Buttman – didn't you realize I'm transgendered, and the clit ring has no effect on me? How I wish I still had my full equipment so that I could fuck that perfect ass off your sweet little wife! But I don't, so you are going to have to do it for me I guess. You will fuck your wife's tight ass HARD for an hour and a half, or any other female in arms reach, and will not climax until the very end. If you even think about interfering with our plans, you will be compelled to find her and fuck her ass hard for an hour and a half. Superheroes, get started." Overtight Ass commands.

She is again a blur around the room, giving hypnoslime and following it up with commands designed to make the bank an orgy of deviant fornicators. Fox News has the story "Superhero orgy leaves bank open to robbers" on the flat screen TV. There is nothing I can do but fuck my wife's perfect fucking ass, until the FBI arrives and puts us all to sleep with tranquilizer darts.

We are sent to the big hospital downtown, and they give us hypnoslime antidotes, then realize they have to give us another hypnotic to counter the commands. We lose a half a day. We are shaken, and my wife's ass is very sore.

When we finally get back to the Prius, Clit Cat and Lezwoman decide to crime fight on their own. We are downtown, and one of their favorite bars that caters to the tastes of women who wear sensible shoes is nearby.

"I feel so violated." Cuntwoman says.

"I'm sorry dear, but the commands..." Buttman says.

"Not that. You did what you were forced to do. No, I'm talking about having my pussy hypnoslime used for evil. Used to further their goals like some perverted chastity belt! Will I ever be able to get wet again, knowing that when I do, they can use it for evil purposes? Or am I supposed to deny everyone this most perfect of all cunts, and have them gain a dark victory over our souls that way? Oh, Buttman...." Cuntwoman sobs, as I hold her gently, knowing how deeply she has been violated.

"Disturbance at Gazongas Grande Mall." the police scanner blares.

"Back to work. Can you help me save the soul of our country?" Buttman asks Cuntwoman, as he lifts her chin with his finger gently.

"Yes. I think I can. Your being so gentle gives me hope we can still win." Cuntwoman replies softly, then says "Step on it! Get this Prius the fuck there!"

We peel off the freeway entrance, sliding down the back side of the mall, coming in the rear entrance, right by Hairy's food court. We don't see anything going on, but we are on the lower level. We head up the escalator to the brassiere shops on the upper level.

"There. Look! Over there!" Cuntwoman gasps and points.

I see Prick Tease, in all her 34G glory, 5'8", maybe 125 pounds, decked out in her finest Victoria's Secret lingerie, marching through the mall. Anyone who gets within twenty feet of her and has ever thought about doing anything to a pussy or tits is trapped in her bubble, but none can approach closer than an arms length. Their unrequited lust simply empowers her, making her seductive range even greater. Soon she will have the entire mall in her thrall.

"That isn't what is going on here." Cuntwoman says, pointing "Look!".

We see Black Bull, his twelve inch cock hanging limp as he strides towards the mall offices near the middle of the mall. He has Red Bull with him, slightly more energetic, wings tattooed on his back, his twelve inch thick cock also limp, his balls covered by his medicine bag. They are nothing if not bulky, products of the weight rooms in the prison system, sexray vision says they are as bi as the day is long. Both 6'4", 275 plus pounds of almost completely hard man meat.

"She is just a diversion. But how do we get past her?" Buttman agrees.

"I still have an orgasm grenade in my purse. If you could throw it into her twat, we could slip by her into the offices." Cuntwoman proposes.

"I don't know honey. I mean I like the plan, but I would have to skip it off the side of a planter like a stone on a lake, then underneath her lacy panties, and position it directly upon her clit. This sounds like a job for Cuntwoman to me." Buttman says encouragingly.

"You still trust me?" her eyes, welling with tears, as she kisses him gently.

"With all my heart. Fuck that pussy!" Buttman says gleefully.

Cuntwoman grabs the slender white orgasm grenade, arms it by twisting the nurled knob on the bottom, and as it softly hums she backflips off the upper deck to a planter on the lower deck, then does handsprings to close the distance quickly. Prick Tease and her mob have made it to the up escalators near the middle of the mall. Cuntwoman handsprings up the escalator rails, deftly tossing off the grenade so that it bounces on the rubbery escalator step, and right through the extremely gauzy panties up into Prick Tease's cunt with a loud 'squish'! Her mob enforcement powers broken, they are all ravenously upon the former Prick Tease, in what would become one of the longest group sex orgy's of the day. When it is over, she will have changed sides, to become Group Fuck, a three hole conversion, and Cuntwoman did it with a single finger shaped white orgasm grenade!

"Hurry, we have to get to the office!" Cuntwoman waves her arm to me. I achieve ass ramming speed in just two steps, as we turn the corner into the small hallway that leads to the mall offices.

What we see when we get there is a fearsome sight. Red Bull, his member fully erect, a beer can thick footlong American Indian cock is poised at the lips of the mall manager, who is sweating buckets. His beautiful blonde wife is bent over next to him, her black cocktail dress bunched around her hips, lacy Victoria's Secret VS-12 panties pulled down to her knees, which are spread as wide as the panties will let them. Black Bull is poised with his footlong beer can thick shaft at the entrance to her pussy. He has her firm 36C tits in the hard grasp of his big Black Bull hands, her 5'5" frame shaking, whether with fear or lust or both I can't tell.

Black Bull glowers "Sign the papers that give us ownership of the mall or I fuck your wife, HARD, right in front of you, then I will make you clean us. Slowly. With pictures."

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