Afterglow Pt. 05

Still, he beckoned with his finger. I came around the table and sat next to him. For a long time he just stared at me.

"I always knew you'd be all right."

I burst out laughing. "What are you talking about?"

He'd definitely had one too many beers, but he was still somewhat rational.

"You. My brave girl. You always go after you want. You're fearless."

"I'm afraid all the time."

"Hmm." Dad smiled. "Doesn't matter. You do things us simple folk don't even imagine doing. You told Roger to go fuck himself, essentially. You handled Fontaine like you were his age, his equal in experience. Do you know what a big deal that is?" I opened my mouth to say something but he went on. "And her?" He tilted his head in Olivia's direction. "You couldn't have made a better choice. I'm proud of you most of all because of that—because you weren't afraid, or too afraid, to be with who you wanted."

"Thanks, Dad." I didn't know what else to say.

He waved his hand as if he hadn't said one of the most important things he'd ever said to me. "You're lucky. I have no doubt you'll find a job soon."

"I have a job interview Monday afternoon."

Dad patted my back. "Good, good." He looked over at my mother and back at me. "Hey, do me a favor. When everything settles, don't stop checking in with us. It hurts your mother. She misses you. I miss you, too."

"I promise."

An hour or two later Olivia and I were putting our coats on. My mom kept flinging food at me to take home, which I loathed doing on the subway. Olivia graciously took it after a few minutes, giving me a dirty look.

The ride home took forever. It was beginning to get warmer outside, making the inside of the subway hot and uncomfortable. And extra smelly. I was so stuffed from dinner that the unpleasant and immediate stench of burnt trash nearly made me puke.

Finally we were in my apartment, fighting off licks from an affectionate Toronto. Olivia wordlessly handed me his leash and we went out for a walk, watching different people stroll pass. I peered into closed stores and opened restaurants. Another dog out for a walk barked at Toronto, trying to start a fight. My handsome sweetheart just kept on walking.

Mmm, it was good to be home. It was blissful peace and relaxation.

I thought over and over again how odd it was to be pleased by such a simple thing: a walk with my girlfriend and dog. Yet there was a warmth in my chest I held onto.

When we were back upstairs, we undressed in the bedroom with only the dim lamp illuminating us. Olivia shimmied out of her jeans. I unbuttoned my blouse.

Home.

"When is Rose getting released?"

I pushed my panties down. "Without any other complications, the end of his week."

Olivia nodded, pulling off her bra. "Good. Felicity must be going mad."

"Yes. She actually wants to go visit Dan. She says it's for closure but I doubt it."

Olivia looked up at me sharply. "Dear Lord, she'd bring a gun or something."

"I talked her out of it."

Olivia, now naked, spread herself across the bed. She watched me slip my bra off my shoulders. I reached for my lotion and rubbed it into my skin, partly because moisturizing was part of my nightly ritual and partly because I knew she loved to see me do it.

She patted the bed beside her. "Come."

I got on the bed and kissed her. She tasted faintly of chocolate cake.

When I pulled away, she ran a hand through my hair and pulled it over my shoulder. She gazed at my breasts for a long time before she teasingly reached out and moved her hands over them.

"I want you to move in with me," she said after a minute.

I looked up at her, trying to come out of the fog. "What?"

"I like your apartment better but it isn't conducive for working, so I'll have to keep my own space for that. So I suppose in a way I'm asking to move in with you."

After the first few minutes of shock, I gave it some thought. She practically lived with me now, as it was. And I'd learned so much. I learned that I loved an amazing person who magically loved me back. I knew that I witnessed, sadly through the misfortune of others, how important it was to stick with and by what you want. It would have been easy for Felicity to walk away when things got scary. But she stayed. The women made it through because of their love for the other, and they never let fear or second thoughts get in the way. And Olivia had stayed through everything, too. She loved me. I loved her. It really was a no-brainer.

"Okay," I whispered.

Olivia's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yes. If you can seriously handle giving away that brownstone."

Olivia laughed, bringing her arms around me to tug me close.

We had sex that night, but it was different from all the times before. I wouldn't say it was hotter, and I wouldn't say some cliché like the change was because we'd found peace and harmony. I personally felt it was sweeter and more precious because we were still learning one another's bodies, that we hadn't taken the recent events for granted and that the feelings we had for each other strengthened every time we gave a little piece of ourselves to the other.

I fell asleep before her. I was usually a deep sleeper but something roused me in the middle of the night. The lamp was on and Olivia wasn't beside me. Then I heard something, something like pencil on paper. I looked at the bottom of the bed and found Olivia there, sitting on a chair cross-legged while she sketched me.

She didn't react when I sat up. I wanted to ask her how long she'd been up drawing me, why she felt the need to do it at 3:30 in the morning, but there was a stillness in the room that made me silent.

I crawled to the edge of the bed. Delicately I reached for the sketchbook.

It was me, but not me. It couldn't really be. I never looked so tranquil and happy before. It made me look years younger. And she had me so graceful on paper, though that part had to be completely false. I knew for a fact I was a sprawling, drooling mess when I slept. And yet she painted me like this because she was looking through her own lens, and this was how she saw me.

I flushed. The corners of her mouth gently tipped up. She took the book back and went on drawing.

"What are you going to call it?" I asked, my voice scratchy and loud in contrast with the silence of the room. I laughed breathlessly when she didn't answer. "Afterglow Part Two?"

Olivia smiled but kept her eyes on the drawing. "No, honey. I haven't decided yet. For the moment, it's just 'Untitled'."

"I like that," I said a few minutes later. "It gives you more to work with. You don't know what you might want to add."

Olivia stared at me with sparkling eyes. "Exactly."

My eyes drank the sight of her in—her dark body beneath an overgrown white t-shirt, blue and lacy see-through panties, glittering dark eyes, glossy black hair hanging down her body.

"Come back to bed?"

She put down the sketchbook and climbed back in under the covers. Her arm wrapped around my body and her hand folded into mine.

And I thought: Home.