An Ordinary Bloke

"He must have been sure of himself." Mary said.

"He was. We'd already made the decision, but because this involved me moving back in with him we felt that we needed to discuss it with you guys before I moved back with him."

"You didn't need to go through all of this, I, we, would have supported any decision that you made, no matter how bad we thought that was."

"But you needed to know that this is the right decision for us."

"Okay, I can see that."

I got to meet Gordon. He was sort of half-way between Erica's age and mine. He was handsome, well dressed, but with a care-worn face that made him look older.

After the formalities of introductions were over and the discussions between Erica and Gordon had been dispensed with, the conversation circled around Mary's condition without touching on it. "Roland, can I have a word with you, in private?"

"Sure." I stood and followed him out into the back yard.

"How's Mary getting along?"

"Not well, she has her good days and her bad days, today hasn't been good. I don't know how long she has got but I fully intend to make them as easy and happy as possible. I have to do this because I love her very much."

"I can see that, and Erica has told me all about you, and how Mary has really been happy since meeting you. We can't thank you enough for bringing that back into her life. She was hurt badly by her husband, we were worried that she wouldn't get over it, especially that he had kicked her out at a very vulnerable time. I never had a lot of time for him, I tolerated him because he was Erica's father, but after the separation I've had little to do with him, even though he's my boss."

"Ouch! That must take some doing."

"I've been thinking about quitting and finding another job. In a more buoyant labour market I would have left ages ago, but there's little call for middle level managers these days, especially one who probably won't get a good reference."

"How is he towards you?"

"He tries to act as if he's done nothing wrong, but we both know that's not the way that I see it. If he thinks that I'm siding with Mary he can make it very hard for me, I try my best to remain neutral when it comes to family matters. Having said that, when Mary goes I'll not hesitate to tell him what I think of him, I don't want to start any family feud while she's still alive."

"Thank you for that. Now I think that we should be getting back so the girls won't start thinking that one of us has killed the other." Gordon smiled to Erica as we came back into the room, just to let her know that we were cool.

Erica and Gordon got their act together and he moved into Mary's house with her while renovations were being carried out on their house so that they could sell it. At least that was the story that they gave him for the move, and it wasn't really a lie as it turned out. Mary had always planned to leave the house to Erica, it was written in her Will. At least that will give him a bit of breathing space while he looked for a new job.

I had a real problem. I really didn't like seeing the love of my life slowly losing her battle with cancer. My first wife died suddenly, and while it was a shock, I think in hindsight it was preferable to a slow decline. My other problem was that it was getting more and more difficult maintaining a positive outlook on life. I was giving it my best shot, When she was able to get around I took her out of the house. We went on day trips, trying as far as possible to avoid crowds of people. I took her to the supermarket and decided to avoid Janie's checkout, but that didn't work. She had seen us and made sure that we didn't go to another checkout. "Hi Mary, how is our man treating you?" She asked in her usual bright manner. "If he's not looking after you properly you just let me know and I'll give him a good talking to."

"No he's fine, better than fine, he's great, I couldn't ask for a better man, I just wish that he was fifty years younger so that you could take him off my hands, he's loving me to death."

"I'll stop loving you if it's killing you."

"Don't you dare." Janie said. "She needs your love now more than ever. Anyway, don't get your hopes up, I have no plans to fall for an old fart like you."

"How to hurt a guy, I'll just go away and sulk while you two crucify what little respect I have left."

I paid for our groceries and wheeled the trolley with Mary leaning against me, and holding the handle. I looked back, Janie wasn't smiling today. We made our way slowly to the car park and home. I unpacked the groceries while Mary had a lie down in our darkened bedroom. At around 5:00 I made her a simple meal and took it in to her.

"I don't feel like eating." Her quiet voice greeted me as I entered the room.

"But you have to eat something to keep your strength up. Here, I'll feed you." I sat on the bed and spoon-fed her the mashed vegetables. She struggled to keep it down, but managed to eat some. I placed the tray on the floor and lay beside her, holding her frail body in my arms.

"Mmmm, that feels nice, hold me please." She drifted off towards sleep, her breathing becoming disturbingly shallow. When she was fully asleep I slipped out of the room and called her doctor. He came straight away and his diagnosis wasn't good.

"I'm afraid that she should be in hospital, I'll call for an ambulance."

While he was doing that I called Erica to let her know the latest. "Hi Erica, it's Roland. I've just had the doctor here and he wants your Mum in hospital straight away. We're leaving as soon as the ambulance gets here."

"Thank you for calling Roland, I'll meet you there, don't let her die until I get there."

"I'll try not to, I'll see you soon." The ambulance arrived and she was lifted onto a gurney and wheeled out to the waiting vehicle. There was a group of neighbours that had been attracted by the ambulance's flashing lights, there were tears among the watchers as she was loaded into the back of the ambulance. I climbed in after her and sat by her, holding her hand and kissing her. Not good-bye kisses, but I love you kisses.

The walk down the hospital corridor from the Emergency entrance to the Intensive Care Ward was the longest that I have ever taken, with each step another part of my life disappeared behind me. There wasn't a lot left when she was lifted onto bed and hooked up to the monitors. Erica arrived minutes after we had and was standing beside the bed. Mary smiled a welcome to her. I sat in a chair beside the bed, after smiling at Erica, she turned her attention to me.

Mary held my hand gently, the strength had gone from her body now, and she was preparing for the end. "Darling man," Her voice struggling to reached me, even though my face was next to hers. "You have told me many times that you are an ordinary bloke. Let me tell you that you're not. You are an extra-ordinary bloke, and I've known that, even before I bumped into you, deliberately by the way. I saw you in the supermarket before that day. I saw the way that you interacted with Janie at the checkout, and the way that she smiled to herself as she watched you walk away. You made an impact on her, I know that it was only a little thing, but little things mean a lot. You were not just another customer passing briefly through her life.

"You made her feel that life had a purpose, just as you made me feel that I had some life left in me. . . . . You made me the happiest woman in the world for a short time, by simply doing the little things. You gave me true love for a short time, and for that I cannot thank you enough. Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end, and my time with you has come to an end. . . . . I hate to leave you like this, and you have to promise me that you'll look after yourself when I've gone, don't cut yourself off from the world again. . . . . . . I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone, but then I don't have any choice in this matter. . . . . . I know that you'll be sad. . . . . . Please don't hate me for this, please." The effort to get the words out had taken a heavy toll on her remaining strength. She closed her eyes, but the monitor told me that she was still with me.

"Mary, my love. I will never hate you, but I have a confession to make, I have been a very naughty boy. I have kept something from you." Her eyes opened. "I have not told you about the result of my last medical. I will not be apart from you for very long. I will not have to bear the pain of loneliness for very long, six months tops, that's how long I have been given. I have avoided the doctors, even though I knew in my heart that what I had was terminal, But you were so happy just being with me that I couldn't bring myself to cloud that happiness with my bad news. I knew that the mole that I had on my back was a bad one, that the melanoma was well advanced, and that it was too late to operate. It had reached the lymphatic system and was in my lungs, It is only a matter of time now, you won't have time to mss me. So my beautiful Darling, do not feel sad about leaving me, remember me and the good times that we had together."

She smiled at those memories. "I am pleased that you won't suffer for long."

"Let me hold you one last time, let me kiss you one last time. This is not forever, I will be with you sooner than you realise." I bent to her, I pulled her to me in a gentle hug, kissed her smiling lips, and as I held my lips to hers I heard the monitor in the background flat-line. I held her for a moment longer before standing up, my head bowed, saying a silent good-bye to the woman who had given me so much happiness over the past four months.

The doctors and nurses came in quickly in response to the monitor. I looked at them as they were about to resuscitate. "Please, no, she has gone. Even if you could bring her back she will not have a good life."

Erica had been standing not far away and heard our final words to each other. She came and stood beside me. "Thank you for that." She took my hand in hers. "She would not have wanted to prolong this any longer." She turned to me and hugged me. "You made Mum happy, happier than I have ever seen her, and you made her happy to the very end. Why didn't you tell her about the melanoma before this, she would have understood, she would have . . ." She looked at me. "You don't have a melanoma, do you? You aren't about to die anytime soon are you? You told Mum that so that she didn't feel bad about dying on you, didn't you?"

I slowly, silently, and tearfully nodded my head. "I didn't want her dying sad." I whispered.

"Mum was right, you are an extra-ordinary bloke."