Aunt Karen

"God, you're so hot against my hand. Your cock has to be ten degrees hotter than the rest of you. It's very sexy."

"Jesus."

"I'm not the religious one. Your Aunt Lorna is ... but she did all of this right along with us. She probably says a dozen Hail Mary's every night thinking about it. I'll bet you wanted her, too, didn't you?" She had shifted around to face me, changing hands, and was standing on one leg, the other kneeling on the curved plastic of the seat. She leaned in, whispering.

"I'm going to kiss you now, and from your breathing, I can tell you are going to come when I do that. I want you to."

She was right and as her face neared mine, just a black oval against the sky, I could feel the build up that signaled I was going to come, soon. I gasped and as our lips touched, I reacted in a way I hadn't expected at all. I pushed her off of me into the center of the hot tub, probably more roughly than I should have. She went under for a second then popped back up, spitting and snorting, with her hair matted down onto her head like a helmet.

"For fuck's sake, it's just a hand job!", she spluttered once she was able to.

"I can't ... do this." I clambered back up onto the edge of the hot tub and doing my best to cover myself with my hands, I reached for my clothes. When I had gathered them, I climbed out fully, my cock jutting out and bouncing with each step.

As I got to the patio door, she called to me, exasperation in her voice.

"Fine! You can use Keith's room. There's towels in the closet at the end of that hall. Mop up any water you spill on my hardwood floor."

As I slid the door closed, I looked out, and she stood there, staring at me, nothing but a shadow. While I watched, she slid back down into the tub and turned to the ocean.

---

Keith's room was a pretty typical college aged boy's room. There were some kid things he had kept, like the glow in the dark stars on the roof, but mostly it was just dark and enclosed. I suspected he was a Goth or an Emo kid. His computer was ancient, an old beige Mac, and I laughed that it still had a floppy drive. I hadn't seen one of those in ages. It sat on a dark, little desk that was clearly a kid's desk. Keith was huge, like his father, so the mental image of him pecking away on that computer, at that desk, was pretty comical.

I was thinking of these things, on purpose, because I didn't really want to think of what had happened. My world view had just been rocked, and what was so mind-fucking about it was that it had been done so nonchalantly by my Aunt. She wasn't kidding when she said this was normal for her. It made me question what the fuck normal meant in this house. Mom, my Uncle Mike, Aunt Lorna, Aunt Karen, all the cousins ... good Christ, the whole damn family fucking and sucking away in that cabin. I could see her point about proximity and the age, but I vacillated in my head between understanding and blaming them, back and forth like a pendulum. Millions of other kids are raised in similar situations without this happening. What went wrong with us? Were the parents involved with the kids? Did they know and just let it happen? Were they that drunk that they were completely oblivious?

The biggest question was this, though: what the fuck was she thinking? I hadn't seen her in a decade except for the odd phone call and all of those had been just chit-chatty calls. Just a nephew and his aunt catching up. To go from that dynamic to jerking me off in a hot tub in only a couple of hours was just astounding.

She was good looking, but I'd never once thought about her that way. Well, no more than normal, at any rate. Guys fantasize about everything at one time or another, so she slipped in on occasion, for sure, but nothing out of the ordinary. She had to be doing it for shock value. That's the only thing I could think of.

While I mused, I could hear a gentle tap on the door. I could see feet silhouetted under the door and I was of half a mind to just pretend to be asleep. As it was, I turned my back and half-mouthed a word. I'm not even sure what I really said.

Aunt Karen opened the door and the room got suddenly brighter. I could see Keith's bookshelf and I tried to focus on the titles. Molecular biology, Harper, 7th edition. Physiology. Plato's Republic. I could hear her stepping lightly over the rug toward the bed and then, eventually, I felt her weight settle on the bed behind me.

"Duncan, I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

"I'll try my best to explain, so you can just sit there. You don't need to say anything. First off, it only happened a couple of times. I know I implied it was happening all the time, but it really didn't. We fooled around a bit, the odd time, but nothing serious. Secondly, it never happened between the adults and the kids, just a couple of cousins and us. Thirdly, it doesn't happen in this house, which is probably the first question you thought about. Chloe and Keith don't know, so of course I'd like you to keep it to yourself.

Jim knew and he got pretty angry about it and wanted to charge the cousin I fooled around with. That's why he stopped coming to the family reunions; he thought he was going to take my cousin's head of once he had a couple of drinks in him. I don't think I ever really convinced him that I was a willing partner. I was only 14 and to him, that means naive, innocent girl. If he only knew what Chloe was up to by 14, he'd shit."

I hadn't noticed him missing from the reunions, maybe because I hadn't been invited to the reunions. It stung, but I understood. No one likes a drag.

"Anyway, I know I came on a pretty strong, but Jim just walked out a couple of weeks ago ...".

She trailed off into silence. I sat and waited.

"You ever feel ... old?", she continued, sounding distant.

"Not yet, no, but I'm sure I will."

"I do, all the time. I see it around my eyes, on my tits, in my ass. Even my skin feels different, like it's thinning into rice paper. I keep imagining that it will get so thin I'll be able to see my muscles and veins. I think, sometimes, that's why Jim left, because he could see right through me."

"If it makes you feel any better, I think Sara left because she found out I was empty. It's kind of the same thing."

"Maybe this is how all jilted people feel?"

"Maybe. Maybe there's just nothing more to people than this. We're all invisible in reality. We just throw clothes on so everyone can see us and we hope they don't look any further than the surface."

She paused for a bit, then said, "You really have grown up."

"Thanks, I guess."

"And here I am revisiting a past most families would be ashamed to admit. I'm supposed to be the wiser one."

She got up and I could hear her pad her way back to the door. Her shadow was long, rising up into the wall to the dark of the ceiling. I rolled over and looked. She was wearing a t-shirt, threadbare, and the light from the hallway was silhouetting her body in it. It was quite large, so it was probably Jim's. I could see the curve of her hips, her breasts and the tip of one nipple as she turned back in.

"Aunt Karen, I want you to know that it's not because I don't find you attractive."

"Yeah, so you say. Fuck, you're thirty, in the prime of your life, probably swimming in hormones, and even you don't want me."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

She closed the door without saying goodnight and I felt terrible for her. Living in a house three times the size of our old family home, with probably a couple of million in the bank, her kids all grown up and out of the way - she would be prime dating material for guys her age. Hell, for guys MY age. And yet, she was the most miserable person I knew.

Even more miserable than I was.

---

The next day she left for work early, so I humped around the house for a bit, played the piano (which was a beautiful baby grand), watched some TV and then hit the deck with a six pack to watch the gulls. It was a misty day, threatening to move to rain, so I was pretty wet after only a half an hour or so. I liked it, though, and it was warm, so I stayed out as long as I could. By late afternoon, it had dropped a bit in temperature, so I popped back into the hot tub, this time with the heater on, and just rode out the afternoon dozing and listening to the ocean sounds. I hadn't actually just sat like that, with no agenda and no plan, since I started working. Having no future was kind of freeing, in a way.

I was still there when Karen came home and I could hear her calling me through the house. She realized I was out on the deck and came out to stand above me, staring out into the ocean. She had black jeans on and a black leather jacket left open. It had enough buckles that I thought it must be a motorcycle jacket, but I couldn't be sure. Underneath the jacket she had on a black turtleneck. With her pale skin and black hair, she looked terrific.

"So, back at the scene of the crime, huh?", she said, not looking down.

"Yep. It's not so bad by the light of the day. The heater kicks ass. It could rain and I'd be perfectly fine."

She glanced down. "Fuck, you're naked."

"And somewhat drunk. In my defense, I didn't plan on still being out here when you got home. I kinda got sleepy."

"Jesus, you like playing with fire, don't you?", she laughed.

"I'm feeling the freedom. No job, giant house, full sized commercial fridge full of food, an exceedingly well stocked liquor cabinet. I could live for months like this before it all ran out."

"You can if you want. It's not like you'd break me."

"I'd have to go home, eventually."

She looked at me oddly, then, and it made me kind of uncomfortable. Even under the foam of the tub, I felt exposed.

"Why?", she said, in a matter of fact tone, and turned to go inside.

---

We ate at the counter, just some whipped up veggie burgers, and skipped off to check out the Underground. It took us a while to get to Pioneer Square, fighting all the traffic leaving the downtown, but Seattle has some pretty good radio stations and we sang along to a bunch of 80s tunes to keep us occupied.

The Underground was off the interstate, which kind of threw me for a loop because I had expected it to be the center of the city, but I guess cities grow and move over time. It probably was the center at one point, just not now. When we got there and clambered down to where the official tour starts, I noticed no one was around at all, which seemed odd. The article had mentioned it was a pretty big tourist attraction for the city, now, and the old ruins had been actually renovated as a result.

My aunt led me in by the hand, my eyes still adjusting to the darkness, and started to do her version of the official tour, walking me through the saloon, then the various shop fronts of street and then finally to the gift shop, which was closed. There wasn't a soul in the entire place. I'd love to go on about the buildings, which were amazing, but again, this isn't a tourist story, it's a sex story.

Which is where we'll end up. At the gift shop, we turned to go back to the entrance when we heard someone off in the distance. We'd left the door open and someone else had followed us in, inadvertently. They were calling for the tour guide. My aunt pulled me down and whispered into my ear that she pulled some strings during the day to get us access alone and giggled. From their accents, the people were Germans or Dutch and they were clearly afraid to come in, though to their credit, they inched forward tentatively, working their way along the street and calling out in accented English.

My aunt grabbed me roughly and dragged me into this little nook of an alley by the gift shop, not much wider that a closet and dark as pitch. She pushed me against the wall of the building and leaned into me. I could feel her breasts against my stomach and her head against my chest. Again, she pulled down my head to her level, which was actually kind of painful. She whispered harshly in my ear.

"This is one of the alleys where they would service their clients. Five feet from the street, with people walking right on by. Just that little hitch at that corner hid them from view. The men would hie up under their dresses and drape it around them like a sort of curtain. Some of the women would do a dozen in an hour if they were pretty. I'll bet it stank like sex in here all day long. Sometimes, they'd even share the space if it was busy. Can you imagine four people in here?"

I honestly couldn't, but when I tried to tell her that, Karen shushed me and put a hand over my mouth and we both listened. The Germans, surprisingly, hadn't left. The husband was still calling and the wife was dutifully trudging alongside him. You could hear both their sets of feet on the stone. They were about halfway down the street, coming toward us.

As she leaned on me, I started to feel her body heat and her breathing, each breath arching her breasts into my stomach, nearly at my belt line. Her hair was up under my chin and I could smell her shampoo. Almost reflexively, I slipped my hand in under her jacket, sliding it along her side to her back. Because she was so short, I brushed her breast on the way through ever so slightly, and I could hear her breathing change. Instantly, I was hard and she noticed it immediately. It's hard not to when it is damn near staring you in the face. I rubbed her back with my right hand, pulling her to me slightly. I could hear her moan and a looked down to see her staring up at me, hungrily, her eyes wide. Her hand dropped from my mouth, slowly. For some reason, I just wanted to kiss her, to take her frigging breath away, so I leaned down and did it. Her mouth was tiny and hot and as we kissed, I could feel her hand on me through my jeans, squeezing.

When I felt her tongue, it was my time to moan, and I cupped her breast with my free left hand. She started to work at my zipper with both hands and after a flurry of activity, she had my cock out of my jeans and in her mouth, silently sucking at the tip while she worked the bottom with her hand. I leaned back against the way and looked up, loving every second. Her tiny tongue darted here and there, into the hole, around the edge of the tip and with each change of direction, I thrilled. I was so excited, I had to work to keep from coming.

And through it all, those damn Germans kept on coming. Maybe they heard us, maybe they were just stubborn, but they kept on walking and calling as they came. I took my Aunt's head and pulled her off of me, squatting down so that my legs were on either side of hers. I worked her shoes off and then wriggled her jeans down and ultimately off. Her turtleneck hung low past her waist and it was dark as hell, anyway, so I couldn't see anything, but I slid my hand up her thigh until I found heat and wet and slid a couple of fingers in. Unlike girls my age, she didn't shave, and I loved the feel of her bush on my palm as I slid my fingers into and out of her, rocking against her pubis. She had her arms around my neck and her face buried there, gasping into my ear, and was driving herself onto my fingers.

As the Germans neared, I picked her wholly off the ground, swiveled around, and pinned her against the wall. Inch by inch, stroke by stroke, I lowered her onto my cock. Like I said, she's a tiny woman and I could tell it hurt her some, so I took it slow. By the time the Germans hit the gift stand, I was in her to the hilt and we were back kissing to keep ourselves from making noise. We whimpered and moaned into each other's mouths, rocking against each other. As the shadows of the tourists from the tiny pot lights began to be visible, I could feel her legs clench against my lower back and she began to come. I did my best to keep her quiet, but in a second, I was coming, too, and everything just swam together. I damn near buckled and dropped us both, but I pushed against the wall with my hips and kept us up.

As we sat in the alley, the twinges of our orgasms ticking down in intensity, the shadows turned and fled, a more rapid ticking of their feet echoing down the street on the stones.

When the looks on our faces told each other it was safe, we burst into laughter.

---

On the ride home on the interstate, I kind of clammed up. I stared out the window and just listened to the music and watched the city roll by. It was a nice night. The mist had cleared and you could see all the buildings of the skyline pretty clearly. Traffic was lighter, now, and the city was winking with a thousand lights. I imagined it as a miniature of the milky way, rife with stars.

"I think I know what you meant about Sara."

"Huh?"

"You haven't said a word since we left. If that's how you were after you guys had sex, I can see why she got a little concerned."

I turned to look at her. "That's not my intention. I'm just thinking, is all and when I do, my thoughts kind of drift around a bit. I have a whole world in my head that no one knows about."

"That's my next doc: Inside Duncan's Head, a Voyage into the Damned!" When she said it, she laughed, and that laughter sounded like music. She was happy.

We drove like that for a bit more and then she said it. I could stay, if I wanted to. It wouldn't be a bother and I could take my time getting a job. In fact, I wouldn't even need to, really.

I looked out the window again and thought for a bit. Far away, a ship hooted its horn and I loved the sound. Seattle really is a nice city, when you get right down to it.