Backside Debate - A Fart Story

When myself and Emily need a swift resolution to conflicting desires, we default to a thumb war or 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'...

When we have the time and energy, we wrestle. The first to hold the other down for 10 seconds gets to have the final say in whatever decision needs to be made.

Today's Agenda: Deciding which takeaway to order tonight.

I wasn't in a good position. Emily was on top of me with her hips over my stomach. Her legs stretched around my torso and around the back of my head, propping me up slightly to face her.

"4... 5..."

She counted slowly and fairly, something we always tried to do. We'd never race to get to 10 - It had to be a genuine 10 seconds.

"6... 7..."

I fought against her weight, trying to push her off and free myself. The position of her legs made this difficult - They acted as a lock. As I forced my torso up off the floor slightly, I felt Emily's core tighten as she pushed me back to the ground. I felt a gentle rumble spread across my stomach.

bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Emily stopped counting. The vibration continued for a few seconds, the strongest part of the force being at the centre of where Emily's butt pressed against me. It felt warm as it continued to squeeze through the denim of her jeans, beyond the fabric of my top, and onto my skin.

"Oops" - She smiled slightly as she held her stomach.

"Did you just..."

This was my first time hearing Emily fart. She isn't shy or awkward about it - Quite the opposite. She will always tell me when she needs to fart, or just wait until I smell it. But they are always silent. Even when she tries to make them loud for a joke, they just come out as a whispering hiss.

She giggled. Trying to speak only made her laughter worse. "I -- It was -- didn't mean to --" The words were lost between her chortling and gasps for air. More small rumbles escaped her backside and spread across my stomach, to the same pattern as her laughter. Each one only making the situation more hilarious, causing more laughter, causing more farts. It was an endless cycle.

I took this opportunity for my own advantage - I got free from under her as she keeled over to the side, falling to the floor.

This finally stopped her laughing. "Hey! Not fair - I was on top for longer than 10 seconds!"

"That's not the full rules," I spoke, climbing on top of her, my ass to her chest whilst I was facing her legs, "we have to actually count the whole time! 1... 2..."

I felt a familiar bubble of gas make its way down. Sure, this was about winning the fight, but it'd be nice to get revenge, too. I slowed my counting down, to allow time for the bubble to be released. All the while, I continued trying to keep Emily below me as she struggled.

"Thhhh...rrrrr....eeee........... Ffff...oouu..rrr........"

I grunted ever-so-slightly, trying to force the fart out. I tried to keep my grunt silent, but Emily heard.

"Oh FUCK no, your ass is right near my face,"

Before she got a chance to say another word, I felt the gas sputtering out of me in waves.

pppp-RrrRRRTtttttt... Brr brrr brr... prrrrrRRRRRaaappppp

That always happens when I try to force out a fart before it's entirely ready - It stops and starts again multiple times, often louder than usual. This particular one lasted about 10 seconds from start to finish, if you count the gaps of silence between.

"THAT REEKS," Emily screamed whilst laughing, "GET THE FUCK OFF!"

I had forgotten to carry on counting - Something I only realised as she managed to free herself and push me to the ground.

"That's it, you're getting it now," she spoke with such a determination in her eyes.

After a minute or so of struggling and constantly switching positions, Emily finally got enough strength to get me back to the floor. This time, her ass right in my face.

I was about to speak - I'm not sure what, I couldn't quite find the words before a wave of gas released directly onto my face.

ffffffff-ppppppTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr

It began silent, before suddenly becoming bassy, and eventually trailing into a high-pitch note of sorts. The smell was disgusting - Like a tangy, sour stench. I could feel the warmth of the air as I breathed it in, almost being able to taste it. I gagged a little.

"Tough down there? 1... 2... 3..." Emily finally started counting. I had already endured a lot, but I couldn't last 7 more seconds in that odour.

I managed to wriggle up. I was very much still in the losing position, but her butt now rested on my chest.

"4... 5..."

It was useless. I couldn't free myself any further. Suddenly, her counting slowed a little, as her voice got more raspy.

"Ffff...ooUUUURR... FIIIIIVE..."

I could feel her legs tightening around me. Was she really about to release more? How did she even have any left in her?

She continued to push, leaning just slightly to one side, allowing the gas to release.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

15 seconds of an ear shattering fart released directly onto my chest - The vibrations seemed to perpetrate down my body to my stomach, and up to my neck.

In a last-minute retaliation, feeling more gas forming in my belly, I managed to bring my legs upwards. I couldn't get her off of me, but I could vaguely point my backside upwards, and, with a gentle push --

fffffffffffffffffffffffffff

A long, airy fart hissed out of me.

"6... 7..." - She stopped counting as the smell hit her. "Jesus Christ, was that me?" She put her hand over her mouth and nose, slightly freeing me.

"Nope! It was me," I was quite proud, actually. Whilst her hand was off of me, I managed to escape once more.

I now stood as Emily sat on the floor. Without wasting a second, feeling more pressure building up, I pushed my ass back into Emily's face. I didn't even bother pinning her down. I bent down ever-so-slightly, to allow my ass to be level with her nose.

brrrap

A gentle buzz exited my butt. Emily tried to push more out, too, with a loud grunt.

"Fuck I can't get any more out."

Others may have taken this as a truce. But not me.

bbbbbbrrrrrrapppp

I let more out, still directly onto her face. By now, I was pinning her down again.

"1... 2... 3..."

I started to relax my backside, causing a small fart to escape between each number.

"4... ppt 5... brapp 6... fff"

Emily seemed to just accept defeat.

"7... bbbrrrrr 8... ppppppprrrrrttt 9... BBRrrrrppp"

I pushed hard.

BBBBRrrrrrppPPPPPPPPPPptttttttt

"... 10..."

I stood up, Emily looking defeated.

"Jesus Christ", she spoke, "that was disgusting, but I just didn't have the energy to fight it... You win."

She smiled as I helped her up.

"Wait..." A puzzled look came over me, "What was this about, again?"

She laughed. "After all that I can't even remember."

As we got up and stretched, the stench in the air still lingered, although certainly less pungent. Emily proposed, "Maybe next time we should just flip a coin..."

"We could," I started, "but where's the fun in that?"