Beth and Mike

As I held my wife's pale delicate hand, she slowly opened her eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"How ya feelin' babe?" I asked

Beth's body was gaunt and terribly thin; her beautiful brown hair a memory. Although she endured the second round of chemotherapy with stoic courage, the oncologist was doubtful that it would have any effect on the rapidly advancing cancer. Today was her final treatment.

"Ok," she croaked in a hoarse whisper.

Clasping her cold hand, I held it against my cheek as a flood of emotion tore through me and the tears inundated my eyes. For months I tried to be strong but the thought of losing her...

"I'm taking you home tomorrow." My voice shaky, full of trepidation.

Beth nodded her head, her eyes half-lidded and heavy. Hospice would help with her journey to...I banished the thought from my mind.

I gently stroked Beth's bald head reassuringly and as her hand tightened around mine, I started bawling. I couldn't hold it in because she'd fought so valiantly.

Beth gazed at me with sad eyes, eyes accepting of her fate. Before the second phase of chemo, she talked fearlessly about her chances for survival and what the future might hold for us. Without her in my life and our daughter's...the thought terrified me.

"God granted us nineteen wonderful years together...try and find some peace in that...the last thing I want is to leave you and Olivia...as long as there is breath in my body, I'll never stop fighting my love..."

Beth's soothing words were like a balm to my suffering spirit and enveloped in her loving embrace I found some comfort from the awful reality of the situation.

But, my wife's visibly declining health took a toll on me and my optimism waned long before hers. Many a night she held me as I cried my heart out, distraught over the prospect of her absence.

Nineteen years...it went by so quickly. I recalled the tragic day Beth found the lump. We were late for work when she called me into the bathroom. She was standing wet haired and naked on the bath mat having just exited the shower. The sight of her gorgeous body never failed to stir my loins but she had a deadly serious look on her face.

The biopsy report contained the worst news but my wife always faced her challenges head on. With the removal of the cancer and subsequent positive effect of the chemo, she went into remission.

As Beth's physical condition improved, she intimated to me almost on a daily basis that she desperately wanted to have a child. Her doctor saw no reason why she couldn't but warned of the risks a pregnancy posed to a re-emergence of the disease.

In spite of the danger, my wife was determined to have a baby and when Beth put her mind to something, there was no turning back.

"Please babe...I want to so much..." I couldn't possibly refuse her.

The birth of our daughter was a joyous event and for six glorious years we were a happy, contented family. We crammed a lot of living into that short time as the uncertainty of the future weighed heavily on our minds.

A few days after Olivia's birthday, Beth complained of feeling sick and we soon learned that the cancer had returned. Far more aggressive and life threatening, her struggle reached the critical phase. With a cure or hope for remission fading fast, she grew more ill and weaker on a daily basis.

Now, it was a matter of time. Time...so precious little is granted to us.

In the quiet hours after midnight, I would lay in bed wide awake, my brain a jumble of dread and fear over Beth's declining health. How much time did she have left? No one could tell us; weeks? Maybe months but nothing was certain.

To ease my anxiety, I would recall my earliest memories of Beth. How we met. How we came together. Never in my wildest imagination did I expect to fall so madly in love with someone.

You see, I always considered myself the "Average Joe" type of guy. An average student who worked hard to get good grades, an average athlete who struggled to make the team, average looks and body, competent at dating but by no means a ladies man.

Beth was far from average; superior might be a better adjective. She excelled at most everything she attempted and often made it look easy. Model pretty with a smokin' hot body, she could have the pick of the litter of guys to date at college.

Why me? I guess it's truly one of those mysteries of life questions that are unfathomable.

What I do know with any kind of certainty is that she loved me with all her heart. Ours was a love that endured and grew stronger with the passing years.

I can vividly remember the day our casual friendship took a sharp turn. I'm much younger, a sophomore in college, standing in the coach's office...

****

"You need to concentrate on your upper body strength and stamina or...you...don't have much of a chance of making the team," coach said apologetically.

Recovering from a serious bout of mononucleosis, pre-season tryouts were disaster for me. Out-muscled by smaller more inexperienced players, I stood out like a sore thumb on the practice field.

Near despair, I walked dejectedly to Carrie's dorm room. Close friends since high school, I thought of her as my surrogate sister. When I entered the room, I noticed Beth lying on her side with her chin propped up reading a book. Carrie's roommate since freshman year, she was one of the hottest girls on campus, in my humble opinion.

In a despondent voice, I related my conversation with Coach Simmons.

"...with only six weeks till official team trials...it's not lookin' too good for me..."

"Maybe it's not as bad as you think..." Carrie said supportively.

"Nah, I'm not exaggerating...I'm in deep shi...I mean doo doo."

Beth sat up on her bed as I was telling my tale of woe and seemed to be paying close attention. I was staring into space with what I'm sure was a lost expression when I heard her clear confident voice.

"You need a trainer...someone to motivate you...with a structured plan."

Of course Beth was correct in her assessment but most on-campus trainers were far too pricey for my wallet.

"That would be great but I can't afford to pay for..." I stated gloomily and my voice trailed off.

There was a long pregnant pause before I heard Beth's upbeat voice,

"I'll do it and won't cost you a penny."

I gawked at Beth in disbelief. The girl who made my heart go pitter-patter whenever I was around her was making me an unbeatable offer.

"You'd train...me?

"Sure Mike! I like a good project to keep me busy. Anyway, you need my help."

As I gaped at Beth's lovely smiling visage, it took me a few moments to compose myself and respond.

"Yeah, that's great! Thanks Beth!" I gushed like a schoolboy.

"We'll start tomorrow at five am sharp, ok?"

"Ok...hey! Wait a minute, did you say five am?" I asked cautiously.

Carrie was smirking at me because she was cognizant of the fact that I had a huge crush on Beth but was too intimidated to ask her out.

Beth possessed a lean and highly defined muscular physique that radiated power but also looked incredibly feminine. In many ways, she resembled the woman in the BowFlex commercial that airs on TV, only younger and with long dark brunette hair. Very pretty and hardbodied, she could easily pass for a fitness model.

But, Beth was much more than a great body; she exuded a quiet self-confidence and intelligence that that outwardly could be misconstrued as aloofness. As I got to know her during freshman year, I realized that she was the kind of girl who was comfortable in her own skin, who knew where she was going in life, what her goals were and how she could achieve them.

I met Beth the following morning for our five mile run with a good case of "butterflies" in my stomach. Not since last spring had I covered that distance and in my weakened state...

"Hey, I see you made it," she chuckled.

"I wouldn't miss it..." before I finished, she took off.

Beth maintained a leisurely pace for the first mile but gradually increased the speed and I lagged behind. Only ten feet or so off the pace, I found the sight of her compact butt inspiring. However, my motivation only lasted for another mile or so and I was falling farther and farther...

We were near the midway point when Beth turned and jogged back to me. Wheezing like an emphysema patient, my sides hurt terribly and I stopped abruptly with my hands on my knees.

"Sorry Beth...I...just can't...go on..."

"No problem, meet me in the undergrad gym."

When I found the strength, I walked the rest of the way. To my amazement, Beth was doing chin-ups on the overhead bar with ease. Still looking fresh as a daisy, she dropped to the mat and explained the routine that she believed would give me the most benefit in the shortest amount of time.

"Ok! Let's get started!" she stated cheerfully.

Among our circle of friends, Beth was regarded as a fitness guru. After a serious knee injury ended her college volleyball career, she became a campus gym rat and devoted a couple of hours a day to exercise. Good Lord Almighty, the results of all her hard work were evident on her exquisite frame.

With a good deal of patience, Beth guided me through a heart stopping workout. By the end, I was gasping for air.

"Mike? You ok?" she asked, and placed her hand on my back.

"Yeah...just tryin'...to get...my wind..."

I was deeply touched by the look of concern on Beth's lovely face and carried that image of her with me for the rest of the day.

My crush soon developed into a serious case of puppy love. The only time I didn't train was on the weekends and I thought of every excuse under the sun to visit Carrie, hoping Beth would be there.

"You've got it bad...don't cha?" Carrie asked with a sympathetic air.

Seated across from Carrie on Beth's bed with a hangdog look on my face, I was pining for the girl that the lit the fires of desire inside me. It was Saturday evening and Beth was out on a date.

"Yeah...I really do..."

"Why don't ya ask her out?"

"I want to in the worst way but...why would she want to date me? She goes out with jocks and...I'm not that..."

Carrie rolled her eyes with a disgusted look.

"Beth dates different guys, not just jocks. As long as I live I'll never understand...men...UGH!"

Carrie was incredibly annoyed with me.

"Leave now before I throw your pitiful ass out of here. You really are blind...you can't see the forest for the trees..."

I made a hasty exit trying to digest Carries admonishing words but she was right, at the time, I was blind.

**** With her natural leadership ability, Beth worked my body so skillfully that after only four weeks I noticed a change. By now I was capable of keeping pace with her during the morning run, dropping back occasionally to ogle her firm ass.

Many times when Beth was working me to exhaustion, I would gaze admiringly at her hot body and lovely face. When she caught me, which was frequent, she'd smile and shake her head.

"Concentrate...focus your attention on the weights in your hands...not on me..." she'd always say with good humor.

The hard core element at the gym knew Beth and the bond she had with her fellow gym rats impressed me. Frequently, they'd broadcast words of encouragement in our direction,

"Hey girl, work im till he drops!"

"Yo Beth, make im sorry he was ever born!"

And, my favorite,

"Put his candy ass through the wringer!"

These people are masochist's, I thought at one point but realized that it took a special breed of person to work tirelessly in pursuit of bodily perfection. Although I believed that I rose to the challenge, I had a specific goal in mind. Once I obtained it, I would forsake the brutality of the routine and just try and maintain my gains.

However, my mind never entertained the thought of missing one day of strenuous workouts with Beth. I considered myself a devoted pupil and she never talked down to me or made me feel like less of a man. Her private words of encouragement were delivered kindly but firmly and she had an unspoken way of getting me to do what she wanted. I pushed myself to the limit each time.

All too soon tryouts for the Lacrosse team were upon me and I survived the first cut but the all important final selection was at the end of the week. On Friday, the roster was posted on the bulletin board and I scanned the list in vain, my name was conspicuously absent.

Thanks to Beth's training regimen, I was on my way to being in the best physical condition of my life but at the time it was a matter of too little, too late.

Of course I made a bee line straight to Carries' room. Why I ran to her with my problems like some weak kneed ninny, I'll never understand. But, it was Beth who answered the door.

"Is Carrie here?" I asked in a tremulous voice.

"She's at class...hey, why the sad face? Is something wrong?"

Suddenly, Beth's expression changed when she realized what day it was.

"You didn't make the team?" she asked, and her earnest concern touched me to my core.

Beth appeared to be genuinely disappointed for me.

"Nah..."

Unexpectedly, tears formed in my eyes and I looked away. I felt like a total wuss for letting my emotions get the better of me, especially in front of Beth. To my enormous surprise, she took me in her arms and tenderly embraced me. But, I couldn't look at her because I was so damned embarrassed by my less than manly display.

"Hey, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get...ya know...all emotional," I stammered.

"Why? You just had a big letdown...don't be afraid to show your feelings to me..."

"It's just that...I don't want ya to think I'm some...wimp."

With her hand on my chin, Beth turned my face until it was in line with hers.

"Mike, you're more of a man than most of the guys I've dated. You poured every ounce of yourself into each workout...you never quit when most boys would have given up,"

I saw the compassion in Beth's hazel eyes and something else...

"Thanks," I said humbly.

Beth's comforting embrace felt reassuring. When she gave me a light peck on the cheek, my heart soared like an eagle.

Slowly the realization that my training sessions with the brunette hottie were at an end invaded my mind and my heart sank. Every atom of my being wanted to be with her and it bolstered my courage to ask my next question,

"I was hoping...I mean...can I still workout with you?"

Beth regarded me with curiosity.

"Gee, I dunno...do you think you can keep up with me?" she teased me good naturedly.

Enveloped in Beth's arms, I gazed longingly into her pretty face.

"Sure Beth...I can..."

"Then I guess it's you, me and the gym, mister!"

I was elated. My face grew really hot and Beth touched the side with her hand. The affectionate look in her eyes gave me the confidence to ask my next bombshell. I'd waited a long time and my resolve was firmly in place.

"Ah...would you like to...ya know...go for a coffee or...go to a movie sometime...with me...?" I enquired.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Well...yeah..."

"It's about time! I've been waiting..." Her demeanor was coy but excited.

"You have?" I asked with surprise.

"Why do you think I volunteered to train you?"

"...out of the goodness of your heart?" I returned.

"Yeah, that too...but I wanted to get to know you better," she said with a sly grin.

I was truly speechless. Beth was literally the girl of my dreams.

"Carrie said you were a nice guy, a sweetheart of a guy and...I guess I had to find out for myself," she uttered with assurance, and gave me a little dig in the ribs.

Now, I was dumbfounded. A day that started on a disastrous note had turned completely around. During the seven weeks of training under Beth's tutelage, we developed a close friendship. But, the very idea that romance might be in the air escaped me entirely.

Carrie's prophetic words,

"You really are blind," rang in my ears.

I had absolutely no inkling that Beth wanted to go out with me.

****

On our first date I was a nervous wreck but Beth's serene demeanor put me at ease. By the end of the night, we were regaling each other with humorous stories about our friends and families.

On the long walk back to her dorm, Beth took my hand and it felt so right, so sure. When I tried to say good night without kissing her, she pulled my body against hers. I was amazed at how strong she was.

"Hey, not so fast. Don't you want to kiss me?" she asked demurely.

"Yeah..." Although I was feeling very bashful, I wanted to in the worst way.

Beth held my face in her soft hands and our lips met in a tender sensual caress. I gazed into her sparkling hazel eyes ecstatic beyond words and she proceeded to kiss me again and again... When she finally stopped, I was breathless almost panting.

"Umm...that's better...maybe we can do more on our next date," she cooed.

I spent the rest of the night in a daze as thoughts of Beth and her exquisite kisses ran rampant through my head.

Exactly one week later, I was sitting with Beth in the campus movie theater when I felt her hand seek mine and our fingers entwined. She flashed me a lovely smile and my heart melted. I was putty in her hands and just being in her presence was sheer happiness for me.

Afterward, we went to McNally's Pub for a bite to eat. Given the fact that we exercised our bodies to the limit, we both had healthy appetites and food played an important part in our dating ritual.

Although we were only nineteen at the time, Beth knew the bartender and we enjoyed a cold beer with our burgers. I was stuffing the last morsel of food in my mouth when I noticed a sly look on her face.

"Hey Mike, you up to trying something different?" she asked mysteriously.

"Like what?"

"You'll see."

As soon as I paid the bill, we hot footed it over to Beth's dorm room. While she rummaged around in her closet, I stared longingly at her small heart shaped butt encased in a pair of jeans that looked molded to her body. What a sight!

Beth found what she was looking for and threw a large sleeping bag, the type used on camping trips, at me. Then she grabbed a hooded college sweatshirt and hastily put it on.

"Come on, let's go! She firmly grasped my hand and out the door we went.

It was a cloudless night in early November with a pronounced chill in the air.

"Beth, where are we going?" I pleaded.

"Just be patient," she assured me.

The stars shone bright overhead and we walked a long way to a remote area of the commons. Beth stopped before a small stand of trees on a hillside. The view of the night sky was unobstructed and even more dazzling away from the lights on campus.

I helped Beth spread out the sleeping bag . She took off her sneaks, got inside and held the flap open; my invitation to join her. The prospect of being that close to her both thrilled and terrified me. With no will of my own, I took off my shoes and lay next to her.

I visibly shook both from the cold and the nearness of Beth's hard body.

"Oh, you're shivering...don't worry I'll warm you up," she said in the sexiest voice I ever heard, and wrapped her arms around me. We snuggled for awhile and the sensation for me was stratospheric.

November is the onset of the Persid meteor shower in our part of the U.S. and we switched to backs to enjoy the show. Every minute or less a bright streak appeared in the sky and we oohed and ahed each time.

Eventually, Beth turned on her side and with her hand propping up her chin, gazed at me with a predatory expression. Her eyes held mine and I had the overwhelming desire to kiss her. As if reading my mind, her head moved forward until our lips met.

Beth's kisses were wonderfully sensual.

"Umm...I like kissing you," she said with a growl.

Beth moved on top of me and when our mouths touched, her tongue snaked its way past my lips until it met mine. We kissed long, hard and full of passion. When we stopped momentarily, I was panting heavily and my erection was straining in my denims. Since her body was pressed against me, she had to know I was aroused.