Big Cousin Obsession Ch. 02

'No.'

'Seriously?'

'Yeah, I mean, it's not that weird when you think about it. You and him were always close and you're both adults. A lot of cousins experiment with each other. Like, my first kiss was with my cousin, because we were both curious, so...'

'Wow...' Lauren's answer came after a while. She clearly hadn't anticipated the smaller girl to be so open minded about it. 'So, what are you upset about?'

'I left a couple of months after Derek told me that he loved me, that having sex for him wasn't bearable if we couldn't be a real couple. And when I return, he's having sex with you.'

'It's just sex.'

'No, it's not just sex. It's sex with you.'

'I thought you said you weren't upset about that...'

'When I say "you", I don't mean "you", his cousin, I mean "you" someone he clearly wouldn't be in just for the sex.' Sarah explained, feeling finally weirded out of saying these things whilst looking at Lauren. She went to the window and looked at the view as she continued. 'He adores you. If he was just in it to forget me, he would have gone for someone who meant nothing to him. Instead, he chose you.'

'I think you're thinking about it the wrong way.' Lauren said, quietly. 'You and I both know Derek doesn't really get excited about the idea of going out to meet random girls. I came onto him, and we agreed to just make it fun and casual as long as we weren't interested in anyone else. Guess you coming back means, that's over...' she muttered the final sentence.

Sarah almost heard the click inside her own head, as she finally understood something. She turned back to Lauren.

'You lied to him, didn't you? You don't just want a casual fuck from him, do you?'

'I didn't lie, per say. I thought I could be okay with the rules we set, but maybe deep down I knew I wouldn't be okay with just that in the long run.'

'You're in love with him.'

'Look, I don't need you to tell me it's wrong, okay?' Lauren reacted quickly. 'I know it's dumb and stupid, so whatever you're gonna tell me: save it!'

Another sudden realisation hit Sarah. She sat next to Lauren on the sofa she was in.

'Was he your first?' she whispered. The taller girl blushed scarlet and looked away. 'Oh, my God...'

This new information made her regard the girl next to her in a completely different way. A first lover was always unforgettable. For good and bad. Sarah's first time hadn't been anything to party over, so she got over the failure of that relationship quickly. For Lauren, though, she was sure it had been different.

Derek had probably been gentle, loving and concerned for her well being the whole time. Even if Lauren's crush on Derek hadn't been too big when this whole thing started (which Sarah doubted, considering the planning that had gone into it), she was definitely head over heels right now.

Placing her arm over Lauren's shoulders, Sarah gave her a reassuring squeeze. That was Lauren's undoing, letting her head fall on the older woman's shoulder, as the tears flowed.

'Damnit! Sorry.' She mumbled, clearing her tears with her hand angrily.

'Don't worry, it's okay.' Sarah replied, caressing Lauren's hair soothingly.

They stayed like that for a bit, as Sarah waited for Lauren to get a grip on herself again. When she felt that the younger girl had recovered herself enough, Sarah spoke.

'I know it's not the comforting words I should be saying right now, but I'm not going to give up on Derek.'

'I understand.' Lauren said, sitting upright again. 'Guess you weren't scared off yet, huh?' She added with a smile.

'Not yet.' The older girl smiled back, the previous anger replaced with pity.

'You weren't just bluffing the other night, were you?'

'No, I really do love him.'

'So that's me done, then...'

'I was with him one night when I told Derek I loved him, and he went away. I don't know where he stands anymore...' Sarah muttered, as if to herself.

'Less than a day after you confessed your love for him, he told me he wanted us to stop having sex. I'd say it's pretty clear where he stands!'

Feeling selfish, Sarah couldn't help but being hopeful on it. She was surprised at not being upset with Derek over what had happened. The truth was that Lauren was right. She'd shoved down his romantic proposal and it had been months before he made a move at anyone else. And it was also now clear that even though he loved Lauren, he wasn't in love with her.

But did that mean he was in love with her? Unlike Lauren, Sarah didn't share her view that it was so obvious. She would have to find out.

///////////////

SARAH

The swimming pool was almost completely still, with only three lanes occupied, each with one person. Outside there were grey clouds, as an annoying drizzle that barely qualified as rain came down.

As she stood behind the railing that separated the pool from the seats, Sarah waited for Derek to finish. He didn't usually come this early to swim, and she had just gone to the pool to find out when his instructor gave lessons, when, by accident, she noticed him there.

She didn't have to wait too long for his lesson to finish. As the morning instructor whistled the end of the lesson, the three figures stopped one at a time near the end of the lanes. They started stepping out, and Sarah identified Derek as the one on the far left.

He was holding his goggles and cap on his hand, as he slicked his wet hair back. Sarah noticed she was biting her lip, as she admired him. Although he didn't have a ripped body, his muscles seemed more protuberant after the exercise they'd just endured, which, coupled with the water dripping down his body, was giving him a very yummy look.

It was not the first time, as well, that Sarah noticed how serene he looked after taking a swim. Derek had told her once that he sometimes lost track of how many laps he was on in the long runs, because his mind would start to wander away, disconnecting from any problems he would have in that moment.

Although she wasn't so sure about it when he told her she should try it, Sarah did find his enthusiasm when speaking about anything even remotely related to swimming to be quite attractive.

Derek saw her at a distance. She could tell that because his expression instantly changed, from carefree and joyful to surprised and worried. He made his way quickly to her, nearly slipping along the way.

'Hey.' Sarah greeted with a smile that she hoped would be reassuring.

'I am so sorry about what happened. Are you okay?'

'I'm fine-

'You're probably so angry at me right now. And there is no reasonable explanation.' he rambled on.

'Der-'

'I was worried about what you would be thinking all this time alone, and I tried to find out where you are. But then I thought you'd want some time al-'

Sarah grabbed his hand gently.

'Derek, look at me.' She smiled softly again. 'I'm not freaking out, I'm completely calm.'

'How?' He finally asked after what seemed like an eternity.

'I've had my time to process it.'

'And you're okay with it?'

'I'm pretty fucking far from okay, if I'm honest. But getting there...'

'Well, where do we even go from here?'

Sarah thought about it for a moment.

'How did it start?' She managed.

'How did what start?' Derek asked.

'Are you telling me you seriously can't figure it out...'

'Sarah...'

'You asked for a conversation starter.' She shrugged.

Derek sighed, before starting.

'It was a couple of months since you'd left when I got a call from Lauren. She thought I looked depressed and asked to move in because of a new job, and since you weren't going to be around for a while I didn't see much problem in her using the empty room.'

'Okay...'

'And, the first night of her moving in, we just decided to have dinner together, and when we were going to go to sleep, we just...'

'She made the first move, didn't she?'

'Look, Sarah...'

'I'm not throwing her under the bus!' Sarah said, understanding his problem. 'In fact, I... I had a talk with her.'

Derek looked somewhere between afraid and confused.

'Talk with her? What do you mean you talked with her?' He asked.

'I've been staying at Kath's place for the last couple of days.'

'Godamnit, I asked her!' Derek said, angrily.

'Don't be mad at her, please. I told her not to say anything...' Sarah replied, not wanting to create a divide between Kath and Derek. 'I wanted some time alone to think about things.'

'Then, how did Lauren know where to find you?'

'I didn't explain to anyone why I didn't want to see you, so when Lauren came asking for me, Kath didn't see why I wouldn't want to see her.'

He shifted his bent position over the railing slightly.

'What did you talk about?'

'Just... about this whole thing. And what she felt about his.' She bit her lip. 'She's in love with you, you know that?'

Derek looked down with a sigh.

'I know.'

'Do you feel the same way?' Sarah asked the question she'd been dreading.

'She's my cousin and I adore her, but I'm not in love with her, no.' He said, looking at her.

Although she knew it didn't exactly make her a good person, Sarah couldn't help but feel relieved at him confirming what she suspected after the talk with Lauren. Silence established itself between them for a moment, as neither of them really knew where to go from there.

'I probably should beat around the bush a bit more.' Sarah said after a bit. 'But it's been a couple of days of imagining worst case scenarios in my head, so here goes.' She took a deep breath. 'Before you disappeared that night at Felix's place, you kissed me back. Was it because you wanted to talk to your cousin first?'

'Yes.'

'Was that the only reason?'

Taking a moment to understand what made Sarah ask that question, Derek appeared to understand the implicit question he would be answering. Do you still love me? He appeared to be completely taken aback by the fact that not only was she not freaking out, she still wanted to be with him.

'Well,' he started, as he got himself back together. 'I've talked with her already.'

'Okay... Doesn't really ans-'

Before she could finish, Derek kissed her. She felt his hands on the sides of her face, keeping her in place. Just like at Felix's house, it was incredible. All the men Sarah had ever kissed always seemed to her to be too eager, too rough. Not him. He managed to be firm, yet gentle, somehow.

Before she had time to wrap her arms around him, Derek finally broke away softly.

'Yes, that was the only reason I stopped.' He said, caressing the sides of her face tenderly.

Sarah closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to Derek's.

'So, what now?'

'What do you mean?'

'It feels strange to just go back to the way things were.'

'I know what you mean.' He replied, removing his hands, and resting his elbows on the barrier that separated them. 'How about this: we go on a date.'

'A date?' Sarah asked, amused.

'Yeah, we've never actually been on one, coming to think of it. How will we know if we'd be at all good as a couple?' Derek smiled back.

'Yes, certainly the 11 years we've known each other, don't count for much.'

'Exactly.'

She thought it over in her head. A date. It did sound fun.

'Okay. When are we going to have our first date?'

'I'll pick you up at Kath's place, at 7?'

'Deal. Now, seriously, you should go, you're freezing.' Sarah told him, as her cheeks had turned very cold when he'd held her.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips, before starting to go the changing room, when Sarah remembered something.

'Der.'

'Yeah...' He turned back, looking slightly worried.

'I kind of like Lauren, so just... Don't be upset at her for what happened at our place, and don't hurt her feelings.'

'I'm not upset. And I won't, don't worry.'

*****

Unlike last time, now I can promise that there will be a next chapter. Just didn't want to say it at the beginning to avoid spoiling anything...

Thanks for reading! :)