Calvins

God, I can't believe my eyes.

I quickly slip on my sunglasses, both shielding my eyes from the sun and disguising the direction of my gaze.

Yes, it's Adonis himself, leaning sultrily against the guardrail outside his third-floor apartment, nude but for a tight-fitting pair of boxer-briefs. Calvin Kleins, I'll bet. The white material is striking, because of its sharp contrast against his sculpted, bronze flesh, and because it does nothing to conceal his obvious . . . endowments.

Seeming to have nothing better to do but play Greek God and be pretty, he leans over even further, his muscular arms hanging over the railing, and calls down to his lover. "Calvin!"

Reclining on a poolside chaise not far from mine, Calvin looks up from his book and answers, "Uh-huh?"

"I need your help," Adonis says, his smile nothing short of devastating.

I'm not gay -- well, perhaps it would be more accurate to say I've never had a homosexual encounter. But the sight of him languidly draped over the railing in his Calvin Klein underwear causes a stirring in my loins and I don't know why. I don't even know him. I met Calvin at a pool party last week, but hadn't particularly liked him. Absently, I wonder if Adonis's choice of a lover named Calvin symbolizes an obsession with his own underwear or whether it's just a weird coincidence.

Rising from his chaise, Calvin looks my way, smiles, and gives me a little wave. I casually wave back and he walks off to the elevator. As the doors quietly close behind him, I can't help thinking he should've taken the stairs to get some of that egregious weight off him. When Calvin finally reaches him, Adonis takes Calvin's hand, leads him into their apartment, and closes the door behind them, giving them privacy for I'm sure I know not what. Then again, maybe I do, but I really don't want to know what I think I know.

* * * * *

My life is in somewhat of a tumble right now. My lady, Jill, walked out on me three weeks ago, leaving me all alone in this apartment. Now, when I look at other couples, I hope they'll break up so I'll have a chance with the woman. If only I could find a woman to cherish forever.

I never expected to be attracted to another man -- until Calvin Klein showed me the way. Of course, I know my burgeoning fascination is both innocent and safe since he has a boyfriend. And because I'm not gay – really. Maybe I simply need to buy myself some of that sexy Calvin Klein underwear.

While eating a sandwich in the kitchen, I'm reminded once again how much I hate eating alone. Like so many other activities, when you eat alone, it becomes a meaningless chore you plod through as quickly as possible just to get it over with. And sometimes you say, "what the hell's the point," and don't do it at all.

I’ve lost five pounds since she left, but I haven’t told her that. I wouldn’t tell her that -- or anything for that matter. And my not telling her anything is directly related to the fact that I have no idea where she lives or with whom, or even what her phone number is. So the truth is, I couldn’t tell her anything even if I wanted to. She was nothing more than a sexual playmate anyway. Why I'm losing weight over her is beyond me? I really just don’t like being alone. Not to worry, I’ll get over it.

That afternoon, I go shopping and buy new Calvin Klein underwear at a fancy store in the mall. When I get home, with an almost maudlin feeling, I throw my threadbare standard jockeys away. I slip on my new Calvins and model them in my bedroom mirror -- her bedroom mirror, that is. The one above her dresser that's part of the bedroom set she hasn’t come back for yet.

I look pretty good, even if I do say so myself. My tummy is tight, my waistline is trim, my legs are a little hairy, and my chest is almost hairless. I’m certainly not as tall as I might be -- inches below Adonis. But still, I look pretty damn good.

* * * * *

Tired of being alone, the following Friday evening, I decide to go to a party with friends who live in the same apartment complex. I don't even know where the party is. And I really don't care as long as it gets me out of this damn apartment. Human companionship is what I need.

Dressing casually, I put on slacks, an open-collar shirt, and a pair of loafers. And of course, my Calvins.

Harry and Sally come down to get me. I’ve always liked them, even though they were originally my ex-lover’s friends. They don’t like her anymore and don’t hesitate to say so. I really like Sally’s sparkling blue eyes and curly blond hair. She looks like a doll -- one of those windup kind.

We go upstairs. I still haven’t asked which apartment we're going to. I just follow along like their cocker spaniel and am truly surprised when we enter Calvin and Theodore’s -- Ted’s -- place. Okay, yes, I found out Adonis's name.

We circulate, speaking to this person and that person. Everyone who's straight seems to be from this apartment building. But Calvin and Ted's gay friends are from all over town. And oddly enough, they appear to be much happier than the married couples here tonight.

Calvin comes over to greet us and make sure we have drinks before wandering off. Ted is busy with a group of adoring young men. Harry walks away and strikes up a conversation with another couple from the apartment complex.

“Wow,” Sally whispers in my ear, “what a waste!”

“Who're you talking about,” I ask. “Calvin?”

She guffaws. “You nuts?” She pulls away, looks around, then turns back to me and whispers again, “Him!”

I follow the direction of her index finger to find she's pointing at none other than Ted -- otherwise known as Adonis.

“Mr. America,” she says wistfully and suggestively sucks the finger she'd just been pointing with.

“You’re taken,” I whisper back. “It’s no loss to you.”

“You either,” she says with a crooked grin. “You're still heterosexual, aren’t you?”

I laugh nervously, not quite sure about my answer at the moment. Every possibility I run through my head seems to be followed by a "but."

“Well, aren’t you?” she asks with a raised brow.

“Of course, I am,” I say, deliberately ignoring the urge to say "but."

Suddenly, Harry appears and interjects, “What are you two whispering about?”

“She’s trying to get me into bed and didn’t want you to know,” I say, smiling at him.

“Ha! Take my wife, please!” he says, doing his Henny Youngman imitation, and then sips his drink.

Sally punches him playfully on the arm and looks around the room. “I don’t see any stray women in this joint. What are we going to do with you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” I say. “I’ll find somebody soon.”

Harry pipes up, “Hope it’s in time.”

“Yeah," Sally teases, "the explosion that's brewing could blow up the entire building.” Then she turns and walks over to the bar. I follow and lean against it while Sally gets a refill from the bartender.

“Look,” I say, “I think it’s very nice that you want to help, but you don’t have to find my women for me, you know?”

“Well, you don’t seem to be doing anything about it.”

“Who's had the time to think about someone new yet?”

She sips her drink and a petulant look suffuses her features. “Make up your mind soon," she says, nodding at Ted as he approaches the bar. "The competition is getting rough.” With a parting air kiss, she sashays off just as Ted comes up beside me.

“Nice shirt,” he says to me, then gestures to the bartender, who hands him a drink.

“Thanks," I say, trying to maintain my composure. "Nice party.”

“I think I recognize the undershirt," he says, boldly fingering the fabric showing through the open collar of my shirt. "You got the briefs to go with it?”

I can’t help it; I blush. “Yeah, I got the whole works.”

“I’ll bet you do,” he says, leaning his back against the bar. “What happened to your woman?”

“The one I was living with?” I hadn’t realized he'd noticed me before today. I don’t even know what that little fact means to me.

“Yeah,” he smiles -- and wow, what a smile. “Her. Brunette with the big boobs, right?”

Did he notice her -- or me? “She split. Couldn’t put up with me.”

“Oh, you’re tough to live with?”

I laugh. “Not really. We just didn’t make it, you know?”

“So, nobody new yet, huh?”

God, his eyes are like wells. “No. Nobody new.”

He smiles his GQ smile and walks away. I watch him as he walks away, trying not to notice the slight sway of his buttocks -- encased, I’m sure, in briefs similar to the ones I’m wearing. Calvins, of course. We have that much in common now.

Harry comes over and we shoot the bull for awhile, mostly about his work. I wonder where their daughter is tonight -- actually she's Harry's daughter from a previous marriage. She’s old enough to be out with friends, so I assume that’s where she is.

“Where did you and Sally meet, Harry? It just occurred to me that I've never asked?”

“We met in Seattle on a tall building. She was looking at the sights and I was afraid she was going to fall off the building. It was really scary. Of course, I rushed to rescue her only to find out she was perfectly safe and wouldn’t have fallen.”

I laugh. “Sounds like a movie plot.”

“Yeah, maybe. Well, I’ve got to go find her. That woman is liable to be in trouble somewhere.”

“Yeah,” I say, “you better find her.”

I wander around, sipping my second -- then my third drink -- talking to everyone I know and a few I didn’t know until tonight. Before I know it, I look around and Harry and Sally are gone. As a matter of fact, everyone is gone except Ted, Calvin, and I. And not being a good drinker, I'm pretty drunk.

* * * * *

“Thanks, for helping us clean up,” Ted says as he finishes washing the dishes, handing me the last serving platter to dry.

I laugh drunkenly. “If I’d done this for Jill, I’d probably still have her in my life.”

"That was her name? Jill?” he asks while stuffing paper plates and cups into the trash compactor.

"Yeah."

When he passes behind me, his hand brushes my butt, startling me so much I jump in reflex. “Sorry,” he says, giving me that Clark Gable smile as he exits the room, leaving me to wonder whether or not he's really sorry.

He returns a few minutes later with Calvin and the last of the paper plates. “Want a nightcap?”

“I think I’ve had enough," I say with a nervous laugh. "I don’t know if I can make it to the elevator without keeling over.”

“No problem,” Calvin says. “You can sleep on our couch. When you’re okay, you can go home.”

“Yeah,” Ted agrees, smiling like a Cheshire cat. “Good idea. Why don’t you get him a pillow and blanket, Calvin?”

Calvin dutifully scurries off and Ted and I follow at a more leisurely pace. In the living room, Calvin hands me a blanket, pillow, and pillow case he'd retrieved from the hall closet while Ted continues on to their bedroom, disrobing as he goes. I can’t help but stare and hope I'm not being too obvious.

Once alone and settled in on the couch, I get little sleep. Why? Because every time I close my eyes, I imagine waking up with Ted's big prick in my mouth. I can't say if I'm more afraid or aroused by the idea.

* * * * *

I must have finally fallen asleep at some point, because I wake up at six-thirty in the morning somewhat refreshed and more steady on my feet. Not wanting to wake either Ted or Calvin, I quietly leave their apartment and head back to my own. Halfway there, I run into Sally, looking annoyingly perky for that hour of the morning.

“My God, you look like death warmed over. Where did you sleep last night?”

“On their couch,” I say. “Thank God it’s Sunday. There's no way I could make it in to work today.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” she says, taking my arm. “So what happened?”

“What do you mean 'what happened?' I got drunk.”

She smirks slightly. “Nothing else, huh?”

“No,” I say, pulling my arm away. “Nothing happened. There weren’t any unattached girls there for Pete's sake.”

“Well,” she says as we approach my door, “I wasn’t thinking about girls. I mean, I know it’s been almost a month since Jill left.”

“Three weeks,” I correct her. She stares at me. “Well, twenty-two days, okay?”

“Hmm,” she murmurs suspiciously as I push past her to open my door.

I turn in the doorway before entering my apartment and give her a dismissive, “Thanks.”

After closing and locking the door behind me, I shuffle into the living room, exhaustedly collapse onto the couch, and fall deeply asleep.

* * * * *

Later, after I get some solid, unworried sleep, I slip into a bathing suit and go out and soak in the Jacuzzi, just letting the hot water loosen my stiff muscles and my sore neck. After about ten minutes, I get out and jump into the pool. Still suffering the effects of my hangover, I'm only able to swim six laps before I give up and drag myself out of the pool.

Then I head to the sauna, grab a towel from the stack by the door, and enter the steam-filled room. Unable to tell if anyone else is in the sauna, I spread out my towel on a bench and lay down, covering my head with my arm. The moist heat feels wonderful, permeating my skin and soothing my weary body.

A few minutes later, I hear the door open, feel a rush of cold air, and hear the door close again. Lazily, I take my arm away from my eyes. Through the fog, Ted emerges and removes his swimming trunks. “Hello, Sam. That’s right, isn’t it? Sam?”

Nodding my head, I sit up, more than slightly unnerved by his presence -- not to mention his nudity. He stands there in front of me, his limp but sizable cock hanging at eye level. Beautiful. The Adonis prick.

“Yeah,” I rasp. “Sam.”

Transfixed, I helplessly watch his penis flap against his leg as he swings his body up onto the upper level beside me. My heart beating erratically in my chest, I lay back down on my towel. He leans over and looks down at me. "Recovered?"

“Oh, yeah. I slept half the day.”

“Just what you needed. You were pretty drunk last night.”

“Yeah,” I say, recovering my eyes with my arm. But I don’t sleep. My nerves are too raw with tension.

He's quiet for such a long time I wonder if he's fallen asleep. After a while, I figure I've spent enough time lounging in the sauna and get up to leave.

Ted rolls over facing me, his penis flopping against his lower leg as he does. “What was it like? Were you scared?”

“What was what like?” I ask, even though I know exactly what he means.

His smile turns almost predatory. “Sleeping in two gay guys' apartment. Were you scared?”

After a brief hesitation, I admit, “Yeah, I guess I was.”

“I’m sorry. You know, we’d never attack you.”

Hmm, I might have taken his word for it -- if it weren't for that lecherous smile on his handsome face.

I turn to leave, but then something pulls me back. Facing him again, I say, “I don’t have anything against you two or your lifestyle. It’s just strange to me and I don’t know anything about it.”

“Yeah, I suppose not. Sam, can I tell you one thing?”

“Sure,” I say automatically.

“Something kinda intimate, but complimentary?"

I nod.

“You’ve got a great ass.”

I just stare at him for a moment, then turn and leave without saying another word.

* * * * *

The following weekend finds me lounging beside the pool, watching all the "pretty people" -- who really aren't so pretty -- scamper in and out of the water. That’s one of the great pleasures of living in a large apartment complex. There's plenty of young flesh at the pool on weekends -- if you’re sober enough to notice it. In reality, I know they’re too young for me, but it’s nice to look. However, one particularly-nice brunette specimen, who's posing on the diving board before taking the plunge, looks to be in her late twenties, which is closer to my own age.

Someone sits in the empty lounge chair beside me, but I don’t look, keeping my gaze fixed on the brunette as she dives.

“Good morning.” Instantly, I recognize the voice. Ted.

“Morning,” I say, turning my head to look at him.

Ted nods at the brunette splashing and laughing in the water. “Your type?”

“Type? I don’t know. She looks pretty good to me this morning.”

“How’re your friends? Harry and Sally were their names, right?”

“Yeah. They're out of town. Their daughter's in some contest -- gymnastics, I think -- and they've gone to watch her perform. They’re pretty excited about it.”

“I’ll bet.” He lays back and covers his eyes with his sunglasses. For a reckless moment, I let my eyes take in the sight of him in his Speedo. Eventually, I turn back to the pool and watch the brunette at play. Upon closer inspection, I realize her nose's too big, her bust's too small, and when she gets out of the pool, I see her toenails are painted black. How come I didn’t notice that before? I turn back to Ted to correct his impression of my taste, but he's asleep, his mouth slightly open, revealing the sharp contrast between his perfect, white teeth and his deeply tanned face. Damn, he's beautiful.

Resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to reach over and brush back a lock of glossy black hair that'd fallen across his forehead, I lay back in my lounge chair and doze.

* * * * *

It's Saturday night and I'm at yet another party. They seem to keep recurring at our apartment complex. This time it's at a guy named Silvio's place. When I don’t see Ted or Calvin amongst the guests, I breathe a sigh of relief.

While talking with various groups of people, I drink several glasses of wine. During one such conversation, I see Ted and Calvin arguing about something. Calvin’s face turns red, but Ted leans toward him and whispers something in Calvin’s ear, making him laugh. I've never seen anyone handle another so smoothly. Then they disappear once more into the throng of guests.

In search of a bathroom, I make my way through the milling crowd. Seeing the host, I approach him and say, "Hi, I'm looking for a bathroom."

He laughs and points down a hallway. “Second door on your left.”

I thank him and head down the hall. As I pass the first door on my right, I hear a grunt and notice that the door is slightly open. Light streams out from the room into the dimly lit hall, but I don’t notice anything as I pass. I continue down the hall to the second door on the left and knock. When no one answers, I slowly enter the bathroom, half expecting some naked guy laying in wait for me. But there’s no one, so I efficiently take care of business and flush the toilet.

Leaning over the sink, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. It’s like suddenly my psyche is in a very strange place and doesn’t know what it wants. But that strange place is a part of me and somehow I have to learn to live with it.

I wash my hands and then my face. Running my wet hands through my hair, I stare into my eyes for a moment or two.

“Who the hell are you?” I ask myself under my breath.

I shake my head at my reflection and turn away. After drying my hands and face, I exit the bathroom.

Back out in the hall, I'm again aware of noises coming from the room I passed before. Seeing the door is still ajar, I move closer to it, curious to see what the grunting is all about. My view is still restricted, but as I lean forward, my shoulder accidentally brushes the door and it swings into the room. The few additional inches between the door and the jam allow me to see something I don't really want to be seeing, but I can't seem to pull my eyes away.

Two naked men are in a sweaty tangle on the bed, one fucking the other in the ass from behind, his lover grunting his pleasure with each of his plowing thrusts. “Uhn! Uhn! Uhn!”

Droplets of perspiration dripping from their bodies, the man whose penis is probing in and out of the other’s ass begins panting heavily and I can see his testicles contract.

Snapping out of my trance, I quickly turn and make my way back down the hall towards the living room, thankful no one caught me peeking. My heart pounding in my chest, the pulse thrumming in my ears almost deafening, a bead of perspiration running down my nose, glancing over my shoulder to make sure neither of the lovers spotted me, I run headlong into Ted's arms. Startled, I jump back, pulling myself from his grasp.