Coming Home

'I don't understand why I'm so nervous! I've known him for ages, hell we've met face to face before...yeah OK so he barely touched me, but dammit I still shouldn't be like this!' She stabbed the exclamation marks to the page of her journal and stared at it. Frustrated and confused, unable to think of a way to put her emotions into words, she slammed the book closed and shoved it into the glove compartment. She took a quick look at the map to refresh her memory and carefully drove down the on ramp and slid back onto the interstate.

As she drove, the words began to tumble from her full lips. Alone in the car, she did the only thing she could to try and make sense of the hailstorm of emotions...she talked to herself. "You know what, that's what I don't understand. Why did he want to meet in the first place if he never intended to take it anywhere? Yeah it was nice not having to fend off hands I wasn't sure I wanted to touch me yet...oh who am I freaking kidding, I'm mad as hell that he didn't make a move! You don't talk to a woman for months...MONTHS...and then set up a weekend meet, a hotel and the only thing you do is hold her and make out and talk! That's soooooooooo high school!" Her hand slapped the steering wheel as she vented. She jumped as the horn blared out, earning her a nasty gesture from the driver in front of her car.

"Yeah yeah I can fly that bird too ya twit!" She snarled, and then sighed heavily. "I don't get it, didn't he want more? What was the purpose in that? I so badly wanted him to NEED me, to want me...dear God, I needed him to show me, not just tell me!" She cried out miserably. It'd been over three month since their first face to face meeting. They talked every day, usually a couple times a day, and over time the doubts crept back in, the frustration leading her to question the attraction he said he felt for her. Blowing out a breath of aggravation, she signaled for her turn off and found herself quickly enthralled with the view out of the window as she took the rocky lane down towards the cabin.

As she pulled into a parking spot in front of the cabin, she inhaled deeply, resolving herself to see what this visit brought before she made any decision. Stepping out of the car, she looked around as she stretched, noticing the way the cabin's deck hung over the side of the hill, she walked around for a closer look. Gasping, she just stared, her head swiveling from side to side taking in the beautiful early evening look of the Smoky Mountains. Feeling a calm flow through her, she turned and saw him standing beside her car. Smiling she moved towards him, her steps slow and even. Stepping into the open circle of his arms, her head instantly lowered to his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, feeling the tension in her body even as she clung to him. She hugged him tighter and shook her head slightly.

"Nothing, Love. Was just a long drive." She hedged, pulling away and smiling at him before moving to the backseat to pull out her bags. He reached past her and grabbed both bags, stepping back and motioned for her to close the car. Leading her up the front steps of the porch, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and struggled for a moment not to frown. He watched the ever so slight hesitation as her hand reached for the handle to the front door, saw the miniscule pause in her step as she entered. He led her up the stairs to the loft and set her bags at the foot of the king sized bed. Turning towards her, he caught a quick glimpse of her troubled frown, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as she looked at the bed.

"Did you want to rest first, or are you hungry?" He asked, stepping closer to her. She startled wildly, actually stepping back before she looked up at him. The shadows in her eyes had him raising his hand to touch her and dropping it slowly. "C'mon, I'll show you around so you know where to find everything." He turned and walked out of the bedroom, pausing along the way to point out the TV room, the deck with it's hot tub overlooking the mountains, the bathroom and finally into the living room/kitchen with it's wide open floor plan. Turning to face her, he once more offered to get her something to eat.

"No...thank you." She answered quietly. She looked past him to the monstrous fireplace against the far wall and a sudden grin flashed on her face. She ducked past him and ran to run her hands over the old stone, and noticing that the logs were laid and ready, turned to him to ask...and found him holding a box of matches. She moved to the side and watched as he calmly lit the fire, feeding it small bits of tinder until it took hold and gained a life of it's own. Staring at the fire, her eyes glowed. "It's beautiful!" She gasped, turning towards him with a smile.

"Yes, it is." He answered quietly, his hand raising to wrap a curl of her long red hair around his finger. He watched the firelight play on her hair, reflecting the heat. Meeting her eyes, he slowly leaned down and kissed her, his lips playing over hers, moving...seeking. She returned the kiss softly, holding her body away from his. Sighing and pulling away, he took her hand and pulled her over to the couch. Settling down and tucking her against his side, he wrapped an arm around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Talk to me." He whispered softly. Her body tensed in his arms, and slowly relaxed against him as she sighed.

"I don't know what to...how to." She growled in frustration. Tipping her chin back until she looked up at him, he pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Just talk, it's just us, our cabin...our safe place. It's been here waiting for you...and so have I." He reminded her, shifting his body around until he could easily look in her eyes. Her deep dark eyes so full of anxiety and emotions.

"That's what makes it so much harder dammit!" She suddenly exploded, sitting up away from him. Facing the fire, staring at it, she continued, the words finally pouring out. "When I'm with you, it's amazing, I feel so calm, so cared for, so...precious." She whispered the last word blinking quickly as tears filled her eyes. Shaking her head slightly she swiped at her eyes trying to catch the tears before they fell. "When we met last time...you held me, we touched and talked, laughed. You kissed me as if you couldn't get enough, couldn't stop. But after...when I got home, it felt different...it felt so...alone. You say you want me...but you didn't..." Her words trailed of as he stood up in front of her and held out his hands to her. When she didn't respond, he gently but firmly pulled her to her feet. Standing in front of him, she slowly looked up at him, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. His hands rose to frame her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears, before they slid into her hair, holding her in place as he leaned in to kiss her. As she gasped, he slid past her lips, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, kissing her deeply. Moving one hand from her hair, he captured one of her hands and slid it down his chest, down until their hands pressed over the erection bulging against the front of his pants. Holding her hand there, he kissed her, nipping and sucking at her lips and tongue until she was breathless.

Pulling away from her lips, he waited until her eyes opened, until she was staring at him, "Undress me." He ordered. She looked up at him, her eyes clouded with emotion and again...frustration. He stood firm and so hard, watching as her hands slowly rose to his shirt, sliding the buttons free and pushing it over his shoulders. A sob caught in her throat as she slid her hands into his chest hair and she curled against his chest, hugging him desperately. Gritting his teeth, he stood, without response and waited until she hesitantly reached for the button on his pants, swallowing hard as he felt her fingers brush over his cock as she slid the zipper down. He watched her kneel, his cock bobbing insistently as she slowly knelt in front of him, pushing his pants down his legs. He kicked out of his shoes and allowed her to slide his pants off, tugging his socks off, before looking up at him.

Motioning for her to stand, he moved past her and laid down on the large couch. Moving towards him, she stopped abruptly as he held up a hand. "Undress for me." He ordered, his voice raspy. He saw the mutiny come and go in her eyes, saw the quick thought of leaving and the slow determination to see it through cross her lovely face. Even more slowly, he watched her hands move to her blouse, pausing and then gripping it to rip it over her head defiantly. Standing in front of the couch, the firelight moving over her body, she stood as if waiting for judgment. "The rest." He demanded quietly, his hands intertwined over his chest. He saw her tongue dart out to lick her lips as she glanced as his cock still rock hard and waiting. Slowly, the hesitation and anxiety showing so clearly in her eyes as she shimmied and wriggled out of her slacks and panties before reaching back to unclasp the bra, letting it all to the floor as her heavy breasts reacted to the air, the nipples puckering instantly.

"Come here. Lay with me." He moved onto his side, making room for her to lay down next to him. Snuggling her against his chest, he took her hand and lowered it to his cock, wrapping her fingers around the shaft. Leaning back against the cushions, he held her close, breathing deep as her hand stroked him, instantly falling into the same slow rhythm they'd found during the first visit.

Kissing her forehead, he began to talk. "Do you remember what I told you last time?" Feeling the ever so slight nod of her head, he continued. "I told you about us, about this place, what it meant. I told you I wanted you to have a safe place to come to, when it's all too much. A place to run to, to feel, to breathe. I wrapped your hand around me then, just like I did tonight. I told you I wanted you to be able to reach out anytime, to touch, to feel, to know that you've come home. Do you remember?" He asked her, his voice a low rasping whisper as he paused just to feel.

He felt more than heard her soft giggle and hiccup. "You called it my pacifier. Like I needed it to soothe me, like a baby." She whispered back, her hand moving slowly over his shaft, her thumb slowly moving over the head with each stroke.

"No, not like a baby. You need that safe place, that comfort you can go to, to hold and touch, to settle yourself, to center so that you can see the world again, not just it's problems. You do so much, feel so much...all the time, it's overwhelming." He sighed. Kissing her forehead again, and then smiling softly as she tipped her head back to look at him. Pleased with the slow soft smile she sent him, he finished. "I wanted you to know first...most...that I'm here, this cabin is here...your pacifier is waiting here for you, whenever you need us."

"Thank you." She answered simply, and quietly, her eyes sliding down to the cock in her hand, watching the way it throbbed patiently in her hand. "I know I'm so close to the edge sometimes, so stressed and tired that I get whiny and bitchy. I was so...out of control, the last part of the drive, I can't understand why you didn't want it to go any further the last time. Not sure this time would be any different, and it just made everything else worse." She admitted, her attention focused solely on the slow steady strokes, on the soft skin that covered his swollen cock.

"How do you feel now?" He asked, his hand covering hers and stopping the movement. She frowned, snapping her head up to look at him. Slowly the frown left her face, replaced by a slow moving smile and understanding.

"Calm...more relaxed...happy...I feel so much all the time, I can't always handle it, but here, like this...it's like you're my quiet, my silence. My Peace." Her smile lit up brilliantly as the last left her lips. "It is like coming home! Like curling up in your bed with that old teddy bear, the blanket that reminds you of all the good." He grinned as full comprehension rose in her eyes making them sparkle. "A pacifier." She said simply, and a giggle escaped her as she snuggled against his chest, hugging him tightly. "But..." Her head popped up nearly smacking him in the chin. "your cock, the feel of it in my hand, the warmth of your body being close is my pacifier. What's your pacifier, what comforts you when it gets bad?" She asked.

"You." He answered simply and kissed her, sucking her bottom lip, drawing it out to nibble on it even as she grinned brightly. "There's something you need to do." Carefully he pushed her off the couch and moved into a reclining position against the cushions. Watching her expressive face, he grinned and said, "Take your position." Leaning back, he watched as she quickly settled onto her knees, kneeling in front of the couch at cock level. Glancing up at him, she slowly leaned forward and slowly ran her tongue over the head of his cock in slow teasing circles. Reaching a hand out, he slid a hand into her hair, holding her close, urging her on. Her lips closed over his cock, surging in a slow even rhythm, sucking him deeper with each stroke.

He felt her tongue flick against the glans, sliding down putting pressure on the thick vein under his cock as she plunged down on him burying his cock deep in her throat. His hand tightened convulsively in her hair, fisting in the curls, using it to guide her into a faster stroke. Gritting his teeth, he pushed up into her mouth, thrusting harder. "Use your hands." He growled, needing to feel her as he did last time. Her hand rose to the base of his shaft, wrapping around it and following her mouth with each stroke. Leaning back on her heels, she watched as her hand slid over his cock rolling over the head and back down. Pulling his cock taut as her hand slid down his shaft, she leaned forward to lick and suck at his cock like it was a lollipop. Another stroke and down, she pressed her lips to the head and hummed softly, biting back a giggle as he groaned out loud. Following her hand back down, she deep throated him and pulled away, her hand followed back up, sliding over the head and twisting back down.

Tightening his hand in her hair, he pulled her mouth back down on his cock even as he slide his other hand between her legs, tracing her thighs. He felt her mouth tighten around him as his hand slid up to her pussy, his fingers dancing over her lips. She inhaled sharply as her mouth rose on his cock and he moaned at the sweet agony of cold air against his skin. Thrusting up into her mouth, his fingers teased her, sliding up to circle her clit, pinching at it, squeezing it. He felt her humming moan travel along his cock and his toes curled with the effort of not cumming. Running his hand back through her lips, he pushed two fingers inside her, damn pleased to feel just how wet she was already.

Thrusting his fingers into her with the rhythm of her mouth on his cock, he worked to bring her to the edge of an orgasm. Feeling her breath shudder over his cock as he thrust deeper into her mouth his hand driving her harder and faster, he pinched her clit hard and pushed a third finger inside her pussy. The feel of her clamping down on his hand as she shivered violently made his balls tighten and his cock throb even harder. Curling his fingers, he pistoned his hand in and out of her, listening to the sound of her soaked hole as it grasped at him. Flicking his thumb against her clit hard, he heard the muffled cry at the same time he felt even more wetness. Listening to her cum with his cock buried in her throat snapped the final thin thread of his control. Thrusting up hard, he grunted as his cock exploded, shooting hot ropes of cum deep into her throat, his hips moving spasmodically as she sucked him dry even as her body still convulsed around his hand. Slowly relaxing against the couch, he felt her head drop onto his thighs.

"Now, it's Mine." She giggled softly. Opening his eyes to look down at her he couldn't help but laugh.

"You look smug."

"I am. You told me no woman ever had. Now it's mine and I did...so there!" She giggled and stuck her tongue out at him. Teasingly he lifted his hand which was still tangled in her hair.

"It is yours. It'll always be yours. Now c'mon, time for a lil hot tub and then bed." He managed to get up off the couch and helped her to her feet, both of them laughing as the shaky legs they dealt with as they moved out onto the balcony. Leaning over, he turned on the hot tub and then turned to kiss her as it fired up. Kissing her thoroughly, he backed her up against the railing. Grinning at her, he slid down her body, pulling her legs open wider and pushing his face against her.

"Oh hell" She cried out, reaching over her head to grab onto the rafter to keep from falling backwards as his tongue pushed inside of her. She half hung, half stood there under the assault of his mouth as he nipped and sucked at her lips, flicking his tongue against her clit before pushing it inside her again. One hand dropped to his head, holding him close as she rocked her hips against him. Hearing her panting breaths and breathless whispers, he shouldered her legs wider, pushing the same three fingers inside her. His mouth fastened on her clit, suckling hard on it as his hand thrust into her fast and hard. A long keening scream ripped from her as she came again, her body shuddering as he continued to drive his hand into her. Unable to stop it, her body released a flood of wetness all over his arm and chest. Even as her body still hummed and sparked, she blushed brightly and avoided looking at him.

Rising to his feet, he turned her head and kissed her hard. Her arm dropped from the rafter to his shoulders. Kissing him passionately, her body snuggled against his, her hips grinding against his. Pulling away, he pushed her towards the hot tub, slapping her ass soundly to urge her on. Glaring back at him, she stepped up and into the hot tub, her breath hissing as the hot water. Sinking in and settling into a corner, she watched as he turned off the lights and moved into the tub next to her. Pulling her int his arms, he settled back and pointed out the horizon to her. She looked out and grinned, lowering her head to his shoulder as they watched the sunset while they soaked.

"Okay, that was so worth the drive!" She sighed happily a half hour later as they climbed out of the hot tub and dried off. Hearing him snort rudely she looked back at him. Her eyes slid down his body and back up as a slow grin lit her face. "Oh trust me, being here with you is worth more, but that sunset made the drive with it...the rest is just...perfect." She said as she hugged him tightly. Kissing her quickly, he led her back inside and up the stairs. Snuggling into bed, she tucked her body against his, laying her head on his shoulder and draping a leg between his.

He missed her slight frown as he turned out the light. She moved restlessly against him as he kissed her forehead. Wrapping his arms around her, he quickly drifted off to sleep. She lay in his arms, awake and thinking for hours. Her body was still humming softly as she laid there listening to his breathing. Finally, frustrated and wanting to sleep, she rolled over and bit back a curse as he immediately rolled with her, his body fitting to ever curve of hers. She slowly began to relax her body calming and drifting off , when he moved against her, flexing his hips and rubbing a raging erection against her ass. Half asleep and blinded by exhaustion and fighting serious arousal issues of her own, she finally gave up on managing to sleep and carefully slid from the bed as the sun rose over the mountains.

Quietly picking up the larger of the two bags, she tip toed from the room and down the stairs. She quickly dressed, moving as quietly as possible. Barefoot, dressed in long skirt and soft tank top, she moved outside. She walked a full circuit of the porch, looking out over the property and staring at the scenery as the sun tried to burn the fog from the mountains. Stopping in long enough to slide her shoes on, she stepped off the porch and walked around the yard looking at the wildflowers that sat at the edge of the woods. She stood quietly, thinking and reflecting, her arms braced against a low branch when two arms suddenly snaked around her waist pulling her up against a hard body. Her soft scream echoed in the morning air as she tried to jerk away, her head snapping around.