I started seeing a new person a few days ago. He had a long car ride home from work ahead of him and I decided to keep him entertained, as much as I could given that I live in a collective and often run up against interruptions from curious cats and bemused roommates. The roommates don't join in. It's not that kind of story. I'm just easily distracted. Here's our unedited chat transcript:
Go ahead
I'm thinking
Goal is sending something moderately sexy while getting myself off. Limitations: it's got to be one handed and I'm not that good at Swyping. So I'm mostly dictating this. Good thing the roommates aren't home. Also, I might die of embarrassment first. Let's see.
I've taken off my pants because those majorly inhibit access to like anything fun.
Roommate interference
Sticking to Swype
Maybe I don't have to stop
I think it's Claudius
Went through Flower's room
[I lied. One edit. I changed my roomies' names because they're super distinctive. Oops. Otherwise I'm totally a reliable narrator. No, really. I was super pleased with how hard I came and thought this might help you too. If you were wondering if this was going to be all straight-laced romance or only hot smut, this interjection should give you a sense of the horny goofy sex posi feminist I am.]
But this cat might catch me yet
[The cat is named Klaus. I haven't changed his name because he's not as well-established in the community and he's totally an asshole who doesn't respect closed doors and boundaries. I'm done interrupting now though.]
I'm rubbing my clit
I've just remembered how sex stories work.
I've forgotten again because my phone keeps switching off to Wi-Fi and ruining the mood.
Anyways hand on clit and to be perfectly honest not getting wet quickly
Thinking about how you might be reading this and mildly straining against your pants.
Do you drive stick shift? I don't remember but i think not.
That means maybe you'll have a phone holder gizmo
And maybe you'll leave the phone in there and leave one hand wisely on the wheel
And maybe you'll use the other hand, I'm assuming the right, to shift your bulge, by which i mean your penis (do you have a preferred slang, cock or dick or boneshaker or whatever?), in a better position for discretely rubbing.
Your car is short and even though you've got wide lanes you probably won't take it out – whatever you call it. I could dare you.
But anyways, you'll shift to stroke it, probably through your pants
The thought of it has made me wetter
But it'll take more lusty thoughts
Im hard at a toll booth
I remember lying back
Hahaha
Spread out and spread eagle on the beanbag
Flying high on lust and marijuana
Let's take a moment to appreciate how lyrical my stream of consciousness sex prose is.
Your lips on my cunt.
I like cunt
And pussy
Vulva even
So your lips are on my cunt
I'm very wet now
Claudius is making lip smacking sounds at his cat
I am raising and twisting my hips
Bringing my soaking pussy up to meet the index and middle fingers of my right hand as they twitch back and forth
My hips are gyrating in a tilt a wheel fashion up to the right and down and around. A figure eight of fun
I love that you're going to cum while thinking about me
The roommates may have some sense that I'm fondling myself
I love that you've said that. It really turns me on.
But dictate be safe
I'm a lot wetter and it feels good to push my hands in a line
My fingers run on either side of my swollen clit
Describing it has heightened my observational powers.
Im pulsing my dick against my pants a little
You made me so hard
It's a long line, running from the top of my labia, still within my pussy lips to the bottom of my vaginal wall. Still staying outside
I'mimagining your hard dick, the shaft running across me
Spreading my pussy lips
But not entering me
Back to the tilt a wheel
And widening my hips
I'm only nominally not penetrating myself
Fuck it
I'm plunging my middle finger deep inside me
Slowly
I'm dripping on my beautiful clean sheets now
More fingers
You get so wet for me
I do
I'm thinking about your dick
It's a lot longer than my fingers
My finger cock won't stretch and fill me
I've moved it back to rubbing sweet circles around my clit
Itexcels at this
I bet your dick is feeling too small for your pants right now
It is
Wait
Youknew Edgar i meant
What i meant
The head is aching for some softer contact and less restraint
I'm rubbing all my fingers against my clit now, a wide plate like your tongue
I hope i finish in time for you
I'm liking this so much though
I'm not hurrying
My fingers are squelching
Cat cockblock and undesirable having to interact with roomies
Okay
I'm wondering how you'll manage your stiff dick
Will you come before you come home
Will you need to fuck yourself or fuck your girlfriend? I know she can make you hot but i bet it'll be great thinking of all the women who lust for you
[I lied again. One more interjection. I dunno. Maybe you get off on cheating fantasies. Maybe I should consider your boner. But I don't. And this isn't that. We're poly. It's consensual. And that's a huge turn-on for me. I like the idea of getting him revved up and sending him home. See I care about your boner. These transitional sentences are for you. New porn for your pleasure. So meta rn. I'm thinking about your cunt now. Or your cock. I'm thinking of YOUR dick hardening and straining against your pants as you think about fucking me. I dare you to take them off. I'm thinking about how wet you're getting now that I've finished that short clarification. Are you rubbing sweet circles on your clit now? Did I tell you how large and glorious my breasts are? They're really great and maybe you'll be holding them, teasing my nipples. Touch yourself for me. Tell me how hot you're getting.]
I think i need to come soon
Maybe i can come again
Sometimes it's harder without help
When i get back to my toybox I'll pull out my goodies
I think my satisfaction will have to wait
I have a pink rabbit because of the pervasive cultural influence of sex and the city and also because it is rechargeable with variable speeds and feels amazing
I'll slide it inside my ready cunt and wait a sec to turn it on
Just rub against it
Then turn it on slowly
Theears will pulse against my clit and I'll use my hands to pinch them tighter
In a very meta narrative the vibrator will substitute for your warm member
Are you going to cum for me?
And fuck that pussy
Cat that keeps opening my door
Okay yes
I'll come for you
I'm ramping up
Thinking of your face and how you're liking this
And your cock and your mouth
Imagine im pulling your hair and bit on your ear
And the way you'll be grabbing my hips next time
Biting
Yes
Just as i thought roomies ruined it i came
My ass clenched and my toes curled i
Raised my head back
And brought my hips high
Ibit my lip to still my cry
I'm still pulsing against my fingers
Good job
I'm bring on aftershocks
Thank you for your approval :/
Fuck it I'm going all in
I've flipped to my stomach where i can thrust down and wiggle my ass
I think about you pulling my hair back as I slam back into you faster and faster
Lemme know if i should stop. Check these whenever
I'm already back on the edge
But I'm thinking of you lubing a finger and teasing my asshole
While i keep swinging back and forth
Feeling you fill me completely and withdraw to the tip
Your cock is so warm and full
And so deep from behind
You press two fingers against my ass and it yields to you after a moment and a thrust
You hook them down and can feel your dick through the wall
This feels pretty great for both of us as you pump your fingers slowly in and out of my tight ass
Your cock is fairly slipping out of my wet pussy and you're eager to try anal
Slowly carefully with some extra lube on top of my own juices you're poised at the entrance
You push back against me as a reach back to guide your hip
It's long minutes between the time my ass first spreads for you and the time you reach your full length inside me. I've wiggled and inched my way to envelop you fully. .
At this point i imagine there's some satisfied sighing and awesome pleasure at the view and the sensation and tightness and fullness
You let me guide you out a little and push back in
A few slow thrusts and you take over excitedly but cautiously building speed
You pull back further each time until the flushed head of your penis is all that remains inside before you draw me back against you again.
It's really terrific.
Really great
So it isn't long before you – like me now though probably with more ejaculate given our relative anatomies shudder and come
You'll fall against my back and we'll sink into the mattress and leisurely separate
Though our hands will linger on my still pulsing clit
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