Confession Ch. 17-18

Chapter Seventeen.

The next few days were miserable. I just couldn't move past the melancholy that had come down over me. Geoff was being his usual self now, sullen and avoiding my company. I knew why of course but I just couldn't see how we were going to move past it. I found that I just didn't want to know anymore. Previously I would have fretted over it and wondered what I had done wrong but now I knew it wasn't something I had done, not that I am trying to plead innocence here. I know I am far from innocent but if we were both heading in this direction then clearly something was very wrong with our relationship.

I was missing Ben. Other than a few quick conversations with him that were interrupted by either Geoff or Cindy we really hadn't had a chance to discuss what had happened between us. I was beginning to panic and worry that it had all been a big mistake and that Ben would want to sever ties with me. On top of that Cathy hadn't been around yet because her husband was now home and hadn't gone back to work yet. Beth was missing her brother and as such spending more time away from home and out with her friends. It made me realize just how much time they did spend together.

It was such a shock to my system going from such a huge high to this depressing new low. I was just feeling miserable and that was even beginning to make me physically ill.

Chapter Eighteen.

In the two weeks after that life changing couple of days a number of things have happened.

The first was the news that Ben and Cindy were separating. To Geoff Ben was still quite courteous but told him that they were separating because Cindy had admitted to having an affair. When he told him Geoff's face went white and he was stammering for something to say for a few seconds before Ben let him off the hook by saying she hadn't said who she was having the affair with. The damage was done though and it was the final piece of evidence I needed. He looked around at me and although I said nothing the look on my face must have been enough for him to know I knew. The conversation ended quickly after that and Geoff went out on some pretense or other. No doubt he went out and called Cindy.

I called Ben back and after establishing he was okay we had a good chance to talk about our feelings. We came to the conclusion that no matter what happened society would never allow us to be together as a couple unless we moved to Antarctica or somewhere equally bleak, like Canberra. Neither of us wanted that either but we did agree that what happened wouldn't be the only time and that physically we both wanted each other. In fact just the memory of that time had us both shamelessly flirting again. Sadly we had to cut the call short though because Cindy had come back home. That didn't stop me sending him a picture of me naked and masturbating just as a tease. I was pretty happy to receive a return message; A lovely photo of his nice hard cock dripping pre-cum. Just the thought of it had me salivating.

The second thing was that Cathy had been back since her husband had returned to work. In fact she was back almost daily. We finally found enough time between making love to take some photos of her and I have to say that they are some of the most beautiful portraits I have ever taken. Some are erotic, although not all, and I believe that they show in some ways the love I am beginning to feel for her. We are both very happy with them. We often make love but it's very different. There is a lot of intimacy between us now. Not just physical intimacy but also in conversation. I often fantasize about running away with Cathy and when I have spoken of it with her she gets excited at the prospect.

The part that scared me the most was explaining about Ben to her. I just didn't know how she would take it. Let's face it, it's hardly considered acceptable in society. It reached a moment where I felt I would have to tell her because it was a make or break scenario and I felt that if I got any more attached to her and I lost her it would hurt too much. So one day she arrived at my front door in her usual style, bare assed naked wearing little more than a big grin. I smiled back and hugged her and although I was trying not to stress about it it must have shown on my face. We sat down for our usual coffee.

"Okay time to spill the beans. What's bothering you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"It is to me. What's going on?"

"I just want you to know some things before we go any further."

"Oh okay. That sounds ominous."

"Do you think what we're doing is alright?"

"Well, it's certainly something I have been giving a lot of thought lately. Is it right for our husbands to be strung along like this? Probably not and if you feel about me the way I feel about you then the time is coming soon where something is going to have to give."

"Yeah I think you're right and for what it's worth you know I have fallen in love with you don't you?"

"Yeah I do and I love you too. Makes it hard doesn't it."

"Yeah. Does it bother you that I am still attracted to Ben?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Well are you attracted in the sense that you want to run off with him and have his baby? Or are you attracted to him in the sense that you want to fuck him from time to time when he comes to visit?"

There were a couple of underlying things going on here. I could sense it but it was hard to pinpoint exactly what she meant. So I focused on the part that came to mind first and that is I believed she was telling me something without telling me.

"When you say "when he comes to visit" you mean you know he will be back to visit sometime right?"

"Well I should think so being your brother."

She said it very matter of fact like and as though it was no big deal but I could see there was tension in her body language as well. It looked like she was about to crush the coffee cup with nervous energy. I was terrified.

"You knew?"

"I've known all along. I was just waiting for you to tell me. It's not the sort of thing you can just bring up in conversation you know."

My mind was flooded by a mixture of strange feelings. She knew all along and yet she still fell in love with me? Was she going to run away? Was she going to tell anyone?

"I wish I had told you earlier. How did you know?"

"I understand why you haven't told me until now but like you said, the time has come. The day he arrived I was in the front yard and I heard Beth talking to you about Uncle Ben and how she wanted to be here to see him. Then when I first saw him I realized he had to be your brother because he and Geoff are polar opposites in looks whereas I can see the family resemblance in you. So one plus one equals two, he is your brother."

"Oh."

"It's okay you know. I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"You must have thought I was a real sicko when you saw Ben and I in the backyard."

"Was it unexpected? Absolutely. Was it hot as fuck watching you two go at it? Seriously, one of the hottest things I have ever witnessed."

I remembered back to the first time Cathy and I had made love and just how wild and turned on she had been about what she had witnessed. Knowing that she knew that Ben and I were siblings and that turned her on just wound my libido up at least two notches. I smiled nervously at her and she smiled back. She then stood up and hugged me to her chest.

"Thank you."

I'm not entirely sure what I was thanking her for. Her understanding, her like mindedness, her compassion, her love or all of the above.

"You still haven't answered my question though."

"What question?"

"Are you going to run off with him and have his baby or are you going to run off with me?"

I laughed.

"Why are you so fixated on me having his baby?"

Cathy looked at me like she thought I was joking for a moment then a look of understanding went across her face.

"Oh honey, haven't you figured it out yet? I have seen the changes in your body already. I assumed this was why you were so stressed about all this. Haven't you done a test?"

My mind was really reeling now. What she was saying made no sense. A test? A pregnancy test? Why would I do a pregnancy test? I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I haven't had a child in sixteen years.

Then it dawned on me. I haven't had a child or pregnancy in that long because Geoff had had a vasectomy. Cindy couldn't have kids so Ben never needed to worry about that. I was feeling different and I had been feeling a bit ill but I had just been putting that down to hormonal changes due to the sudden increase in sexual activity. The real clincher though was the fact that I should be having a period this week and I chose to ignore the fact that it hadn't happened yet, hell I was even celebrating it being late because it gave me more time for fun with Cathy. I felt like the floor had just dropped out from beneath me and I was tumbling through space. There was a buzzing in my ears that was just getting louder and more persistent and my vision was strangely going red.

Next thing I knew I was being shaken and Cathy was looking scared at me.

"What? What happened? Why am I down here?"

"Are you okay? Do you feel alright?"

I couldn't understand why I was on the floor. One minute I was talking to Cathy the next I was looking up into her worried eyes.

"I guess so. I feel a bit woozy but I'm okay. I don't understand what happened."

"We were talking about you possibly being pregnant and you just collapsed."

It all came crashing back down onto me. I began hyperventilating again.

"Oh my god Cathy what am I going to do?"

"I don't know but together we'll figure something out."

So you see readers I have what you might call a predicament. One in which I stand to both lose and gain. I genuinely feel for all involved and the ways it may affect them depending on how much of the truth comes out but as I said at the start of this I don't feel any remorse for my own actions.