Crystal's Chandeliers

The months inevitably rolled by. Tours of the States and Canada with Wonder and Sally in tow followed the publication of the second novel in the series. Sometime later these were repeated to coincide with the release of the film of the first book. Then there was a trip down to the Antipodes for a book signing tour there. It looked to all the world like I'd made it; I was an established figure in children's literature and in adult poetry. But why wasn't I happy with my lot?

It was my mother who gave me the first hint of what was wrong in my life. She, my dad and sister had gone along with Wonder, Sally and I to New Zealand. Mother had distant relations there and she had been looking forward to finally meeting. I was off most of the time doing my book signing and interviewing thing.

I'm not sure how it worked out but one evening Mother and I were walking on the beach together alone. I really can't remember where everyone else was. Walking a little ways in front of Mother and I were a young couple, obviously very much in love with each other.

"I wonder when one of my girls is going to find herself a husband?" Mother mused. "You're both well into your twenties now, and neither one of you has shown any signs of settling down with a nice boy. I don't suppose I'll ever be a grandmother if you two have anything to do with it."

"Come on, Mother. There aren't that many nice boys about nowadays. I suppose I'll run into the right one one-day though."

"What about all those handsome men you get photographed with at all those parties? Surely some of them must be nice."

"God, Mother, most of them are so shallow I wouldn't give them the time of day. They hang around me because they know the photographers will be taking my picture and that will get them into the newspaper. If they are really lucky, they might even get a mention in a gossip column. Either that, or a lot of them think they are going to get into my knickers; I'd just be another notch on their belt to some of those film stars."

"Crystal, you shouldn't talk like that!"

"It's the truth, Mother. You've got to face it whether you like it or not. I'm rich now and beautiful as well, so they tell me. I've got just about every handsome young gold digger in England and some from the US as well, who are trying to get me into bed or throw a rope on me. If they aren't wolves or gold diggers after my money, then they are rich men who want a trophy wife and there's no bloody way I intend to be anybody's trophy. I can't trust any of them, Mother!"

"What about that Lord whatever-his-name-was that you were talking to at the reception the other evening. He's handsome and he's a Lord; he had certainly taken a shine to you."

"And he's stony-broke, Mother. I overheard him complaining to some guy that when his father dies, he's going to have to sell the family estates just to pay the death duties. No, all little Lord Fauntleroy was seeing in me was bleeding pound signs, that I can assure you."

"You've turned into a cynic, Crystal!"

"Yes, Mother, I think I have; I really don't know who I can trust nowadays. And to tell you the truth, I don't think I'm a very happy person either."

The rest of our time in New Zealand was a long round of book signings in little towns, interviews and visits to Mother's long lost relatives. Mother was right; I had turned into a cynic. I even thought that all most of her relatives wanted was to be photographed with the famous author, and my autograph of course. I signed so many; I figured they were running a black market in them.

From New Zealand, my family flew home and my little entourage went on to Australia, for more of the usual. We dropped into the States for a couple of TV appearances there. Of course, Wonder and Sally fitted in a couple of book signings and a reception in Hollywood. We finished up that night at a film star's home for a party, where as usual, I was propositioned by some little twerp who thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Oh, he didn't come and say it but I could read those egotistical sods' minds by then.

God, I was completely shattered when we climbed on the plane the following day. It was a relief to fly home to England again, and return to the grind of writing. The grind! See, I had become a different person. I'd always enjoyed writing in the past; by then, it had become a chore that I had to do.

One morning I just couldn't face doing any writing. I put on my old jeans and the wig that, together with my dark glasses, sometimes allowed me to go out in public to get some shopping done, without being recognised and asked for autographs all the time. And then I drove over to the next town; people didn't expect to see me in the shopping centre there, so they were less likely to spot me.

I wondered around fairly aimlessly and brought some odds and ends. Really I didn't know what I wanted to buy; I was just wasting time. As I passed a music shop I heard a familiar song playing. I didn't think about it. I went into the shop to listen to the rest of Crystal Chandeliers. Damn, it reminded me of sitting in the Smithy watching Rocky hammering away on that anvil.

I had been happy then; I had nothing. Well, no fame and not much money, but that was all that I'd needed. I'd had my writing and it had been fun to do back then, not the chore that it had become for me recently. I didn't have to put up with all those stuck up freaks at those damned parties either. And I knew that no one was going to try and get into my knickers at the first opportunity.

I bought the CD that had been playing in the shop and played Crystal Chandeliers in the car repeatedly, as I drove to my mother's house. I started thinking back over what had happened to me in the last couple of years and I really didn't like who I had become. Then for no real reason, things jumped into my head. When Brief had negotiated that first contract with Sally he'd referred to me as "Rocky's girl" and then I remembered House saying in my kitchen that day that Rocky wasn't the same guy, now that I wasn't around the Smithy anymore.

Christ, was I missing Rocky? Was Rocky missing me? Oh, god, did I love Rocky, was that what was wrong with my life, I'd walked away from someone I loved?

Then things began to make sense, the way the guys looked towards Rocky, before they refused to give me a ride on they're motorbikes. Rocky standing outside the Smithy when Prof brought me back that day. And none of the guys ever trying to chat me up. Look, I'm a beautiful woman, everybody tells me so. So why had none of those guys ever tried to ask me to go out with them. There was only one reason that I could think of and that was that Rocky was sweet on me.

But why had he not ever said anything to me. Ah, just a damned minute, my father! I remembered when we were having a row about me spending time at the Smithy. I'd said to Dad that I was eighteen and could choose my own friends. Dad had said something about he wished they hadn't lowered the age limits. No one under the age of twenty-one had the sense or experience to choose their own friends.

And one last thing! "Your father wouldn't like it." Rocky had said when I asked him to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. Daddy must have spoken to Rocky about me. Bugger, I'll bloody kill him.

"Mother, I think I know what's been bugging me lately," I said to her as I stormed into the house.

"Oh? And what's that, dear? Come in the kitchen and I'll make some tea." I don't think Mother was really listening and she'd become used to my strange moods by then.

"Mother, this is serious. I've known something was wrong for a long time now and I haven't been able to figure out what it was."

"And you know now, dear?"

"Yes, Mother, I think I'm in love."

"Oh, good, Crystal. Who's the lucky man?"

"Rocky!"

My mother turned to look at me with a strange expression on her face.

"Oh dear, I think you've left it a little too late for Stuart, Crystal. I believe he's spoken for."

"Why, makes you think that?"

"Well, he's always got that Janice girl with him whenever I see him in the Smithy."

"She works for him, Mother. She's there like I was always there."

"Yes, but she's wearing an engagement ring now and the other day I saw them kiss each other. They both had big smiles on their faces, just like that couple we saw in New Zealand. You remember that evening?"

"Oh," I think I said.

And there's something else, dear. Janice is pregnant! She's not showing much yet but I know, I've always been able to tell. I'm sorry, Crystal."

My heart sank. Rocky had fallen for Janice; well, she was a beautiful girl. She must have broken up with Poke and being together with Rocky all day everyday. Well, I guess it was bound to happen, two wonderful people together.

"Never mind, dear. There are plenty more fish in the sea!" my mother said to me. Sometimes my mother could be so bloody dense. Christ, she seemed to have no idea how I felt at all.

I'm not sure how long I sat there crying, before I decided to take myself home. Mother wasn't really any comfort to me so there was no sense in me staying there. Now if it had been my sister sitting there, I'm sure Mother's reaction would have been different. But I was supposed to be the strong successful one nowadays.

As I drove past the Smithy, I saw that Janice and Rocky were outside dealing with customers. Janice saw me and waved as she called to Rocky to alert him to my presence. There was no way that I was in any condition to speak to them. I knew that if stopped to talk to them I would break down and cry, so I drove straight home.

Angela was just about ready to go home herself, when I arrived back at my house. She could see that I was upset, and I think it upset her that I wouldn't tell her why. I insisted that she leave me alone and after giving me a whole bunch of messages that had come in during the day she finally left.

Once alone, I did something I've never done before, I went to my drinks cabinet. I keep it well stocked for when I have visitors. Grabbing the ice bucket, a bottle of Martini, a glass and tucking another bottle of Martini under my arm. I headed for my bedroom where I intended to get very drunk, something I'd never actually done before. I've never been one to drink very much but I figured if the first bottle didn't do the job the second surely would.

"Oh, well," I thought, "There's a first time for everything. Perhaps the next time some guy wants to fuck me I'll let him do that as well. I might as well try everything before I drink myself to death."

Because that's what I thought I would most likely finish up doing. I doubt I wouldn't really have drunk myself to death, I'm not even sure it's possible to do it anyway. But that's how the mind works when you're feeling really down.

I'd drunk nearly all the first bottle. I think I'd passed out and was sleeping it off when I heard the doorbell ringing. Just like you see the drunks do in the films, I shouted for whoever-it-was to "go away". A completely stupid thing to do, as no one could ever hear me outside the front door, all that distance away from my bedroom.

That bloody doorbell kept on ringing, apparently whoever it was had no intention of going away until I answered it. So in the end, cursing loudly I struggled off of the bed and almost fell down the stairs to open the door, where I found my father standing there leaning against the bell push. He pushed past me and went into the hall.

"Your mother tells me that you were upset earlier. Well, I've got someone out there who'd like a word with you. You never know. Meeting him might cheer you up," my father said as he did so.

"I don't want to see or talk to anyone, Dad."

"Crystal, you don't look too steady on your feet, girl. You haven't been tying one on, have you?"

"Leave me alone, Dad. I'm a big girl now and if I want to get drunk, I can. I've had some very bad news today and I'm drowning my sorrows."

"That's funny. This friend of mine's had some good news today. You know he's had nothing but good news lately..."

"Dad, please just leave me alone. I'm not feeling talkative, I told you."

"You haven't got to talk, Crystal, just listen. This friend of mine has got a girl who works for him and she told him the other day that she was going to have a baby. Both her and her fiancé are over the moon about it. They are getting married in a couple of weeks. Anyway he gave her a congratulatory kiss in celebration and guess whose silly mother saw them and got completely the wrong idea. I've always told her to get her facts right before she says anything."

In my drunken haze, I was having difficulty following what my father was saying and I suppose I must have looked confused.

"Christ, Crystal, you always have made it damned hard to surprise you. Janice is marrying her boyfriend, Poke, not Stuart."

"But Mum said...."

"Blimey, surely you know better than to listen to your mother by now. She always manages to get hold of the wrong end of the stick somehow and talks nonsense half the time. Haven't you realised that by now? Crystal, Stuart is out in the car. Shall I ask him to come in?"

"Oh, Christ, no! I can't have him see me like this."

"Like what?" Rocky's voice came from behind me. "I should imagine I'll see you in a far worse state than that, after we're married," he said, putting his arms around my waist. Firmly Rocky turned me around to face him and lent down to kiss me.

"I think I'll leave you two to it," my father said, as he went out the door. Then he stuck his head back inside again. "Stuart, don't let her get away again, lad."

"I won't, Dad," Rocky replied.

"Oh, and Stuart."

"Yes, Dad."

"You're not married, yet remember."

"Yes, Dad, I'll remember that too. Good night."

"And you can cut out that dad crap until after you've got that ring on her finger as well! I always told her mother that you were going to be trouble." My father closed the door and left.

If you're wondering, Rocky did try to keep his word to my father, but I overruled him on that.

I sold my house and moved into Forge House with Rocky when were married two months later and I'm now back to writing in the Smithy again. Angela and Janice still work for us, but Janice will go part time after she's had the baby. The plan is that Angela will take over Rocky's work and still do some typing and proofreading for me. Janice and I will kind of help out and baby sit for each other, when my baby is born.

Strangely I don't find the fans the nuisances that they seemed to be when I first became famous. But that could be because I've got used to them being around now. Rocky and I don't bother with most of the parties and receptions I get invited to. My fans read my books; they don't need to see me in the news all the time.

One thing I'll never be able to understand is the way Dad and Rocky seem to get on together now. The biggest shock I got was when I heard my father and some of the other boys discussing the relative merits of the original Triumph Bonneville, against the ones the boys ride today. And I overheard mother say to Sylvia one day, "Oh god, I thought he'd grown out of motorbikes years ago. The silly old sod will be wanting to buy another one for himself next."

Life goes on.