Cupid's Big Break

* * * *

Cupid stared at the room he'd landed in. The same secretary sat behind a desk, but that was all that remained of the room that had once been the Devil's waiting room. The walls were painted a soft pink glow, the thickly shagged carpeting was now a nice clean, streamlined Berber in a tawny beige. The heavy furniture was now light oak with curves and graceful lines. A huge floral arrangement sat on a table in the middle of the room, a frilly taupe colored doily protecting the table's glossy surface. Beautiful landscapes graced the softly colored walls.

Eva sat behind a small Louis the XIII desk, her hair pulled back sharply from her baby doll features, giving her a more professional look. The old fashioned clothing was gone, now replaced with a dark navy suit and a light blue silk blouse that just hinted at the cleavage beneath. Sensible shoes and sturdy pantyhose replaced the silk hose and strappy sandals.

"He's waiting for you," Eva said quietly. "We're all waiting for you. You've got to fix what that woman is trying to do to Hell. Please," she pleaded quietly. "It's too livable down here now. People aren't screaming, no one is tortured. We can't stand it."

Eva showed him into Satan's inner sanctum, a room that was, as yet, unchanged from his previous visit. Lucifer stood as the door was opened, and hurried across the soft shag rug. His eyes were huge, and Cupid could almost swear he saw tears in them. His clothing was different, no longer the flamboyant gangster styling with the wide lapels and big ties. He was dressed in sleekly pleated slacks in a dark gray and a soft rose colored sweater. His hair, once long and luxurious, had been trimmed and was now cut above his ears.

"You've got to help me, Cupid. You've got to take her home, get her out of here, please."

"Who?"

Just then, a commotion arose outside the door, a loud voice spluttered in frenzied German as Eva loyally tried to defend her boss's door. It was pushed open and she fell into the room, stumbling as she stuttered apologies to the Dark Lord himself.

"It's okay, Eva, go back to your desk." He stood, as if ready for battle against a horde of screaming angels, and faced his enemy.

"Lucifer, darling. I've missed you this morning. You ran out before I even had a chance to see you." Martha came into the room, her hair curled, make-up done. She was wearing a skirt and blouse, a pair of low heels on her feet. Behind her trailed a line of assistants, each kowtowing to the blonde diva.

The devil stood and allowed her to kiss him on the cheek, even though he flinched back slightly from the contact. "What are you doing in here, Martha? You aren't allowed into my office and you know that."

She touched his cheek with her hand and sent an order over her shoulder. Two of the assistants rushed to start measuring the room, another went to the paintings on the walls and started to remove them, stacking them haphazardly in a pile by the door.

"This is the only room left in the castle to finish, my love. Don't worry, the painters are coming in later this afternoon. I thought an aubergine. Which I know is kind of dark, darling. But with your complexion, you can pull it off. You'll look so stately sitting in the leather chair that I'm having made for you. And I thought some floral scenes on the walls, it'll humanize you some and then everyone won't fear you so much."

"Humanize me? Woman, I am a God. And they're supposed to fear me!"

"Well, truthfully, Satan, actually you aren't anything more than an angel," Cupid piped in, enjoying the events unfolding before him. This was a definite case of beware of what you wish for.

"Shut up, you pamper wearing pansy." Lucifer turned his black eyes upon the small cherub.

"We have a guest? And you didn't tell me? I must look a fright." Martha hurried forward, holding her hand out to Cupid, knuckles up to be raised to his lips. He complied reluctantly.

"And how rude of me, I will get the kitchen staff to work right away, you must stay for dinner, Cupid." She smiled down at him. "It's edible now, since I cleaned out his cupboards. The man had skulls and human parts in his freezer." She chuckled, "Now if you'll excuse me, I must get these people started. I'd like to have this mostly done before dinner. Oh, and Lucy, the carpet layers will be here today also. It's not Berber, even though I told you it wore so much better than that awful shag you had in here. But I'll surprise you."

She bent and kissed Cupid's cheek and then bustled across the room.

"So Lucy, purple, huh?"

"Help me." Lucifer almost fell into his chair. "I can't do this, no one respects me anymore. They all look up to her. She's got me wearing..." he gestured down to his clothing, "and calling me Lucy. People are happy down here, Cupid. Happy!" He buried his face in his hands. "If we'd wanted them happy they could have gone to heaven! She's taken over my hell. I have lace in my bedroom!" He buried his face deeper and groaned.

"But you love her, Satan, remember?"

"No," he looked up and shook his head vehemently. "No, I couldn't love... that," he pointed at where she was moving a small table to get to the wall and the edge of the carpet. "She has a team of assistants that are with her everywhere, even our bedroom. They watch everything, I mean everything. She had her director brought in, Cupid. He watched us have sex." He took a huge breath and let it out in a long sigh. "He critiqued my performance for her."

"So how did you do?" Cupid hopped up in the leather chair across from the desk and crossed his tiny legs, settling in comfortably.

"That's not the point." He sighed again. "The point is, you have got to get her out of here. I can't take anymore. I'm about to go good just to get away from here."

"Well, now, that would be a shame, Satan no longer evil," he tried to hide his grin. "The news would be in every news rag and gossip column around the world. Though I doubt anyone would believe it." He tapped his small fingers against his chin. "I can't take her back, Satan."

"What?! No, no you have to take her back. I'll beg, I'll get down on my knees."

"Chill, dude." He smirked. "I've always wanted to say that. I can't take her back to earth. She's wanted by the law, and it's your fault."

"I know God can do something about that."

"But why would he want to? Look at the trouble you've put us all through even after we gave you what you thought you wanted. I think we need a token of faith. Release the islanders and let them take care of the Love. The we'll discuss the rest."

"Okay, and then you'll take Martha out of here?"

"Have you never heard of faith?"

"Okay, okay." Satan snapped his fingers.

* * * *

And on an island, somewhere in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, a cry was sent up. The men rushed towards the jungle, erect penises bobbing between the grass of their skirts. Blue vines waved in the breeze, anxious to stroke and caress, to pleasure and to feed. The woman tore off their clothing, which, admittedly, was not a large task, leaving themselves clad in their beads as they too, rushed towards the jungle. They hurried towards the hugely swollen balls of the Love, slipping between the passion filled petals to do some stroking and caressing of their own. And as the first of the women, covered in pink dusted spunk, washed in the ocean, Cupid's arrows turned bright red.

* * * *

"Very nice, Satan. Now, as to what it will take to get her out of here..."

Satan heard a crash and saw his curio cabinet pushed over, his complete set of "Murderers Throughout the Centuries" collector plates in pieces all over the floor.

"Anything," he said.

"Okay, then, I think you've controlled the Roman Catholic Church long enough. We'd like to release your hold on the 23,000 priests, 17 bishops, and 2 cardinals who sold their souls to you."

"What? No, no way." Satan shook his head. Martha came up holding one of the plates, the only one that made it through the crash intact.

"I'm sorry about those old plates, darling. But look, I managed to save on..." The plate slipped through her grasp and shattered on the edge of his desk. "Oops."

Satan cringed at the sound and looked down at the shattered remains of Ted Bundy's face. He'd had that plate autographed when Ted had finally made it down here.

"You got it," he said to Cupid. "Whatever it takes." A document flashed in front of him and Satan signed it. "Anything else?"

"No, I think that should do it for now. You have to have some evil to offset the good." He got out of his chair and walked towards Martha, who was directing the removal of the heavy leather couches. He touched her arm and as she looked down at him. He nodded at Satan. A flick of Lucifer's wrist, a spark, and suddenly, they were back on earth.

Cupid could see the changes almost immediately. Where earlier people hadn't cared at all about others, now life seemed to go on the way it had before Love's almost-demise.

"Where's my Lucy?" Martha asked from beside him.

Cupid calmly drew his bow and shot another of his arrows into the Domestic Diva. It struck and went through her skin, into her heart, and disappeared.

"Come on, Martha, let's take you to your new home."

* * * *

Cupid stood at the entrance of the Lord's sanctum and watched the huge doors swing in. God met him before he'd made it halfway through the mammoth room.

"Cupid, well done, well done, indeed. I'm so impressed. Getting us back those members of the church, such a wonderful inspired plan. I couldn't have done better myself."

"Thank you, Sir. Love is healthy and everything seems back to normal."

"Yes, it is, thanks to you." He gestured towards a chair, seating himself in the other. "So, my son, what boon can I give you for a job well done?"

"Oh, nothing Lord. I'd just like to go back to work. My regular job," he hastened to add.

"There's nothing else you want, my son?" God stroked his chin.

"No, just to go back to work. It's my duty and my pleasure to help you, Lord."

"Good man, I mean angel. Okay, and thank you." God rose and Cupid hurried toward the doors of his office.

"Oh, Cupid, by the way, what did you do with Martha?"

"Oh, she's around here somewhere, Lord. I'm sure she'll show up."

The doors closed slowly behind him and he took a few steps away. Suddenly he heard raised voices inside the room. "Martha? What are you doing under my desk? Get out of there now. Martha, stop that. Martha, no! CUPID!"

Cupid burst out laughing and kept walking, the doors fading behind him until they were shrouded in a soft pink glow. He felt a smooth slim hand touch his shoulder and looked over.

Hope bent and kissed the little Angel on the mouth, straightening as he lifted himself upward with a flutter of his wings. Her tongue caressed his lips and then inside of them, her hands slid over the wispy hair of his head. "I missed you, stud," she said when he let her go. She glanced down at the front of his diaper and saw the small tent. "And I'd say you missed me too."

"Definitely, Hope."

She took his hand and they headed towards the entrance that would lead them to earth. "Did you get Martha settled?"

Cupid couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. "Yeah, you could say that. The last time I saw her, she was on her knees, saying prayers of thanksgiving to the Almighty." He cocked his small head, hearing just the hint of shouts behind him. The entrance loomed ahead, shining with the colors of the sun setting below. Reds, oranges and deep purples poured out, welcoming them back to the earth they both loved. He pulled her forward eagerly and they stepped through the doorway filled with colored light and disappeared from sight.

*****

I need to thank a very important person, Nyte, you make me a better writer with your hard work and dedication to my career, not only with the editing part but also in the creative venue. And even when I cry and whine, mope and bitch, you calmly kick my ass and get me back on track. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me.