Dear Diary

Dear Diary

The pride and joy of my life, Emily, was born on January 7, 1993 to my wife Julie and me. And it was my joy to see her graduate High School in 2011. Our lives were rocky, though, during those 18 years. In 2006, I lost my wife, Julie. She was taken suddenly in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. It was a very difficult time for both me and my thirteen-year-old daughter, Emily. Julie had been working late the night it happened, while I stayed home with Emily. We received a call from the police... and immediately went to the hospital where she was pronounced dead on arrival.

I never expected to go from being in a happy family... to suddenly being a single father. And being a single father to a teenage girl was very difficult. There was no other family on either my side or Julie's to help. Both of our parents had died and neither one of us had any siblings. So it was just Emily and me.

I was lucky that Julie had taught Emily a lot of what it took to be a woman. I don't know if I could have explained to her about periods, tampons, makeup, and all that. My role was luckily left to being the shoulder to cry on, the protector, and the provider. I worked long and hard to be in that role, sacrificing my own social life for the most part. Sure, I was lucky every now and then and was set up on a date, but they never really panned out. And Emily was so needy then that I felt bad about leaving her.

As Emily grew into a full-fledged teenager, however, she became more and more difficult to deal with. It was as if her hormones were always getting the better of her. She was rebellious, often times directly challenging and going against my authority, making me have to punish her. She was dressing more and more like a slut, especially as her body developed her curves. And she was definitely her mother's child... her curves are impressive. Her shorts and jeans got tighter, and her shirts and skirts got shorter. More than once, I had to force her to change her clothes before she went out. And more than once I had to chastise her for walking around the house practically naked, wearing only a towel.

I threatened her on more than one occasion, when I'd just about had enough, to throw her over my knee and spank her. I told her that if she was going to act like a little girl then I was going to treat her like one. Defiantly she seemed to just stand there, daring me to do it. But I always caved in and just sent her to her room, grounding her.

When she graduated high school, in 2011, she decided she didn't want to go to college just yet. She wanted to just live at home and have some fun. We argued all the time about her not working, her not helping around the house, her not going to school, her being on the computer or her phone all the time. I was working twelve-hour days, then having to come home and clean and cook for her. At nineteen I thought she was just going to throw her life away rather than actually expand herself and become the woman I knew she could be.

She was getting so difficult that one day when she went out with friends, I snuck into her room to look for some evidence of something... drugs... I didn't know... something that would explain this all to me. I did a cursory search, looking under the bed, searching through her bookshelf, digging through her dresser drawers, looking everywhere I could think that she might hide something.

The dresser drawers were not the place I should have looked, though. I think that was the beginning of my downfall. It was Saturday, October 6, 2012, when Emily was nineteen.

When I opened of of her drawers I was confronted with her panties. Without even thinking twice, I slid my hands into the silky material searching for drugs. I felt my fingertips slip against something hard and plastic and when I pulled it out I almost jumped... it was a vibrator. I looked at it for far too long, almost envisioning her using it... of her sucking on it... of her moaning as she came... but then I shook my head to clear it and put it back. The lingerie then shocked me next as the silky softness caressed my hands. I lifted a pair of panties from the drawer, a black lace thong, with only a small black triangle in the front covering her... her... I closed my eyes, just trying to flush these thoughts from my mind, but they were only made stronger.

In my mind's eye, I watched her putting on her panties... of her pulling them up her long legs and sliding them over her hips... of her adjusting the strap between her ass cheeks... the thin panel covering her... her pussy. I shivered, knowing just how wrong these thoughts were. I tossed the panties back into the drawer and noticed something shining from beneath the pile of material. When I parted the panties, several DVDs were stacked inside the back corner inside the drawer, homemade one's with a simple white envelopes covering them.

I could feel my throat dry up and reached down to pick up them up, but pulled away as if hit by an electrical shock. I couldn't look at them... not yet anyways. I'd already done too much. I slipped out of her room and closed the door.

My mind was reeling over what I'd just done and what I'd just found. I went in to find drugs and came out seeing Emily as a sexual being. I'd never thought of her having sex before, but I guess she was that age. I couldn't confront her over it, but it still concerned me. What concerned me more, however, was the fact that she dominated my mind at that point, seeing her in a whole new light... seeing her as a sexual, sensual, desirable woman.

Her rebellion continued for the next month, but I had lost my edge and my fight. I was even less likely to punish her for what she was doing and saying. The way she was dressing now just drove me crazy. I think she knew it, too, but I wasn't sure. She'd walk around in just a towel and I couldn't even look at her any more. The thought of what was under that towel just dominated my mind.

When she went out that weekend, I snuck back into her room again, looking around. I walked to her dresser first, and looked in her panty drawer, finding her vibrator and the DVDs still there. I looked at her night stand and saw her diary sitting on top. I stared at it for a moment, wondering if I should invade the private thoughts of my own daughter like that. I closed the drawer and picked up the book, still wrestling with the morality of what I was about to do. I sat on her bed and opened it up. Inside were a few folded notes and pictures, what looked like things from her friends, and many entries, dating back several years.

I thumbed through it a moment, seeing if anything caught my eye... and in just a page or two one did.

==================== Wednesday, February 16, 2012

Dear Diary, I really want to fuck an older man again. Fucking John last night was just lame! For a fucking 18-year-old you'd think he'd know where a clit was and what it was for!!

After I lost my virginity in May, on June 17, 2011 I got my second chance. It was while I was on vacation. At 18 years old, that strange surge of energy awoke in me a new desire, to express myself through my body. A deep seated craving to experience the sensation of the kiss, the caress, the touch on my skin. People often ask me how I feel when I have sex. I know that my sex life is damaging and that many men only want me for sex. But I like that. I like that men and women find me desirable. I like that they want to please me and be pleased by me... even if it's for no other reason than pleasure itself.

My first lover was an older man, on vacation himself. He was so incredibly gentle with me as he laid me down and licked all over my body, slowly undressing me. I was shivering with need, and felt his every caress like it was directly on my clit. I remember when he hugged me from behind, one hand on my breast, toying with my nipples while the other played with my pussy. His lips and teeth nibbled at my neck and ear as his finger slid into me for the first time.

His fingers seemed so long, sliding so deeply into me. I never knew sex could feel this incredible! Then he gently laid me on my back and put my legs on his chest. His cock was the biggest thing I'd ever seen and didn't know how it could ever fit inside me, but it did. And it felt so incredible! I don't know how many times I came, far too many to count. He pulled out of me at one point and masturbated, while he looked down at me. I couldn't believe how erotic it was! When he came on my stomach, his warm cum dripping on my bare skin, his face showing his pure, unadulterated pleasure from me, his incredible desire for me, I was the happiest person ever!

It was the most incredible night in my life. One I want to relive over and over again. Oh Diary, I want MORE, with someone who knows what he's doing! ====================

I remembered the vacation she was talking about, but I didn't remember anyone else being around. We had left for the Outer Banks for two weeks that summer, and as I remembered, we had an incredible time together. It was the first real vacation we had taken since Julie's death and it was one of the first times I really saw Emily smile again.

Seeing that entry shocked me... and frankly made me a little angry, a little jealous, and a little horny. She was only eighteen at the time... and he should have known better. But every thought turned to how she looked in her passion, how her mouth would be open with each panting gasp of pleasure, how her juices would have soaked the bed beneath her, how her body would convulse time and time again as she came.

I turned page after page, with most entries being thoughts about sex. I could easily tell she was a very sexually active girl. Many of the entries were about boys she wanted to fuck or about fantasies she had while masturbating. These were entries that I expected from a hormone-flooded teenager. But when I came upon an entry she made right at the end of her Senior year of High School, I was floored. My daughter was a little sex fiend.

==================== Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dear Diary, I fucked Mr. Masterson after school today and finally lost my virginity. He's been looking at my tits and ass all year long... not that I've minded at all... and I did kinda help him look...

I'm 18 now... who cares... I'm going to enjoy myself!

Teasing him like that all year long made me so fucking hot! I love driving guys crazy, until all they can think about is to just throw me down and fuck me!

Does that make me a slut? Do I fucking even care?!?!

I decided to play it just like in the porn videos, trading an A in the class for sex... but I don't really care about the grade. I just wanted to fuck him!! I slipped into his classroom during the last period, while he was working at his desk. After some stupid conversation, I started unbuttoning my blouse, asking him if he liked my tits, while I played with them. He was like a little puppy dog, just watching me, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I wasn't going to waste that tongue, that's for sure!

I decided to be forceful and pushed him down to the floor. I put my pussy on his face first, grinding it into his mouth so his tongue was forced up deep inside me, and rode that to two orgasms, before moving down to his big cock and stuffing it into my pussy and riding that to three more. He kept whimpering and begging that he needed to cum. It felt so empowering that he wanted to cum so bad, but I wouldn't let him, not until I was ready. He was like my little sex toy!

His cock was so hard when I finally let him stand there, stroking it for me, while I knelt below it with my mouth open. I wanted to look like the biggest slut I could... I wanted his cum in my mouth!

And he didn't disappoint at all! My mouth was so fucking full of cum! MMMMMM! It tasted so good! I opened it wide and swirled my tongue around, just like the girls in porn do it... just to show him how much I loved cum.

Now I'm sorry I didn't fuck him sooner! Ooooh, what a cock! ====================

I think Mr. Masterson was her history teacher, one of the teachers that she seemed to talk about a lot. Now I knew why! I was a little relieved that she didn't sleep her way all the way through High School, but it was still disturbing. I had a quick thought to go to the school board and have Mr. Masterson fired, but that would mean Emily would know I looked at her diary. No, there wasn't much I could do about it without causing harm to myself. And she wasn't there any longer, so I wasn't as concerned.

Emily graduated in June and I remember shaking hands will all of her teachers... I tried to remember if I shook Mr. Masterson's hand or not, trying to remember what he looked like. But nothing was coming to mind. I flipped through a few more pages, just skimming, really. But another entry caught my eye.

==================== Thursday, July 7, 2011

Dear Diary, I had my first lesbian experience last night with Amber's mom. I've known her for 4 years now, ever since Amber and I met as Freshmen in high school. And I always thought she was beautiful. But you never know how beautiful a woman is until she's naked!

I went over to see Amber, but she had gone out, going to the mall with her dad. Gwen invited me inside and I readily agreed. She was wearing a t-shirt and cotton shorts and looked incredible. She said I could wait for them to come back, but thought it would be a couple hours.

I'd known her a little, but when we started talking it was like she knew who I was. She was putting groceries away and when she pulled out the ice cream, she opened the top, dipped her finger inside, and sucked it off her finger. She asked if I wanted some and presented the container to me to do the same. It seemed like a fun game and I was so excited watching her lick her fingers clean. She seemed to be excited too and one thing led to another. The next thing I knew she was licking the ice cream off my fingers... then off my lips... then off my neck as she drizzled it there.

I was shivering from the close contact and from the raw sexuality of her actions. In a minute, she had my shirt off and was kneeling in front of me, pulling my pants down and taking my panties off. She smiled up at me, watching me with her big brown eyes as I watched her tongue slide against my clit. I almost fell when my knees buckled from the pleasure! Her hands slid between my legs and cupped my ass as I leaned back against the kitchen counter. Her arms opened my legs wider as her mouth pushed into my pussy, licking and sucking on it.

She made me cum so hard I was seeing stars... and my toes hurt from curling them so many times! And afterwards, she led me into the living room, sat on the couch and showed me how to lick her pussy, too. God, Diary, it was the most wonderful taste. I love to taste a guy's cum in my mouth, but having pussy on my tongue was just as incredible!

When can I do that again??!!! ====================

I felt my cock harden instantly in my pants. Her damn diary and sex life was playing right into a lot of my sexual fantasies. I couldn't even remember the last time I had sex and my daughter was having it almost weekly if not several times a week. And her escapades made my life look like a priest. I looked at the time and figured I had a couple hours before Emily would come home. I opened my pants and pulled them down a little, freeing my ever-hardening cock. I could almost feel it throbbing! I reread the previous entry as my hand moved up and down my shaft. God I was so excited!

I couldn't put the book down now... I had to keep reading... I flipped through more pages.

==================== Saturday, August 6, 2011

Dear Diary, I had the most incredible sex in my life today! Mike was having a pool party at his parent's house as a blow off before college started. There were so many cute guys and girls there, all dressed in the skimpiest outfits. We swam a little, ate a little, drank a little (ok a lot!) and smoked... a lot... but none of that was the best part.

About midnight, I went looking in the house for Amber and heard a noise in Mike's basement. I slipped down the stairs and found Amber and Robin making out with Mike, Joe, and Sid. Three guys and only two girls? I had to even the odds! I jumped in, throwing off my top to get the real party started! It quickly turned into an all out orgy!

Two things I left with... one was knowing what an airtight fuck is... with all three guys fucking every hole I had available... all at the same time... over and over again. FUCK YEAH!

And two was knowing how much fun it is to fuck a girl. Robin brought a strap-on! And I made sure she knew I appreciated it, fucking both her fine pussy and ass.

We must have fucked for 3 hours! I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week! ====================

I slowly closed the book and took a deep breath. She was an adult... she was a woman... she was sexually active. It was not exactly a shock to realize it, it was more of a relief. I didn't want to admit it all before. I only wanted to think of her as a little girl... so I wouldn't be attracted to her... so I wouldn't look at her with lust-filled eyes. But I couldn't do that any more. I knew that every time I looked at her, I'd see a sexual creature and I'd look at her as if I wanted her.

*****

It was a rough week. As I mentioned, I wasn't able to look at her the same way again. I caught myself stealing glances at her tits and ass, wondering what she looked like naked, wondering what she'd look like in the middle of her orgasm. I slipped into her room a couple times during the week, while she was out with friends. I managed to stay away from her diary the whole week, although I did pick it up and forced myself to put it back down. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay away from her panty drawer... and ended up looking at some of the DVDs.

I know I shouldn't have. I know I should have stayed away from her room. But I just couldn't help myself. I slipped a DVD into my computer and found out that there were several videos on it... each one featuring Emily. Some were at a party, with a lot of people around, some were just of her alone, some were of her and another guy... or girl... one was even with an older couple. Every single one was of Emily caught in a sexual act.

I watched frame after frame of her sucking on some guys cock and of it erupting in her mouth, on her face, or all over her bare chest. I watched frame after frame of her getting fucked in the pussy or ass while she looked into the camera, smiling and moaning. I watched frame after frame of her masturbating on her bed, on the couch, even on *my* bed, sliding her fingers or her vibrator into her pussy and ass, talking into the camera, telling it, and through it, me, how much she was enjoying herself.

I was completely captivated, masturbating to each and every video and scene, cumming more in one week than I probably had the last 5 years.

On Saturday, October 13, I could no longer help myself and opened her diary again. I was just paging through entries, rereading one's I read before and reading a few new ones when I found an entry that had to do with me.

==================== October 28, 2011

Dear Diary, I found my dad's porn today. I don't know why I did it, but while he was at work, I went snooping into his bedroom. I fished around here and there, before I finally found some dirty magazines and videos on the top shelf of his closet. I never would have guessed that he is such a perv!

I watched a couple of the videos, one with only lesbians and the other with the new girl up-and-comers... where the guys make them suck their big dicks and cum all over their faces. They made me so fucking hot! I masturbated all fucking day long!

I was a little too naughty, too. I left my soaked panties under his bed so he'd smell me all night long... I hope he dreams about me. I hope he thinks about me and plays with his big cock. I hope he pictures me like those video sluts, eating pussies and sucking cock. I'd love to show him how much I enjoy it! ====================