Dindi Pt. 05

How many there must have been to make it possible for Gee alone to know 12 of them? But then again, of course George would know so many. He and Travis moved in the same circles. And something must have started the 'Travis is a man whore' rumours. Travis was gorgeous to the point it made you embarrassed to look at him for too long. He was adorable, charming, sweet as honey, and knew just the right way to touch a woman. Plus he had those eyes that invited you to throw your undies at his face. Not to mention his job, which made him particularly interesting for models looking for a little push in theirs careers.

Of course loads of women wanted him. Of course he took just as many as he could. Which begged the question: why on earth had he chosen me?

Before my mind had a chance to go deep into its wonders I chose to change the subject.

"Why are we making so many pigs in a blanket again?" I asked George as I sliced my hundredth sausage.

"Lance loves them."

While I was busy with Travis, George had met this bloke. An artist who owned a gallery somewhere in Brooklyn. His name was Lance. He was tall, black, handsome, and artsy. Precisely Gee's type.

"Lance is marvellous. Best shag of my life!" He cooed, not hiding how mushy he was because of this Lance. "You love him, don't you?"

"Clearly, you do." I teased. Whereas I treated love like a disease, George met the love of his life every month. And every month it was a different person.

"Yes! Yes! I'm in love! Sue me! But," And I had to groan, because I knew what would come next. "So are you."

My theory is that having a childhood best friend is the same as having your conscience personificated. It will tell you all the things you know to be true, but that you also do your best to deny in order to fool yourself. George knew every trick I had up my sleeve.

"Oh, Moony Mo." He said, using the nickname my father had given me when I was six years old. "You can fool yourself, but you cannot fool me."

"Shut up." I didn't actually say I wasn't. That would be a big, fat lie.

"Oh, please, Morena. You spend most of your time impaled on his cock."

George had rightfully been complaining about never seeing me. Travis had monopolized my time. I was with him every chance I got, but he'd traveled for an editorial thingy he had to do, so I took the chance to spend more time with Gee. I still hadn't told him everything about the weekend I spent with Travis and his family. I was afraid of his reaction.

"Gee?" He squinted his eyes, predicting by my tone of voice I had something to confess. "I told him about James."

James who had broken my heart. My trust. James who had convinced me I wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with anyone. James who had told me I was incapable of loving someone the right way.

Gee took my hand in his flour covered ones. "Why, Mo? You never talk about James." If anybody in this world knew how much that particular relationship had damaged me, that was George.

"I just," I hesitated. Not even I, myself, knew how Travis had pierced through my defenses. "Travis said he didn't want us to end, and...I don't know, Gee. I know he's risky. I can't explain how he did it, but he found a way in and it feels good. I have a mental list of all the reasons why he is wrong for me, but I like him. Very much. He makes me happy, as cliche as it sounds. He's the first man to do that in seven years. That must mean something, mustn't it?"

George's disapproval sigh was loud. He didn't even try to pretend he agreed with the idea that Travis was boyfriend material. According to him, Travis was meant for sex, not commitment. A boytoy, not a boyfriend. But, Travis himself had been the one to ask for commitment, not me. In every story out there the woman is the one asking for love when the man only wants sex. In our case though, he had been the one to ask me to stay while I had tried to keep our connection purely sexual.

"I won't lie to you, Mo." Gee said. "If I had to choose, I would've picked a safer bloke. But I like how happy you've been. And it certainly is good to see you opening yourself up to love. I'm sure Travis will be a sensational boyfriend, because if he isn't, I'll bloody break him in half."

Opening myself up to love?

Love. Why must he use that particular verb? In my stupid mind, somewhere in its depth, I had convinced myself that not saying the word would actually change the way I felt about it. Whenever I thought about love, I thought about James saying I didn't know how to feel it.

Nobody understood it, because nobody had felt the pain I had felt when I had allowed myself to love. Nowadays the problem wasn't even James himself. It was me. Whenever I remembered how pathetic I had been back then; Crawling on my knees, begging him to stay, only to have him rip his engagement ring off of my finger. Never again would I allow a man to make me feel that weak and pathetic.

Travis was a different person, though. In every single aspect. I shouldn't treat him based on the fears someone else had given me. This past month with him, when I had allowed myself to just enjoy him without any reservations, has been the best I've had in ages. He made feel so safe. Happy. I caught myself wondering why the fuck didn't I meet him earlier.

Although he was a bit immature, I had to make myself remember he's never been in a real relationship in his life. Not like I had. What did he know of commitment? What did he know of being in love? Of dedicating part of his life to someone else? It was a risky business. Even so, I was willing to bet my chips on him.

"I'm afraid, Gee." I admitted. "I like him so, so much. I don't know if I can trust myself with him. I'm afraid of me." The only reason I was able to stand on my own two feet now was because I had George. He had picked up and glued together piece by piece of my pride and dignity when James ditched me two weeks before our wedding.

"You listen here, Mo." He touched his forehead to mine, using his best lecturing voice. "You are the most wonderful person in the world. Even if he hurts you, you will be fine. You're little, but you're strong. You're the girl who swung tree branches at fat little bullies to save my arse. If you want to risk it with him, even though I disapprove, I will support you. If it all turns to shit, at least you'll have had good sex."

Sometimes I thought that if I had an actual brother I wouldn't love him half as much as I did Gee.

"What would I do with my life without you, Ginger Gee?! I swear to God, sometimes you're so wise, you scare me." I kissed his freckled cheek, hugging him like he was a teddy bear. "I love you more than any man in the world, you know."

"Ah, well. I know you cry every night knowing I'm gay. Because I'm obviously the love of your life." He put his long arms around me, speaking into my hair. "But, Mo? You know you can hurt yourself just as much as he can, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" It wasn't the first time he said something like that to me.

"I mean, you need to let your guard down." He chided me, just the way a brother would his sister. "The man is surely crazy about you, but you have to remember he's not James."

I'm not him, Morena. Travis had told me so himself.

"I know that, Gee." If that was a lie, I couldn't tell if was meant for Gee or for me.

We let each other go, returning to his hot dogs. I looked up at his freckled face and couldn't help a smile. Even if my love life was shit. Even if Travis wrecked me. At least I knew I had someone who would always help me get back to my feet.

****

"Oh, please!"

Travis nibbled my ear, then whispered into it. "Come on, Dindi. Just let it go, sweetheart."

"Mmm...I...oh...mmm...fuck..." I mumbled.

I was kneeling on the floor by the bed. My cheek rested against the softness of the bed sheets that caressed my skin. Travis was knelt behind me, working his hips up and inward, invading me completely. Everytime he pounded his cock inside me, the force was such that my body slid up the side of the bed.

"Just come for me, baby." His breath was hot in my ear, his words strangled. He was losing his control. Just as close to the edge as I was.

George would kill me if he ever found out I was being thoroughly fucked in his room. In my defense, I had the decency of not doing it quite on his bed. He had invited half of New York for his birthday. His bedroom (and incidentally mine, too) was the only place in the entire flat that wasn't crawling with people. He had locked it up, but luckily I had a key.

Travis drove his hips inward, his thick, long cock hit that dark spot in me that only he could reach. I might have moaned something. His name, maybe? Who the fuck knows. It was so fucking good, my muscles clutched him tight, as if my pussy refused to ever let him come out of it again.

His grunts were wild, animalistic. My white dress was ruined. It wasn't hot, quite the contrary, but the drops that ran down my sternum damped the fabric covering my breasts. Travis's own sweat soaked my back. Warm and decadent. He was hot and naked, whereas I had my dress bunched up around my waist.

"Mhmm...Travis..." Shit. I was going to come.

Not yet. Not yet. My mind screamed at me.

I hadn't seen him in three days. Three days without feeling him inside me. I thought it funny that such a short period of time would make me so eager and hungry for him. I was in deep with this man. I wasn't this impulsive; this needy. He was ruining me.

When he came in through the door all I could think of was how delicious he looked in his simple white t-shirt and clear jeans. Next thing I knew I was sneaking into the room, dragging him along. Then my undies were on the floor. Travis was commanding me to my knees, getting behind me, allowing me to feel his cock, hard and demanding on my ass. He quickly found my wet entrance; like my pussy was a magnet that drew him in.

He moved fast. Roughly. Ungently. A big, strong hand fisted my hair and held me in place, while the fingers of his other hand applied an extraordinary pressure to my clit. He'd been at it for such a long time I was sure his middle finger was numb, already. I hope to god my nails digging on Gee's mattress wouldn't leave ten permanent, semi circular holes in it.

I felt the heat that emanated from Travis's working muscles. Even the frantic beat of his heart was pulsing against my back, in synchrony with the beat of the music playing on the other side of the door. He sank his teeth on the skin over my shoulder, thrusting in so abruptly, the air in my lungs was kicked out.

"Come on, honey. I can't wait for you..." He said through clenched teeth.

I didn't want to let go. I was doing my best to prolong it; that feeling of being full of him. Of feeling his control slipping away from his grasp, knowing that my body drove him that crazy. I was breathing deeply in and out, holding my release back. Forcing Travis to climb all the way up, until the edge, but not jump. Not yet. I wanted more.

He was merciless, though. He hammered his cock into me, making me scream loud obscenities. The noise unnoticeable to George's guests thanks to the volume and enthusiasm of their chatter.

"Oh..." Breathing became a hard task.

The thighness down south seemed to spread upwards and clutch at my lungs, too. I pressed my damp forehead to the bed, squeezing my eyes shut when I felt my body begin to shatter around Travis.

When his cock teased me at that right spot, it was like giving my back to an angry sea. The waves came. One after the other. Swaying my body back and forth. Even if I tried to fight it, the force of the impact was too much. It washed over me; from head to toe, originating in my center. It dismantled me. It drained away my entire being into Travis.

He grunted, loud enough to make himself heard on the other side of the closed door if not for the party. He stilled, then pushed his hips deep and slowly into me a couple of times, letting his pleasure flow inside me, as mine flowed out. I was left panting, almost sure that my body was on fire.

"Damn it, Dindi."

Travis fell backwards, taking me with him. I landed on top of his naked chest. Opening my eyes proved to be a cumbersome task. I was still numb, feeling fluid, but somehow managed to roll off of him.

"Are you alright?" I asked, blindly palming his broad heaving chest.

He laughed a hoarse, contagious sound. "God, I love fucking you."

I lay beside him and laughed too. My god, I liked him. A lot, really. And it made me so scared I laughed even harder, just to force that particular thought out of my head.

When I caught myself, Travis was crawling up my body with one strong thigh intruding in between my legs. Big, warm hands holding my face. Thumbs wiping the tears of laughter out of my eyes.

"I missed you." He whispered into my lips.

I felt tempted to say I missed you, too. I was going to, but I just smiled shyly, my mouth saying instead: "Yeah, I could tell."

Then his lips were on mine. They moved slowly, dangerously compelling my body to answer to his touch. I was exhausted, thinking I was wet to my limit, but as it always happened with Travis, I was proved wrong.

Just when I was reaching down between us to bring his cock back to where it belonged, someone knocked on the door. He pulled his lips away from mine, grunting with impatience.

"IT'S OCCUPIED!" He shouted.

"We should probably go back to the party before Gee notices we've disappeared." I said, avoiding his next kiss.

Travis sighed heavily, kissing me one more time before getting to his feet to get dressed. My legs almost gave in under me when I tried to stand up, using the bed for support. I walked gingerly to the bathroom, where I got rid of my damp dress and wiped the slickness of Travis's cum, mixed with my own wetness, from my pussy.

Back in the room, I opened a drawer on the dresser, trying to decide what to wear. George had cleared me the last drawer, so I had to bend down in order to look for clothes.

"Wow, what a view." Travis whistled a moment before I felt his pelvis against my exposed ass.

I spun around, straightening myself, and wrapping my arms around his neck. My naked body was fully pressed to his clothed one that smelled of sweat, sex, and Travis.

"Don't be a pervert." I teased, standing on the tips of my toes to reach his mouth. "We have to go back before Gee comes looking for me."

Travis gave me one of his wicked smiles, whilst his hands were focused on testing the softness of my ass. "Put on some clothes then, or I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"Oh, please, you don't have the stamina." I teased, biting down on my lip tentatively, and putting some distance between us before he made good on his promise.

He only smiled, watching me lecherously as I slipped into some clean panties, a pair of high-waisted jeans, and a vintage blouse. I spent every day of the week on heels and tight pencil skirts, so whenever I had a chance to wear something comfy I didn't let it pass me by.

A couple of minutes later, I opened the door to face George's abominable party. Just the kind of party I loved to hate. Full of hipsters, supermodels, artsy, pretty, and pretentious people. Except that this time I didn't mind it so much. Travis was right beside me, holding my hand.

****

Travis, as it happened, knew George's new boyfriend, Lance. They had gone to NYU together. I left the two of them reminiscing old college times and went in search of Gee. I found him talking to some very tall and skinny girls.

"Hey, you." He hugged me when I reached him. "Girls, this is my sister. Morena." He introduced me to the two girls who could only be models from the looks of them.

"Hello." I said.

"Mo, this is Carla." Gee gestured to an absolutely stunning brunet, who gave me a sweet smile. "And this is Anissa." The other one was a leggy blond who looked like she had sucked on a lemon. She gave me what I knew to be the most arrogant, forced smile of her life.

Whatever bug was up her arse...

"It's lovely to meet you." I said for social conversation's sake.

"George is always talking about you, Morena." The brunet, Carla, said. She was clearly Italian, judging by her accent.

"Good things, if he knows what's good for him."

"Of course." She laughed.

The other one, the moody blond, was looking around, as if looking for someone. I was about to ask Carla which part of Italy she was from when Anissa spoke.

"Are you here with Travis?" She asked me, out of the blue.

I stared at her open mouthed. Her barely there accent sounded Scandinavian or something like that. I didn't like the way she said his name. Not at all. There was a familiarity in there that bothered me. Why did she want to know if I was with him? Too much interest for my liking.

"Actually, I'm here, because I live here. And Travis is here, because I'm his girlfriend." I sounded ruder than I had intended to be. That was the first time I called myself Travis's girlfriend out loud. Ah, did it feel good to say it.

She laughed. She straight out laughed. It was an annoying, rehearsed sound. She even threw her head back, the way she would if she were being photographed for the cover of fucking Vogue.

"That's so funny." She said, still recovering from her laughter.

What the fuck is wrong with the skinny tart?

Adrenaline kicked in, turning my first instinct into an urge to punch her in her perfect nose. The blood in my veins warmed up and it reached my cheeks. Indignation, and a certain degree of anger as well, were the feelings moving my tongue and opening my mouth to give her a piece of my mind. George was faster than I, though. He squeezed my shoulder, saying in our silent language 'Let me handle this.'

"Oh, god, Nissa!" He clapped his hands together ironically, using a voice heavy with affectation. "I thought so, too! It's super funny, isn't it? Who would have thought that Travis would finally fall in love? But, you know, the credit is all Mo's. She's brilliant. How could he resist her? You would've thought he'd date another bimbo like the ones he's used to, but no. It took a great girl like Mo here to make him finally settle down."

As a rule, I never bickered with other women over men. One of the very important lessons my mother had taught me. "Never fight another woman over a man, darling. They're the ones who must fight for us." She'd said.

George doing it was another story.

It was obvious on Anissa's face she wanted to dig her fake nails into Gee's eyeballs. The woman was flushed with anger, her mouth formed a perfect indignated O. I was just waiting for her to make a move towards him to let her know just how sharp my own nails were.

Travis, like an actor on a play, chose that very moment to make an entrance. He slid one long arm around my waist.

"Here you are." He whispered into my ear causing me to shiver slightly.

George's grin was so wide and satisfied I was afraid he might split his lips. He gave the Anissa woman a smug look, lifting one rudy eyebrow that said See, bitch?

"We were just talking about you, Travis!" Gee said, wrapping himself on Lance's arm, who had just joined our little group.

"Do I even want to know?" Travis asked George, smiling his panty wetter smile.

Anissa was the one who answered, though. "We were just talking about how funny it is that you're in love with Morena."

Everyone in the circle fell silent. The awkwardness that polluted the air around us was almost tangible. Travis, to that point, hadn't acknowledged Anissa's presence. When he looked at her, his expression was a hybrid of surprise and discomfort.