Don't Call The Fire Department

A man and a woman get together, and get married or live together. They are both basically normal, have normal brains. They are attracted to each other. They make love two or three times a day. They fuck like rabbits. He eats her cunt and makes her cry out in pleasure. He indulges her by going in the backdoor, without tearing her apart. She returns the favor to him on occasion, with one of her toys. She gives the love of her life a great blowjob anytime he wants. As a wake up call.

They like to take showers together. They watch porn, kama sutra videos. They watch sexy and romantic TV and movies of every genre. All they think about is sex, with each other, romantic erotic couplings of every kind. They are truly traditional and monogamous. Candlelight dinners while she wears sexy lingerie. She wears nothing in the kitchen. They do it on the couch, they fuck on the living room floor, he bangs her in the shower. They make love hungrily at the end of the day, and fall asleep in each others' arms with the TV set still on.

One day something happens and the couple has a change in their plans. On a Monday night she gets involved in a TV movie. There's a friend just down the road, who once lived four hundred miles away. She is on the phone for an hour or longer. The couple are distracted, tired. They shoot for Tuesday night. Tuesday night comes and she has to go see her sister. She hasn't seen or sister for a month. The two women go out for drinks and the sister is down. Because her boyfriend took her to Bangcock only twice last week. Lucky you, our heroine giggles. You get a fortune cookie? She thinks, nibbling her lip.

Wednesday night the horny couple decide to a Spencer's to check out the adult store just for fun.

They drive home and she is covertly jerking her guy off through his jeans. They shuck off their nice clothes as they walk through the back door, and a member of a local charity group calls. On both phones the couple listen quietly to the woman talk for thirty minutes. The woman wants to enlist the help for a Salvation Army drive. The group wants the guy to help Friday afternoon and can his wife come to help Saturday morning at 7 a.m?

Thursday morning the earnest lovers are awake at 5:30. She starts sucking his hard member and soon he is fucking his wife/consort from behind. She is on her knees and he is on his knees. Both are quietly humping each other without distractions in the early morning light. Her head is buried in the pillow. He goes to work and she goes back to sleep, counting the hours until she goes to her part-time job at noon.

Back home again she has a quick shower. She doesn't get dressed. Outside the birds sing, and she watches out the bedroom window as her lover pulls in the driveway. She thinks she will rape him, so to speak. Command her to give him head while he massages her pussy. He comes home from work, dirty and tired. He falls asleep watching FOX.

The weekend is filled with the charity group yard and bake sale, and the man gets drunk Saturday night. Too drunk to fuck, or do it right.

Time passes. The woman is 22 and pregnant now. She wants the baby, or she didn't concern herself with a contraceptive. How can she live the rural lifestyle without a child? Her lover does not mind. She makes him happy when she really doesn't want to, but more often than he actually desires. When certain times of her pregnancy come around the guy is in heaven---or in traction from all the action.

24 months after the love affair began, Dionysus catches a flight home. The man of the hour is the man who now has a new middle name. Jerk. Working a little late now, five times a month is the legal limit for banging his beautiful lover. Yes, children sleep. Something important in "the relationship" has gone to sleep.

Who minds? She has a child now..or they do. There are better things than sex. A soft pack a day of legalized heroin; Bag of Sweet Sixteen donuts at nine every night, with a quart of Dr. Pepper. Now

the couple do more part-time charity work, helping relatives out with their collective neuroses. There is the neighbor with imaginary illnesses. His symptoms come before either member of the couple can come on a rare night.

He's in the bright cold aisles, not even noticing a nice ass as he catches a handle. The best cheap beer at the grocery store, long as the beer truck brings it, is the easy chase. The couple drink and play cards, dime a hand. The couple does see something in each others' eyes, but are hardly aware of that. The ten o'clock drama on Lifetime sort of fills the gap. But not like he can fill the gap between honey's legs. Saying is one thing, doing is another. The heat of passion rises from the popcorn.

.....

For you, sex...its the great sin. Its the forbidden platter. Sex contains every STD by default, just

by thinking about the mess and time involved. You are home from a restaurant that is lower on the

evolutionary chain. Not one you'd go to with your babe. It's time to hit the couch. Sweetie has her digital electronic chastity belt, says she is up to level 5. You listen to a basketball game on a Walkman. The TV is on and you are both following a sandstorm in the Middle East. The baby is at grandmother's trailer. Her grandmother, as is normal. Neither you or her take advantage of the whole entire five room house.

Thursday night your loving and tasty wife is at a shower. Where she is trying on a pink and blue thing you might like. She is your soul mate, and you are a trader selling out for a piece of ass. Too bad

Your portfolio is so small, but you have something good at home. She will be home in two hours, tops.

So you are at your outside woman's apartment. This woman doesn't mind you're early. You think for a second. You're ready to get on the floor and put your face up into your co-employee's snatch. You don't even want to screw her, on her sofa, lights on or lights off. You don't care if the Weather Channel is on or a good hard rock station. The girl who works in the small office looks at you with hurt eyes. She shows her disappointment and jerks you off. You don't want anything more, or anything else.

In the back of your mind you want your true lover. You wish you were behind her, your hands on both her satiny breasts. You want to push your lady down firmly, hear her gasp in surprise when you enter her, and then hear the crickets outside in the woods. The best windows are right behind the bed....

--Sex is evil. Don't ever get the idea that it is good for your head, your heart, you spirit, your marriage, your love affair. Just keep your priorities straight and look forward to your 93rd birthday, hope and pray it gets here. When you see your banker, don't think of banging the teller. Not if the teller is not a sure investment. Someday, buy a health food store and a gymnasium and a tax-sheltered atrium for dynamic workshops. Show 'em all who's the boss. You can keep the bedroom window closed and then you never hear noisy crickets. But you might miss someone, remembering, while you do arithmetic all night.