Doug's Wife

Like every single one of you readers, there have been incidents, periods in my life I would say I am not proud of having been involved in. So, being a flawed human being simply makes me... more normal than not. I have avoided writing about most of it, but now at age 74, I really don't care what some might think. To those who delight in making horrible comments, look in your OWN closet.

This is one of those periods.

+++

Sharon and I had not been married all that long when the official looking letter arrived. We were at the point of learning about sex and life and all of the trappings that come with finding our feet out from under the parent's table and suddenly on our own.

We had very close to nothing, an 8 foot wide by 42 foot long one bedroom trailer, an old Dodge red ram with a burnt valve, a beat up old pickup that was unsafe past 30 MPH. And my old 16 foot boat, of course.

The job at the mill stacking paper bags paid the bills, barely. $2.27 an hour, 11 PM to 7 AM. Sharon worked at a jewelry store in a nearby town, earning the pittance minimum wage plus 5% of whatever she managed to sell.

Walt, the old fart that owned the store was clearly a pervert, he had 3 young sales clerks, all of them cute as a button, Sharon one of them. He liked looking at them, that was obvious. Plus he often suggested that not bothering with a bra at work was good for business.

Sharon told me about that, and asked if she should go without, since no bra was a bit outrageous back in those days. The other two sales girls didn't, and they seemed to get the better sales.

"After all, he is my boss." She told me like that made it OK. I just shrugged, not paying much attention. It was Salmon season and I wanted my boat running.

It probably was good for business, too, because every now and then Sharon actually did manage to sell something.

So. We were getting by, no idea what the future would bring, until that letter.

Drafted!

+++

Some God forsaken place called Viet Nam. Now I was aware that already two guys from our town came home in boxes and I had no intent at all of that happening to me.

I joined the Navy. That caused a brief fuss but finally four years as a volunteer beat two years as drafted.

Hard to end up shot way out in the middle of the ocean was my way of thinking.

Wanna bet?

+++

It seems in some areas, the Navy guys can find themselves on some hit and run missions. No boats involved at all except to get us somewhere. We shot at trees and brush a lot.

But, I was in the latrine anyway when it happened. One of the little people fired at the Moon, and managed to hit me.

So yep, my bad luck and I got hit. Bad part was it messed me up, the good luck part was I got sent home and wasn't dead yet.

+++

Sharon and I had the "talk" before I left. We were very busy sexually early on , so we held each other and cried, told each other that "if" anything happened while we were apart, it would be meaningless. Sex was a very big part of our life at that time, we would be completely honest with each other.

Yeah, sure.

In all of the time I was over there, I got a couple of hand jobs, and mentioned that in my letters to Sharon. But that was all, I saw the guys lined up to get shots in their asses, wanted no part of that.

Sharon never mentioned anything at all, so I just assumed she was dealing with doing without. Faithful little wife, sitting home alone. Something to hang onto for me.

Yeah, sure.

+++

Finally back home, we were sitting in the living room watching blurry TV when a guy named Doug showed up. Finding me there, he suddenly acted oddly. That was a surprise, Doug and I never really hung out so what was he doing at my place?

His family owned the garbage company so his job as a driver exempted him from the draft. Necessary service industry, they called that. I still don't get that but oh well.

He ended up inviting us to a party at his house, another odd thing, then beat a hasty retreat.

I was suspicious, Sharon and I had a talk, more like a yelling match, it turned out she was fucking Doug. Or had been.

"Just a couple of times is all. It was no big deal and we did talk about that." She told me, along with lots of tears.

I admit to being pissed off, but she reminded me we did have that agreement, and at that point she only mentioned Doug. So I gritted my teeth, the past was the past.

Sharon told me that I was way better, how much she loved me and only me while doing those things a woman can do that makes a young man forget.

Yeah, I know. Dumbass.

+++

I wasn't going to go to Doug's party, but that Saturday came and we had the choice of that or the movies. There would be booze at the party. So, with things being forgiven, we decided to go.

I was home now so things were going to be like before, no more messing around.

Doug and his wife Jan had a nice back yard, stone barbeque, fish pond, really nice. There was lots of booze, I started in on that and sat chatting with Bobby and Terry, a couple of guys I knew. Doug was busy cooking chicken while Jan, Sharon and a girl named Lisa were having a hen party inside.

If there were any conflicts going on with the women's side of things, I didn't see any. I just figured nobody knew about any of it. Other than a nod, I didn't talk to Doug.

Lisa I already noticed was fun to look at, she was stacked and had on a knit top that was best described as naughty. Jan not so much, she was way more conservative as was Sharon. I thought so anyway.

Just a party. Three women, four guys.

I got drunk.

+++

I was dreaming, beats me about what. My face felt cool, I opened my eyes and it was pretty dark. There was a night light across the room, I was on my back in a beanbag chair. I could see someone, they had a cool wash cloth and were wiping my face, that felt nice.

The light framed some long hair, this was a nice dream, here was an angel wiping my face. Long legs slid over me, I felt some cloth, the edges of a robe, I guess. Something soft, it took a few seconds to realize that was a bare breast.. Something brushed my thigh, I was now awake. That felt like... pubic hair? Not soft and downy like Sharon's, but thicker, fuller.

"What?" I began.

"Shhhh." She said. Her hand dropped down and fondled me, the reaction was instant of course. The motions changed from just a touch to a solid stroking.

"Big. Good." She giggled, slid downward. Now I felt something wet, as her mouth closed over me. Only Sharon had ever done that, and just once. She had jumped up after and ran to the sink, spitting. She never tried that again.

What was being done to me I had never experienced before, it was amazing. Tongue swirling, fondling, touching, one of my hands was outstretched cupping a bare breast. It was very soft, smaller than my Sharon's very firm ones.

I had no idea who this was, but I was not resisting.

Her body slid back up mine, she nuzzled my neck as she stretched out lengthwise to my body. I tried to turn but my legs felt trapped, I realized my pants were around my knees. I managed to sit up, she rolled to her side as I did that, reached down to slip my pants and briefs all the way off. In what was still a drunken haze, I turned back, looked at her.

It was Jan.

"Jan?" I whispered.

"Shhhh!" She said.

"What are you doing?"

Hey, how is THAT for a stupid question? She had my dick in her hand.

"Getting even with the son of a bitch." She said. Her right leg slid over me and pressed me back, and things slid together just like they are supposed to.

Jan was a rather energetic female, although she stayed stone silent. I worried about the other noises though and beanbag chairs are not exactly quiet to have sex on, contrary to what some might think.

But Doug never appeared.

We both climaxed, that much I am sure of. Jan stood up, she still had that robe over her shoulders. I could see her body, she most certainly did look good naked. In fact, even drunk, the sight made me begin to harden again. She saw that, grinned.

"Later." Is all she said.

+++

I lay there for quite some time, this was amazing. Doug's wife Jan slipped out, climbed on top of me and gave me one of the best sex sessions I had ever had up to that point.

The why of it began to register on me, she must have known about Sharon and Doug.

I looked around the room, it was pretty dark. There was no one else there. I got up, went to the bathroom, washed up. I got dressed, went looking for Sharon. She was nowhere in the house, I even peeked into the bedrooms, looked out on the patio but it was pretty cold outside so no chance she was out there.

It was 9 miles down the river road to our trailer, I got in my car and headed home. I probably should not have been since I was still plastered, but it was nearly 5 in the morning by then so all of our local cops were in bed anyway.

I found Sharon asleep in our bed, so I climbed in and dozed off.

+++

The smell of Bacon woke me up, I looked at the clock, it read noon. I got up, went to the bathroom and tried to puke but couldn't.

At the kitchen table, Sharon handed me some Coffee.

"Wow, you got drunk last night, didn't you?"

"Yeah. How did you get home?" I asked.

"Oh, Bobby and Doug gave me a ride."

"They did? Why both of them?"

"I don't know, they just did." She suddenly sounded defensive.

"Don't tell me you have been screwing Bobby, too?"

She suddenly flushed.

Crap.

"So, how long has that been going on?" I demanded.

"Honey, it was all just while you were gone, we talked about that."

"Well, what about last night? Did they try anything?"

Sharon flushed again.

Crap.

"They just kept fiddling with me, you know. Joking around."

"Fiddling?"

"Yeah, Bobby. He kept pulling my top up, I finally got him to stop that."

"Did they come in the house?"

"No. They wanted to but I wouldn't let them. Bobby was insistent, so finally I did him with.. you know, my hands? Doug was too drunk and he couldn't do anything."

That pissed me off.

"Oh, well. While you were out here playing with your boyfriends, Doug's wife Jan gave me a nice roll in the hay." That spurted out of me before I could stop myself.

Hey, I was still young and stupid.

"What? You fucked Jan? That fucking BITCH?" Hell, Sharon went from being caught and embarrassed about it to a screaming rage in two seconds flat.

I left. Took some Bacon with me.

She was still yelling, calling me names as I backed out of the driveway. Hell, SHE was the one fucking everything in sight and because I got my dick dipped through no real fault of my own, the bitch was mad at me?

In town, one building had some upstairs rooms, if they can be called that. 30 bucks a week and worth every penny. So, I rented one. I had some peace and miserable quiet for about 4 whole hours.

Yep, Sharon showed up. Walked in like she owned the fucking place. With Bobby, for God's sakes.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" I demanded.

"Look, Danny. You can be scary sometimes, I brought him along just in case, and to tell you we didn't do anything last night."

"You SAID you jacked him off!" I was glaring at Bobby, to his credit he didn't cringe.

"That's nothing!" Sharon came right back at me.

Yes, I was mad, my WIFE was here with one of the guys she had been sleeping with while I was away getting my ass shot off?

I got up off my chair.

Bobby's eyes got bigger.

I walked up to him, told him to go away.

"Look, Danny, she asked me to...?" He was whining, actually whining, and that was as far as he got before I clocked him. Now MOST guys, if someone takes a swing, will react, move, something.

Bobby's eyes got bigger, that was all, down he went. I opened the door and ass over teakettle dumped him down the stairs.. It was two flights so I went down to the next floor where he landed and dumped him down the next steps. He ended up in a heap on the sidewalk.

I went back upstairs, grabbed a cup of water, wishing it was beer, and sat down.

Sharon was standing her ground too, I had to give her credit for that. But then, she knew, or I should say she thought she knew that I would never hit a woman.

I wanted to, though.

"Danny, honey. I am sorry, nothing happened last night. All of that stuff while you were gone was nothing, I didn't even know if you were ever coming home."

More tears. I just let her talk.

Finally, she stopped.

I asked her point blank.

"How many?"

"How many what?"

"Guys did you FUCK while I was gone?"

"Honey, it was.. not that much, besides, you said...?"

"How... MANY?" My fists clenched at my side, I was probably as close to out of control as I ever get.

"Just Doug, Bobby a couple of times. Terry once and.. Walt."

"WALT!! Your fucking boss? That old bald headed piece of shit?" I exploded at that.

"He gave me a RAISE! I needed the money!" She shouted.

"Jesus! Any others?" I was getting pretty loud now.

"The gas station guy but that was only 10 seconds, he isn't much."

"So help me..." I advanced at her, fists clenched.

She turned and ran, probably at that exact instant a good thing.

+++

Mad, I decided to go over to Doug's place, have it out with him More stupid stuff, I know. The fact that I had rather thoroughly fucked his wife Jan just a few hours earlier did not even pop into my mind.

Jan answered the door, she smiled.

"Hi, Danny!" She said.

"Is Doug home?"

"No, he is at work, of course. Come on in." She stepped aside, I went in. Lisa from the night before sat on the couch, she gave me a big smile, too.

"What do you want to see Doug for, Danny?" Jan asked.

"I was.. he..?" Hell, I didn't know what to say.

"We all know all about Doug, and Sharon. And about her doing everybody else in the county, too! Is that it?" She laughed.

"Yeah, I was...? We need to talk about that." I said.

"Nothing to talk about, Danny. Come on, sit down." She took my hand and led me to the couch. Lisa reached out and slid her hand inside my shirt, Jan sat on the other side and things went quickly from one thing to another.

My very first experience with two women at once. Jan was sucking my cock while Lisa was nibbling at my nipples, there were bare titties everywhere it seemed like. Lisa dropped her slacks and stepped out of them, she had no hair down there at all, the first one I ever saw like that.

"Told you he had a nice one." Jan mumbled at one point, I couldn't say anything because Lisa had her pussy jammed against my mouth. I had at least a half dozen new experiences that afternoon.

By the time I left, I wasn't really mad at Doug any more. The fun part is, I was coming down the hill from his house as he was coming up the hill, just getting home from work.

I waved and drove right on by.

I almost made it home. The local Sheriff turned his lights on me right at the end of my driveway.

Something about Bobby and broken teeth, I tried to act like I had no idea what he was talking about.

That didn't work.

+++

Assault, battery, all of the usual. They appointed me a lawyer that clearly did not give a shit if I went to jail or not. My explanations as to why I beat up Bobby were met with smirks.

Yeah, other men smirk at you when you tell them your wife has been busy fucking half of the county and the truth is the idea pops into their heads that maybe they can get some of that, too.

The Judge was not too bad, I got time served and was ordered to pay Bobby's medical bills, which I never did and nobody ever followed up on that since I had right at zero assets.

Blood from a Turnip and all of that, it didn't cost Bobby either since he also didn't have a dime. Medical looks at things like that, no point in filing a suit when there is nothing to get.

My divorce from Sharon went normally, Oregon is a no fault State so her spreading for everybody made no difference at all.

+++

Two years went by, a few girl friends that were barely that came and went, I never went near Jan again. I heard through the grapevine that Doug was waiting for his chance at me, but even though he was sort of a physical guy, I wasn't too concerned.

Then I read the headline in the local papers. It seems Doug was loading his garbage truck, it was an old style, and he was training a new helper. Doug was trying to get something lined up in the back while the new guy hit the lever. His sleeve or something got caught and...?

Doug was no longer a problem.

I considered sending the helper a thank you card but didn't.

+++

I went to the funeral, no idea why, really. Jan was there, she saw me and came over, gave me a hug. For some reason I didn't quite understand, she really did not act all that unhappy. We talked, then I left and went home.

Maybe two weeks later, I ran into Bobby at the Main Street Café of all places. By then, the hard feelings were long gone, we talked some. I saw he had a Gold tooth right in front but I didn't say anything about that.

I asked about Jan, he tipped his head back and laughed.

"What so funny?" I asked.

"Doug had a life insurance policy, a million bucks."

"No shit?"

"No shit, and.. double indemnity for accidental, so she got TWO million, fucking tax free!"

I sat there and let that soak in, hell, maybe I should have been over to see Jan?

Oh, well. Shit happens.

+++

My ex-wife Sharon? I heard through that same grapevine she married some guy and moved to Arizona. That was fine with me.

I left town, moved up to Portland. By then I was running my first repair shop out of a one island fuel station. I have to concede that during that period, I really didn't trust women all that much.

Now? Bobby died a few years ago, old Walt died too, Terry left town after I busted up Bobby and no one ever heard from him again. Jan married some CEO and they live in Hawaii.

One interesting thing, they call it Facebook. My ex wife Sharon found me, we are friends I guess. She posts pics and things, God she looks old and I bet she is 200 pounds. We chat, no reason to be mad after what is now 49 years.

As any who read the crap I write, I am married now for the 4th time, to a Doctor named Debra.

Life is pretty good, if a little bit mayhem. You would need to know my Debra to understand. She refuses to allow me to be old if she can help it.

+++

There is a moral to this short tale, which I am telling as I remember it from a very long time ago.

If something happens like it did to me, drafted and sent off to a stupid war?

DO NOT tell the overly sexed young wife that messing around with others while you are gone will be OK.

They might just take that to heart.