First

I have never had any lesbian experiences. It was something I would think about once in a while, lesbian erotica, but not take seriously enough to be a preference. So after everything that has happened, it somewhat surprises me and makes me see a different side of my self.

I was twenty-four, newly relocated after being hired as a designer for a publishing company. I was so excited over getting this job as it was in an industry I wanted to pursue myself in a few years, by then as a writer. My department was quite small enough for us to be very friendly with each other. Work was work, but during break times and off office hours, it was easy hanging out and after a few weeks on the job, I have gotten pretty close to some.

One Saturday night, P, my colleague, called me up and invited me to a drinking party his ex, S, was throwing. I was amused that this thirty-year old man was still in need of a security blanket. Just to make sure I do not make a fool of myself, he half-joked. I did not have anything planned for the night and agreed. Wear your most smashing outfit, he added cheekily, a few of eligible bachelors there.

We arrived at S's house around nine. Her friends welcomed us warmly. After a few minutes of casual talk, everyone was joking with me as if I were a long time friend of the group's, which was fine by me because it was a fun group to be with.

A couple of drinks and dances later, the doorbell rang and S went to answer. As J and I returned after a crazy rendition of a tango, laughing hysterically all throughout, we sank into the sofa—and then my eyes met the confrontational stare of a shockingly red-haired beauty.

My laugh grew silent and my neck tensed up. For a fraction of a moment, a piercing quietness suddenly descended, at least in my head. Then I caught myself staring back and half mumbled an introduction and extended my hand. She smiled, "I'm M, nice dancing," accepting my hand as if nothing happened.

I wondered, was the staring part tricks my imagination? Anyway, I tried to act cool as she was introduced to the rest, a friend of S's from work, even if my head was going mildly haywire.

During the course of the night, I would catch her stealing glances—actually, I was not even sure if they were stealing glances or just coincidental looking, but regardless, it astonished me that it made me feel a bit giddy and made my cat do small claps of excitement. Admittedly, I was confused as well why she had that effect on me. I would sometimes smile back and she would nod and turn back to the person she was in conversation with. Very slim, elegant woman, with intense eyes, and that fiery hair.

Whenever she would cross the room to get drinks or change the music being played, her slender frame so graceful and limber, under that fit sweater and jeans, my eyes were addicted, stealing whatever peeks I hoped went unnoticed. When she laughed or just talked, my ears would zero in on her voice despite the noise in the room.

One time J's hand playfully lingered on my knee and everyone was teasing him about copping a feel and we all laughed, she casually looked at me, as if trying to read me, then meeting my eyes, she would smile. It was so odd. My heart pounded every time our eyes would meet and this was caused by a person I hardly knew and barely talked with the whole night.

Rounds of beer later, people were one by one leaving as it was getting pretty late. Soon, it was just the three of us left, me with M and J. "I'll go check if P's ready to head home now," I mumbled. I found P and S slow dancing in the next room and decided to give P a couple more minutes—they were surprisingly sweet to each other the whole night. I headed for the bathroom to freshen up.

My face was close to zombie-like. It has been a while since I partied until three in the morning. When I got back, M and J were seated on the sofa. An empty space beside M. She motioned for me to sit beside her and I did. Seated so close to her, I could smell her perfume and closed my eyes to just enjoy her smell and the warmth of her body.

"So I guess P has other plans to cap off the night. I can take you home if you want, I'm dropping off J anyway," she said softly. I opened my eyes and looked at her, how long have I been asleep? Then I saw her face, rolled to its side, barely three inches away from mine. I just looked at her, dumbfounded by her aura. I saw her lips moving. She was asking something, but it was not registering. I do not know what came over me—the intimacy of the dimly-lit room or the soft music or the beer or her eyes, I just closed my eyes again, leaned over the three inches and kissed her softly on the lips.

Five seconds later, I pulled back, the shock of what I just did hitting me. Instantly, I was awake as if someone doused me with ice-cold water. After mumbling a hasty 'Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry', I stood up, grabbed my coat and literally ran outside.

I really didn't know what to do. I went for a walk. I was embarrassed. Freaked out if P found out (and told in the office!). Hell, freaked out I kissed a woman! I was self-hating at the same time smiling. I cannot believe I just did that, I laughed. Two blocks later, I decided this craziness must end and started to head back.

M and J were standing by the door as I approached. "Hey, you. We're heading home. I told P I'm bringing you home and gee, he didn't really put up a fight," laughed M. "Come on, he gave me your address already."

Great, thanks a lot, P. Well, at least the drive home will be uneventful as possible having J with us, I thought. "And you're riding shotgun, J's place is up first," she added.

"Okay," I mumbled and flashed her a smile. Act normal, I nagged myself.

On the way to (the really smashed) J's place, we got into talking about her job, apparently, she was on a temporary gig now, doing consumer research for a company, how we both missed our family and friends. Then conversation pretty much died down and we drove in silence. After dropping off J, we were on our way to my place which was roughly twenty minutes away.

The silence in the car was far more difficult than a while ago. More tense. I was so aware of her hand handling the stick, shifting gears. She would occasionally look at me and ask if I was sleepy and to just go ahead and sleep if I were. No, no, I'm up, I said, and thanked her again for giving me the ride home.

Then silence.

I'd clear my throat occasionally. She'd hum really softly a bit. Then silence. She tried to break the ice and talked about S and P for a while, she mentioned being surprised by S's warm personality as she was all business-like in the office. "But I'm glad to have met her friends," she added and smiled at me. We then talked about other things we were interested in—food, movies, traveling. It was pretty good, she was very interesting to talk to. Talking about anything except what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to apologize for the kiss actually, but did not know how to bring it up.

"Um, listen, M... hmm, about the kiss...umm," my voice trailed off in discomfort.

Suddenly, she swerved to the side of the road and put her hazards lights on, then turned to me, her hands on her lap "I know you're not gay, don't worry. Neither am I. I was just a surprised over my, well, let's say, fixation over you the whole night. It was weird but it felt good, so we can just leave it at that."

The way she was looking at me, frowning and filled with such seriousness, I wanted to give her a kiss, just to shock her. I was not THAT disturbed over it, more of I'm disturbed for her sake. I laughed a bit.

"What? Why're you laughing?" and I told her why.

"Oh, okay," she grinned sheepishly, "I was trying to comfort you the best I could. Don't worry, it's not a biggie for me either. Well, in any case, even if I were interested in you, I don't think I can take being a lesbian," she shrugged. "Okay, friends?" And we shook hands.

"This is me," I said as we rolled along the front of my building. We sat inside the car for a while. It might sound strange, but despite what we just talked about, if she were a man, I would have been totally dying to ask him up. She looked like she was in no hurry to leave either.

We stared at each other from the opposite sides of the car, leaning on the door. Seeing the futility of the situation, I leaned in for a hug, "Well, it was nice meeting you," I said and stepped out of the car.

As I closed the door, she came dashing out and came to my side. "Wait, wait..." she said. It was almost light outside, yet the streets were still empty. We stood there silent for a while. Looking everywhere but at each other. Here we were standing on a dead sidewalk, streetlamps were still on and leaves gently blew past us—stop it! Stop looking too hard for signs! Stop being a drama queen and say goodbye, I scolded myself.

The silence went on too long. Confused as I was to say goodbye, I knew I could. Then it hit me: if this was goodbye, I might as well make the most of this craziness (and get it out of my system). I spun her to face me and kissed her squarely on the mouth. Her cry of surprise melted into sighs. Her soft lips, so soft and so hungry. I felt she, too, just wanted to make the most out of this moment. Her tense body softened and felt it press against mine urgently. Our tongues intertwined, danced and sparred. She was delicious. Her tongue was delicious. She kissed my jawline, I kissed her eyes. My body began to throb and I was close to euphoric. We embraced so tightly there was no air between us. As we ended our hungry kiss, I felt her warm breath, her slow exhale against my face. We opened our eyes, glazed, and smiled. "Friends?" she laughed softly. "What now?"

"I don't know, I don't know," I kept muttering because I really didn't, but I suppose the silly grin on my face said otherwise. We were then standing side by side, enough distance between us. "Come up with me?"

Without a word, her hand crept to mine, shyly. I felt electricity as her slender fingers slid against mine, intertwining. I felt my smile widen to Joker proportions. I was giddy at the same time nervous. I had nothing to offer her expectations, as I was just as new to this as she was.

We went in and as we stood waiting for the elevators, I looked at her and her eyes were boring into me. I wanted to kiss her, but I was in my building, with the night guard just a few meters away; I contented myself with just looking back.

She stood slightly behind me in the elevator, to my left. As the elevator went up, I felt her right hand slowly climbing up, from my left hip to my right. I leaned towards her and we stayed like that for a few seconds. Tough I felt lust for her, but more so, I felt comfortable warmth.

The doors opened six floors below mine, and an old woman stepped in. We both snapped out of our haze and stood at attention. "Good morning Mrs. L," I greeted stiffly.

The old woman smiled back, "Hello, just going up to catch some fresh air by the deck." What's with old people and waking up at this time of the morning, I mentally complained to Mrs. L. M was slowly withdrawing her hand to put some distance between us, but my right hand caught it. She still tried to pull back, but I held on to it. M gave up, we rode the remaining floors with our hands laced behind me.

As we got off my floor and walked to my unit, she hesitated. "Hey, listen... all this was fun but this is something different now. Can we agree if something's off, we can just stop and just talk and be friends?" Of course, I assured her, a bit relieved she was as nervous as I was.

As we walked inside, she gave me the Look. Of Lust I presume. We sat by the sofa, facing each other, just as we did early that evening. "You want something to drink?" I asked. No, she answered a bit breathless and a shy smile.

I picked up her hand, and held it to my face. I could smell her perfume, something I would use myself, musky fragrance. I kissed each fingertip; then the palm, once, twice, three times, then placed her hand a bit above the center of my chest. I got her other hand, kissed the fingertips and held it above her other rested hand. All the while, she just watched, as if enjoying the tribute I was giving her hands.

She lifted herself and sat down in front of me, straddling my lap. She leaned in for a soft kiss. Kissing a woman is definitely unlike kissing a man. The pacing, slow, rhythmic, patient, but hungry. Which intensified as her tongue explored my mouth. Darting in and out. Sucking my lips. Darting in and out. I was almost livid. Her hands were in my hair. My hands were under her sweater, rubbing her back.

"Do you know you're so beautiful?" she asked. She gathered my hair, which by now was a mess, then she paused. "Let's dance."

Sure, I sighed breathlessly, glad this seemed to slow down our pace. I turned on the player for some fitting music. We danced slowly and so closely. We were in a tight embrace, eyes closed, and swayed to the smooth jazz playing. A few seconds into the song, she stirred and kissed my neck.

"No kissing on the lips," I said with a smile. She smiled back wickedly. My hands went back under her sweater, massaging her back up and down. She had a very lean back, I felt the smooth but firm muscles, sliding as she moved. Her hands roamed my behind, nicely curved by my skirt. I ran the tip of my tongue down the side of her neck, from below her earlobe down to between her clavicles, marveling at the graceful hollowness at the center. I licked, she gasped.

She ran her nose over my tilted face, breathing me in, and liking what she smelt as she mumbled in soothing tones. She then pushed her knee between my thighs. The cat was throbbing and I rubbed myself against her thigh. I heard my shameless moan and sighs, but when I opened my eyes, I saw her tilted face, looking up in the same ecstatic expression with her mouth slightly open.

As I ground on her leg, we lifted her sweater and off it went. She had average sized breasts, a bit bigger than mine, with the nipples fully erect against the brassiere. My tongue continued its journey. From her clavicle, it went down to her cleavage then to her right breast. To be honest, after a few seconds of sucking, I realized it wasn't my thing (although I think she enjoyed it) and so with my tongue back to her neck, my left hand wandered over the front of her pants and rubbed up and down. She went berserk here and slammed me against the wall.

"We're not dancing to the rhythm," I pointed out. M's flushed face broke into a smirk. She was so beautiful. Flawless pale skin, flush red lips and cheeks, as red as her hair. She covered my lips with a wild kiss, as if sucking the blood out of it. Our breasts were squished together. I felt her stomach rub against mine up and down. Her pubic bone gnashing against mine. My hand went up and down faster against her crotch as she pumped herself against my body. She held my hand over her crotch as she moaned with pleasure, "Stay there, stay there," she guided and whispered my name over and over.

Unable to take it anymore, she dragged me back to the sofa, removed her pants and panty. Fully nude on my sofa, with legs partly apart she was more beautiful than I thought, so picturesque with her wavy red hair framing her face and a flame of red marking a sweet spot. "Come, baby," she invited, with an outstretched arm.

I kneeled in front of her and kissed her belly. Very trim figure. As I kissed her, her hand caressed my hair. "Down there, please," she gasped after a few seconds. I knew how much she wanted it by the way her body rhythmically arched. My tongue lined the insides of her thighs to her pained delight. Then her legs moved to rest on top of my shoulders. My head was buried in her crotch. "Now," she panted.

I lowered my head, until in slow motion, my lips met hers. It throbbed. Granted it was my first time to face this kind of lips, I was nervous as to what to do. I covered the big lips with kisses. She chuckled in approval. Then to the thinner lips. She smelled of arousal. "Now," she reminded me.

"Shhhh..." I replied, to her exasperation. I kissed the big lips once more, and could see her opening wiggling in anticipation. With a big wet tongue, I ran it all across her clit. M gasped. Sensing she liked it, I swept my tongue back and forth, and in circles. Pointing my tongue sharp and hard, I quickly thrusted it inside, surprising her. She moaned as my tongue darted in and out. She was shaking with pleasure. "Baby, baby, now, now, mmm....." she moaned. She was near cumming.

I darted my tongue in and out of her quicker, but this time a bit curled to the top while my thumbs massaged each side of her throbbing lips. She squeezed my hands tightly as she bucked wildly against my face. I rolled my tongue over and over her clit. Sweat lined her legs and crotch. Full force, I ravaged her with my tongue and mouth, as deep as I could, as hard as I could. She was shaking, shaking until, boom, she exploded. Her high pitched cries melted into sighs.

I gave her one last kiss, then started back up. Kissing her stomach, her collarbone, her neck, then finally up to her mouth. We kissed for a long time, her legs curled behind me, locking me close to her. "Your turn, baby," she smiled as she tried to lift my tube top. I could see she was exhausted. Happy but exhausted. We both were. My mouth possessed hers, savoring her taste.

"Later, let's rest for a while."

She scooted to make room for me. As I closed my eyes, I felt her body behind me shift to a position then relax, to my delight as I liked spooning. I felt at peace with what just happened. It felt so natural and at home, to have this beautiful naked woman lying so close to me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, with her arm and leg over me in a protective embrace, possessively, and caressing the side of my face. She took my hand and kissed the palm, long and tender.

"Goodnight, baby," she whispered. Sleep came in no time. Only to be was roused from my sleep that afternoon by butterfly kisses on my back.