First Kiss

"I just don't know." Anna said, sitting down hard against the edge of the large slab of wood that passed for a table in Lise's living room... As much leaning against it as sitting on it.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Lise stood with one hand propped on her hip and one foot kicked out a little from the other. The pose gave her a sense of authority that meshed well with her already stern beauty. “If you are doing what you really want to do, deep down inside, chances are you are doing the right thing.”

Anna lifted her gaze slightly. She had been studying the pattern in the maroon and grey carpet. Now she looked to Lise’s worn, white sneakers, and from there to the complex curves of her legs. Her softly faded jeans flared gently at the ankles and then clung to the shape of her thighs like shadows. Her one foot further out as she placed her weight on the other brought her knees close together and leant an oval heart shape to her thighs and hips. Above her belt, her old tee-shirt obscured her shape like white, fluffy clouds, telling almost nothing until it was just brushed at the collar by her short dark hair. The curls framed her face, highlighting eyes that sparkled over her warm smile. The random dapples of evening sun that passed thru the large front window bathed her in a warm pattern of light and shadow, set to sharp staccato now and then by traffic passing on the road in front of the house.

Suddenly a hint of mischief crept into that smile and Lise began to walk slowly closer, each foot sweeping in front of the other in exaggerated arcs that made her hips sway deeply. “Does it make you tingle inside, all alive with little shivers, when you think of him?”

Anna blushed instantly… Not because of any thoughts of the boy they had been discussing, but because looking at Lise was making her feel exactly that. Lise must have seen the color rise in her face, because she pounced like a cat with a new toy.

“Do you feel electricity, low in your tummy? Do you hear your blood rushing, so loud you can hardly hear anything else? So many wild butterflies inside you that you are afraid you will float away?”

Anna watched Lise as she came closer. She watched her lips, curling around the words she spoke, her eyes gleaming with fire and mischief, her tongue flicking over her teeth. Anna felt her skin get warmer and warmer. She felt her hands start to tremble and braced them on the table to hide it. But Lise must have seen.

“You’re feeling those things now, aren’t you?” she asked.

Anna’s eyes went wide. She nodded a slow “yes” before she could think, then blushed darker and looked down. Did Lise know? No. She was still talking about the boy. She didn’t understand that Anna had brought the subject up because she did not feel these things for him. She felt no passion at his touch, even though she knew she should. But what if she found out? What had she said about doing what you want to do? How would she react, if she found out that it was her that made Anna feel these things? How would she react if Anna told her she had never felt for a boy the way she felt for her. What would she think? More importantly, what would she do? Anna’s fingertips touched the crystal bud vase Lise kept on the table. She glanced down at it and saw a single white rose. She picked it up and began to turn it slowly in her fingertips, keeping her hands steady, and her mind – she hoped – focused.

Lise stood straighter, and with a more serious face, as if the nod was all the answer she needed. “What do you think you should do, then?”

Anna’s skin was fully ablaze. Everything blurred around her, and all she could hear was her heartbeat. Her tummy felt like it would burst. In a single moment of passion, she knew she would rather die than keep her feelings hidden. She looked at Lise’s eyes a moment, then looked down again, and took a deep breath. “I should tell you how I feel.” She said, her voice trembling, barely a whisper.

“What?” Lise asked, taking a step closer.

Anna felt dizzy. She’d made a mistake. Lise was angry now… Or shocked… Or disgusted.

“I didn’t hear you.” Lise said, a little more softly.

Anna looked to her eyes. There was no hint of anger there. She still smiled slightly. She really hadn’t heard. “I… I want to tell you…” she started, voice still shaky and quiet.

Lise took a step closer. “Hon… I can’t hear you over the traffic outside.”

Anna looked toward the window, then back to Lise. Her eyes were wide and her lips were tight while Lise’s smile remained warm and calm. A thorn on the rose she toyed with pricked her finger gently, and she breathed in sharply. Her skin was hot and her body was trembling. She tried to raise her voice, but what came out was even quieter than before. “Lise… I… I mean…”

Lise took another step closer. Anna could smell her now. Apples and flowers, maybe the shampoo Lise had used. Maybe it mingled with the scent of the rose. The gentle, sweet scent didn’t help Anna feel any stronger.

“Have you ever felt…” Anna managed, still quietly, but louder.

“Felt what?” Lise asked, stopping her advance.

Quite suddenly, it occurred to Anna that the quieter she was, the closer Lise would come. She didn’t know what this would do for her, but she felt that was what she needed… To have Lise close to her. Even for just a moment. Slipping the rose between her fingers, she brought her hands up to cover her face, breathed deeply, and spoke words so quiet even she couldn’t understand them.

Lise took another step closer.

Anna smiled a little behind her hands, and whispered again.

Lise came closer still. “Honey, are you ok?”

Anna moved her hands and revealed her face. She offered a weak smile and a little nod. She was so nervous that tears were beginning to form, making her eyes glisten a little.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Lise asked, then turned her face to the side and moved close enough that even the faintest whisper would fall directly on her waiting ear.

Anna could feel the warmth of Lise’s skin on her face. Her nose was filled with the gentle scent of her. She was blind, deaf, and completely lost, and she knew only this woman’s touch could lead her to safety. She knew what she had to do… What she wanted to do, in her heart of hearts, and the thought of it filled her with terror. What would Lise do? Would she be angry? Disgusted? Would she slap her? Ask her to leave? Or worse… Would she ignore what had been so very difficult for Anna to do? Pretend it never happened? Or would she turn and kiss her back? She didn’t dare think about it. She knew she would chicken out. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, leaned forward just a little, and let her lips brush Lise’s cheek in a barely perceptible but still unmistakable kiss.

Lise stood as quiet and still as a deer in the forest who had heard an out of place sound. Anna was terrified. Her lips began to tremble and small tears began to flow from her eyes. Then Lise turned, very slowly. She didn’t move away, nor did she move any closer. She turned until she was face to face with Anna. Eye to eye. Her breath was warm and sweet on Anna’s skin. “Why did you do that?” She asked very softly.

Anna fought herself, trying to catch enough breath to speak. It seemed to take forever. “Be…” she closed her eyes and swallowed, sending tears down her cheeks. “Because… I wanted to.” When she opened her eyes again, Lise was looking directly at them. Deeply into them. Anna could read nothing in her gaze, but, thankfully, she could read no anger. And only, maybe, a little shock.

“You wanted to.” Lise moved ever so slightly… Her nose touched Anna’s as softly as one of the whispers the two exchanged. She looked at Anna for what seemed like a very long time, then she touched her… Placing one hand gently on her hip, the other cupped her ribs, her thumb barely brushing against Anna’s breast. The sensation of touch sent a shock thru her body.

The passion flared deep in Anna’s chest again, and she was certain she could not stand long without falling into Lise’s arms. Lise was even closer now. Her lips brushed against Anna’s as she spoke. Even if Anna had not been able to hear her whispers, she thought she would be able to read her lips by this touch alone.

“Why don’t you tell me what you really want?” She asked… Almost commanded.

The single white rose slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. All the world was gone. Nothing remained but herself, Lise, and the tiny distance between them. Anna was suspended in space, between oblivion and paradise. She tried everything she could to gather her strength… Her throat was tight and her lungs were burning and her heart was pounding between her legs. “Please…” she whispered, barely making a sound. She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard, gathering her will…

“Please kiss me.”