For You

The first time I heard your voice I couldn't help myself. Our contact from years ago came back to me. It was as if nothing had changed over all those years. Did you fuel my fetish for an older man, or was it already there before I met you? During that phone call I wanted to control you with my body, as I did then. It's funny, how I always thought you held the power, but somehow I did. From the first message you sent me, my goal was to have you. I pushed our conversations into something sexual, even when they should not have been.

But that night, the first time we spoke, I had the power you as you realized that I was fucking myself to the sound of your voice. How many times was it that night? I wish I could have seen the look on your face. How did we get to the dynamic we had? You, my hero, the master in my mind; me the seductress, pushing things further each time until the breaking point. The growls you make as you cum will stay in my mind forever.

You came and went from my life. Time and again I reeled you back. We had our own deprived ways. I fantasized about you choking me, leaving bruises ringing my neck. I longed to have your huge cock inside me - my mouth, my pussy, my ass. I wanted you to fuck me until the point of pain. To pinch and bite my nipples. I loved that you were surprised that I bought the vampire gloves. If we had the chance I would have had you use so much more on me. I wanted you to cut me, deep down my back, or just under my breasts. Didn't you want to feel the my blood flow in the sweet agony of our perversions? To this day I think about you holding me down, pinning me with one of your strong arms around my neck, leaving me no choice but to submit to you as you savagely fucked me from behind. I wanted to be your everything, while at the same time for you to fuck me like a whore.

I loved your reactions when I sent you my pictures. I loved making you hard while you were at work, and the pictures you sent me in return to prove it. You brought out the best and worst in me. Buying a new piece of lingerie for you was my thrill. Did you like the time I showed you my chained harness? Did you like the look of the cold metal leaving my nipples hard? Or the time in the black corset, leaving my ass totally bare. I would have loved for you to bend me over and spank me before punishing me even more with your cock.

What about the time I sent you the picture of the belt around my neck, wishing it was you pulling the strap tighter? Remember when even my small hand left bruises on my neck when with one hand I choked myself while the other was buried in the wetness of my pussy? Or the "blow job" picture - you always loved my lips. I wanted nothing more than to be on my knees in front of you at that moment. What was your favourite? You know the "pin up" picture is always my favourite for our special reason.

During that summer of masturbation I raced home every day, wet with the anticipation. I loved stripping off my clothes as I walked in the door, leaving a trail to the bedroom. Quickly dressing in something to please you while waiting for Skype to connect. Years later you told me that you loved how wild I was then, fucking myself with the dildo for you to see. Fucking my pussy and wishing it was your hard cock, always while choking myself of course. I can hear your commands in my mind as I write this, telling me to keep fucking myself even after I had cum several times. You told me that you loved seeing the spit on my face as I took the dildo in my mouth, showing you what I would do if you were there. I know you wanted me to gag on you huge cock, taking as much in as I could, and yet forcing me to take even more. I dreamed of your big hands in my hair, holding painfully and forcing my head down. You wanted to see the tears come to my eyes as you fucked my face. And I wanted it too.

Let's not forget about the times you had me so dripping wet that fucking my pussy was not enough. You were the one who introduced me to the concept of double penetration, although I'm sure I would have found that on my own in time. I regularly fantasize about having one cock in my mouth while another is fucking my wet pussy. Sadly you didn't get the pictures of this, but I know you loved it when I filled both my cunt and ass with a dildo and experienced the pleasure of being so full.

I loved watching you stroke your hard cock; even during what seemed like an innocent conversation together you were ready. I liked teasing you in those moments, lifting up my shirt just enough, or taking off my bottoms, just leaving on whatever slutty underwear I had on for you that day. My pussy would get so wet as you told me to keep going, as you told me you needed it. Your hunger for me leaves me with an ache. I miss our days of multiple orgasms, you needed more from me even moments after you had just cum. You made me feel like a goddess, and you made me feel like nothing.

In our many moments, what will always stand out to me is the look on your face that day. I could see the lust in your eyes, and knew without seeing that the same was expressed on my face. I have never felt so wanted, so consumed by someone else. I wanted nothing more to be yours in that moment. All of this, and yet we've never been together. Opportunities missed. You know my regret in it all, my ultimate fantasy that didn't get to be. I hope that I still haunt your memory the way you haunt mine. A part of me will be yours forever.