Fortune

She threw every bit of wood on the fire and the conflagration lit up a wide berth around the sandbar. Then she undressed me and cursed me at the same time as she cried seeing the scratches and bruises all over my body. I went into the fetal position around the fire and mercifully I passed out still hearing her cuss me for being a fool.

When I came back to the world I was still in the fetal position, the fire was still roaring, a new stockpile of wood was on hand and once again my clothes were being dried from the heat of the fire and Gayle was behind me forming her body against my back to provide body heat. I groggily asked her how long I was out and she replied it wasn't important. I just needed to rest and remain warm.

So we remained on the ground in that position and of all the positions I had fantasized myself with Gayle since I first met her, this was one I hadn't figured on. She began apologizing profusely to me. Had she only thought about what I had to do she would've never asked me to do it. I told her to shut up, no one forced a gun to my head to do it.

We remained in that position until I saw my clothes steaming and smoldering from the heat. Gayle quickly got up and readjusted the clothes to complete drying and then went back to her former position. I began to think I could learn to enjoy this position.

In time she got up and said my clothes were dry and then it was her turn to walk into the woods and allow me to dress alone.

I started up the boat and at that signal she reappeared into view. Even though there was a large barrier of sand from any flammable material I order Gayle to help me douse the fire with sand. I felt a little sad as the last dying ember disappeared from sight from the life sustaining fire that had been there.

As I threw the boat into reverse and turned on the navigation lights again, Gayle walked in front of me and half sat; half stood at the captain's chair at the cockpit. I recognized that we would continue to share body heat as we made our way to the marina we had launched at early that morning. When she got cold from shielding me Gayle would retreat behind me until she was ready to return to the front.

The marina appeared across the river and I crossed the channel and entered its harbor. I was in no shape to load the boat unto the trailer and transport it out. I found an unoccupied slip and I tied the boat off and killed the engine. The marina was deserted at the late hour. If anyone took offense they could call the Coast Guard to run the registration number and contact Robert, who in turn would contact me. We limped to my truck and I turned it on and immediately turned on the heat to full.

As it permeated through the cab I saw a large smile of gratitude on Gayle's face as we began the final miles to her house. We still hadn't spoken much since the marina and I started getting drowsy from the heat. I asked her to start talking to keep me awake. Then I just listened to that soft melodious voice for the first time absent the acrid acerbic venom I was used to. The miles for once passed by too quickly as we arrived at her house.

I had mixed emotions as I stopped in her drive. Happiness that I had got her home after such a harrowing experience. Sadness that she was leaving me and probably tomorrow our temporary truce would be null and we would be back in our private little cold war. Anxiety for thinking I had another twenty minutes on the road before I collapsed in my trailer. Chances were good I would fall asleep behind the wheel.

She got out and I thought she was going to bid me goodnight. Instead she looked at me and said, "Don't even think you are going anywhere." She turned around to the house and I meekly obeyed her and got out of the truck to follow her to the house. Once inside, she commanded me to build a fire in their fireplace. "I know you can do that. I've seen you in action." She walked into the kitchen and I heard clattering going on as I prepared to light the fire.

I tried to use my Zippo lighter, but, it failed to ignite. I reflected on what a whim our lives were balanced as I struck on one of the long stemmed matches Robert used to set the fire. In a matter of minutes, the flames merrily licked up to start feeding on the seasoned oak that Robert had in his tinderbox that I used in the fireplace.

Gayle came out with two oversized ceramic mugs steaming away. "I'm afraid I can only offer you chicken noodle soup out of the can nuked. Next time I promise you it will be homemade" she explained as put the mugs down on the coffee table and went to the closet in the hallway and got out some thick woolen blankets

She told me to sit down on the sofa. I looked at my dirty, bloody, sand gritted clothes and hesitated. "Oh for God sakes, John, it's just a couch, I'll get it cleaned!" Again, I obeyed as I realized for the first time she used my name and she wrapped a blanket around me and handed me one of the mugs. Then she wrapped herself in the other blanket and slowly sipped on her mug of soup.

She used the remote to kill the lights and so we sat together side by side, staring into the fire in the darkened den sipping away at our soup. I placed my empty mug back on the coffee table and she did, likewise.

We continued to stare into the fire and I became mesmerized by the ocean of shifting hues of orange as the embers of the logs heated and cooled at various points. It reminded me of Gayle's hair. Atop the yellow flames continued to burn into the logs. Gayle shifted and placed her head against my shoulder. We remained like that for a long time when she finally spoke.

In a soft timid voice she began, still looking straight into the fire, "I'm going to tell you a story. I don't want you to interrupt. I don't want you to stop me. I don't want you to say anything until I've finished."

She continued, "About two months before I graduated I met this guy from school and started dating him. He looked a lot like you; tall, brown hair, cute smile, green eyes...I was getting real attached to him, but, I still wanted to make sure he was the one. So, I kept stalling him whenever he started talking about taking it to the next level. He made the noise of saying he understood, but, still he kept pushing and pushing at me."

Gayle paused and moved her hand to my blanket covered bicep for support before she continued. "Graduation day, we celebrated by going out that evening to an expensive restaurant. I excused myself to go to the restroom. When I got back to the table an expensive bottle of wine was uncorked. Only the best was good enough for me, he said! He raised his wine flute and gave me a toast, 'To us' he declared, 'may we always be happy!' I finished off my wine flute and returned his dazzling smile and relished what my future would hold.

Six hours later I was being transported to the hospital by ambulance. My roommates had made it home and found me sprawled on the livingroom floor. My dress had been ripped to expose my breasts which were covered with bruises and bite marks. When my bra was broken, it caused a large friction burn on my ribcage. My dress had been rolled up and my panties had been unceremoniously dumped on top of my head. My roommates could tell I had sex from the fluids leaking from me.

When they couldn't wake me, they called 911. The police arrived about the same time the ambulance did. When I got to the hospital they ordered a toxicology screen and determined I was under the influence of Rohypnol, the date rape drug."

I was shocked by Gayle's revelation as she continued to dredge up the trauma.

"They also performed a rape kit exam which concluded that I had indeed had sex and DNA was extracted from the sperm collected from my vagina.

Because there was no way to tell whether I had been infected with anything I was prescribed an entire plethora of prescription medications to make sure I was okay. In fact, I'm still required to take some pills and go in for checkups.

The detective that investigated my case kept asking for the perpetrator's name. He knew I was shielding him. Apparently, it isn't that unusual for a woman to run and hide and pretend it didn't happen or that it was their fault it happened. The detective told me if I changed my mind and decided to cooperate to give him a call.

I went home and for the first day I wore my brand of shame. My maroon Texas A & M shirt would serve as my scarlet letter. A remembrance of my connection with my rapist. Each day, I would die a little more and wear my shame for the world to see. But you understand...they couldn't see... all they saw was a woman with a shirt with a college logo. So it also served as my shield. My shield from the revelation that I had been treated as a piece of meat and thrown away."

I wanted her to stop. I wanted her to not experience the horror again as she continued to lance deeper into her wounded psyche drawing out the emotional pus.

Her hand was now painfully clenching my bicep as I allowed her to continue. "I withdrew from my friends, one by one...as they all argued for me to go to counseling...or tell the police...or this...or that! I still managed to draw deeper into my hell... each day wearing that damn brand...each day hating myself.

I decided I would continue to retreat. I called my grandfather and asked if I could stay with him. Of course he said yes and so I came down and I could forget a little bit of my shame as I enjoyed the beauty of the land. He showed me again the Red River and the kernel of my idea drew back from a long ago lecture in history and I began doing some research and I thought that by committing to this project I could abate the shame a little more.

Then my grandfather suggested to have you included. I knew we would need help to pull this off so I was okay with meeting you...until I saw who you reminded me of...and then I was not. Each day I had to endure the daily torture of wearing that logo and seeing you. Each day I kept trying to find a way to make you irrelevant and unneeded, so you would go away and not bother me anymore..."

Her voice rose in pitch as she concluded her statement, "I suppose I would still be looking for a way to get rid of you if I hadn't tripped over my own damn foot and fell overboard!"

She started to cry again recalling the experience, "Oh God, I was so afraid and alone and cold...that numbing cold as I tried to swim back to the boat and saw you diving in. Then something drug me under the water and then I was back on the surface gulping air and trying to get to you...but it felt like I was getting away from you.

Everything was a blur as you grabbed my hair. I wanted to grab on to you so you would save me, but, the pain made me grab your hand so you would release my hair. Then you pushed me onto the sandbar and now the chilly air paralyzed me. All I could do was watch as you built the fire and warmth slowly returned to me.

Then you ordered me out of my clothes and I had another flashback and I wasn't going to obey you. Then you yelled at me and I knew if I didn't take off my clothes, you would rip them off me...and then rape me...and I knew I had no choice...so I sat there paralyzed... waiting for you to dominate and abuse me...then I sat huddling as you approached and began stripping...and then you sat down and finally began to warm yourself.

Each second gave me new hope that I would be okay and then I had a moment of serendipity when I realized you were you and not my monster from the past. I started to feel ashamed of everything I projected on you and I started crying and you came over to me naked. You sat right next to me and cradled me in your arms and I felt protected.

An hour before our mishap if you had touched me I would have screamed at you. Now we were both naked and I felt safe in your arms and I wonder why it took me this long to realize my mistake!"

Once again, Gayle had devolved into full blown weeping and I managed to get my arm out of the blanket and around her and I tried to comfort her and held her silently as the fire continued to die out.

When I woke up I felt her stirring awake as well and we both saw the sight of an unbelieving Robert looking down at us.

"I wouldn't believe this if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes! Can someone tell me what the hell our boat is doing in the marina? And why wouldn't either of you answer your phones?"

Gayle and I untangled and painfully stood up. Gayle looked at me expectantly. I knew what she was asking.

"You have to tell him. I'm going to go get our boat and I'll come right back and then we will decide what to do."

As I left, Gayle and Robert were walking to the kitchen table to tell him all the secrets. I managed to placate the irate owner of the marina with an apology and a $100 dollar donation which included the staff loading the boat onto my trailer for me.

When I got back to Robert's, he was still sitting at the kitchen table, pale and trying to digest the events. I asked where Gayle was and he told me she was taking a shower. We started discussing things from our perspective when Gayle appeared before us.

"NO!" I shouted, "You are through paying a penance you don't owe! Get upstairs and put anything else on but that!"

Gayle was shocked at my reaction seeing her still donning her college logo, still wearing her badge of shame. As far as I was concerned that was over. She came down hesitantly wearing a flowery blouse that complimented her. I reacted by opening my arms and she smiled and rushed to hug me. Damn, my ribs still hurts!

Then she looked at Robert and he invited her into his arms and he hugged her for a long time. Then he insisted on taking us to the hospital to be checked over. It turned out my ribs were severely bruised and were wrapped tight to mend. Various cuts were cleaned and prescriptions ranging from antiseptics to painkillers were prescribed. Luckily, other than suffering from exposure, Gayle had no residual physical injuries.

We made plans to drive to College Station the next day. Gayle went into the police station escorted by us and gave a complete statement to the assigned detective naming the culprit. Then we met with Gayle's roommates and they heard the story in its entirety. They all rushed to show the love and affection they had for their friend. I was hugged as well and I knew that I would have to take a few extra painkillers to compensate for the emotions these women showed in their hugs.

Gayle asked if her friends could get her the name of a therapist that lived close to her grandfather. Ten phones appeared simultaneously to find her that information. Since Robert had to drive us, I was allowed the front passenger seat for my comfort. Gayle continued to huddle over me and asked how I was doing on the drive.

When we got back to Robert's house she insisted that I stay in the spare guest room. I had no business staying in that small trailer with no one to look after me, she said. I couldn't wait for her to say something like that in front of my grandmother.

Naturally, they got along great when they met for the first time. Gayle offered to drive me to the visitation since I was still on the painkillers and had no business behind the wheel. It was a welcome change of pace to have someone to talk to on the drive and for that awful hour of anticipation.

By November I was off the painkillers, but, Gayle still wanted to come with me. So again, she served as a welcomed distraction to my anguish. In December after the fruitless visit, she helped load up the gifts back into my truck. I had purchased the items on the off chance they would appear. Gayle suggested taking the gifts to a charity to be distributed to a needy family.

Things were rolling along for Gayle. Her rapist had been arrested and a warrant was served forcing him to provide his DNA. It was an exact match. Another warrant was served to search his phone. He had videotaped the entire disgusting act on his phone. He and his attorney had decided that rather than stall they would ask for a quick trial. The reason being that given Gayle initial reluctance to cooperate, she would be more likely to fold from testifying now rather than having a year to prepare.

She calmly appeared on the witness stand and described in detail the horror she underwent. The jury came back in less than an hour and gave him the maximum sentence on every charge. The bailiff told me that they would have been back quicker, but, they were trying to find a way to give him even more time than allowed.

Things moved at a comfortable pace with our relationship. I was asked to participate in some of Gayle's sessions and I made it be known that I would do whatever I needed to do to help Gayle. The therapist assured me that Gayle was already aware of that.

So the months passed until we were in late Spring and Gayle and I were back on the Red River recovering the data we had originally lost. I insisted that she wore a life jacket the entire trip. She wouldn't tell me what were in the large boxes in the stern that Robert had loaded on the boat.

As we approached that fateful spot where she fell in back in October she told me she changed her mind and wanted to go to our sandbar. I complied and we landed there and she hopped off and asked me if I would build her a fire. I went and got some old wood and took out my refurbished Zippo lighter and soon had a fire going on the exact spot as before.

Then she asked that I start unloading the items in the boxes. First, I took out a tent. So I went and constructed it where we had huddled together. Then there was an air mattress with an electrical blower. So I had it plugged up on a power converter on the boat and soon it was filled with air. I placed it inside the tent along with the sleeping bag for two.

The food fare was atypical campfire food. Hot dogs and marshmallows and sodas and bottled water. And a bottle of champagne chilling in the ice cooler. We sat by each other enjoying the simple pleasure of our outing as we talked and interacted with a familiarity that had been alien to both of us the previous Fall.

I reached over and gently moved my hand through her gorgeous auburn curls. She reminded me that I had been a lot rougher with her the first time I did that on the sandbar. I told her I was sorry and asked how I could make it up to her. She told me I could kiss her.

I leaned in and softly kissed her. As I slowly broke away from the kiss, she commanded another one and another...and another. Our hands began to explore each other's body and I enjoyed the sensation of hearing her coo from my caresses.

When she was ready, she stripped off her T shirt and I saw her full bosom jiggling as she threw the shirt aside in the approximate area where the clothes had dried. That led to a cascade of clothes being shed and thrown in a mutual pile.

Acknowledging a practical desire for comfort I spread the oversized picnic blanket over the sand and laid beside the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her flawless alabaster skin, her deep blue eyes like sapphires, those luscious full lips begging to be kissed. Hell, her entire body deserved to be kissed. And I proceeded to do so from the top of her head all the way down to her toes.

Of course, some areas got more attention than others. But, I figured after forty or fifty years it would all even out. Now, there was a particular area I intended to mine for treasure and I soon directed all my attention there. The sighs, gasps, and moans were rewards enough as my tongue continued to probe. Each lick brought on a plea for another which I would eagerly comply with until I felt her shuddering into a climax.

Kissing all around I advanced up until I was looking directly into her eyes as I kissed her. I felt her grope down and soon she had my erect tool and placed it exactly where she wanted it. Her legs were splayed open to accommodate me. Not wanting to discomfort her I moved her atop me and Lordy, she took to riding cowboy in style.