Fresh Out Ch. 02

The rest of the night went along smoothly as the men got acquainted over lamb, roasted potatoes, and grilled asparagus. Tyler joked that with another belly in the house he'd have to give up taking leftovers for the next day's lunch to which Gianni said he'd figure something out. As it was, there was nothing left but dishes by the time the guys left the table. Tyler loaded up the dishwasher and Gianni got the guys another round of drinks. Beer for Neville, scotch for Tyler, and another glass of red wine for himself. They adjourned to the back deck and Tyler broke out a few cigars for them to celebrate they're "dysfunctional family's new addition". They got to know each other while they kept their buzz on and laughed at the dogs' playful brawl over the lamb bones. By the time Tyler announced his departure it had to be well past midnight.

"No funny business fellas," he said to both of them but his eyes remained on Gianni for an extra minute or so. After the younger man waved him off, Tyler bid them both good night and went inside, followed by his pack as he called the dogs.

The guys sat in silence for a while, a surprisingly relaxed silence it seemed to Neville. Just a few hours ago he was had been thinking that the olive skinned hottie might be his undoing, now he thought he'd found a friend. A much needed one since most from his old life had shunned his decision to live how he choose. He figured that might bond them together, that awful feeling of being ostracized by all you found familiar in your life. They were only a couple years apart and no matter how great Tyler was, he was still almost as old as his father and Neville figured that he and Gianni might have a bit more in common.

"So when did you know," Gianni asked him as he got up to change seats. He moved a little tree stump next to the hammock on Neville's right. Before he sat he fished out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit one and eased his way down onto to the nylon ropes. His feet were bare and he crossed his legs at the ankles, one hand behind his head the other busy with the back and forth of his nicotine habit. "Me, I always knew, like for real always. Like my first crush was on Dragon Ball Z, always knew. I never denied it to myself but given my ultra- Catholic family and four older brothers I didn't go screaming it from mountain tops either, you know?"

"So what happened?"

"No my friend I asked first," he said with a smirk and Neville obliged him.

"I think I always did to but I was in complete denial about it. You think Catholics are bad, trying growing up with a Witness and a Baptist. As far as my mo...step-mom was concerned I was going to hell anyway for playing sports and what not, my father was coming too for being so proud of me. We could never do right as far as she was concerned but for a long time, like forever, I tried. Really I did, nearly lost my mind trying to be someone I wasn't. Don't get me wrong I loved playing football but that's about it and when I lost my scholarship I went crazy from the idleness. That's how I ended up a wheel man. It was the first thing I've ever been good at that I chose to do. Fucked up it's illegal but I think that was the beginning of me being me." He found he was breathless when he was finished, like he was rushing through a confessional and the sigh that came when he was done wasn't lost on Gianni.

"Felt good to say all that out loud didn't it," he said sincerely and Neville laughed. They were quiet again for a little bit and again it was Gianni who broke the silence. "My youngest middle brother had this friend, Jeremy Buchanan, and oh fuck did I love him. Carmine was always the nicest to me, he's two years older, and he'd always let me tag along with him and his buddies. Jeremy wasn't his best friend but he was always around and he was even nicer to me than my brother. Defended me when the big boys picked on me, always picked me for his teams. I decided somewhere around 16 that he was probably like me, gay I mean. I didn't say anything to him or anybody else but I knew it and eventually I found out I was right. He came to the 18th birthday party my brothers threw for me. I'm the youngest so my bros got me a keg and a bottle of Boone's and I was feeling all the courage in the world.

Long story short I kissed him, my first kiss, behind his pick up. It was quick and we almost got caught but it was enough to show both of us that we wanted more than a few sweaty basketball games. We knew what we were doing would be trouble if anybody found out but we were careful. My family just assumed that because we were in school together and on the team that we just got closer. They didn't know that whenever I slept over his house we'd share a sleeping bag and make out 'til the wee hours of the morning. Didn't know that the first hickey they teased me about for weeks came from him. That wasn't the only first we had. I was so lucky, most guys don't get the chance to share all their first with someone who loves them the way Jer loved me.

"We took to camping out in his pick up the summer after I graduated. I didn't know what I was going to do without him so we were attached at the hip for those last few months. I'm not sure how my brothers found out but they did and came to confront us one morning while we were swimming at the pond." For the first time Gianni paused but only to light another cigarette and empty the wine bottle into his glass. Neville noticed his eyes shining a little but figured it was the wine and didn't think much of it, or the fact that he hadn't really looked his way since he started talking about Jeremy.

"That was the only time I denied who I am to anybody, but he didn't. He told them he loved me and that he wouldn't stop even if I wasn't ready to tell them. I couldn't take that kind of pressure and I did the worst thing I could have, I denied him. Denied I loved him, that I wanted to be with him forever, called him names. I was immature and it was awful and if he never forgave me I would have understood...but he did. Even before he was grown Jeremy was the best man I've ever known. I think he would have been okay had my brothers not told the town that he had...that he...but he wasn't. He couldn't live with everybody believing he was some kind of monster. He didn't even blame me and I think that hurt the worst..."

"He's gone isn't he," Neville asked before he could stop himself. The quiet tears and shaky hands were evidence enough without him needing to say the words. It didn't matter anyway because Gianni didn't say, just nodded his head.

"I got a letter from him a few days after his dad found him hanging and they didn't even tell me. My parents wouldn't let me go to his funeral and that's when I lost it. My dad called him a no good faggot and I tried to put my fist through his brain. I wailed on him until my mother called my brothers and they jumped on me. I got away and ran til I couldn't anymore, ended up at one of Ty's jobsites and started squatting until he found me and took me home. We were there long enough for my dad to call me a worthless abomination to his gene pool and break my nose. Tyler brought me home after that, made me finish school, gave me a job until I figured out what I wanted to do with myself, and when I did he helped me get my first food truck. Now I'm working on a third on my own."

"So it gets better," Neville said with a sigh and Gianni laughed, heartily.

"Yeah...yeah, it does. It already started right. New digs, new job..."

"New friends," Neville added with a smirk and Gianni rolled his eyes.

"Those too. I'm sure you heard it from Ty but the same goes for me, I'm here for you. I wasn't sure when he told me but meeting you tonight I know there's a good heart under all that muscle. Not everybody deserves second chances but you do. Don't fuck it up thinking with that hammer you got swing between your legs."

"Wait, who told you about BamBam?"

With that they both laughed and went inside. Almost as soon as he laid down, Neville was lost to his subconscious. And his door remained open.