Grooming a Whore Ch. 01

We all have deep rivers of desire that run through unlit corridors of the soul. Alien personalities full with cravings of the shadow self that we strive to keep in check. If we do not find ourselves sufficiently sexually fulfilled then we become vulnerable, and if by ill chance we stumble upon a door that opens upon our darker soul we will find ourselves irresistibly attracted to the path through the darkness beyond and a life that spirals away, ever downwards. Having once embarked upon that journey, the darker soul within grows in strength and we are flung further off balance and risk losing who we are.

Judy is a discontented wife, ripe for the plucking. Unfortunately for her, Will recognised that too when he walked into the clean wholesome charity shop...

I have not been looking for an affair! Really I haven't. But already I know this guy means too much to me, it is already too late I cannot give him up. I need him, and I would rather give up anything else not to lose him. I know it is wrong, I am a married woman, but I am not strong.

It had started out so innocently. Working as a volunteer in a charity shop while my husband was at his job just seemed like a worthwhile use of my time. Colin and I have not been getting on very well of late. He can be so controlling and he keeps such a tight handle on the money. I am sure he just needs more time to learn he can trust me. Yet I hate having to ask him for money to buy clothes and stuff. I hate that he can say no and if he thinks what I want is too flirty he will say no. I could not believe he would turn out to be so mean. We have rowed about it, but it never seems to make any difference. In the end I have just learned to accept that's how he is, but inside I am seething about it. It's funny I don't think I was aware of that before, just little by little I accepted the situation. It's only now with Will on the scene that I realise how lacking my relationship with Colin is.

Don't get me wrong, I have never gone short for anything. We have money, it's just I can only spend it on what he approves of. Anyway, Will is a handsome guy and he comes into the shop and starts paying me attention, and I quickly become interested. He enters and looks around then buys something as an excuse to come over and talk and flirt with me. He is so obvious. He clearly wasn't interested in the things he had bought, I expect he threw them away as soon as he got outside. I find myself looking forward to his arriving and as soon as I see him my heart skips a beat. I love the way we both pretend not to notice each other while he looks around. Then when he comes over and we chat neither of us want the conversation ever to end.

I don't know, maybe I am just fooling myself. Maybe I am just unwilling to acknowledge that I have already been thinking my marriage is coming to an end. Colin and I have different interests, and he never shows me as much attention as Will does. We seem to just be staying together out of inertia rather than any desire for each other's company. I tell myself I am loyal, but that makes no difference as I am falling headlong for Will. I tell myself it's wring but I don't want to stop.

The girls in the shop all encourage me too. I have spoken with them about my frustrations with Colin and I guess they think it would do me a world of good to spend time with someone who makes me feel good about myself. Oh hell, I am not fooling anyone here am I. I crave his attention that is the honest truth. He is a man who knows his own mind. He is strong and he makes me feel weak, which I love about him. Colin used to make me feel that way but it turned into something else, his need to be in control. I wanted him to dominate me and make decisions on my behalf and be the man I needed. But what had started as his obsession with me had faded into his confining me. It was no longer about me, but about him.

Will is such a strong man too, and he knows his own mind. I feel giddy in his presence as though my brain becomes jelly with him around me. Today the sun is shining and he asks me to join him for a walk in the park. I can feel the sun's warmth upon my back while the lightness in my heart erupts into girlish giggles at whatever he says. I could not be happier knowing how Will goes out of his way to spend time with me.

"Tell me about your husband."

Oh God! He must have spotted my wedding ring. What should I say? I can't understand, why does he bring it up? I feel so embarrassed and guilty, yet I don't want to put him off. I feel bad about what I tell him, but I want him to want me. I tell him about the worst aspects of our marriage, all the things I am most fed up about in Colin. I feel vulnerable about being here with him, and I feel awful inside for telling this man bad things about my husband and that's when I realise how much I need him already. Deep down I tell myself I am not about to leave Colin, I just want Will to stay around.

"He controls everything. I have no money of my own. I have to get his approval even to buy my own clothes."

I am blushing, feeling so disloyal, but I tell myself that these things are true I am not making them up. How easily I allow myself to be fooled, how I do not notice all the good things about Colin that I do not mention. Will snorts. I can see his shoulders rise and fall as he chuckles. I expect him to say something against Colin, but he says,

"You like guys to take charge of you, don't you?" I am shocked at how easily he sees right through me. Am I that transparent? An electric thrill trills inside me. Is it possible this wonderful man that I cannot get enough of will also tap into my fantasy? Could he really be so perfect for me? Maybe I have been sending him subconscious signals and he is letting me know they are being received. I tell myself not to be so silly and he is not like that. Yet I cannot help but wonder whether I have found the strong dominant man I have lusted after. I wonder whether he might push me, keep me on my toes, make me work for his love. I am unnerved by my thoughts and aroused. A monster of passion that has slept inside me has been moved by his words. Anxiously I worry whether I would like that too much.

What is a life without passion? Colin may be there whenever I need him, he is dependable, but he will not make me feel as I feel right now. I should not think these thoughts, I should not feel this way. Yet in so few words Will has upset my thinking. We walk and talk in the sunshine through the park, and I hide as best I can the fire that has been ignited inside me. Will stops walking. I look around me, taking in for the first time where we are. We are in a secluded part of the park with mature bushes shielding a small private lawn. He turns to me.

"Would you like to earn some money that you can spend how you like?"

I laugh, as I laugh at anything he says. "Oh yeh!" I am sure he is just teasing me again.

"I'll give you £100 if you give me a blowjob right here, right now." I laugh again.

"Is that so? Well let's see your money then." There what will he say to that? Suddenly I stop laughing as he takes out of his wallet 5 crisp new £20 notes.

"I mean it. This is all yours if you give me a blowjob right here, where no one can see us."

I really don't know how to respond to that. It is still just a joke, isn't it? Yes surely it has to be.

"You say that to all the girls?" I respond coyly.

"I'm serious. Here take the money. Feel it in your hand. It is yours, just a quick blowjob. You can spend it how you like. What do you say?" He pushes the notes into my hand. This is becoming a bit too real and I feel uncomfortable.

"Are you serious?" I ask, turning all serious myself now.

"Yes. Serious."

This isn't right. I am upset.

"I am not a prostitute."

"I know you are not a prostitute Judy. I just love your company and you have a hot body. I can see you like me, don't you?"

I am irritated now. Why'd he have to ruin the mood with that prank? Did he really imagine I'd just give him a blowjob because he gave me some money to spend? I suddenly thought he knows I'm married and yet still he asks. I am fuming.

"I really do fancy you. You excite me. Just think of it as a little thank you. I want you to have it, and if the money can help you get some of the things you want but can't have, then its better you should have it."

He closes my fingers around the notes. I can feel him pushing me, and I like it - not that I would have let him know. I turn to him and say,

"I think I should be getting back to the shop now."

I can see he is disappointed in me. "I thought you liked me."

"I do," I say quickly afraid to disappoint him.

"Then think about it. I think you are very hot and I want you to have the money."

Think about it! I can't think about anything else. Was I right to disappoint him like that? Would I lose him? I knew my reaction had been the right one, that I should be angry but undeniably the idea of giving in and giving him what he wants is a turn on. It is a forbidden fruit. I have never done public sex before. In fact I have always been a good girl, dependable and doing the right thing. I start to feel resentful that as a result I have managed to deny myself some of the real pleasures in life.

I didn't mean to, but I start to think about doing it, doing something Colin would so strongly disapprove of, something that so excites me, so overtly sexual. It would be terribly wrong of me, and yet I cannot get it out of my mind. The way he just came out with it; that he told me I attracted him and then I thought of the money: the freedom of having some money of my own to spend as I like. I recall the cool, crispness of the notes in my hand: virgin notes. I am confused, an inner struggle between what is right and wanting him to push me beyond what I would otherwise dare not do. I liked the idea of him making me do something so outrageous. I know I am not a prostitute, and I fancy this man so it was not like he was some stranger. Stupid thing is he didn't need to pay me to give him a blowjob as I would have done it for him anyway. Yet agreeing to give him a blowjob in a public place for money was turning me on. It was like a dare. One that you instinctively know you should not rise to, but you secretly want the desire to overwhelm you.

The next day he walks into the shop and I feel relieved. I really had got myself into a stew thinking I had rejected him and would never see him again. I knew in that moment I would do it, and I knew he wanted me to do it. When he comes over I say,

"I'd like to go back to the park." He smiles at me.

"I am so glad you have changed your mind."

We wander back through the park. I feel nervous about what I am going to do, and excited. Relieved he is still here with me and appalled that as a married woman I would do this. I still wasn't sure I could go through with it. He takes out the money again and hands it to me.

"No one is going to see us and then this money will be all yours for you to spend."

There is always a tipping point. Not where the resistance collapses, it still fights on. It is the point where the balance of the argument shifts. This is the point where I know I am going to cave in. I still feel uncertain and I am still struggling with the idea, and in the midst of it all he leans over and kisses me. It is not the money, but how outrageous it all is. It would only take a moment and afterwards I would have the memory of it for ever. It is only when I wonder whether I am brave enough that my reservations are overcome.

"OK" I speak with such a small voice. I stuff the money into my purse. I still feel conflicted about the money. It is obviously an important aspect for me, although I am not sure exactly what to make of it. I imagine myself going around the shops and spending it whilst being reminded of how I had got it. I grab his hand and lead him over to a shady spot among the leaves of one of the large bushes. I stand there looking up at him suddenly feeling very nervous and unsure what to do next. I notice my hand shaking a little. Will quickly takes control of the situation, which I am relieved and excited for. I sense the revolt swell within me and I would have backed out even then if he had given me the chance.

"Judy, come here." I step forward and he strokes my cheek. "So pretty", he says and I can feel myself blushing. He holds my face while he kisses me deeply in the mouth. As we are kissing he takes hold of my right hand and presses it into his crotch. I can feel his hardness through his trousers and my eyes go wide. He is so aroused by me and I can feel my pussy responding.

We continue to kiss, the strength of his touch crackles within me and I feel his hand so large, so powerful, pushing mine up and down, rubbing the length of his stiff cock. I can feel the urgency of his tongue as he explores my mouth. I am getting worked up now thinking of this huge length inside me. I wonder whether anybody is walking by, whether we are being seen. I tilt my head up, opening myself more to the penetration of his tongue. I am rubbing feverishly, pressing the palm of my hand into the underside of his cock and the unyielding flesh excites me.

"Take it out," he whispers. I keep my eyes firmly fixed upon his as I pull and tug at the zip. It catches, it is not easy and I have to use both hands, but I dare not take my eyes from his face. I struggle to get his cock out of his trousers because he is so erect, but finally it is free and springs out waving in the fresh air between us. I am thrilled at the sight of it, so big, so swollen and red ready to burst. It looks glorious, with a beautiful shaped purple tip that I instinctively want to feel on my lips. He lifts my chin and slides one of his finger into my mouth and I suck upon it before moving down to his glorious cock. I sink to my knees and start kissing the head tentatively and soon I am enthusiastically sucking and licking.

"How far down can you go?"

I pull away and reply, "Not very far. It makes me gag."

"Try."

I go back to work on his cock, taking as much as I can. He shows me how to wrap my hand around the shaft and move up and down in time with my mouth. His hands are on my head as I bob up and down his shaft. I am getting beautifully aroused. Then suddenly his hands grip me and I feel him tense. He erupts into my mouth.

"Swallow it all, otherwise you will stain your clothes."

I have never swallowed before, but with him holding my head I have no choice. After the initial horror, I find the taste of his cum is really quite nice. I suck hard to squeeze the last drops of his seed out before putting his cock back into his trousers. I look up at him and he is smiling at me. He holds out his hand and lifts me and we stand opposite each other as he stares intently into my face. My heart flutters at what I have just done. He lifts my finger and guides me to clean some cum that is trapped in the corners of my mouth. Once it is all scooped up he pushes my finger into my mouth so I can clean it.

He continues to smile at me as he runs his fingers through my hair gently. I feel an odd mixture of revulsion and achievement. I have done it. Will leans in and kisses me again.

"Have you ever done sex for money before?"

"No!" This time I am not as vehement as before. He smiles. I know now, the money is part of the game.

"Thank you. That was a great blowjob. You are really good."

He smiles once more and then turns and walks away. I stand there in shock, trying to take it in. How quickly he disappears. Was he disappointed in me? Did he consider the blowjob had not been worth the money he had paid? Was that why? With a heavy heart I return home.

The taste of his cum remains with me for the rest of the day. From time to time suddenly and unexpectedly I can taste his glorious aftertaste upon my tongue. It disconcerts me as I sit opposite Colin that evening with the taste of Will lingering in my mouth. I think about the cum in my belly that I had swallowed. I had never done anything like that before, and I think about the money in my purse and the wickedness of it all leaves me smiling.

The next day I am all on edge through the entire day. Would he turn up? Was he disappointed in me? The hours drag by so slowly and as the hope of seeing Will fades I am left utterly miserable. The girls of course are full of questions and I can't bring myself to tell them about what I did in the park. So I tell them everything else and I can see they are excited for me. They tell me of course he will show up and yet as the day passes their tune changes to he probably is just very busy. The next day he still doesn't show up and I am feeling miserable. Even the girls seem to have started doubting. I can see it in their eyes despite the words they are telling me. They are beginning to wonder whether there was something more I forgot to tell them.

That evening Colin notices I am not myself. "Is everything ok? You seem out of sorts."

"Oh I am just tired that's all. I think I'll go take a shower." I can't stay around him. I am so afraid he will suspect something and then I tell myself, there is nothing any more for him to suspect. Will has gone. I blew it. The water cascades over my head and over the contours of my body. I feel trapped, in the wrong place with the wrong man. I felt so sure he wanted me, how could I lose him just like that?

The third day Will breezes into the shop and I am immediately relieved, excited and on edge. I have to make sure to get it right today, this is my second chance.

"Sorry, been busy the last couple of days. Can you get some time off today?"

Everyone in the shop is relieved and they whisper good luck as I walk out with Will into a clear, bright day with big fluffy white clouds chasing each other slowly overhead. I talk and talk. I know I am doing it, but I am nervous and want to make sure he is entertained.

"I have missed you," he says.

"I was worried you were disappointed with me." I hang my head, afraid of what he might say next. He stops and turns towards me and puts his arm around my waist.

"Not in the least. In fact I was hoping we might make another arrangement today. I brought the money."

What he says fills me with such huge relief that I burst out laughing, all the doubts instantly evaporating.

"That won't be necessary this time." I am back to my fun-loving, carefree, laughing self.

"But I insist. I want you to have the money." I love how he is being very caring towards me. I just smile and lead him back into the park to our little secluded spot. He kisses me like before and I need no prompting as I reach out to feel his hardness. This time before I can unzip him he pulls back and looks directly into my face.

"Take off your blouse," he whispers.

"Here?"

My eyes go wide. I couldn't believe he meant it. What here in public?

"It will be ok."

Even less believable is that I am going to do it, but I force myself to focus upon making sure he is not disappointed in me. My heart pounds in my chest, and yet just having him next to me, his confidence that everything will be ok somehow melts my resistance. He is taking charge and I don't have to decide what to do, I can just trust him. My hands are sweaty and I struggle with the buttons on my blouse. I feel the heat in my face as I blush furiously. My heart thuds as I imagine being caught at any moment. It seems to take so long but eventually I pull it away from my chest and down my arms. It falls on the grass behind me.

"Now the bra" he says. I am fumbling with the catch, my hands don't seem to respond properly any more, yet despite the effort I manage to undo it and slide it off. My breasts immediately react to the cool air and my nipples harden. They are very sensitive and I don't know if I can take him touching them. I can't seem to keep them still, my breathing is so rapid that it makes them quiver and he is staring at them. He takes ages studying them as I stand there half undressed before him. I love his eyes upon my nakedness, like some slave girl presented at market. He reaches out and cups them in his large, warm hands, lifting them gently before burying his face between them. I relax into his caress, reassured by how gentle he is with me.