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Hidden Desires

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Derrick Andrews sat at his desk as he had nearly every workday for the ten years he had worked at Trellis and Company. He was a systems engineer and made good money for doing work he felt a monkey could do at the business consulting firm. He made even better money for his employer. However, the work he was doing bored him to tears. In college he had been excited to learn how to produce the code that made computers perform. His first tens years working at various firms pounding out code and moving up the ladder felt like a dream to him. He imagined that he would spend his entire working life involved in challenging and exciting projects.

Derrick jumped at the opportunity George Trellis offered him. He was to head a team and have his own accounts. At first the job was everything he dreamed it would be; it was challenging and rewarding on top of extremely well paid. However, if anything he was too good at what he did. He was quickly promoted and soon no longer had direct involvement in the actual work of creating computer programs. He was in his mind no more than a babysitter for the company's best corporate clients. He might well have quit if not for his wife's lifestyle requiring he maintain the high six figure income the job provided. He knew of no hands-on job anywhere that would pay him even half what Trellis paid.

Sadly, his home life was not any better. His wife had clearly enjoyed the freedom that his 80 plus hour work weeks had afforded her when he was working his way up the ladder. Having achieved success he seldom needed more than 50 hours a week and often found 40 hours too many. More hours together had a negative impact on the couple's closeness. Upon close inspection the relationship had never really been much more than two good looking people who enjoyed a passionate sex life while sharing a home. When he got together with his wife he didn't have time for love. Cheryl Andrews, his wife was never a romantic. She had seen him as a stud that would be a much better than average provider. She loved sex and he was a good fuck who demanded little of her. In the beginning they were perfect for each other.

As they spent more time together their sexual liaisons diminished in frequency and after time intensity. They went from near nightly sweaty animal-like carnal encounters filled with intense passion to barely once a month sex that felt more like an obligation than pleasure. The marriage likely would have ended except for the two teenaged children they had, which both were determined to raise in a traditional two parent household. The odd thing was that all this had occurred without any discussion at all. Neither Derrick nor Cheryl ever mentioned the changes in their sex life or brought up feelings. They seldom talked about anything other than the children. For the most part they didn't even acknowledge the situation in their own minds.

Cheryl managed to continue to live her life as she had with a social life that was mostly separate from her husband. Derrick had never bothered much with socializing and at 45 had no idea how to cultivate friendships. That is why on a Friday evening at six o'clock when he should have been out of the office for at least an hour he continued to sit at his desk. His wife was going to dinner and a movie with some girlfriends. His children were sleeping over at friend's houses. His big house was cold, dark and empty. The cook was off on Fridays and the maid never worked at night. So he sat there hoping some client somewhere would need something that would lead to him having something interesting to do.

Since that call did not come he began wandering around on the internet; something he found himself doing more often than not in his growing free time. He started by reading news online and soon discovered that he could research and buy products. When he no longer found shopping of interest he moved to playing games which led to low stakes on-line gambling. But even the thrill of winning and losing money was losing its luster. A couple of times he had found his way to chat rooms. Though the purported topics in the rooms seemed benign, no matter the stated topic he soon sensed the constant undercurrent of sexual tension. Up to that point he had turned down the few requests he had received for private chats that started with what he thought were come-ons. He had no interest in playing on-line sex games.

There was one thing that had piqued his interest. About half of the requests he thought were propositions came from other men. Derrick had always been a totally straight man, who never gave any thought to the idea of gay sex. He had no prejudice against gay men and in his heart could understand the attraction; he just didn't have any attraction to men. The closest he came to anything remotely homosexual was the occasional quick glance at a naked man's equipment in a locker room. He considered that merely comparing what he had to the rest of the world. As the women he had fucked over the years could tell him he was defiantly above average in that area. His cock was a tad over seven inches and thick. One former girlfriend had even praised it as especially attractive.

On this particular Friday it was not chat rooms or men that were on his mind. Nor was he interested in the news or playing poker. He was agitated. It was a feeling he knew came from horniness and sexual frustration. Though he didn't keep track it had been four weeks since he had fucked his wife and at least two weeks since he had jerked off. He had never been much of a masturbator. But since his sex life had slowed, he had rediscovered what he thought was a thing only sad single man and teenage boys did. Were he honest he would have admitted he had discovered a whole new level of pleasure could be had jerking off.

Derrick got up, closed and locked his office door. He knew anyone who was still in the building would think that he had gone home. Only an emergency would give someone cause to use a master key to enter his private space. Due to the late nights many worked at Trellis, the cleaning crews were forbidden to come in until well after midnight. He knew he had at least six hours of uninterrupted privacy. Before returning to his desk chair and his planned search for pornography to prime the pump, he striped down to his boxers. He didn't want to get any stray cum on his expensive suit.

His first move was to enter a program he wrote that masked all activities he did on his office computer. It was a clever little program that most people would call a virus. It completely fooled the programs the company's security team put in place to monitor employee activity. So instead of logging Derrick's porn surfing the system would show him as inactive until the secret program was terminated. Writing that program was the most fun he had had in a long time. He often mused that had the company given him projects as challenging as defeating company security he would be willing to work for free.

Next he opened Google and typed, 'Amateur blow job video,' hoping to find some home made videos of sexy college chicks sucking their boyfriend's dicks. He had been amazed at how many people were willing posting such compromising material. His wife gave up fellatio years ago which made getting his cock sucked his biggest fantasy. In a microsecond a list of possibilities popped up on his screen. He picked a promising one and was presented with a kind of girls gone wild type scene that seemed to have been filmed in a college dorm room. At first all that was visible were two average looking twenty-year old girls doing a dual strip tease. The girls though not what he would call especially pretty had nice bodies. Both of them had a little extra meat on their bones which Derrick preferred to the overly skinny look. They had nice medium sized tits which jiggled enticingly as they wiggled around. The pair looked so much alike; he briefly wondered if they were sisters.

It wasn't apparent that there was a guy present until a deep voice was heard encouraging the girls to rub their titties together. The two brunettes seemed more than happy to comply. Derrick was fascinated by the completely amateur attempt to make a porn video and excited by the sight of two young women cavorting for at least one guy. After the girls got completely naked and shook their bodies for the camera while touching and kissing each other for several minutes, one the girls demanded a turn with the camera. By that point Derrick had pushed his boxers down and was fondling his balls while his cock slowly inflated. The picture bounced and went blank as the cameraman handed his camera over to the naked coed.

When the picture came back on, the screen was filled by two very fit young men wearing only tee shirts and snug fitting trunk style underwear. They simultaneously pulled their shirts off revealing taut muscular torsos that screamed athlete. The girls could be heard cooing about the guys they were apparently about to fuck on camera while Derrick marveled at the well toned bodies of the young men. He also wondered if the four students realized that their little game could have a long term effect on their futures. Those thoughts disappeared when one of the girls squealed that it was time for the guys to show off their packages. These two guys definitely weren't shy. They quickly removed their underwear and stood as if they were proudly displaying their hard cocks for the girls.

The taller of the two guys, had a short fat dick that Derrick judged to be no more than five inches long. The other guy who was at least six inches shorter than his friend had a much longer and skinnier cock. Derrick figured it to be maybe an inch or so shorter than his own. If the guy hadn't been such a stud otherwise, he would definitely fit the nickname pencil dick geek. But it wasn't the length or the thickness that most caught Derrick's attention. The long thin dick was uncircumcised. Derrick was born in a time when most people routinely had the foreskin of their male babies cut off at birth. Growing up all of his locker room mates had been cut and the majority of guys he had seen at his gym were close to his age or older and tended to be circumcised. The few times that he had encountered uncut cocks in his life did not afford him an opportunity to get a good look. Of course they were all flaccid, which was a very different look then the picture he was viewing.

Derrick paused the video and zoomed in a little on the young man's dick. His fascination was born of an almost scientific curiosity. As opposed to what he found to be the somewhat ugly looking shriveled pieces of skin he had seen on uncut soft cocks in the locker room, the cock on his computer screen showed a very pink head, just peaking out of a taut hood of red rimmed skin. The area glistened as if the guy was already leaking huge amounts of pre cum. After a minute Derrick shook his head and silently admonished himself for doing such a queer thing.

When he started the video playing again one of the girls stepped into the frame. For a moment the camera focused on her full ass. Derrick imagined sliding his cock between her enticing rounded orb-like buttocks before the girl holding the camera moved so that the guy's cocks were once again the stars of the show. As the girl with the hot ass moved her fingers to the young men's genitals and began to tease their hard cocks, Derrick reflected on what he found most unusual about the pair of naked athletes. They both groomed their pubic hair. Where one usually saw a mass of hair there was just a small neat very short cropped patch. Though he had seen many pictures of women who trimmed and shaved and his wife kept herself hairless below the waist he had never seen men with their pubic hair groomed.

His contemplation of below the waist haircuts soon faded as the girl got more into stroking the pair of cocks. Derrick's hand began to move up and down his own cock as he imagined being one of the two lucky college boys on the screen. As he felt his balls tightening and the familiar feeling of imminent ejaculation, the girl with the camera said something that stopped Derrick cold.

"Ok boys, time for paybacks. We want to see you touch each other," He heard a sweet disembodied voice say over the guy's heavy breathing.

"What, you can't be serious?" One of the guys protested as the girl that was stroking them backed away.

"Hell yes we were serious! You agreed to do it if we did it for you. You had your show now rub those hot dicks together," The girl with the camera insisted as she zoomed in on the guys.

"What the fuck, fine," the taller guy said as he reached for his friend's much larger cock.

The other guy seemed far more hesitant, but once his friend got started he too complied. As the guys stood there tentatively touching each other's hard cocks, Derrick started to reach for the mouse. He intended to pick a new video clip. The girl who had been stroking the guys next move delayed his switch. She moved back into the picture and pressed her body against the back of the shorter guy.

"Come on guys you need to get into this or we are going to leave," She threatened as she pushed the boys closer to together.

"Yeah, start stroking those cocks," The other girl squealed.

Apparently having a naked girl pressed to his backside emboldened the short kid. He started stroking his friend's dick and causing it to rub against his own. The taller guy must have liked the feeling because he was soon stroking his friend. Derrick felt disturbed by his interest in the action and again moved to click off the video. Another scene change stopped him again. After a couple minutes the taller guy let go of his friend and backed up.

"Ok, you got your show; time for the big finale. Give me the camera and get busy sucking our cocks as promised, ladies," He insisted.

"Sure you wouldn't rather take it up a level first?" The girl asked as she handed over the camera.

The next thing on the screen was a view of the two girls in a tight embrace sharing a very wet and sloppy kiss.

"I ain't fucking kissing Todd if that is what you have in mind," The tall one said emphatically.

"That wasn't what I had in mind. It would be a really hot scene if you guys sucked each other and we licked each other's pussies for ya," The former camera girl shot back in a sassily sexy tone.

Todd who still had his hand on the bigger guy's smallish cock, looked like he might be considering going for the offer, or at least calling her bluff. But the other guy was clearly not interested.

"Fuck no!' He barked. "You two little bitches made a deal. Only reason we are here with you was the promise of a no strings blow job. I know you aren't going to back out."

The tall kid had a menacing scowl on his face at that point. It was enough to make Todd let go of the kid's dick and join in the demand that the girls get on their knees as promised.

"Relax, boys, we are going to honor the deal. Just thought you were men enough to really do something hot. We better be getting something afterward though, "The sassy girl said as the pair of naked coeds knelt in front of the guys.

For about five minutes the tall guy did a decent job of filming the double blow job and Derrick got back into jerking off. When the cameraman came the picture went black for a few seconds. When it came back on Todd was being serviced by both girls. One was between his legs sucking his balls while the other was doing her best to swallow his cock. By the time Todd was explaining that he hardly ever came from a blowjob alone and asking which girl was going to let him fuck her, Derrick's cock erupted, sending a huge load of cum onto his chest and belly. He was in an orgasmic daze as he watched the compact stud mount one of the girls while the taller guy started eating the other girl's pussy.

He didn't even bother watching the conclusion of the video. Once he recovered from the powerful climax he shut off the web browser and began cleaning himself up. Masturbation sessions like that always left him feeling odd. He enjoyed the sensation, but once it was done he felt ashamed and a little dirty. Rationally, he knew it was because of the way he was brought up and the attitude he had experienced that masturbation was wrong and something only desperate men did. He was smart enough to know that wasn't true, but still he had issues. That particular day there was even more to make him feel that he had violated taboos. The idea that he had enjoyed watching two guys touch each other made things much more shameful.

Derrick quickly got dressed and headed for his empty house. As he sat around the family room watching some old movie on cable and drinking beer he kept thinking back to the video. To his surprise as he thought about the scenes the clearest picture he got in his mind was of the two cocks. He saw them stroking each other and then saw the girls sucking them. Despite his efforts to block out the thoughts he began to wonder what it would be like to suck a cock. He had been pretty adventurous sexually before marriage. Though he had never even considered including other guys in those adventures he had still managed to try what he considered to be most things. That included letting a chick fuck him with a strap on dildo a couple of times. He hadn't considered that the least bit queer, but his thoughts about sucking cock really had him concerned.

The concern grew when he got a hard on that he couldn't wish away. Figuring he had to do something or risk his wife coming home to find him on the sofa in that condition he went into the powder room. After yanking his pants down to his knees he stood in front of the sink jacking off. At first he just looked in the mirror at his own hard cock. That soon led to more thoughts of other cocks. He closed his eyes and allowed the fantasy to play in his head. He was with the two college boys in the video. The girls weren't there and the camera was apparently running itself. At first he was playing with the two guys cocks like the big assed chick in the video had. Soon in his mind he and the college boys were taking turns sucking each other's dicks. That fantasy ended when he shot a wad of cum into the pedestal sink where his guests washed their hands.

He quickly cleaned off his dick and headed upstairs to bed. He was too ashamed to face his wife that night and decided to get to sleep before she came home. Had he known where she really was his shame would have turned to anger. Cheryl was being ridden doggie style by her current boyfriend who ironically came at almost the same moment Derrick shot his wad into the sink. It was her second long term affair in the last three years and at least the tenth man she had fucked since their marriage. Derrick had never suspected his wife of cheating on him. She had kept mum about her infidelities even when he had admitted to her that he had had one brief affair of his own. Had he given it much thought he might have suspected something was amiss when she so easily forgave him.

Cheryl was pleasantly surprised to find him snoring when she finally came home. His being asleep meant that there was no chance he would want sex and might notice the extra lubricant left in her cunt by her boyfriend. Things had definitely changed for her. If not for her commitment to raising her children in a two-parent household she would have left Derrick. She was in love with her boyfriend and enjoying sex the way she had when she was much younger. Though she thought her husband was a good fuck she had never found the hard working man able to fully satisfy her needs. That is why she had fucked other men over the years. But those had been purely about sex. The last two and the current one especially was about emotional connections as well as carnal needs.

As she settled in to go to sleep herself she noticed that Derrick was unusually active. He was tossing about and mumbling. Fortunately, his words were unintelligible. His dreams were filled with images of homosexual liaisons most of the night. The next morning he resolved to stay away from internet porn. He had erroneously placed the blame for his sudden interest in cock sucking on viewing porn. He had long forgotten the first time he experienced a cock sucking fantasy.

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