High School Duke

Walking the hall after first period, I had apparently gone from invisible to the most popular guy in school. I am not someone who dawdles between classes, never have been. I don't even use my locker in between periods, preferring to keep all of my books with me. It affords me the opportunity to get some homework done from the prior class while the rest of the masses are scurrying around trying not to be tardy. But as I headed to the next class, I heard more hello's in those five minutes than I have the whole year.

After my second hour History class, I waited. Not normal for me but this has been a not normal day. I figured if I waited, the rest of student body would be more in a hurry to not be tardy than to try to talk to me. I stared at the clock, watching the second hand make its repeated trip until I knew I could afford no more time. In an instant, I darted for the door, and hopefully a less than incommodious experience.

It was not to be. I swear she was like a ninja. I didn't see her coming nor did I feel her presence until she was right on top of me. She was cute, in a Goth sort of way. Her pixie hair was a mixture of black and purple. Her black t-shirt hung off her slender body and her jeans had a hole in the right knee. She wore black lipstick and had several piercings: three in each ear, her nose, and tongue.

"Hi, I'm Jocelyn." My back was as stiff as a board up against the lockers. Her arms were on either side of me as she leaned in. "I know a lot of girls are vying for your affection, so I'm going to go ahead and throw my name into the hat."

Hat? What hat? Where is this hat so I can burn it?

Jocelyn forced me to make eye contact and moved in. Her lips pressed against mine. I cringed but she didn't relent. Her tongue pried itself through the barrier my lips were making and began to twirl and curl in all planes of geometry. It was my first kiss and I didn't know what to do. All I wanted was to be able to breathe. She wouldn't stop, almost as if she was waiting for me to do something. I closed my eyes. What could she want? Acknowledgement... I flicked my tongue against hers and prayed. I felt her smile and then saw it as she released me.

"I know I'm not the prettiest or the smartest, but I've always liked you. I won't be superficial but I'm certain we would be wonderful together. I only ask that you keep me under consideration."

I was like a gargoyle molded into the lockers. I stood pasted to the metal, waiting for any part of my anatomy to function. Finally, my lips moved and I squeaked out, "Okay." No one heard it as Jocelyn had already left, along with everyone else, leaving me in the silence of the hallway. I was late for another class.

In my third hour, Advanced Placement English, we were assigned an essay on the first two chapters of George Orwell's 'Animal Farm'. I went right to work and was on a roll when a large shadow was cast over me. It was so large and came so suddenly, I thought it was going to rain. I looked up only to find all 500 pounds of Harold Parks staring at me. He literally could have stunt doubled for Fat Bastard in the Austin Powers movies. His shadow weighed more than me.

"Hey Baby, would you be interested in going to that new all you can eat buffet called Boss Hog? We could have a real good time together. Just me and you." Harold then winked at me and moved his hand toward mine.

I now have a fear more prolific than females, and that is Harold tripping forward right now. With his bitch tits, my suffocation would be guaranteed. I jumped from my seat, my patience for the day now completely gone and I screamed, "What the hell is going on today? Why is everyone infatuated with me?" Harold immediately shied away, hands in the air as if saying no offense. In response to my outburst, all I received was a "Hush, be quiet" from Mrs. Proctor.

I turned around, daring anybody to try to come up to me. Seeing no takers, I sat back down and resumed my essay.

Not even five minutes later, another shadow came across my paper, but this one seemed to be the size of a pencil compared to the last one. "Um, Dean."

"What?" I said as irritated as possible as my eyes looked up to see Penelope Sanders in front of me.

"I don't want a date, I don't want hang out, and I don't want to get something to eat."

"Then leave me alone."

"I understand, but I just wanted to tell you that everyone knows you're royalty. Vice Principal Carpenter had you on speaker phone yesterday and you know how much Kimberly Meyers loves to gossip."

My head fell to the desk and I covered it with my hands. "So that's what happened," I sighed. "And I'm not royalty. I'm a Duke. It's just a title. A title that can be purchased online for $400. You can't buy a monarchy."

"Oh, well, I just wanted to let you know what happened." Penelope turned on her heels to walk away.

"Thank you," I said as sincerely as possible and surprisingly, without an ounce of fear. I was more relieved that she wasn't trying to molest me or something.

Penelope tilted her head toward me and blushed a little, "You're welcome," and scampered away.

Class was over and again, I waited. Being my lunch break, I was in no hurry to leave the sanctuary of this classroom. I was going to the library, but I was already found there once today. Is nothing sacred? The bell rang and I walked the hall, my head on a swivel. I didn't want any more ninja attacks or undue surprises.

I peeked around every corner and I was on my tiptoes going through the stacks of books as I took the long way through the library to get to the tables in the back. I literally felt the tension lift from my shoulders and exhaled a sigh of relief as I sat, alone at a table. Is this how Atlas felt? I sifted through my backpack for the macroeconomics book I was reading earlier.

'The AD-AS model shows the price level and level of real output given the equilibrium in aggregate demand and aggregate supply. The aggregate demand curve's downward slope means that more output is demanded at lower price levels."

Suddenly, the table shook as someone dropped a heavy book on it.

Now what?

I peered over the spine of the book to see two of the finest unintellectual students Hilldale High has ever produced, if they ever graduate. Paul and Brian were friends, and idiot stoners to boot. I doubt either of them had ever taken a shower because they reeked of something, probably a combination of something. Depending on what drug they were on right now, this encounter could be funny, physical, or they may just pass out. Let's hope for the latter.

"So, is this who everyone's been talking about?" The one on the left said. I never bothered to try and differentiate from the two of them. "The G.I.Joe guy?"

My eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Do you think he could get us a date with that Scarlet chick?" The other one asked. "She's hot."

"Hell yeah she is!" The other one exclaimed and then they both giggled as if they were seven-year-old girls.

"What on earth are you two talking about?" I sat there dumbfounded; worried that encouraging this banter will lower my I.Q.

"You're that Duke guy, right? From G.I. Joe?" The first one spoke.

"To be honest, we were expecting you to have more muscle." The second one moved next to me and squeezed my arm to feel absolutely nothing.

"I think you have me being a Duke mistaken for my name is Duke," I shook my head in disbelief. There went fifty IQ points...

"Oh," They both said it and they both drew out the word.

"In that case," the first one replied and came around to my other side. "Can we have a thousand dollars? Since your rich and all that."

Damn. "I don't have any money." My head kept rotating between the two pillars next to me.

"If you don't want to give it to us, we can just take it from you," the second one put his hand on my shoulder.

I gave my nervous chuckle and then, in a great act of speed, well... speed for me anyway, I slid to the floor and crawled under the table. I wonder if my Father ever had to do this? The two teens began to circle but I was quicker. Thank Goodness they were unstable from being high already. I darted out the door and turned some corners and I was certain I lost them as I made one final turn. I leaned against the wall, gasping for some air.

"I found him." It was spoken in a whisper.

I looked in both directions and saw no one. I wasn't even sure which way the voice came from. I waited a few moments, waiting for the mystery to be solved, but I then felt the uncomfortable sensation I was being stalked as if I were prey. I didn't know where to go, but I did deduce I needed to leave. Now.

I went down the corridor to my left, glancing over my shoulder every couple of steps, hoping upon hope I chose wisely. I reached the end of the 'T' shaped hallway and made a left. I bumped into two girls and staggered back.

"Sorry," I muttered as I took a step back, fearful of even looking up to see whom that I bumped into.

"Slow down there tiger," one of the girls chuckled.

Funny, I felt more like a lamb about to get slaughtered by tigers. "Excuse me." I turned to flee the other way and five more girls appeared; two from behind me and three from the direction in which I came. I was trapped. All seven of the girls were fit. All had toned, slender bodies and all of them had their varying colored hair in ponytails. Based on their uniforms, they were seven members of our varsity basketball team.

"Well," the blonde in the middle of the group of three started, "we finally found you."

That's twice in two school days I have apparently been lost. "What can I do for you ladies?" I took a step back and they stepped forward.

"Oh no Dean, it's what we can do for you." I didn't like the smirk on her face as she said that. "We are offering you every man's fantasy. Seven of us and one of you. Just take us with you. Since I am the captain, you will marry me, but you will have access to all of us."

"That's not what we agreed on, Kara!" A tall brunette announced from my right and the five others seemed to agree with her displeasure.

I took this moment to slide to my left and behind the raven haired girl that was now focused on her captain.

"Okay, okay, you will be with us all and then choose... Hey, where did he go?"

I started running with seven girls in hot pursuit. Just living every man's fantasy. I made two lefts and ran into Ms. Barnes. She stumbled back and I fell on my posterior.

"Slow down young man!" Ms. Barnes straightened her navy blue blouse. I was scrambling to get up, knowing what was coming from behind. "What's your hurry anyway?" She looked down at me, "Oh, you're that Franklin kid." Her head darted up at the sound of the stampede about to turn the corner. "This way," She grabbed my arm and pulled me into her dark office. We hid out of sight, my back against the wall with her right in front of me, her arms blocking me on both sides as seven rampaging girls trampled past.

"Where did he go?" One stated as the herd went by.

"Ah, man. This is worse than when Coach Schmidt makes us do wind sprints," a second declared.

I was still catching my breath as I looked up to her. "Thanks for that."

Due to her high heels, Ms. Barnes was slightly taller than I and several strands of her curly dirty blonde hair were tickling my nose. I brushed them aside and noticed she was staring at a point right above me. I was about to ask if she was all right when she took a deep breath and looked at me with a pristine smile. "I'm only five years older than you. Would you be interested in finding out if we were compatible?" She licked her lips and her hand snaked down.

I know most male adolescents have had certain fantasies. Sex with a teacher. Orgy with the girls' basketball team. Sex with the captain of the cheerleaders. And I am no different from anyone else. But there is a difference between fantasy and reality. These women didn't want me. They wanted my wealth. I use them once and they use me for life. So as much as I would love to have sex with this woman in front of me, it is not 'no strings attached' and I am not prepared for what they want of me. Hell, I'm not sure I'm prepared for the sex. So with her right arm away from the wall, I twisted in that direction. Ms. Barnes was blocking the way into the hall, but there was another door. I ran to it with the girl's physical education teacher right behind me.

I entered into the school swimming pool.

"What are you doing here?" Mr. Draper called to me following my interruption to the boys swim class.

There were exits to my right and left, but the girl's basketball team had filtered in from each side. I looked in each direction and decided suddenly that I wanted to play water volleyball. I dove in. When I emerged, I noticed Ms. Barnes had never entered the area and the basketball players were receding back into the hallway.

"Get out of the pool. Now!" Mr. Draper had gone from curious to pissed off. I climbed the ladder, completely soaked and the towering man grabbed me from behind by my underarm and started to pull me to one of the exits. "Josh, watch the class." And then he mumbled, "Disrupt my class."

I had no fight left and so this time I was hauled to the Vice Principal's office. Mr. Draper tossed me to the side and marched right into Mr. Carpenter's office. He was only in there a minute before stomping out and he gave me an intimidating glare as he passed. I was called in immediately and as I stood, I left a watermark of my ass on the chair I was sitting in.

"Being a Duke," Vice Principal Carpenter started as he gestured for me to sit down, "doesn't give you the right to disturb everyone else's education, even if it was swimming. You want to tell me why?" The Vice Principal's eyes were like ice as he stared at me.

"Cause I was being chased," I mumbled. At this point, I was ready to go home, err, the hotel, or anywhere really. I would have let Abigail drag me on an all-day shopping spree if it meant I could leave this school right now.

"What was that?"

"Cause I was being chased!" I stood as I exploded. "Everywhere I went today, a girl, or a gaggle of girls, or boys, and even a teacher have been chasing me around and now I'm here, getting in trouble for all of it." After my rant, I glanced toward Vice Principal Carpenter and sat back down, "Sorry about that."

Vice Principal Carpenter sat back in his chair, his hands folded on his desk. "I tend to give people new to my office some benefit of the doubt, but that is a lot to take in; especially since after Friday, you are not new to my office. You are obviously very frustrated so I'm going to send you home for a few days so you understand I don't appreciate being lied to, especially in my own office. Now call who you need to call and leave my school."

I called Abigail and explained the situation. Afterwards, I was instructed to sit in the waiting area outside the office. I sat with my head held low, actually grateful for the reprieve from the day. The bell rang, signaling the start of the last class of the day. I should be in Physics class. I wonder if Mr. Poole was true to his word about the grade of my midterm?

"You should just pick me and get it over with."

I glanced up and saw the girl who started it all, Kimberly Meyers. "I hear I owe my new found fame to you."

"And now you should give me the title I already deserve." Kimberly flipped her hair like she always does. Annoying really. "You know I am the only girl in this school worthy of the honor to be called Duchess."

"Get the fuck away from me!" I was both loud and harsh with my venom. All eyes in the room were glued to me and Kimberly turned on her heels, leaving with a "Humph" sound. "I swear is there one person in this school not trying to use me?" I leaned my head back against the wall, taking deep breaths to attempt to quell my tension.

There was a soft touch on my hand, light as a feather, and an equally soft voice came with it. "I truly apologize this happened to you. But I am not trying to get with you, connive you, or use you in anyway." I looked up to see Penelope standing almost fearfully in front of me. "And if you feel the need to talk, you can come to me without worry that I have ulterior motives." She gave me a warm smile and went to walk away.

"Penelope. Will you sit with me for a little while?"

She turned back and sat demurely in the seat next to me. We sat in silence for a few minutes, Penelope staring off into the existence and me gazing at the little dots on the ceiling and bless her heart; she didn't even try to make conversation. For some reason her presence was comforting after the horrid day I've had and she somehow knew it. Finally, after my stress ebbed away, I looked at her and gave a soft smile. "Thank you."

Penelope blushed as she nodded a little, "So how did your essay on 'Animal Farm' turn out?"

We were still talking when Abigail walked passed. She had a scowl attached to her face as she forced her way into Vice Principal Carpenter's office and slammed the door. It didn't matter. Everyone could hear Abigail. I was just grateful to see she brought me some clothes.

"What kind of Keystone cop operation are you running here?" Abigail seethed. "My employer, your student, came to school today to learn and instead spends the day being molested and chased into a pool! Can you not control what happens in this school?"

"How dare you talk to me like that in my office?" Vice Principal Carpenter rebutted. "Now you listen here, I had Dean call you because he was being a nuisance in the swimming pool."

"A nuisance? Him? Do you even know what happened in your building today?"

It then got quiet. Five minutes later, the door opened and Vice Principal Carpenter could have been a double for Casper the Friendly Ghost. Abigail smugly brushed by him and suddenly stopped. Her face went from fierce to jubilation at the sight of Penelope and me sitting together.

"Um, Dean," Vice Principal Carpenter started, his tone barely above a whisper. "You're free to go for the day and there won't be any reprimand. You can attend classes tomorrow." He turned back into his office and as he shut the door, I heard him muttering about Principal Larsen's leave of absence again.

I stood up, "Are you ready?"

Abigail looked at me and then to Penelope and then back at me. Her smile could have crossed the Atlantic Ocean. "We're in no hurry, take your time."

I rolled my eyes and started walking toward the bathroom, "I just need to change and collect my bag from the library and then we can go."

Abigail was right next to me. "She's cute. What's her name?"

"Penelope Sanders."

"Did you ask her out?"

That was like telling me I had a second head and my facial expression matched my feelings. "No," I said as if it should have been obvious.

"You should, Your Grace." Abigail was undeterred. "I will help you. We can go on a couple of dates ourselves so you can get the gist of what to do and expect. After all I am only six years older than you."

"Really?" I'm not sure if I answered to the whole date idea or her age, but I did almost cringe as I said it. It's not that I found Abigail revolting, quite the opposite, and the idea had merit as I was forewarned I would be in a union with someone eventually and I definitely could use the practice but... I don't know. My muscles were getting tense and my hands were becoming clammy as my overactive nerves were already voicing their displeasure. I decided to change the subject, "How did you get my suspension lifted?"

I didn't look at Abigail, but I could hear the amusement in her voice to my changing our conversation. "On my way here, I stopped and spoke to a gentleman named Ralph Westwood, the head of the school board. I informed him that I was now going to attend school with you as your bodyguard. He typed a letter saying as such and signed it. The look of exasperation on the Vice Principal's face was priceless when I pulled that paper from my briefcase. He even called Mr. Westwood to verify it. My favorite part of any meeting, business or personal, is when you know you have your opponent by the balls and can manipulate them to your will."