Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 004

"She's been fascinated by this place since she was a little girl," Elizabeth informed him. "I would like for you to actually look at our offer this time, Mr. Radley. Strongly consider it. I promise you that this home will only become a burden, one that the women of the Society will be more than happy to take on." She held the folder out.

"I'll look, but no promises." Mike took the folder, and Elizabeth's finger briefly touched his. He felt a tiny spark, and suddenly Elizabeth's smile finally reached her eyes.

"We'll be in touch," she told him, moving off the steps and down the walkway to the street. Sarah smirked, following her mother out to a sports car parked partially on his driveway. He didn't bother waving as they roared back out of his driveway. The cold feeling in his stomach faded, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

"What a couple of fucking weirdos," he muttered, staring at the paper in his hands. He opened the file, revealing a set of legal documents and a monetary offer that was entirely too large. Mike couldn't help but notice that the offer they had supplied him pertained to the contents of the house as well.

"Okay, gotcha." Mike closed the folder and walked inside the house. Naia had made it very clear that there were people who wanted the home for its inhabitants (however many of them there were), and the odd behavior of Elizabeth and Sarah now made perfect sense.

Well, almost. Obviously, Sarah was hoping to get a peek at one of the inhabitants, and her behavior had been anything but normal. Elizabeth acted pleasant enough, but he had recognized the mask she wore all too well. His own mother had donned it every time they needed a new place to sleep for the night, every time she needed to bargain just another week on the couch. This was a woman who was used to getting her way, and Mike wasn't playing along.

He sat at his computer, pulling up the website for the Historical Preservation Society. There were several members, and a little digging revealed that Elizabeth and Sarah were indeed high ranking members. He frowned, staring at their smiling faces. Looking again at the folder, he tossed it in the trash. If those two knew there was more to the house than he was letting on, he needed to figure out how to divert their attention elsewhere.

That could wait, however. He walked back out front, hoping to strike up another conversation with Cecilia, but the banshee didn't appear. Grabbing his toolbox, he wandered back through the house and out into the garden. The fountain was flowing freely now, and several small birds were bathing in the upper basin. Naia, floating in the water, had one hand in the air with two small finches chirping happily to her on her fingertips.

"What are they saying?" Mike asked, setting down the toolbox. He couldn't help but notice that Naia's fountain was clean, but the surrounding area had been covered in dirt and muck from her blowing out the lines and overflowing the fountain yesterday.

"They're telling me about the visitors you had," Naia said, giving her hand a flick. The birds took flight, landing in the basin to join their brethren. "You felt sick around them, yes?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"That touch of precognition I told you about. Those women were trouble, and I could sense your apprehension." Naia sat up, the water pushing her into a seated position. "What did they want?"

"They want to buy the place. I think they know something is up, because one of them kept trying to peek in the windows."

"She wouldn't have seen anything if she had. Unless you invite someone in, the Gaes protects us from outside observation. Tink could stand naked in the doorway of the house, and it would appear empty to them."

"Spooky." Mike sat on the edge of the fountain. "Yeah, when they wanted to come inside, I felt super uncomfortable."

"That's from the magic. Listen to it always."

Mike nodded. "Don't worry, I will. Oh, I talked with Cecilia. She didn't shriek at me this time, and we chatted a bit. That was kind of cool, not having the shit scared out of me."

Naia nodded. "Emily always told me that Cecilia was very kind."

"Yeah, well, it was nice to talk to her. Are all the monsters here like that? Are you all friendly?"

Naia shrugged. "I want to say yes, but I can't say for certain. It would make sense that we all respond well to be taken care of-this was meant to be our haven, our stronghold. Gone are the days when monsters roamed the world freely. For many of us, that's a good thing though. Several of us treated mankind as a food source, or our playthings."

"Well, humans do the same thing to each other, actually." Mike scowled at the water.

"Like your mother?" Naia asked.

Mike nodded. "In the worst way. I spent years thinking that she would one day love me back, accept me, show me kindness. I'm glad she's dead, but that makes me feel bad, so it's a cycle that can't really be broken. I'll never get that closure, so..." Mike shrugged. "It is what it is."

Naia sat next to Mike, running her hands down his arms. "I can think of a way to take your mind off of it," she suggested.

Mike laughed. "That sounds like an amazing offer, but if I'm going to take care of this place, I actually need to do some stuff first." He pointed at the mud and dirt surrounding the fountain. "This is just gross, by the way."

"Trust me, I know. Having all of that stuck in the lines of my spring was like a sinus infection. Blowing it free was so refreshing."

"Do nymphs get sinus infections?" Mike asked.

"No, but I'm inside your head. I know what one would feel like, lover." She kissed his neck. "By the gate, there is a drain located beneath the bushes that leads out to the street. If you get a push broom, I'll flood the place again, and you can try and push it all over there."

"That's a pretty good idea, actually." Mike checked the garage, finding what he needed almost right away. Tink may have squirreled away most of the tools, but the bigger things were all grouped together in their holder. Pulling down the large broom, he stepped back into the garden. Naia was doing her best impression of a leaf, floating in circles as the birds took turns landing on her fingers and chirping at her.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Not quite." The statue tucked near the door had caught his attention again. "What do you know about this?"

"Not much. It's buried in creeper vines." Naia stood on the edge of the fountain. "It seems familiar though."

"Yeah. I bought some clippers." Mike pulled them from the toolbox. "I've always had a fascination with statues. When I was a kid, there was a park with a bunch of sculptures, surrounded by a lake. I would go out onto this little island that you got to by a footbridge, and sit beneath the statues there." Mike examined the vines, cutting them near the base of the statue and then unwinding them. "We would move all the time, so whenever we were close enough to the park, I would stop by and just sit with them for a while. There was one set of statues, three figures standing and a space between them as if a fourth one was missing. Sometimes, I would stand in that empty spot, willing myself to turn to stone for a hundred years and see where mankind ends up."

Mike worked quickly, cutting the vines free and peeling them off. It was almost half an hour before he had freed the statue from its leafy prison. It was a woman, head bowed and eyes closed. Her lower face and entire body was covered in a robe that clung tightly enough to her figure that he could run his hands across her breasts, the only indicator that she was a woman.

"Well?" Naia asked.

"Um, it's a statue." Mike moved away so she could see it. "She's pretty, but whoever carved her didn't feel like fucking around with details. Still, at least she's freed from all this crap." He tossed the vines into a pile. "What kind of plant is this anyway?"

Mike held the free end of one of the vines he had cut, scrutinizing the tiny leaves growing off of it. The garden was full of random shrubs and mostly dead flowerpots, and they didn't match the vine he held. Strangely, the vine didn't seem to come from any of the shrubs either. Instead, it had wound its way around several of them to grow along the statue's surface. He gave the vine a tug, trying to follow it back to where it came from.

The garden extended along the back of the house. The vines were pressed up against the house too, hidden behind the bushes growing along the outer wall. Walking farther, he stared up along the house's sides. He was fairly certain he was looking at the master bedroom window.

The yard opened up, revealing a large grassy area. Vines were sprawled everywhere, pressing against the concrete wall that bordered the property and running up the side of the house. They all came from a greenhouse positioned in the corner of the property, three of its panels shattered out and allowing the vines through.

"Ah geez." Mike shook his head. How the fuck had he missed seeing a giant greenhouse? The tour Beth had given him on the first day hadn't been comprehensive by any means, but he figured even just a cursory glance out the window would have revealed this mess. The greenhouse was roughly the size of the garage, and each of the intact glass panels were smeared in dirt from the inside.

No time like the present. MIke approached the door, the earth smells from inside making his nose wrinkle. The greenhouse door had a large, silver lever. He gave it a twist, frowning when it wouldn't budge. Rattling the door, he was frustrated when it wouldn't budge. Crouching for a better look, he saw that a key was needed.

"Of course," he muttered. He contemplated the creeper vines, wondering if he should chop them up or stuff them back in the greenhouse. On the one hand, chopping them up would be easy. On the other hand, he could kill the plant, and the thought of simply slicing up the vines gave him that weird feeling again in his gut.

One of the vines twitched, flexing like a snake awakening from its nap.

"Oh fuck!" The bundle of vines spasmed, recoiling enough that they spread across the lawn. Mike sprinted across the lawn toward the house, giving the vines a wide berth. Coming to the narrow gap between the wall and the house, he saw that the vines were withdrawing, spreading out and coiling around everything they touched. He hopscotched his way through them, timing his jumps to avoid touching them. The fountain came into sight, and Naia stood at its edge, her face a mask of concern.

"What's going on?" she asked, her eyes on the retracting vines near the fountain. Her eyes met his just as the vines sprung up, a pair of them catching his legs.

"Shit!" Mike pulled the shears from his back pocket, cutting at the vines that had ensnared him. Slicing himself free, more vines whipped around him, closing in and knocking the shears free from his grasp. He made it to the edge of the fountain just as his feet were pulled from underneath. Naia grabbed onto his wrists, trying to pull him into the water. Fingertips clutching the fountain, more of the creeper vines found him, spiraling up his legs and waist.

"Mike!" Naia cried, his grip loosening on the fountain's edge. She held tightly to his arms, but the vines were simply too powerful. Yanked free of Naia's grasp, he was pulled across the yard, his fingers scraping at flagstones and dirt. Twisting on his back, he saw the greenhouse looming closer, hungry vines twisting in anticipation.

"Help!" Mike screamed, grabbing the vines with his hands. They spiraled around his arms, pinning him in place. He was yanked through the windows of the greenhouse, the busted panes cutting his arms. "Fuck!"

The foliage obscured his vision, and then suddenly, the space opened up. Opening his mouth to scream, it lodged in his throat when he realized that he was not so much inside the greenhouse, but somewhere else entirely. A brilliant, dark blue sky was above him, and the walls of the greenhouse terminated, revealing an entire jungle in every direction. Leaning forward, he saw that the vines were pulling him toward a rocky ledge.

This was it. His brain had finally blown its last fuse. Was he even really here? Was he in bed? Was he in a mental institute, the weird guy who jerked off while pretending to fuck goblins and nymphs?

The world filled with the sounds of shattering glass, and Mike heard something heavy hit the ground behind him. Crunching footsteps approached quickly, and the light above vanished behind a dark figure. The edge of the cliff loomed closer, the creature above him frantically swiping at vines with razor sharp talons. Vines whipped up at his savior, who didn't even flinch as they struck skin.

Mike's arms were suddenly free, and he grabbed the figures ankle tightly. He was surprised to fill the cool, rough texture of stone beneath his skin, but couldn't care less. Right now, the person above him was winning.

"Cut the ones down by my feet," he said, pulling at the figure with both hands. More vines were whipping over the edge, grabbing at them both. "There are more coming up."

One foot was free, and then suddenly, the other. Yanked to his feet, they tried to run from the ledge of the cliff, but the creeper vines had created a wall of branches behind them, cutting off their escape.

"Merde!" His savior swore, wrapping stony, feminine arms around him. He was lifted easily from the ground, and she jumped off the cliff, clutching him tightly. Wings, nearly twenty feet across, caught the air as they soared into the impossible sky. Mike gazed at the jungle below, easily miles across in every direction.

"What is this place?" He shouted into the wind. His savior was struggling to climb into the sky, so they soared along the edge of the cliff toward a massive waterfall. Several rocky ledges traversed the falls like giant steps, and they landed quietly on one of them about halfway down.

"It is the greenhouse." Her voice carried a thick French accent. She released him, and he stepped back from her. Her giant wings wrapped gently around her stone body, her talons retracting into her hands. Her wings became a cloak, covering her naked skin. Her face was feminine, save for the wide set nose flattened against her face, her eyes dark like obsidian. Short, jet black hair was pulled back behind her slightly pointed ears. With her cloak back in place, Mike recognized the statue he had cleaned off.

"Not the kind I am used to," he said, pointing at the jungle. "This place is absolutely impossible."

"Not impossible. Improbable." She crossed her arms. "And now, I must ask who you are and why you are here."

"I'm Mike. I inherited this place from my Great Aunt Emily." Mike took a seat, the adrenaline finally wearing off. "I've only been here a couple of days."

"You are the new guardian? I see. That explains so much." She looked across the cliffs at where the vines were hungrily whipping around, trying to find their prey. "That is the Mandragora. It must be pretty hungry to have broken out of the greenhouse. You will need to feed it soon."

Oh god. "What the hell does it eat?"

"Meat, mostly. It also enjoys wine and cheese."

"How does a plant... you know what? It doesn't matter. Thank you for saving me."

"You are welcome." She bowed her head at him. "My name is Abella. It is my job to protect the grounds of the house. When Emily died, I fell into a deep sleep, and apologize for not greeting you sooner."

"You were all wrapped up in the Mandragora vines," Mike said.

Abella frowned at him. "That explains why I did not awaken at your arrival. The Mandragora was draining me of my life essence. This is not good. It means I have been asleep for far longer than I thought."

"I thought the plant ate meat?"

"What better way to absorb life essence? The Mandragora could not eat me nor move me, so it fed on my energy through my skin."

"What are you, exactly?" Mike's legs were suddenly numb. He rubbed them, his muscles tingling beneath his fingers.

"My kind have many names, but your kind would know me as a gargoyle," Abella replied.

"Doesn't water have to run out of your mouth or something?" Mike asked.

"If you sever my head and mount it to a building, yes." Abella frowned. "Anyway, I-" Abella's legs suddenly collapsed beneath her, and she fell to the ground, panting for air.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked.

"No, I am not." Abella crawled over by Mike, laying down on the rock beside him. "How long ago did Emily die?"

"A couple of years, actually."

"I told her that she needed to have a successor ready. The Mandragora has taken too much of my life force. I must rest for some time before I can get us out of here."

"That's ok. I'm just happy to be alive." Mike moved closer to Abella, his legs tingling beneath him. "Can I do anything for you?"

Abella remained silent, her eyes closed. Now that she was by his side, he realized that she was only about five feet tall. Her feet were large, three giant toes with talons on them, and she had a thick, muscular tail that was hidden beneath her wings. Mike held tightly to her, feeling the slow rhythm of her breathing beneath his arms.

-

Mike had only closed his eyes for a few seconds, or so he thought. The sky above them was growing black, distant storm clouds building giant thunderheads in the distance. Sitting up, he was delighted to discover that his limbs were no longer tingling, that full of sand finally gone.

"Mike?" Abella's voice was no louder than a whisper.

"Yeah, I'm up. Didn't think I would sleep for that long." He stood up and stretched. "Ow, shit, I'm sore. How are you feeling?"

"Not good." Abella rolled to a sitting position. "I don't like the look of that storm, either."

"It can't be that-" A flash of light blinded him. Several seconds later, the thunder that chased it boomed against the cliff. "...bad." Mike finished.

"My kind is made to weather storms. Yours is not."

"I guess I could just climb out of here." Mike stared at the sheer walls above him. "After someone installs a ladder."

"I do have an idea, but you will not like it." Abella was staring at her feet.

"I'm pretty open to living. What do you have in mind?"

"I am a being of stone. It will take me some time to recover. You, however, have already recovered. Humans are fountains of life, its why they make such a good food source."

"You're not selling me on your solution so far," Mike muttered.

"If you were to... give me some of your essence, I would have enough energy to fly us out of here." Abella's fingers were pressing down on wrinkles in her wings, watching the folds pop back up.

"That doesn't sound so bad. Are we talking magic, a blood pact, what?" Please don't let it be a blood pact, Mike thought to himself.

"It's kind of like magic. Old magic." Abella looked away from him. "You could give me your essence like... like a human man would give to..."

"Are you talking about sex?" Mike was surprised to see Abella shrink in on herself. She nodded, her eyes on the distance.

"My kind and your kind have a hatred for each other, but I want you to know that I am different. It is why I was saved, and brought here to protect this house. And while I am sure you would rather be with a hundred different human women before you would consider a hideous creature like me, I think... I think it would work."

Mike gazed at the shy creature in wonder, finding himself once more in a predicament. With Tink, it had been about protecting her from the unknown, a risk he had taken for the greater good. Now, however, it was about his own salvation. Abella had a muscular, almost reptilian build to her. "You would do that for me?" He asked.

"It is my duty," Abella said, her voice a whisper.

"It may be your duty, but I don't believe in making others do what they don't want to do. I would rather risk the lightning than feel like a bag of shit every time I look in the mirror."