I'm Not Dieting

I'm not dieting.

This fact actually has the nerve to make people angry. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because I can sit in the cafeteria and satisfactorily eat my chocolate cake while they whine to themselves about their size and lack of self-confidence and their latest fad diet of the month. What is it today? Colon cleansing? Grapefruit? Pomegranate? Oh, wait, now you're not allowed to eat fruit because of the sugar content and your diet must consist solely of non-red meats and salad?

They get mad at me. "You ought to be more healthy!" they chirp and pick at their salad and weep because they caved in and ate half a chocolate or put a sugar in their coffee.

But these people are doing it to themselves for their self-confidence, their self-worth, their perception of beauty. Not their health. That's why I'm not dieting.

The reality is, I don't need a fad to feel confident in my own skin. I hate sitting beside coworkers nearly half my size who talk about their fat ass and massive thighs when all they need to do is take a look at themselves through someone else's eyes. It's not their fat that makes them unattractive, it's their whining and complaining. I'm not dieting, because I don't need a diet to be comfortable with myself. I'm not dieting, because the reality is, to be healthy, all you need is to eat the right foods and get the right amount of exercise and your body will make sure you're the size you need to be.

Weight shouldn't be the judge of how healthy someone is, it's whether or not they're running to the doctor for medical ailments. Is it healthy to starve yourself and eat nothing but salad and yogurt? I'm sure it is, but is it healthy to your confidence to stare at yourself and see nothing but a massive, fat-assed monster? Is it healthy to deprive yourself of everything you love to eat in the name of "I'm so fucking huge, I'm a pig, I have to stop doing it to myself."

And why? Because the women in magazines look that way? Airbrushed models aren't an example of real beauty. Why? Because "that's what men are attracted to"? Most men I know like a few curves, and don't get me started on lesbians.

Sure, some people would leap for a chance to bang a bag of bones with skin attached. Sure, some people would blob themselves forth from their chair to bang a bag of skin with bones compressed.

The reality is, you can't make yourself appealing to everyone. The reality is, you're only responsible for yourself and what you think of yourself. And perception is a big part of the solution to the problem.

If you're confident, people see confidence. If you're pleased with yourself, people see that glow as you relate your stories—not the way your arms slightly jiggle.

This isn't a speech on how inner beauty shines. It's the reality that inner beauty shines, and you don't need to diet to find it.

So I'm not dieting. Some people are mad at me for this. They think I should force myself to eat types of food I don't like (hello, sandwiches and salads. I hate you very much) in the name of "how other people perceive you". But there's more than one way to eat your veggies and there's more than one way to be self-confident.

If you take away other people from the equation, it's just you and what you need for yourself. When it's no longer about how other people see you and no longer about the mirror, maybe your confidence will come from being a bang-up writer, or an awesome gardener, or really damn good at interior decorating.

This isn't a speech about how you shouldn't be healthy. Dieting isn't healthy. It's never healthy to eat just one food group or to eat minuscule amounts of food in order to rapidly lose weight. There's nothing wrong with wanting to change your exterior appearance for the better and there's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight.

Lifestyle changes are always healthy, and one of those changes should be in your mind, to learn to love yourself.

I'm not dieting, because I'm confident that the outside of me reflects the inner me, and it has nothing to do with how much I weight or any idealistic image of the perfect body. I call it my idiot radar. Why would I want to be friends with someone who didn't love me for all of me, healthy changes and all?