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In His Arms Instead

copyright August, 2010

Just a quick little ditty that will hopefully grab your interest.

As usual there are no graphic sex scenes in my work.

Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully constructively comment on this latest piece. Please enjoy.

*****************

Alyssa was dancing with another man. The love of my live was dancing with, hugging, and kissing another man. She responded eagerly to his romantic overtures; in fact Alyssa instigated some of the kisses and hugs. Watching Alyssa and her new man I knew it signaled the end of my way of life. Everything would change now but the most important change, the one that would be hardest to take, was that after tonight I would be alone.

*****************

Susan, my wife of four years left me. No good bye, she just left me all alone. For that whole day after she left and that night my emotions ran the gamut from hurt to sadness to depression and finally to anger. I was angry with everything and everyone, especially God. How could a benevolent, loving God allow this to happen to me, to us?

I met Alyssa for the first time the day after Susan left; it was love at first sight. She took my hand and I looked into her bright blue eyes and I was hers from that moment on. That meeting destroyed my depression, eased my hurt, and in large part erased my anger. Only the sadness remained but it was a shadow of what it had been; with Alyssa front and center I had no time to be sad.

******************

For close to twenty years, we spent almost every day and night together. The evenings that she went out with friends were hard on me. I would pace back and forth like a lion in a cage until she came home. As I heard her at the front door I would sit in my big overstuffed chair and pretend I was interested in the newspaper or a book. Alyssa would tell me about her exciting evening, kiss me goodnight, and go to bed.

The few weekend or sometimes week long trips that she went on were the worst. I constantly worried about where she was, what she was doing, and with whom. Alyssa's almost nightly phone calls while she was on these trips were welcomed but they just reminded me that she wasn't at home. It's a good thing that these trips were few and far between; I don't know if I could have taken many more of them. I never let her see how her being gone affected me.

During our time together I taught her many things and even learned some from her. I introduced her to the great outdoors. Fishing became a favorite of Alyssa's; I still laugh when I think of her first attempts to cast a baited line with her fishing pole. The picture of her with the line wrapped around her like a shawl was priceless. I didn't let her see me laugh but it was the funniest and cutest thing I'd ever seen.

I took her with me one weekend when I rode my dirt bike in an Enduro race. She fell in love with dirt bikes and learned to share my love of the sport. I bought her three different bikes as her skills improved. Alyssa also likes to go camping. In the evenings we would sit around a campfire eating s'mores and talk about the birds and animals we had seen on our hikes.

******************

My idyllic life began to change a little over a year ago. Alyssa's one or two nights a week out with her friends turned into two or three nights a week with just one of her friends; Justin Reynolds. She always came home at a reasonable hour except for one or two times; special occasions she called them.

Once again I paced and thought and worried until she came home. On those 'special nights' she always told me what time she expected to be home and not to wait up. Like that was going to happen. About an hour before she was due home, I would turn out the lights downstairs and sit in the dark at the top of the stairs until I heard Alyssa saying good night to Justin and would quickly adjourn to the bedroom.

I could have told her not to go; I know she would have honored my request. But if I did that Alyssa would have began to resent me and maybe love me less. I couldn't take a chance on losing her so I didn't say anything and sort of suffered in silence. The only hope I had was to let her interest in Justin wither and fade.

Instead of fading her interest grew and intensified. I finally realized that I had lost her. It was just a matter of time before she left me.

********************

So now I watch as Justin and my love, my life, dance; so absorbed in each other that the rest of the world doesn't exist to them. It's just the two of them with no room for anyone else.

Alyssa smiled at him and then looked around. As the song ends she walks over to me and takes my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor.

"Daddy, where have you been? Come dance with me," she says as the band begins to play again. "Thank you for my wedding Daddy; it's so perfect."

I had to smile at my angel, at her happiness, which is all I've ever wanted. "You're welcome Ally. I just wish your mother could have been here to see what a special and beautiful bride you are." My tears blurred my vision for a few seconds.

"Oh Daddy. Momma would be proud of you for the way you've taken care of me after she passed away." I really wish I could have known her.

We both took a minute to let the memories flow over us. I smiled and said, "I hope Justin knows what a treasure he has in you."

Alyssa giggled; somehow it was charming instead of irritating for this 20 year old woman to giggle. "He told me about the talk he had with you when he asked to marry me. I think you scared him Daddy."

"That wasn't my intention Ally. I simply told him to always be honest with you. I told him that you two should talk about things instead of letting them build up until they burst. It was just good advice that I gave him," I replied. "It worked for your mother and me. Besides I was just kidding about kneecapping him if he ever physically hurt you."

She leaned up and kissed my cheek and said, "I know, I hope we can have as good a marriage as you and Momma did." Alyssa hesitated and then said, "I've got a favor to ask Daddy."

I looked at her and smiled; speculating on what more she wanted of me. "Okay, Kitten. What do you need?"

"Well....Justin's Aunt Molly is here by herself, well not by herself but she doesn't have a date. She came with Justin's parents. You know she's a widow don't you? Her husband died in a car wreck early last year." Before I could admit my ignorance Alyssa continued, "Molly hasn't danced all night and I thought it would be a nice thing for you to ask her. I mean you're by yourself too; maybe you could entertain each other."

"Match making are you little one?"

"No Daddy," Alyssa giggled again and added, "Well maybe a little. But I thought you might do something besides standing around like an old sour puss. Please Daddy, for me?"

"I never could turn you down, could I? Where is this lonely widow?"

"She's at the table with Justin's parents. See," she said pointing with her chin. "Molly's the lady in the blue dress. You know I think she's about your age."

I turned Alyssa as we danced so I could see Aunt Molly without staring. At 45, I'm 20 years older than Alyssa. If Molly was my age, she was extremely well preserved. She can't be more than 35 or so, I thought. For the first time that evening I forgot about losing Alyssa for a little while. Maybe I should ask Molly to dance, I thought; you know just to be polite.

Justine reclaimed his prize at the end of the dance. Alyssa smiled kissed my cheek and went back to her new husband. I slowly worked my way over to where Molly was sitting; I didn't want to be too obvious.

"Hello. I'm Brad Thomas, father of the bride," I introduced myself. "You must be Aunt Molly."

Molly chuckled, put out her hand and replied, "I guess I am. I'm Molly Jackson."

"Would you like to dance Mrs. Jackson?"

"Only if you call me Molly." I nodded and led her to the dance floor.

"I guess I owe Alyssa or Justin for you rescuing me from being a wall flower," Molly said smiling.

"Not at all. Alyssa reminded me that I'm the host of this shindig and that I should mingle with the guests. I'm glad she did."

We danced a couple of more times and then it was time to throw the bouquet and garter. A boy of about 17 caught the garter and left the floor with a big smile; the envy of all his friends.

I don't know how she did it but Alyssa made sure the bouquet landed in Molly's hands. Neat trick, I mean an over the back no look pass right on target.

A little later it was time for Alyssa and Justin to leave and begin married life together. Justin shook my hand and Alyssa hugged me tightly. "Thank you Daddy. Thank you for the wedding but mostly thank you for taking care of me and being my Daddy."

As they left I was searching for something to wipe the tears out of my eyes. I must have gotten something in them. Molly handed me her handkerchief. I turned to hand the now damp handkerchief back to her and she took my arm.

We stood and watched the kids leave. Molly held onto my arm with one hand and had a death grip on the bridal bouquet with the other.

Who knows, maybe the Englishman is right; Life goes on.

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