Leaving the Navy Ch. 06

Della linked all the family computers so we could all have the family calendar on our screens as the default setting. The first notice she posted was an alert that on Friday night we would be having a family dinner. She and Krystn would be cooking, Sandra and Jim were in charge of setting the table, getting chairs for everyone, and having everything ready by six. Margie and Pat would be doing clean-up and my job was to get all the kids cleaned up both before dinner and after. The last line of her alert notice said, "If you have questions about why we are having a family dinner, DON'T ASK!"

Della and Krystn made almond crusted halibut, smashed potatoes, broccoli and had a white cake for dessert. When they brought out the cake Pat blushed and Della said, "Pat has an announcement."

She put the cake in front of Pat. Mark said, "It's Momma Pat's birthday!"

"Nope." Pat said, "Two days ago I did a test and I passed! Momma Pat is going to have a baby!"

"I hope he's a boy!" Mark said.

Pat got hugs, kisses and more than one pat on her belly. Pat cut the cake and everyone enjoyed it. I asked, "When are we going to tell Grandma Beth?" Pat suddenly stopped and looked at me.

"That could be a problem. Momma is a churchy woman. I'm not married."

Jim smiled and said, "If she's a churchy woman we could tell her it was spontaneous combustion. It's a story that worked for Mary."

"Spontaneous combustion?" Della asked.

"That's when a fire starts without a spark or a flame, it just starts." Krystn added.

Sandra chimed in, "Sort of like when you rub two people together and something starts besides fun." She was smiling a mischievous smile. Pat and I both blushed.

"You know, everyone in town knows I'm married to the sisters. It won't be long until they figure out that Jim is not the father. It won't be long until the town knows Pat is pregnant. We need to tell them something."

"Men!" Margie said. "If Pat had just kept loving us this wouldn't have happened. It's all Nick's fault that we have a dilemma. Men are the chief cause of pregnancy!"

"I seem to recall it needing two people to start this fire."

Jim jumped in, "I heard it's the woman's fault. The man was just poking fun and she took him serious." The adults all laughed and the kids looked confused.

"Ok, munchkins. Into the big bathroom and strip. Dinner is over and you're having baths. Put your clothes in the hamper. I'll come in and start the water." They didn't move. "Now!"

In less than a minute they were all in the bathroom. I followed them in and ran a shower for them.

"Daddy, are you going to scrub us?" Sam asked.

"Is that a request?"

"We can all get in together. You can scrub us and we'll scrub you. There is a place for you to sit down."

The shower took almost half an hour. I scrubbed each of them, supervised the scrubbing of some of their parts, and let them scrub me. We got everyone shampooed and then I got out. I told them they could stay in and play for as long as they wanted.

When I left the bathroom I walked to the hot water heater and gave the valve a turn. The temperature of the water got a little cooler. I got dressed and gave it another turn. Now it would be cold. Margie saw me turning the valve and smiled. She approved of sneaky.

The kids shut off the water, got out and dried each other. They wrapped in towels and ran to their bedrooms to get into pajamas. I readjusted the valve on the hot water heater.

I found Pat in the living room with the cordless phone in her lap. She was thinking about calling her Momma. I sat next to her. I didn't speak. She looked at me and then back at the phone.

A few minutes passed in silence and Mark came to find me. He looked at Pat and then at me. "Is Momma Pat sad?"

"I don't think so."

"Grandma Beth wants a baby to love too."

"God, I hope you're right." Pat said. She dialed her Momma's number in Atlanta. I held her hand as she put the phone to her ear. Mark climbed up next to her and put his hand on her thigh.

"Momma?"

"So, are you pregnant yet?"

"What?"

"I knew when I was in your new house that Nick sleeps with all of you. He says and the sisters all say he's married to Sandra, but I have eyes. He's crazy thinking he can be married to four of you! But, I have to admit, you seem happy."

"Momma..."

"I'm fine. How many periods have you missed?"

"One. I took one of those home pregnancy tests and it says I'm pregnant."

"Then, you are. Congratulations! Does he sleep with a different wife each night?"

"He has to. Only wives have beds. Nick doesn't have his own bed."

"Think he'd be interested in an old woman?"

"Momma!"

"Don't be scandalized! I was just kidding. I may not be telling my friends everything I know about your family, but I know God wants all of us to be happy and you're certainly happier now than you were married to Carl."

"Yes, Momma. I'm very happy."

Mark whispered to Pat, "Can I say hello to Grandma Beth?"

She handed him the phone and he told her how excited he was that Momma Pat was gonna have a baby. He promised her that he would help take care of the baby, even if it was a girl." He handed the phone back to Pat and ran off.

Pat and her Momma said good-bye and hung up.

"She's Ok."

"I heard."

"I was worried and she already knew. All that worry, for nothing."

We went up to her bedroom and I slept spooned against her. Spooning may have been invented as therapy for a mending collarbone. As soon as I draped my arm over any of my wives I was comfortable and fell asleep.