Letters to Home

End of Term was rapidly approaching when I wrote my first letter home:

Hi Mom,

College is fine, I got an A for my English term paper and my Professor says that I'm one of his best students. He has even offered me extra tuition if I need it.

My room-mate and I get along great and she's asked if I want to go with her when she goes home for term break but I told her that I miss home too much and maybe next time I'll join her, or she can come home with me, if that's all right with you.

There are no boys in my life, not that there haven't been any opportunities in that area, I just don't want anything detracting me from my studies. I want you and Pop to be proud of me when I graduate.

Love you heaps,

Sarah.

I knew that was what they wanted to hear but it was a long way from the truth. I felt bad about the deception but how could I tell them their daughter, the one that they had such high hopes for, had let them down badly.

My next letter, written on the same day, was to my sister Stephanie, she's a couple of years older than me and graduated last year. She hasn't found a job yet, so she's staying with Mom and Pop to keep her expenses down until she finds one.

Hi Sis,

Can you keep a secret? College sucks and I've dropped out. My English Lit professor, S. Jonathon, you can call me Jonathon in private but in public it's Professor, Mellor, hit on me and told me that I could be the best student in the world but, unless I went to bed with him I wouldn't get a passing grade, so what is the point of staying. Jenny, my room-mate, has this part-time job in a bar and she put in a good word for me and I've got a job. It's not the best job but it pays okay and the tips are great. This is where the secret gets really important, it's a topless bar. I know what you're thinking, how could I degrade myself in this way, but it's not that bad, the girls look after each other and if there's some sleaze there we warn each other so that we don't have any problem. Usually a quiet word with Andy behind the bar has it sorted quickly.

All I get to wear is this tiny red satin thong so I have to shave regularly, we aren't allowed to show any hair or tan lines so the tanning salon gets a workout. I've gotten used to dodging groping hands and declining the opportunity to enjoy the best fuck I'll ever have while they stuff bills under the thong. Last night I got over a hundred dollars in tips, more than any of the other girls including Jenny.

Please don't tell Mom or Pop what I'm doing, please.

Stay cool,

Sarah.

I got a reply from Mom telling me how proud she and Pop were that I was doing so well. The letter from Stephanie came as something of a surprise:

Hi Sarah,

Good for you getting out of college and into the real world. You don't realize how much truth is in that joke about what does a college graduate say in her first job? "Would you like fries with that?" Getting out and seeing the real world while you are young gives you a better perspective on life and your future career than career counselors will ever tell you. To them it's all about staying in school and getting qualifications that will gain you a higher paying job. To me and my friends that is just so much bullshit, very few kids have any idea what they really want to do at the time that they have to make that decision. Few of them have had sufficient life experience to enable them to make that decision. Get out! See the world and then gain the qualifications that you need for the next phase of your life.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your deep dark secret.

Love you,

Steph.

My next letter was three weeks later and things at work had taken a scary turn. I still liked the job, I got on well with the other girls and Andy behind the bar as well as the customers, I even had regulars that came in a couple of times a week and tipped generously. I know what you're thinking, they are hitting on me, wanting me to go with them, but it's not that, it's my boss.

Hi Sis,

I'm scared. Jerry, he owns Peppers the bar where I work, well he's been looking at me with a strange look on his face and last night he had a bunch of guys in his office and every time I looked in their direction I caught them staring at me. One of the girls warned me, she said that he gets a whole bunch of his mates over and they go upstairs and then he selects one of the girls to join them. Some of those he chooses don't come back after that so they have a good idea what goes on. It's sort of like, play the game or get out if you know what I mean.

I don't know whether I'll go to work tonight.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Sarah.

My next letter wasn't for a week, a week that I remember very little of. One of the nurses fetched me some paper and a pen and has promised to mail it for me.

Hi Sis,

I'm in more trouble than I know what to do with. I'm writing this letter from the hospital and that's why I haven't written for more than a week. One of the nurses got me paper and a pen and she's promised to mail it for me. Don't worry, I'll be fine, the doctors said that I can leave in about a week. I don't know exactly what's wrong because I'm on this drip so I'm not feeling much of anything right now.

I don't know what happened, but I've got a good idea. You know that I said that I was thinking of not going to work? Well I got a phone call telling me that if I wasn't at work in half an hour I was fired. I needed the job so I went. Everything was fine except that Jerry had his mates in his office with him again, and they were watching me, again. It gave me the creeps but nothing happened so I finished up and told Andy that I was going to get changed and go home. Andy and I had our usual chat for a few minutes and he gave me a drink as usual. I had counted out my tips and was just heading for the door to the staff room when Jerry came out. "Sarah, have you got a minute?"

"Sure." I followed him into the office.

"Fellas, this is Sarah, the girl I've been telling you about. She's the best and most popular hostess we have here."

"I can see that." One of the guys said and the others agreed with him.

That's the last I remember until I woke the next morning and was dragged out of a dumpster.

The police were here and asked me what I knew, but I couldn't tell them much. Don't tell Mom or Pop about this, please.

Love you,

Sarah.

As I wrote I was trying to remember what had happened.

I woke up because of the noise of a big truck stopping right next to where I was. I couldn't see anything it was so dark but I could smell something really foul and greasy to touch and I wasn't wearing any clothes, not even the thong. Then I heard something scraping over head and then there was a thin band of light. "Help me!" I yelled as loud as I could and the lid opened and this man looked in.

"Fuck! Wait here lady I'll call the cops." He dropped the lid with a bang and then lifted it up again. "Sorry about that." I heard him speaking to someone over his radio or cell and then he came back. "I have to leave you here until the police get here. They told my boss that they'll be here in five so stay cool, okay?"

"I guess so." I couldn't understand why I couldn't get out now.

I could hear sirens getting closer and then a couple of policemen looked over the edge of the dumpster. Their reaction was the same as the man who found me. "Fuck! You'll have to wait a little longer so that the Paramedics can check you out, then we'll get you to hospital. Can you tell us how you managed to get in here?"

"No. I work at Peppers bar and I'd just finished work and was getting ready to go home and then I woke up here, everything else is missing." I must have gone to sleep or something because the next thing I was being dragged out of the dumpster and lifted onto a gurney and loaded into an ambulance. Then it got all fuzzy. I woke in a hospital bed with tubes hanging out of my arm and wires plugged in everywhere. A nurse came back into the room accompanied by a woman who didn't look like a doctor, I took her for a hard-nosed cop and I was right. "Hi, I'm Detective Giametti, can you tell me your name?"

I had to think about this and it took some effort but out of the haze a name emerged. "Sarah."

"And your surname?"

"Sorry, it's Thomas, Sarah Thomas."

"Where do you live Sarah?"

This really took an effort. "231 Briar, on the 3rd floor, apartment 2."

"Can you tell me where you work?"

"Peppers, Peppers bar, I'm a waitress."

"Isn't that a topless bar?"

"Yes."

"And you are one of those waitresses that wander around with nothing on?"

I had to defend myself. "We wear a thong."

I could see that she couldn't understand why I would want to work in such a place. "You don't have a problem with being mauled by drunken patrons?"

"Not many of them touch us other than when they put tips under the thong and the bar has ways of discouraging any bad behavior."

"Were you friendly with any of the other staff?"

"Yes, there's Jenny, she was my roommate from college, she works there part time and Andy, one of the barmen"

"This Jenny, how can we contact her?"

"If she's not at college she's gone home for term break."

"And where would that be?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. I think that will be all for the time being. I'm told that you'll be here for several more days so if I need to talk to you again I'll be back. In the mean time take care of yourself."

I watched her leave.

The next letter was written the next day.

Hi Sis,

Wow! This is getting really weird! That Detective Giametti came by and asked me again about where I worked and who I knew there. I told her everything I could remember and she looked at me funny. "Sarah, we've been to Peppers bar and they have never heard of you. We spoke to the owner and he let us look at his employment records and your name isn't one of them. We couldn't check with Andy your barman friend, because there was no-one there by that name and they didn't know of anyone by that name. Your friend Jenny was no help either, she told us that you'd dropped out of school and moved somewhere but she didn't know where, although she told us that you and she had discussed getting into the porn industry. She thought you might have moved to Los Angeles to pursue that goal."

I couldn't believe it. Am I going crazy? I don't know what to do, this stay in hospital is going to cost a fortune and I don't have much money saved. I just thought of something, I don't have my purse and it had my ID and credit cards so how can I access my account when I need money? I don't even have clothes to wear when I finally get out of here. What am I going to do?

The good news is that there's this really nice doctor that has been treating me, he drops in for a chat when he's not busy and he's been helping me through this, he's even asked me out on a date when I get out. I guess I've got plenty of time to think about what to do next. Don't worry, I'll get through this.

See ya,

Sarah.

Thinking was really taking its toll on my brain. I tried hard to remember everything that had happened but all I got was a thick mist with occasional glimpses of daylight. For the most part I just lay there drifting in that nowhere land between being asleep and being awake. It took a great deal of mental effort to write the next letter.

Hi Sis,

Looks as if my luck just might have changed for the better. Detective Giametti came in again only this time she was interested in what I could remember. Do you remember me telling you about a doctor that's been nice to me? Well it seems as if he recognized me from Peppers and mentioned it to her. This is the first time that she's been able to place me at the bar so she has spoken to Jenny again. When she explained to her the trouble she would find herself in if she kept lying, she broke down and confessed that she'd been pressured by Jerry to tell the police that I'd never worked there.

The police have gone into their Missing Persons records to see if there were any other disappearances of young girls that could be connected with the bar. There were several, but there had never been enough evidence for any ongoing investigations, let alone a prosecution so nothing was done. If what happened to me had happened to the other girls the chances of finding evidence now was almost impossible.

Grace, that's Detective Giametti, has promised me that she'll do everything that she can to find out what really happened and catch those responsible. I believe her, for a cop she's nice.

I'm feeling better now.

Love you,

Sarah.

I've got another person helping me, Tim dropped by as he was going off duty and told me that he had found out some information that he has passed on to the police. Things were looking up.

Hi Sis,

Tim called by last night and sat with me for at least an hour. Oh, Tim is the doctor I told you about who spoke to Grace about having seen me at Peppers. Anyhow he stopped by and told me that he'd been doing a little snooping himself. He got friendly with one of the girls, Angie and it's not hard to get friendly with her, and she told him that the turnover of girls is a lot more than she remembered from other bars that she worked at. With a little digging she said that the girls seemed to all leave after Jerry invites them into his office to meet his mates. She hadn't thought that there might be more to it but she did mention that she had heard a rumor from a friend that he thought that Jerry might be involved in producing 'Snuff Movies'. If that was the case I was extremely lucky to get out of there.

As he was leaving he kissed me and told me that he didn't do this for just any beautiful and sexy girl. He's nice and there is hope there.

I think what he told me explains a lot, like why my pussy and arse were still sore after they had stopped the pain medication, and why they put me on a drip as soon as I got to hospital. When I asked Grace about it she told me that my tox screen revealed a very high dose of several drugs including crystal meth and Rohipnol, enough to kill a less fit person, as well as evidence of sexual penetration by at least four men. They were waiting to see if there was a DNA match on the Crime Lab database for any of the samples sent to the lab.

The police were trying to collect as many snuff movies as they could get their hands on in the hope that they find some involving Jerry and his mates. She thought that they would most probably be for the export market so they didn't hold out much hope.

When she was leaving she put her hand on my cheek and for a second I thought that she was going to kiss me. I wonder if she is gay.

That's enough for now.

Love you,

Sarah.

Today was a little easier to handle. While I still can't remember anything of what had happened, things were looking decidedly brighter. The police were moving ahead with their investigations and were hopeful of an early arrest. Even my writing looks almost legible.

Hi Sis,

Things are moving along. Grace was here and told me that the police had obtained a search warrant for Jerry's house and office and taken away his computers and they had found literally hundreds of porn videos that they're going to have to troll through to see if there is anything that can be of help in their enquiries. He refused to give them the passwords for his computers so cracking them was going to take time. The geeks were working on it 24/7. As for the videos, there were any number of officers who volunteered for the onerous duty of sifting through them all looking for evidence. This too was going to take time.

She was encouraging, telling me that everything that could be done was being done, and the keep thinking positive thoughts. Now for the scary bit, as she was leaving she kissed me and placed her finger on my lips to tell me that this was our secret.

What am I going to do, both Grace and Tim have shown that their interest in me is personal and I don't know what I'm feeling for either of them. I know that I like Tim, he's a nice man and that's the important thing he has going for him, he's a man. As for Grace, I like her too, but she's a woman and at least ten years older than me. I don't know if I have any lesbian tendencies although I quite enjoyed her kiss. Maybe I'm AC/DC, I don't know. What do you think, have you ever felt this way about a woman?

I have a lot of thinking to do.

Love you,

Sarah.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to get ahead of what is happening, you put all of your hopes on things happening in a certain way and it goes pear-shaped. Here I was thinking that it was clear sailing from here on and this happens.

Hi Sis,

There has been good news and bad news. Grace called by this morning. The good news is that the search of Jerry's office computer has confirmed that I had been employed by Peppers, he apparently had separate records for taxation purposes and they can at least charge him with tax evasion. The bad news was that there was nothing on that computer to link him with any porn, they have still to crack his home computer, and that was taking time. One thing that they did find was that her had been sending files to another computer that turned out to be a lap-top that he carried with him in his car. They have confiscated that and are trying to access the hard drive. They think that his MO has been to transfer files from his office computer to his lap-top and then to a third party, probably some porn web site that specializes in his particular form of deviance, then wiping the records from his main computer. The police now don't believe that they will find any evidence in the DVD's that they confiscated but that hasn't stopped the officers from viewing them.

She has been very encouraging, but she did have some bad news for me that you are probably aware of by now, the police have called on Mom and Pop and told them what has been happening to me. Mom is on her way here and I'm not looking forward to this one bit.

Grace kissed me again as she left. You know, she's not bad looking for a hardened cop. If I was that way inclined, which I'm convinced I'm not, I can see myself really liking her, probably not enough to have sex with her, but.

Wish me luck with Mom.

Love you,

Sarah.

What a relief! Mom didn't do or say anything the way that I had imagined. She so absolutely surprised me that I had difficulty imagining that this was my straight-laced mother that I was talking to.

Hi Sis,

Mom has gone back to her hotel. She has really surprised me, here I was thinking that I was going to have to listen to her rant and rave about me ruining my life by leaving college and working in a topless bar, but no, she was quite calm about the whole thing, except of course for me finding myself in hospital. According to her it was not my fault, I was working in a job that she presumed that I liked, and some evil people decided to take my happiness and innocence away from me for their own evil pleasure. She has told me that if I wanted to I could come home after I've been released from hospital and take all the time that I need to recuperate. How cool is she, I can't believe it.

She told me that she had been having a long conversation with 'that really nice detective Giametti' who, she informs me, has my best interests at heart and is working tirelessly to track down whoever it was that did this to me. I don't think that I'd better tell her just how nice Grace has been, she probably isn't ready for that.

The latest is that the police have managed to crack the password on Jerry's lap-top and have found some damning evidence. The bad news is that they have to sit on it for a while because it is part of an ongoing international inquiry into the porn industry with the emphasis on 'snuff' videos where the victim, usually a young girl like me, is drugged and abused before her body is dumped. I was lucky because I didn't die, and I didn't end up in some landfill. They don't know how many girls might have been dumped, some of them might have been alive when they were buried in rubbish. They are hoping to get as many videos as possible to see if any of the victims match the Missing Persons files.