Lizzy

Lizzy aced every quiz that week and as the final approached on Friday, she studied until the wee hours of the morning. Lizzy wanted nothing less than to ace the final and if she succeeded, she would ace the class as well. She had faithfully adopted Sarah's study methods until they were second nature to her. Although she never felt confident before a test, she was more than ready to take the final.

Then it dawned on Lizzy that Friday might be the last day she would spend with Sarah. Every time she thought about it, tears welled up in her eyes. She tried banishing the thought from her mind but it persisted and lurked around the edges of her consciousness.

Friday morning, Sarah smiled to herself when Lizzy arrived with a long face. It was the same face she used before every quiz and test. Sarah was known for giving a challenging honors math final and she was a little nervous for Lizzy. But, despite the long face, she was confident that Lizzy was prepared. Lizzy had achieved more in 6 weeks than most students did in an entire school year.

Sarah corrected Lizzy's test paper with Lizzy following along using her teaching master.

It was almost noon when she handed the paper back to Lizzy face down. Lizzy had that worried look on her face again. She turned the paper over and gasped, 95%, an "A." She exploded in triumph; hugging Sarah and not letting go. She kissed all over Sarah's face and said,

"Thank you" a thousand times. Never in her wildest dreams did Lizzy think she would ace the course and she owed it all to Sarah. By giving Lizzy the tools to successfully meet the challenges in math and any curriculum for that matter, Sarah had tapped into something that lay dormant inside of her.

Sarah beamed with absolute pride.

"I knew you could do it." Sarah crowed. She had few students who worked with Lizzy's determination and enthusiasm. She was filled with gratitude that someone like her came along and made her job feel more worthwhile. She admired Lizzy. She put her trust in Sarah to guide her on a difficult journey and she accomplished her goal.

Then, Sarah felt the horrible pangs of sadness and loss squeeze in her heart. Lizzy wasn't coming back on Monday or any day thereafter. Her welfare was Sarah's #1 priority. All she had to do was convince Lizzy.

Suddenly, in her hour of victory, Lizzy realized that this was the last day of class and her time with Sarah at an end. Sarah saw Lizzy's expression change and knew what she was feeling. Lizzy's eyes were awash with tears and she wouldn't let go of Sarah. Sarah felt her heart breaking and held on to Lizzy.

"I won't let you go" Lizzy wailed.

Finally, they looked at each other and Sarah had to start lest Lizzy get any ideas about continuing their relationship. In serious and concise tones, she explained the pitfalls and hazards if they kept seeing each other. How it would not work as Sarah could easily lose her job in the event of a scandal. But most of all, Sarah wanted nothing less for Lizzy than to experience life to the fullest. Anything else would be cheating Lizzy out of the best years of her life.

"But I love you." Lizzy sobbed over and over.

"And, I love you." Sarah replied tearfully. "I'll always have your love in my heart" she said in a crying voice.

Lizzy with a look of longing that made Sarah's heart pound, begged her to make love one last time. Sarah's body yearned for Lizzy and they spent hours in Sarah's bedroom quenching their lust.

It was time for their final goodbye and Lizzy kissed Sarah passionately.

"You're going places in life." Sarah soothingly said to Lizzy. "And I'm sad that I can't be there with you." Sarah put her hand over Lizzy's heart. "But, you can always keep me here."

"I'll never forget you Sarah" Lizzy sobbed. "You changed my life." She sobbed as her chest heaved with sorrow. Even though her heart was breaking, Lizzy understood that Sarah unselfishly had Lizzy's best interest at heart. Now more than ever she wanted to go to college. Sarah had helped her open a locked door and she wanted to know what was on the other side. Lizzy hugged Sarah with all her might. She loved Sarah even more for having the courage and conviction to do what was best for her.

Lizzy broke the embrace and as she turned to leave, blew Sarah a kiss. Sarah, with her heart in the depths of despair, watched the retreating figure until it was out of sight. In a lamentably sad voice and barely above a whisper, she said,

"Goodbye my love."

Sarah closed the door and slumped against the back weeping uncontrollably. She was grief stricken by her loss. Lizzy was her first true love and Sarah had to let her go. By far, it was the most difficult decision she ever made but she knew it was the right one. Trying to console herself, she remembered a famous quote. "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". They were empty words to Sarah

Sarah thought a lot about Lizzy as the new school year progressed. She attended all the gymnastics meets but sat far away from the team bench so Lizzy wasn't distracted by her attendance. Lizzy always looked for Sarah and saw her in the stands. Sarah's presence alone made her try that much harder and she had her best year as a gymnast.

Occasionally, they would see each other in the halls and smile. In January, Sarah was asked to write a letter of recommendation for Lizzy's application to State U. and when Lizzy brought the letter to Sarah, she closed her office door and they embraced for a long time with tears streaming down their cheeks.

With commencement only a week away, Sarah was sitting in her office grading math finals with a disgusted look on her face as the scores were lower than she had expected. Bill Cramer popped his head in and asked if she had a few minutes. He told Sarah he just met with Lizzy and her parents for a conference. Lizzy was a student in his honors math class and aced the final. She was accepted to State U. and she was thinking about teaching high school mathematics. She wanted his input about her choice of careers. When he asked her why, she said that Sarah's summer school class had changed her entire perspective about math. Sarah had showed her how determination and hard work were the substitutes for failure. But, she was inspired most by Sarah's caring, compassion and dedication. Sarah was her essay topic for State U's application. She left a copy for him to read and he was moved to tears after he read it.

Tears streamed down Sarah's cheeks and she looked away from Bill and out the window.

"Can you imagine that, until senior year, math was her worst school subject" Bill wondered aloud. Then, he saw Sarah crying. She was really crying, almost sobbing. Bill knew Sarah's "hard ass" reputation with the students was ill deserved. He respected her more than any other teacher at school. Bill put his hand on Sarah's shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and softly said,

"After I read her essay, I was never more proud of my profession." Sarah was sobbing now. He went on.

"What Lizzy wrote about in her essay explains why we are teachers and why we struggle to get kids not only to learn but to love learning." Bill gave her shoulder another light squeeze and left a copy of Lizzy's essay on her desk as he left.

Sarah sat looking at Lizzy's essay, unable to read even the first line without crying. Finally, she stuffed it in her briefcase and read it at home. Nothing in a long, long time had filled her heart to bursting with joy and emotion. She shed buckets of tears as she read the essay over and over.

In her essay, Lizzy named Sarah as her most inspirational teacher and how Sarah had opened a whole new world to Lizzy. A world she thought was beyond her grasp and how Sarah's unwavering dedication and compassion had guided her. How, without Sarah, she might have trod a different path, a path with not so bright a future.

At commencement, Sarah sat with her colleagues in the section reserved for teachers. She heard Lizzy's name announced and watched thru a hot blur of tears as Lizzy accepted her diploma.

As she wiped her tear streaked eyes, Sarah remembered an inspirational quote from her college days. It was written on her "Theories of Education" classroom blackboard by Professor Conwell, who had the reputation as the toughest instructor in the Education Department. He told everyone to write it down and memorize it. And, whenever they felt like quitting or giving up, to go back and read the quote.

"...accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory..." Professor Conwell asked the class if they knew anything about the author. Several students knew by way of a movie based on his life in the military. Sarah wrote down the authors name at the end of the quote, General George S. Patton Jr. Professor Conwell told the class that if they remembered nothing else about his course, except this one quotation, he would be satisfied.

"They are powerful words." Sarah remembered him saying several times. Professor Conwell had inspired Sarah and a few days before graduation she went to thank him. Professor Conwell, a diminutive man in his early 70's, told Sarah he had served under Patton in WWII and that most of the men under Patton's command were afraid of him. But, Patton had the ability to inspire and motivate his troops to accomplish more than they thought was possible. She remembered that he looked straight into her eyes and said,

"That's what every teacher must strive to do." "Never compromise your integrity or lower your standards." "Expect the best from your students and some of them will rise and accept the challenges."

Sarah doubted that she would ever forget what Professor Conwell said that day. She had modeled her career on those words and he was right. Sometimes a student did rise to accept the challenges and Lizzy was proof positive.

With commencement over, Sarah was walking across the stadium field toward the parking lot. She looked up and saw someone walking towards her. It was Lizzy! They hugged each other, not wanting to let go. With teary eyes, Lizzy gazed at Sarah and whispered the words,

"Thank You." "Thank you for everything." Lizzy put her head on Sarah's shoulder for the last time and in a voice cracking with emotion said,

"I'll never forget you Sarah." Lizzy broke the embrace and as she was turning to leave, blew Sarah a kiss. She watched as Lizzy ran towards her friends in her happy go lucky way, smiling and laughing. Sarah's heart was filled with joy but also sadness as Lizzy's silhouette grew smaller and smaller. Sarah thought Shakespeare said it best; "Alas, for parting is such sweet sorrow."

Then, Sarah heard her name and was snapped out of her reverie.

"Mrs. Jamison!" "Mrs. Jamison!" she turned and looked at a pretty face. "Mrs. Jamison, I'm Kendra Jackson." "I'm in your summer school math class and..."