Loss to Love Ch. 07

"Good guess." She said as we walked into the kitchen. Her eyes, darted down to our interlocked hands before coming back up to our faces. "Wow you sure work fast."

"Turns out I wasn't the only one hiding feelings." Nick said, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

"Really?" Carrie said, shooting me a smirk that totally reminded me of Nick. I guess that's where he got it from. "So is this a thing now?"

"I guess so." I said, taking my seat.

"Awesome. Now, maybe to celebrate my son's coming out and getting attached," Carrie winked at me. "I have prepared my famous lasagna."

"Whoa famous. Must be really good." I said.

"Well not to toot my own horn here but it is exquisite." Carrie said. I looked to Nick in amusement.

"She's right." Nick said.

I had no doubt that it was amazing though. The salmon from earlier in the day was already heavenly, and that didn't come with a title. When I took my first bite into the layered pasta in front of me, I went to the moon and back. You know how when you eat something really good, and you just open your mouth and let it sit on your tongue for a couple seconds, letting the taste take over; yeah that's what that lasagna did to me.

"Amazing right?" Carrie said, smiling victoriously. I simply nodded, unable to say another word. Just then, there was a knock on the front door. "Now who could that be?"

Carrie made for the door, but it unlocked before she even reached the kitchen entrance. "Honey, I'm back." I couldn't see the front entrance from where I was sitting but I assumed that that was Patrick.

"Hey, I didn't expect you? I thought you'd be gone till tomorrow evening." Carrie asked. Patrick finally came into view, walking up the Carrie at the kitchen doorway giving her a quick kiss. Patrick was around 5'10", brown hair and green eyes. He had a slight belly, but other than that he looked good for his age.

"Yeah but the deal got sealed, so I got off early."

"Hey Pat." Nick greeted.

"Hey bud, thought I wouldn't be able to catch you while you're here." He said. His eyes stopped on my and confusion graced his features.

"Oh hi sir. I'm Drew. Nick's friend." I said, putting my hand out.

"Hi Drew, but please don't call me sir. Call me Pat." He said, taking my hand and giving a firm handshake. A handshake of a salesman, unsurprising seeing that he was a real estate agent. "So, a friend of Nick's huh."

"Boyfriend actually." Nick corrected.

"Boyfriend? I didn't know you were gay?" Pat asked, looking at Nick.

"Well until this afternoon, no one here knew that either." Nick said, rubbing the back of his neck. Pat laughed, slapping Nick on his back.

"Well good for you then. As long as you're happy. That's all that matters." He said.

I looked at the scene and it looked just like the perfect family. Sure Nick wasn't related to Pat but you could see he respected the man. With everyone around him showing such support, I was happy for Nick. I really was. Coming out wasn't easy and having his family there was going to be such a help for him.

"Who knew I'd feel so good about this." Nick said later that night in bed. I was lying next to him, watching Nick bathe in his happiness.

"Feels good doesn't it. Get it off your chest." I said, resting my arm across his abs.

"I guess I have you to thank."

"Hmm why is that?"

"You made me want to come out. You made me realize how miserable I was. You made me realize how rewarding it was to be your friend. You made me realize how much I didn't want to lose you to another guy." Nick said.

"I think you have to thank Travis for that one." Nick chuckled.

"Yeah well, whatever it is. I'm just glad I've got you Langston."

We fell asleep that night in each other's arms. Nick spooned me from behind, his arms draped across my waist. To say the least, it was the best nights sleep I had gotten in a long while.

We slept in the next morning, and I've got to say, waking up in Nick's arms was a breath of fresh air. I felt safe in his arms. It was noon by the time we got up, or should I say I got up. I never really pegged Nick for a heavy sleeper but a heavy one he was. I swear it took me a good fifteen minutes to get him up. Eventually he gave in when I gave him a quick kiss.

We spent the afternoon strolling along the lake, savoring our last few hours of peace before heading back to Seattle. It was late afternoon when we said our goodbyes to Carrie and Pat, before driving back the way we came. The long drive was fun, as we blasted music and sang along loudly, trying our best to mimic the artistes. Everything from Britney, yes don't judge, to Zedd.

As we finally pulled up to the familiar street of our neighborhood, I knew that it was time to return to our normal lives. The awesome weekend was over and the next day we were back to school. School. That word ignited a thought.

"So what about tomorrow?" I asked.

"What about it?"

"You're not out to the student body. We can't be openly dating if you're not out. So we keep in on the down low for now or what?"

"Hmm didn't think of that. What do you think?" He asked.

"I think we keep it quiet for now. You should tell Tray and Kate first. I mean they deserve to know before everyone else right."

"Yeah I think that's best." He said, stopping in his driveway. "Plus my dad. You'll be there if I need you right?"

"Of course. I'll be here." I said, getting out of the car. I walked to the trunk, opening it to grab my things. Nick came out too, helping me. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." He said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. I looked around, making sure no one was around to see that. "Coast is clear." Nick said, shooting me a smile. I simply laughed and punched him in the arm, turning around and heading for my door.

I walked up my porch, still thinking about the crazy weekend that had just passed. I was on cloud nine. I opened my door, ready to head to my bedroom.

"I need to talk to you." My dad's voice boomed from the living room. It took me by surprise a little, not hearing him speak to me for so long, let alone in a such a loud voice. I dropped my bag at the foot of the stairs, walking to the living room where my dad sat in his recliner, facing the TV, which was turned off at the moment.

"Yeah dad?" I asked.

"You have to stop seeing that boy." He said. My jaw fell at his bluntness. There was no unnecessary chit chat with him, everything was straight to the point.

"What? Why dad?" I said, holding my ground. My dad didn't even look at me when he talk to me, like doing so would taint him.

"You jolly well know why boy. You spent the weekend away with him and suddenly you come back and I see you kissing him." He said. I paled at his words, so Nick wasn't completely right when he said the coast was clear.

"What does it matter to you anyway? You don't even speak to me. I keep pretty much out of your life, and still you want to dictate how I live mine?" I said, quietly at first but my voice started to rise in anger. I couldn't believe him. Yeah sure he put a roof over my head but that's it. I haven't even been relying on him financial wise, using my savings I got from video editing for my daily necessities, and still he wanted to control how I lived my life.

"You live in my house, you live by my rules Drew!" He shouted, getting out of his chair and turning to face me. He stared at me for a good minute, his anger emanating from his person.

"Fine, if that's how you want it? I'll move out." I said, my voice no louder than a whisper. I turned and picked my bag from the floor. I was going to go pack, take whatever I could and find a place to stay the night. I couldn't be in the same house with him anymore. I guess it was about time he kicked me out wasn't it. I had a foot on the bottom step when he spoke.

"No!!!" My dad shouted. "I promised your mom I wouldn't do that." He said, his voice dropping in volume.

"I'm sorry dad, but I can't live like this. I don't even think this is a home anymore. I come home and you don't say anything to me. Mom died, okay? I lost her too, but I knew I had in fact lost both my parents. I knew that the only reason you put up with me was because of mom, and now that she's gone, you don't have to. Just say the word and I'll go, no hard feeling whatsoever. You can forget about the faggot son you had." I said.

"I don't want you gone, I just want things to go back to the way it was, when we were close. With your mom gone we only have each other Drew, and I don't want to see you throw your life away just like that." He said, returning to the living room and dropping into his chair.

"This is more than some boy isn't it? You are asking me to put away a part of myself. Pretend to be straight." I said, walking over and sitting on the sofa next to him.

"You can do it. It doesn't have to be like this." He said, closing his eyes. I shook my head at his ignorance, thinking that I could change.

"No dad, I can't. You never had to go through this so I don't expect you to understand."

"But I did go through it?" He said. I stopped, looking at him confused. What did he mean by that? "I went through it all, and I thought I couldn't change too. Your grandparents were very religious people and I felt so suffocated, just wanting to be who I was." I looked at my dad as his eyes started to water. Seeing my dad emotional kind of made me emotional too and I felt my throat tightening. "Then I met your mother and everything changed.

"I loved your mother, the first girl I ever had feelings for. I finally felt like I could lead a normal life, and I did. We got married, had a kid and everything was smooth sailing." He said, a tear falling down his cheeks. I looked at my dad as I took in his words. He looked so broke and a part of me wanted to agree just to make him happy again, but I knew I couldn't.

"Dad, I didn't know and I'm happy that you were able to find happiness in mom. But that's not me. I mean I don't know, maybe one day I might meet a girl that would make everything change, but as of now, I don't. If you have gone through all this before, shouldn't you be willing to accept this? Wouldn't you have wanted your parents to accept you for who you were?" He remained silent. "I'm sorry dad but I can't go through with that." I said, getting up off the couch and towards the stairs. "If it's any consolation, I'm really glad we had this talk dad. I don't know if you still feel the same, but I still love you. I just hope that you still love me too." I said, grabbing my bag and going to my room.

"I do." He said, just audible enough for me to hear.