Missing

"Kyle? It's Melissa—Kellogg. Please don't hang up. I'm begging you. I know you don't want to talk to me and I can't blame you if you hate me." There was a long pause followed by a burst of emotion and the unmistakable sound of a woman crying. "I'm so very sorry!"

Kyle Redding didn't hate her. He didn't hate anyone. There was no basis for her thinking he did and had she even been willing to listen to his side of the story she'd have realized how wrong she was to have jumped to that kind of conclusion.

He was now calm, balanced, pleasant, and endlessly friendly, but it hadn't always been that way. As a boy, he'd begun playing the violin at three and by five was recognized as a child prodigy. Shortly thereafter, one of the best teachers in America moved to New York City to guide his development and later serve as his manager.

She and his mother drove him relentlessly and by the time he was 16, he was considered the most talented solo player in the country and one of the three best in the world. By 18 he was on tour playing every major city in the world from his home town of New York to London to Beijing to Sydney to Moscow and points in between.

The constant stress of playing and the endless push for perfection took a huge toll on him psychologically, but there was one thing Kyle looked forward to more each day the older he got. He had the hugest of crushes on his teacher; a crush that was fierce but unspoken until his 18th birthday when he finally confessed his feelings indirectly after a third drink. Kyle Redding was far too shy to ever be able to tell her—or anyone else—how he felt and the only reason he did so on that occasion was the alcohol he rarely ever drank.

Although flattered and even tempted, she initially encouraged him to see girls his own age. All he need do is make time to meet them she'd assured him. After all, Kyle Redding was often told he was an extremely handsome young man. As evidence, he was regularly compared to an actor named Matt Bomer, known most notably from a TV show called White Collar. Like Bomer, Kyle was relatively thin, but unlike Bomer, Redding wasn't gay. Both men however, had the most piercing eyes with those sexy, long eyelashes under which prominent cheekbones were clearly visible and a face that was almost perfectly symmetrical. Lastly, there was the equally beautiful smile and gorgeous black hair.

Unfortunately, Kyle had precious little time for anything outside of his world of music. But that didn't stop the endless entourage of young girls and women who adored him from following him and letting it be known they were very available.

In addition to his lack of free time, the other issue was he simply had no interest in in pursuing them. His obsession with a particular much-older woman was total and as relentless as the mounting pressure he lived with every day.

To Kyle, she was beautiful in every way and she became the focus of an obsession that, in the long run, only added to his torment and anguish because she made it very clear she could never be with him—even after she'd seduced him within a month of his heartfelt-but-clumsy confession. She couldn't, she'd explained, not because she didn't love him back, but because she was nearly twice his age and also married. They could 'have fun' from time to time, but she would never leave her husband.

It was this unyielding tension between them that brought it on and when it finally came, it came suddenly, and the breakdown had been complete. Internally, he knew it was coming. He couldn't name what 'it' might be, but he knew his mind was becoming a kind of pressure cooker with no release valve. Both the demands on him and the desires for her were endless. The constant pressure to perform and to do so flawlessly, while only being able to have the woman he loved on her terms caused his mind to stretch like a rubber band so tightly the only possibility was that it would one day snap.

He'd spent six months recovering in a state-of the-art mental facility and didn't play once. The very thought of picking up a violin made him angry, an emotion unfamiliar to him before that.

Adding insult to injury, the love of his life never once came to see him. His mother however, made it a point to visit every day. Along with her constant presence came the subtle hints about getting better quickly in order to get back on tour. Subtly quickly turned into pressure; pressure which nearly led to a second breakdown. Unable to deal with her demands he first asked—and then told—his mother not to come back.

In a quest to declutter his mind he spent another six months out of the country in what was essentially a kind of monastery where he rarely spoke and meditated for hours each day in complete isolation. Between those two 'institutions' he spent a significant portion of the vast amount of money he'd earned, the majority of which had gone to his manager or his mother before he'd turned 18.

He awoke one morning after having had a dream that night in which his violin had somehow seemed to hold and caress him with its strings. To him it was kind of sign he was whole again and finally ready to leave. Mentally, he felt strong. Spiritually, he was content. Emotionally, he was ready to re-enter life.

He made a conscious decision to never tour again, but now believing the violin was still his friend, he knew he would play. And he knew he would teach.

Even though he'd spent a lot of money 'getting his head straight, he could still well afford to buy a modest home and open a small studio and still have a small cushion in reserve. He knew he would need to teach in order to make what little money he had left last as long as possible. By then, his teaching business would hopefully be sufficient to allow him to live in reasonable comfort doing what he enjoyed most but without the pressure to be perfect. Not one who craved or even wanted luxury, that seemed more than adequate to Kyle Redding.

He vowed he would never again go back to New York City where he'd grown up and honed his craft. He craved peace and solitude yet needed a large enough pool of people to find an adequate supply of students to make a decent living. In the end, after narrowing his search to three cities where he felt he could be happy, he chose to live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the weather agreed with him and the cost of living was reasonably low and perhaps most importantly, the pace of life was relatively unhurried.

After working with a realtor on line for a week or so discussing various homes and commercial properties in the city, he flew there and rented a furnished apartment for a six weeks while he was shown a handful of homes he liked that were in his price range. Additionally, she showed him several potential work spaces for a studio. By the end of the week, both places were under contract and thirty days later he was moving in and setting up shop in both just as his short-term lease came to an end.

Business was slow in the beginning, but among those few residents of ABQ (as the city was affectionately called by its residents) who played the violin, his was a household name. That, coupled with a very reasonable rate to learn from the best, helped to grow his business slowly but steadily.

He loved working with anyone who had a desire to play whether young or old, but he especially loved children. They were not only able to learn quickly, they had a sweet innocence about them he found endearing; an innocence he'd never really had and often still yearned for. He wouldn't wish his former life on anyone and rarely thought about it as doing so was fraught with painful memories. What he did wish for was for his students to not only learn to play, but to have a safe place where they could be themselves and grow up happy and confident. He did his level best to make playing the violin enjoyable and never pushed anyone to be more necessary to prod them along.

He'd met Kaylie Kellogg the first week after opening his studio. She'd been one of his first three new students, and at the age of 12 she was exceptionally mature and already beautiful, and Kyle knew she would break a lot of hearts along the way. The source of Kaylie's beauty was obvious. The moment he'd first met this young girl and her mother, the resemblance was striking. Red hair was unusual. Beautiful red hair was even rarer.

Kyle hadn't watched television growing up because it consumed valuable time he could have spent practicing. Now he was making up for lost time and would spend hours binge watching movies or TV series. Part of the reason he'd chosen ABQ was watching every episode of Breaking Bad in two evenings where a chemistry teacher turned-meth maker had lived. The moment he saw Melissa Kellogg, he thought of 'Donna', the exquisitely beautiful redheaded executive assistant to a partner in a law firm on a show called Suits.

Both were naturally beautifully gingers with exquisitely-formed facial features and perfect smiles. Kaylie was a girl, and girls of any age had never held his interest. He could acknowledge their beauty but it went no further. Women however, particularly women in their 30s, were the object of his fascination and Melissa's beauty had charmed and captivated him from the moment he laid eyes on her.

It was still too painful to think back on the brief, heartbreaking affair he'd had at 18, but Kyle couldn't help but think about what it would be like to actually love and be loved in return by a beautiful, older woman. He would soon be 23 and in spite of the continual interest from young women from 18 and up, he'd still not found anyone who made his head spin and his heart hurt until he met Melissa Kellogg. Unfortunately, Kyle was still painfully shy and found it nearly impossible to talk to a beautiful woman. He could be pleasant, friendly, and charming, but the thought of asking someone out made his palms sweat and sent chills down his spine. His throat became dry and he found it hard to speak.

In the two years he was her teacher, his secret love for Kaylie's mother grew but unbeknownst to him, this young girl's 'love' for him was also growing. Kyle wasn't as socially aware as most men his age, and it wouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knew him that he would miss clue after clue. After all, he had no interest in her beyond the violin, and his focus was on her mother, not on her.

The changes in her attitude grew proportionally with the physical changes occurring in her body. At first, it was in the way she smiled at him. Then there were the things she said about how handsome he was or what an amazing teacher she found him to be. Even the way she dressed slowly changed as her desires to please him and attract his attention grew.

The earliest signs of trouble also went unnoticed when Melissa would come inside with her daughter rather than drop her off and leave as she most often did. On those days, Kaylie would grow furious with the way the object of her affection seemed to fawn all over her mother. The smiles, the pleasantries, the willingness to spend his time with her while completely ignoring Kaylie as she stood right there wanting the attention her mother was getting. He seemed to ignore Kaylie completely while overtly doting on the woman who was more than twice her age. The only saving grace for Kaylie was that her mother tended to be as oblivious to Kyle's attention as he was to hers.

Just a month before this frantic phone call to Kyle, Kaylie had said something that caused Melissa to become concerned. Over the next two weeks, her concerns blossomed into outright worry and had spilled over into anger one day after a phone call from her guidance counselor at school.

The initial concerns began with a question on the way home. "How much older can a boy be than a girl if she really likes him?" Kaylie had asked out of the blue.

"That's an unusual question, sweetheart. What makes you ask?" Melissa was almost afraid to learn the answer simply by virtue of her daughter's outward beauty. It was beyond likely that older boys would take more than a passing interest in her just as they'd done with Melissa when she was that age. At 14, Kaylie could easily pass for being 16 and with a little willful imagination, high school boys could readily convince themselves she was 18.

"I don't know. I mean, boys my age are so...silly. They like stupid stuff and they say stupid things."

"Well, boys tend to mature a little later than girls, honey. Don't worry. They'll catch up in a couple of years and you'll find they can be very...interesting."

"But is there something wrong with a dating someone who's older? You know, maybe even several years older."

Melissa noticed Kaylie wasn't looking at her as she spoke. "Hmmm. How much older are you talking about? Like maybe a junior who's 16 or something?"

"Um...yeah. Or maybe even a little older than that," she said without a lot of emotion.

Melissa sighed then said, "Are you possibly talking about a boy who's a senior?" She had a kind of sick feeling in her stomach as she thought back on how she'd had a crush a boy who was three years older than her when she was in high school That boy had been a charming, incredibly handsome sophomore in college who turned out to be Kaylie's father, a man she'd never known or even met. The last thing she wanted, and something she openly feared, was her daughter making a similar mistake. Being so attractive was both a blessing and a curse and Melissa had experienced the best and worst of both sides of that coin.

"I dunno," Kaylie said in a noncommittal way. "Isn't it true we don't choose who we fall in love with? Doesn't it just kind of...happen?" She finally looked at her mom as she asked that question.

"Well, it's true that we can't really help liking someone, but we have to remember that liking someone...even having romantic feelings for someone...isn't the same as falling in love let alone some kind of approval to act on those feelings. Some relationships are just inappropriate."

"That's why I'm asking, Mom. How old is too old and doesn't it depend on how mature the people involved are? Don't people fall in love sometimes who aren't the same age?"

"Yes, but that also depends on other factors."

"What kind of factors?" Kaylie asked.

"Well, let's say someone is 45 and the other person is 35 or even 30. They're both adults with a lot of life experience. That's still a big difference but it's not...wrong. But if someone is say...25 and the other person is say...17, then that is wrong."

"But why, Mom? What makes it wrong? What if they're both in love? What's wrong with that?"

Melissa knew Kaylie couldn't possibly understand all that went into relationships to include those things that could do great harm to someone too young to understand. She wished there was a way to impart the experience she'd gained the hard way by some kind of brain transference machine, but she knew wisdom came only from experience. And experience wasn't something a 14-year old had—or should have.

Never once did it occur to her that Kaylie's violin teacher could be the object of her affection as she asked, "Kaylie? Is there some particular boy you're talking about? Is there someone...older than you or even a lot older than you that you have a crush on? You can trust me, you know."

Kaylie had always trusted her mother. She was not just her parent but her best friend, as well. But in this case she knew that were she to be honest, her mother would never let her take another lesson and were she unable to be around the man she was sure she loved, she really didn't know what she might do.

"No, not really," Kaylie said dodging the specific question. "I was just wondering if maybe there was an exact age or something. That's all."

"No, there's not exact age, honey. It changes as we get older. Right now, a couple of years is probably as old as you should even consider. At 18 it might be 3-5. At 21 it might be as much as 10 years. At 30 it could be 15 or 20. But no, there's no magic formula, okay?"

"Okay," she replied. "Oh, I want to play the new piece I started learning today. Kyle is such an amazing teacher and he makes playing so...exciting!"

While she was grateful for the change in subjects, that comment, taken with the questions Kaylie had just asked was what raised concerns. At that point, it was nothing but a gut feeling; a hunch. But a mother couldn't be too careful especially one who'd learned such an important lesson the hard way.

Getting pregnant after giving in to this charming, sweet-talking college boy had had such a profound effect on Melissa that she'd rarely dated since having Kaylie while she herself was still in high school. She loved men, and she'd love nothing more than to be happily married to someone who loved her unconditionally. She just found it so hard to trust them. As a result, she'd not only lost her childhood and her innocence, she'd lost out on so many experiences a woman her age should have had. In one sense, she was still a young woman trapped in a kind of time warp wishing she could relive her youth. It was almost certainly the reason she still found herself attracted to younger men who fit into her illusion of a life that had passed her by as she bore and raised her daughter by herself. It was almost certainly the reason she had found herself so secretly and deeply attracted to the young man who taught the violin to her daughter. But now the possibility that Kyle could be Kaylie's older man; that he could be...like that...caused her to begin to wonder if he was really just like every other man she'd known.

Kaylie had not only played the new piece for her mom later that evening, she'd practiced it for hours each night for the next two weeks. She practiced so many hours Melissa wasn't sure if she should be proud or deeply concerned.

As she played the final notes for last time for her teacher, Kyle began to applaud. "That was...incredible!" he told her as she finished.

"Really? Was I really okay?" she asked with tremendous hopefulness. The way he was smiling at her made her think...made her feel that maybe he felt the same way about her.

"Okay?" he asked. "You were far more than okay," he told her. "For someone with your experience, that was...magnificent!"

Kyle held out his arms and Kaylie melted into them. The hug lasted just 2-3 seconds, but for Kaylie it was an eternity. An eternity in which her greatest hopes were realized. The way he held her 'told' her this was real. She was so completely in love she could barely think.

"Thank you, Kyle!" she said as he let go. "You're the best teacher ever!" Her eyes were sparkling as she kissed him without warning. He'd tried to pull back, but she had managed to peck him on the lips, and Kyle found himself unable to further react.

He stared at her for a second as he looked into her eyes. He saw her smile and the way she was looking at him, but it still didn't register. It just didn't make any sense. Rather than gently rebuke her he told her, "Um, okay. So we'll start something new next week."

"I'm so excited!" Kaylie replied. "I...can't wait, Kyle. I just love...taking lessons from you!"

Melissa remembered how different her daughter had been that weekend. It was as though she were experiencing the manic phase of someone with bi-polar disorder. She was blissfully happy and bubbly to a degree Melissa had never before seen. When she asked her all Kaylie would say was she was the happiest girl on earth.

The following Monday, Melissa got a phone call at work. "Ms. Kellogg? Hi, this is Andrea Goldman from school. I'm Kaylie's guidance counselor."

Melissa had never gotten a call from any teacher or counselor before as Kaylie was an excellent student with no behavioral issues. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I don't know," Ms. Goldman replied. "Her teacher referred her to me because Kaylie seemed to be..."