Montana Winter

I slammed my Stetson on my head and put my coat on as I ran.

I got to the barn and Edith was on her side, her head in Sherry's lap, looking miserable. She mooed a pathetic moo when she saw me, but she rolled her eyes up like she had some hope.

"That's all right, girl," I said to her and patted her neck. "You're going to be okay. I'm gonna take good care of you."

I went down to look at her other end. A full section of tiny rump and a back right hoof were sticking out.

Fuck.

That's so not good.

I smacked my hands together loudly. "Time is now. Let's get on this. Okay, everybody, first order of business. Let's get 'er standing up."

"Standing up?" Sherry asked.

"You betcha," Clay said.

Edith weighs about 900 pounds usually. More with the calf and the reluctance to move. It took me, plus Clay, Sherry, and Josh, some spit, prayers, and encouragement to get her standing.

"Atta girl," I said.

"All right," I said. We all snapped into action. We all washed and scrubbed up. I put on rubber gloves that came up over the elbow, practically to my armpits.

"Clay, you got the bovine speculum?"

"Got it."

"Josh," I said. "Hand me the obstetrician chains."

Josh handed me the smooth, slick ropes we use to put inside the cow and turn the calf.

"Okay, Josh, I want you to go to Edith's head, look her in the eye and keep her calm."

Clay and I set to work. It seems contrary to logic, but first you have to push the calf back in.

"She's fighting you," Sherry said.

"Of course she's fighting me!" I bit back.

I carefully held my hand over the bottom of the hoof, worked it back in the uterus, got the chains in place over the calf's hock.

"Okay, Sherry, come here," I said. I showed her where I wanted her to massage Edith's side. I was still hoping we could turn the calf, rather than having to just pull it out breech. From the way the calf was presenting, I was hoping the umbilical cord was still connected.

Sherry massaged, Clay kept the vagina open, I gently turned the calf.

"Keep talking to her, Josh," I said.

"I don't know what to say," he whined.

"It doesn't matter what," I assured him. "It's the tone of voice. Just keep telling her that it will be all right."

I heard Josh mutter, and I put all my attention on that little calf. When I thought she was in the best position she could be in, at that she'd spent as much time in there as I was willing to risk I looked at Clay and said, "Let's do it."

He took one side of the chains, and I took the other.

"On three. One, two, three."

We both tugged. Two feet first, head—thank god—body, feet, whoosh. Down on the ground.

Sherry handed me a towel, and I rubbed off the calf. Blueish-grey. Glassy-eyed. Didn't look like it was breathing.

Oh no.

"JOSH! Get me that stem of flax from the counter. Now!"

I felt the calf's chest. Good heartbeat.

I took the end of the flax and stuck it up in the entrance of her nostril and wiggled it. For a moment there was nothing. I moved the flax again to tickle the inside of her nose. She snorted. Snorted again. Coughed.

Josh sounded amazed. "You annoyed her into breathing."

Clay sat back and laughed. "Well you are one annoying son of a bitch."

"Where'd you learn how to do that?" Sherry asked.

I looked up. Lore was standing by the door to the barn. I smiled at him. I looked back at Sherry. "Beef magazine. Turned out it was about cows."

All the adults laughed.

"What? What?" Josh asked.

Edith turned around and started licking the calf, and the calf responded happily. The calf moved, somewhat easily, until she was half sitting up. The calf flicked her ears back and forth, and rocked in the way new calves do, like they are thinking about getting up but know that their new little legs need a moment before they try it.

The calf's color looked good, and her eyes were clear. She smacked her lips and made a cheerful baby moo.

I stripped off my gloves. I washed up, and so did Clay.

"You think we should give Edith shot of penicillin? In case she's got some small internal tears or something?" I asked.

Clay and I both turned around and looked at Edith. If she looked any fitter she could bale hay herself.

"I guess not," Clay said.

All the other cows peered around to look at the momma and the new calf.

"This is all your fault," I said softly to Clay. "You're the one who got her pregnant."

He punched me in the arm.

"What are we going to name her?" Josh asked.

"I don't know, short stack," I said. "What do you want to name her?"

He looked around. Johnny was standing behind Lore.

"Ah... Johnny?"

"That's a pretty funny name for a girl cow," I said. "But I guess if you spell it with an i at the end it's okay."

I was joking, thinking he was asking Johnny for his opinion, but he was serious—that's what he wanted to name the calf.

"What about Joanie?" Sherry asked.

"I guess that's okay too," Josh said.

"Joanie it is," Clay said.

*

Later that night I was back in Lore's bed.

"That was pretty amazing what you did with that calf."

"It's all in a day's work. We like to put on an entertaining show for the guests, you know. Besides, that's the only type of Va-J-J I get."

"Seriously," Lore said. "You saved that calf's life, and maybe the mother's."

"It took a team. And we were lucky. Nature can be tough out here. We do our best. Deaths happen. Accidents happen. That's life on a ranch. Clay taught me to be grateful for everything. Concentrate on the good things, savor them. Focus on them."

I looked him in the eye. Then I leaned in and just barely licked his bottom lip. I drank in the beauty of him. "Revel in the good moments; go back to those. Like when the best fucking of your life is interrupted, don't let that get you all owly, just go right back to where you left off."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I said. "Now. Where's my lasso?"

He smiled. My heart skipped a beat. Don't get involved, heart.

"No more fucking," he said.

Oh God. "No?" I asked.

"Un-uh." He held my face in both his hands and kissed me softly, exploring my mouth. He pushed me backwards on the bed and leaned on top of me.

"Love making from now on," he said, his voice low and husky.

He kissed me until I felt like I was going to melt through the mattress. Just keep a stone casing around your heart, I told myself, and you'll be fine. You can make love for a week, and you'll be fine when he leaves. Although if I were to be honest, I'd know there was no stone casing in the world thick enough to resist what even the slightest touch from Lore was starting to do to me.

He kissed his way down his neck, to my shoulder.

"Love making now, Noah," he said firmly.

"Okay," I said, my voice coming out breathy and full of surrender. His body tightened.

"But can we still throw in some rough, hard, thorough fucking once and while just for the hell of it?"

He laughed and ground his hips into mine. He smiled. "I think we can work something out."

*

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